Note: I don't own any of the characters except Marie. The ideas to put the characters together are Amanda Stevens. However, how they end up where they are is all my idea and the fan fic and spams being sent to our heroes are written by me.
Format: This will be partly written like a normal story, but things that characters say to each other, out loud will be written in a script form. The name of the character talking is in bold. Their actions are surrounded by (). Words in italics will be used to symbolize when words are from the fan fic or spam the guys are misting.
Title:
Misting #1: The Horror Begins - Chapter 4
Place: Main room of Vince's headquarters
Vince watched as his victims' (our heroes') molecules faded from his transporter. He turned his attention to the big screen and pressed a button. The screen's image changed to that of the interior of the Satellite of Degenerates.
Place: The den of the Satellite of Degenerates
From the screen, Vince watched as our heroes' molecules reassembled into their correct forms. Problem is that they reassembled in mid air. Our reformed heroes found themselves falling to the floor, which they hit with a thud. The four men expressed sounds of pain and discomfort.
Vince: Rough landing, I see.
Our heroes turned in the direction of Vince's voice and found his image on what appeared to be very large, but normal looking plasma screen tv.
Vince: I'm still getting some of the bugs worked out of the transporter.
In reality, Vince thought he might keep that bug in the transporter. It was rather amusing.
Shawn: So we noticed.
Shawn tried to get up, but realized that his legs weren't moving.
Shawn: My legs! I can't move my legs.
Sean: Neither can I.
Hunter: That's because I'm on top of Shawn's legs, who's on top of Sean's legs...
Bret: Who's on top of mine.
Sean and Shawn: Oh.
Hunter was just glad that no one had fallen on top of his injured knee. He stood up and stretched out a hand to help Shawn up.
Shawn accepted it and started to be assisted up. However, he just couldn't keep his mouth shut.
Shawn: Wait...you're not wearing anything under that robe, are you?
Hunter let go of Shawn's hand. Shawn wasn't expecting it and fell back on top of Sean. Sean and Bret both expressed more sounds of pain.
Hunter: (all three men were looking at him angrily) Sorry.
This time Hunter helped Shawn up. Sean got up on his own. Bret, who'd had bad knees for a years now, got into a kneeling position.
Vince: Welcome to the Satellite of Degenerates. I will be your master, your caretaker...
Hunter: Our mad genius.
Vince: I will determine if you have a bad experience or a truly awful one.
Shawn: Are those our only options?
Vince: You will find the satellite to be fully outfitted and equipped to provide all your needs.
Sean: Fast speed Internet and Nintendo Wii? (the others stare at him)
Vince: Actually yes.
Sean: Cool. This might not be too bad. Let's check it out.
Hunter: I'd like to check out the wardrobe myself. (he badly needed to get dressed)
Bret: (finally standing) Wait. There's got to be a catch.
Vince: You have your first post to read.
Bret: The catch.
Vince: So get to it. (Vince disappears and the tv screen goes black)
Our heroes stood around in silence, confused as to what they were to do next. Suddenly, flashing red lights and sirens disrupted the silence. They covered their ears and shouted over the noise.
Sean: What do we have, Klingons? Who sounded the red alert?
Bret: (looking at something behind the others) Look! (he points and the others turn to see a sign)
Hunter: (reads sign) Enter.
Bret: Must be where we're supposed to read our first post. (Sean already starts heading there)
Shawn: What will happen if we don't enter?
Bret: We go insane in fifteen minutes from listening to this noise.
Shawn: You have a point.
Bret: I do?
Shawn: (pushing ahead of Bret and Hunter) Yes. I'm going in. You stay out here and go insane.
Hunter: (right behind Bret and Shawn) Let's all go inside before I go insane and kill you both. (Bret and Shawn look back at him both worried for him and of him)
Meanwhile, Sean has pushed inside first. He leads the others through the doors into a darkened theater. To our heroes, the situation just kept getting weirder.
Shawn followed Sean down the aisle. Bret was third and Hunter was behind him.
When the door closed behind Hunter, the siren stopped. Out of curiosity, Hunter opened the door. Immediately the siren turned back on. Hunter closed the door quickly and the siren stopped again. He turned back to face the aisle and found Bret and Shawn looking back at him annoyed and helpless.
Hunter: We're trapped.
Our heroes continued walking down the aisle amazed at how large the theater was for just four people.
Sean: Wow! Look at that screen. It's huge. I could use something like this at my house.
