Disclaimer: I do not own any aspect of this lovely series, and we should all be glad for this. It wouldn't be half as good if I did.

MESSAGE TO ALL WOULD-BE FLAMERS: I will ignore you. If you have clicked on this story DESPITE the warnings, you're an idiot anyway. If you are simply malicious and wish to insult me for my choice in pairing? You're close-minded and rude. If you disagree with this pairing: THAT IS FINE, we are all entitled to uor opinions, but this is FANFICTION, and we all have our rights to write and think what we want to think. I am not Paolini, therefore I can write whe characters as I want with whom I want. This is not canon. Flame away, and have fun being completly ignored. :-P

Since this is now going to be a multi-chapter story, I shall give you a new set of warnings for the story itself.

WARNINGS: Slash & incest, angst, citrus (if not outright lemon) later, spoilers for the end of Eldest, likely OOCness (hopefully not too much)

Italics Clarification:

//Mental speech//

'Thoughts'

"Flashback-type-thing"

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Clandestine

Dead as Yesterday

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"Love sometimes leaves you as dead as yesterday."

Pain.

Eragon closed his eyes tighter against the ache that permeated his chest, tossing himself onto his side in an attempt to fall into an oblivious sleep. Fate, though, seemed against him that night, and his thoughts came back once again to his troubles, to the overwhelming pain that had turned his world upside down.

Murtagh's revelations had been rapid fire and nearly incapacitating in their devastation. No, as shocking as it was to find out his oft-imagined father was one of the most reviled men in history was, his lineage did not shake him overmuch. He was still Eragon Shadeslayer, well-meaning but bumbling hero-figure to the Varden, no revelation could change that. Just as he had seen beyond Murtagh's heritage, he could ignore his own. He had never even met his father, let alone could he be anything like him.

No, the pain came from the shock of finding Murtagh, his beloved friend that he had mourned for the last near-year, alive and working for Galbatorix - unwillingly or otherwise. And his brother, to boot! At first, relief and his anger had overrode any reaction he could possibly have, aghast that Murtagh could possibly be working for the enemy after all they had gone through, but still glad for his survival. But now, in the quiet of night in his tent, the pain set in.

Eragon felt hollow, chilled on the inside. The relief of Murtagh's life had worn off now, leaving in its wake an empty pain that reverberated through his very being, drilling into him and rendering him sleepless in its clutches.

The pain was engulfing and asphyxiating, gnawing him from within and driving him nearly to hysterics. Murtagh was alive, a servant to Galbatorix and a Dragon Rider, and was his blood. He wasn't sure what it was that pained him more, the betrayal that ached from his very soul, or the absolute devastation wrought upon him by learning that the enigmatic brunet he had traveled with was in fact his brother.

It was the second that would have brought him to his knees if he attempted to stand, a pain so tremendous in its intensity that it crushed the breath from his chest and left Eragon curled as he was in his bed, wide awake in the middle of the night.

Murtagh - his strong, often playful and always courageous traveling companion was his brother. Eragon's closest friend since leaving Carvahall, a fierce and brave warrior, keen mind, uncommon soul, and an unending enigma…and now officially out of Eragon's reach.

Oh, when the pain had first onset, he had had difficulties understanding why it hurt so much, why the pain was so intense, why the revelation of his relation to the dark haired man had stirred such upset in his heart. He had toiled for hours, through his meeting with Nasuada, planning with Roran, talking with Saphira and on to his self-imposed seclusion in his tent. It had been hours since then, and he had only recently gone beyond his own denial and finally allowed himself to see the truth.

He had thought that the way he had felt when Arya rejected him had been heartbreak, that the fluttery feeling that ran through him in her presence was love. He did not deny his attraction to the Elven princess, in all her beauty and nobility. He cared for her and was drawn to her as a moth to the flame…but it was far from love.

Perhaps he would have gone on forever believing himself in love with the striking elf, someday having that affection returned and defying the social precedent. Perhaps he would have realized the shallow quality of the feelings he harbored and found a girl that stirred something within him, sired children and tried to live the life he had always imagined for himself. Either had been entirely possible…until the moment he had ripped off the red Rider's helm and uncovered Murtagh's mischievous hazel eyes.

At some point along the weeks they spent traveling, he had fallen in love with his friend.

It had been like a physical blow, and still the consequence of that attack plagued him. In just a few hours he had to process a whole new ancestry, the idea of being completely in love with a man, and finally that the man he had unknowingly surrendered his heart to was, in fact, his brother.

In Carvahall, such feelings for a man were considered an abnormality, something to be shied from and ignored at all costs. In his travels, he had noticed the rest of the world was not quite so close minded, though it was not widely accepted anywhere. But despite his ingrained aversion, the revelation that he had been captured by his own sex did not disgust him as much as he had thought it might. Realizing he had fallen in love with the rare, wonderful soul Murtagh had been to him was fine - he certainly could have done worse.

But it was wrong - so wrong - to have such affection for one's family. He knew in some smaller villages it happened and was ignored…sometimes prospects were limited. But how could he in good conscience continue to have such affections for his brother, his blood? Had their lots in life been different, they may have grown up side by side, knowing one another as Eragon knew Roran. Eragon couldn't imagine having feelings for Roran like he had for Murtagh; the very thought of such a thing made his gag reflex act up. But it was worse with Murtagh, because where Eragon's mother and Roran's father were brother and sister, it was Eragon and Murtagh who were the siblings.

//Eragon, you are running in circles within your own mind. Sleep, little one…it will all seem easier in the morning.//

Eragon jerked and cursed internally; he hadn't meant to leave his mind open while ruminating. He considered blocking his dragon now, hoping that by morning his mental rambling would be forgotten…but he knew better. With a sigh he reached out to her, //Am I disgusting, Saphira?//

//Oh, Eragon// she said softly, a mental brush running lightly over him comfortingly, //We do not chose who we love. Humans have qualms about many a thing, don't they? Even so, you knew not of his relation to you when your feelings grew, and you cannot be faulted for loving him.//

//But…//

//Hush now. Worrying and thrashing yourself will do no good. It is not as if anything will come out of this affection, right?//

Eragon sighed and closed his eyes, trying to block out the thoughts that still whirred around his mind. Brother or not, in love or not…Murtagh was the enemy now, and he would have to go against him again, Eragon knew. He dreaded that day more than he could ever describe.

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Author's note 2.0 (after deciding to make this a story):

This will be continuing now, second chapter coming out in the next day or two (sorry to anyone who thought this was an update, but I just needed to update the chapter with new warnings and a chapter title, since it will be a chaptered story now). I thank everyone who encouraged this to continue, I hope you keep up the support. Thank you all, and hope you stay with me.

This story was inspired by the ending of Eldest and I only decided to actually write it because In Dreams by bookkbaby is such a wonderful read…I just had to write some Eragon after reading it