Bret: Remember Sean, it looks impressive, but this is all part of Vince's plan to destroy us. It's evil.
Sean: At least it looks cool. (he chooses the sixth seat on the inside of the sixth row from the screen to sit in, the others follow)
Shawn: It would be cool if it wasn't going to lead to our destruction. (sits down next to Sean)
Bret enters the row and is going to sit down, till he sees who he's sitting next to.
Shawn: Oh no.
Bret: I can't...I won't sit next to him.
Shawn: Here we go.
Bret: I've spent the last 9 and a half years avoiding him. Sitting next to him is out of the question.
Shawn: Bitterman...
Hunter: (entering the row, not wanting a fight) Oh, for goodness sakes. I'll sit next to Shawn.
Hunter and Bret move around to switch positions.
Bret: Owww! (Hunter looks at him) You kicked me in the shin.
Hunter: (sitting, smiling slyly) Sorry.
Bret: (angry) You did that on purpose.
Hunter: Couldn't have hurt that much, I don't have shoes on.
Bret: Wish I had a soda to spill on the floor.
Bret sat down finally and almost immediately an image appeared. It was a countdown from 5 to 1, like the one seen at the movies.
Sean: (during the countdown) It's starting and I have no popcorn.
All (but Sean): Shhh!
At 1, the screen went black.
Shawn: In the beginning, there was darkness.
Then, two words in white appeared on the black screen in big font.
Good morning
Hunter: It's morning?
Bret: It's always morning somewhere in the world.
Sean: It's good?
Welcome to the Satellite of Degenerates home theater system. From this point forward the Satellite of Degenerates will be referred to as the SOD.
Shawn: What a rush.
Bret: That's LOD.
Allow me to introduce
DX: (singing one of the songs from Wrestlemania 22) You to the chararacters...(Bret and Sean look at them)
myself,
Sean: Where's me and I?
I am your hostess marie.
Sean (as Marie): And I'm an alcoholic who is too drunk to remember to capitalize my name.
All: Hi Marie.
You are probably wondering who I am.
Bret: Not really. From what Vince told us, you must be the person Vince hired to help torture us.
Sean: You realize that we're talking to a screen, right?
Hunter: Just so that we can stay sane.
Shawn: Although I suppose it could look like we're insane.
Actually, you look quite normal, for now
All: (stare at screen wide eyed)
and as you might have now realized, I can see every expression you guys make and hear everything you say.
Shawn: Fine, what am I doing? (he picks his nose with his right hand)
Picking your nose with your right hand
Shawn: (his hand drops to his lap in shock)
All (but Shawn): Uh oh.
Now I'm aware of what Vince told you, so I won't bore you by repeating.
All: Thanks.
You're welcome
Sean: At least, she's a polite evil doer.
Bret: So was Hannibal Lector.
I heard that!
Bret: (winces)
Now this post won't be the norm. In fact, it's the most interactive one you will probably ever read.
Shawn: I'm having flashbacks of last Cyber Sunday.
Just so you know the drill for the future, you will receive posts every few days...or whenever Vince desires it.
Bret: We're in for it then.
Sirens will signal as you saw earlier and you will be expected to take your seats. You will be expected to read the posts as they appear...and stay awake
Hunter: (has started to doze off, but wakes up suddenly) Oww! (jumps up, the others stare and start to smell electricity and electrocuted human) The chair shocked me.
as you can see, you're chairs are designed to give off small amounts of electricity, there will be no falling asleep
Shawn: You've had a rough day Hunter.
Hunter: I'm going to be a crispy critter if this continues. (sits down cautiously)
As I was going to say
Bret: You forgot a period in the sentence before this.
I'm typing fast to keep up with you guys. So, give me a break.
Bret: Just thought you should know.
Normally, I won't be typing your posts as you read. I will just give you the whole thing and you can determine how fast you read them; thereby putting control in your hands
Sean: Thereby allowing us to participate in our own destruction.
Exactly.
All: (look at each other more worried than before)
I believe Shawn Michaels that if you feel under your seat, you will find something that resembles a remote controller.
Shawn: (feels for the controller under the seat, pulls it out) I got it!
Feel free to pass it around. If you all look closely, you will see a forward button.
Sean: Can we try it?
Not on this post. On future posts, you may press the button. When you do, a few lines of your post will appear on the screen.
Hunter: And if we keep pressing, we will reach the end of our post.
Not so fast Crispy, you must read the lines that appear or the post returns to the beginning and starts over.
Sean: Looks like you and Vince thought of everything.
Yes. Now, a little bit more information about why you four are here.
Sean: But Vince already explained that.
But he left a few things out.
All: (groan)
Vince is a very frustrated man.
Hunter: Sexually and professionally.
Bret: Hunter!
Vince wanted revenge, but he needed assistance. So he sent out a personal ad on the Internet
Hunter: (sounding like a personal ad) Millionaire and evil genius with a stick up his ass and a score to settle seeking willing accomplice. Must be female between 18 and 27 years of age and be willing to do anything. Must be a good writer, be able to type 40-50 wpm and be able to search on the Internet. No life is preferable.
You've go the right idea. Except for the no life part.
Hunter: Sure.
I answered the ad and Vince hired me. He paid good money.
Bret: It's bad money. Tainted money. The devil's money.
The amount was good. You should know something about that, you WCW sell out.
Shawn: She's got you there Bret. (Bret glares at him)
Part of my assistance to Vince came in the form of helping him to decide which of his current and former employees should be brought to the satellite for him to torture.
Shawn: So we can blame so much of this on you.
Sean: If you would just be kind enough to leave us your email address...
Nice try. Believe it or not, I'm a very big fan of wrestling.
Hunter: I believe that you being very big' has to do with you having no life.
Bret: You know Hunter, insulting the author is not going to make this experience with her any more pleasant.
Thank you Hart for telling Crispy that. You are my favorite wrestler. It's such an honor to meet you.
Shawn: Nice to know Bret has one fan. Too bad she's crazy.
Bret: (to Shawn) I have millions of perfectly sane fans, I'll have you know.
Shawn: Sure.
Bret: (to the screen) And my fans don't normally call me a sell out.
Apologies. I do really like you, but you have to understand, I need the money. My father's sick and out of work. He has no insurance and I have all the financial responsibilities.
Hunter: Cry me a river sweetheart.
Bret: (to the screen) That is not a good enough reason to ruin my life.
Shawn: Or mine.
Sean: You could have just gotten a job as a stripper if you needed the money so bad. (the others stare at him) What? At least she'd be providing a service and working legally...barely.
Watch it!
Sean: (cringes)
I can handle Bret insulting me. He's on my good list and I like him. As for the rest of you, you're either on my bad list or my could care less about list.
Sean: (singing to the tune of 'Santa Clause Is Coming To Town') You're making a list and checking it twice...
And after checking it over, only one of you is on my bad side.
All (but Shawn): (stare at Shawn)
Shawn: (realizing all eyes are on him) What?
Hunter: It's just that die hard fans of Bret are not usually fans of you.
I used to be a fan of Shawn.
Bret: Till Survivor Series.
That's only when I began to hate him. I wasn't much of a fan after Shawn through Marty threw the barber shop window.
Bret: Wait Shawn, you went through Marty to throw the barber shop window? Someone has anger management issues.
Shawn: This coming from someone who destroyed the broadcasting equipment and punched out his boss at the end of his last Survivor Series. (Bret glares) It should say, "After Shawn threw", as in 't-h-r-e-w', "Marty through", as in 't-h-r-o-u-g-h' "the barber shop window". (to screen) You not only use homonyms incorrectly, but you hold a bigger grudge than your hero. You also can't tell the difference between what's real and what's scripted.
Hunter: You done?
Shawn: I needed to vent. I'm sorry.
I did love Shawn and Bret's match at Wrestlemania 12, but I think Shawn's victory was tainted. Winning in overtime
Shawn: Ah gee...
So it should be no surprise that when Vince asked me who my least favorite wrestlers were that Shawn would appear fourth on the list.
Sean: At least Shawn, you can take comfort in the fact that you weren't number one on this list.
Bret: This is actually a list he deserves to be number one on.
Hunter: Who were the top three, I wonder? (Shawn puts his head in his hands)
My top three least favorite wrestlers counting down from 3 to 1 are Ric Flair
Shawn: How can anyone hate Flair?
Bret: Very easily.
Shawn: You just don't like it that someone is considered a better wrestler than you.
Bret: I don't like it when wrestlers are considered better by people who can't tell the difference between technical skill and showmanship.
Shawn: Of which you have neither. (Bret starts to rise, Hunter stops him from getting up)
Hulk Hogan
Hunter: I think the author has a thing against old has-been wrestlers still wrestling.
Shawn: Remind me to tell Flair you called him a has-been if we ever get back to Earth.
Hunter: Well, (stammering) I don't think Flair's a has-been. That's just what some wrestling fans think.
and number 1 on my list...can I get a drum roll, please
Sean: (gives her a drum roll)
is Lex Luger.
Hunter: Now that I agree with.
Sean: So why aren't Shawn, Flair, Hogan and Luger being subjected to this?
Because Vince made the final decisions. Shawn and Hunter were obvious choices because of how much they'd been bugging Vince. Plus, where Shawn goes, Triple H goes. They're a package.
Bret: One you'd like to ship to Antarctica. (DX glares at him)
And Xpac was thrown in for good measure.
Sean: I feel like I'm the last ingredient of a recipe. First, take one Hitman, original DX, and throw in Xpac.
Stir it up and let it set. Caution: Volatile capabilities due to its explosive elements.
Sean and Hunter: (look at Shawn and Bret)
Shawn and Bret: Hey!
Believe it or not, you're first post is almost over.
All: Yeah!
I said almost (tear)
Hunter: Oh great, we made the writer cry.
Now that we are at the end, the time has come to announce the leader of your little band.
Sean: Band? I can't play an instrument. Guess that means I'm out. (gets up)
Sit down!
Sean: (he sits)
Good boy. Now, your band of degenerates will be headed by somebody who is good under pressure. Someone who's led before, and has proven himself to be capable.
Shawn: That sounds like me.
Bret: I'd like to resign.
Someone who has earned your respect at one time or another even if you don't care to admit it.
Shawn: That's me all right. You may not like me, but you have to respect me.
Sorry Shawn, it's not you. You are; however, second in command. Vince's choice, you understand.
Shawn: I can live with that. (turns away from screen towards Hunter) So Hunter, congratulation buddy. We will rule this satellite like we ruled the WWE. (Bret cringes)
Hunter: (after reading the screen) Shawn, hate to tell you this.
Shawn: Tell me what?
Hunter: Look at the screen.
Shawn: (looks at the screen)
Triple H is not your leader.
Shawn: (turns away from the screen towards Sean) Sean, pal, have I ever told you how much I have always respected you?
Sean: (smiling wide) You're going to have to do better than that Shawn. Look at the screen.
Xpac is not your leader.
Shawn: But that leaves...(hysterical) No, say it's not true.
Hunter: Shawn, get a hold of yourself.
Shawn: But...
Sean: Speaking of butts, I'd start kissing Bret's right about now.
Bret: He doesn't have to go that far. Getting down on his knees and begging will suffice.
Yes, Bret Hart is your leader.
Shawn: Noooo!!!
Hunter: Come on Shawn. At least you're his second. That means Bret has to listen to you...some of the time.
Bret: Damn!
Hunter's right. Bret and Shawn do have to work together.
Bret: And how exactly are we supposed to do that? We've never even agreed on anything before.
Shawn: Except that we hate each other and cannot work together without it ending in violence.
Sean: (to screen) Remember what you said about explosive elements.
Hunter: You are mixing the fire in Bret to the TNT in Shawn.
Sean and Hunter: Extreme volatile capability.
Shawn: Now wait just a minute...
We will wait. We will sit back and see if Bret and Shawn can survive as leaders without destroying one another. They shouldn't forget the times that they have worked together, maybe not as friends
Bret: (interrupting) I can't think of a time we were ever friends.
but you still worked together. And you put on some of the best matches, not only of your careers, but the greatest known to the wrestling world.
Bret: It doesn't look like we have much of a choice, does it Shawn?
Shawn: I guess not.
Will Bret and Shawn be able to work together?
Sean: Tune in tomorrow to see if they're still alive.
The End
All: Yeah!
Sean: (looking at the screen) Oh no, another line.
The end of the beginning that is.
Hunter: Why do I have a feeling that it's only going to get worse from here?
Sean: So what do we do now?
Hunter: I don't know Kid. Why don't we direct that question to our new leaders? (Sean looks at Shawn and Hunter looks at Bret)
Shawn: Don't look at me; I'm just the second. (he, Hunter and Sean all look at Bret)
Bret: Well...let's go check the place out.
Shawn: I second that. (Bret rolls his eyes and exits the row)
Hunter: (exiting the row) This should be interesting.
Our heroes exit the theater.
The End...for now.
What'd you think? Another misting will be sent soon.
I do in fact really like Bret. I even like Shawn, except I didn't think what happened at Survivor Series was right.
I do think that Flair should retire soon, but he is great on the mic. I never really liked Hogan, although I know how important he was to professional wrestling. I never liked Luger though.
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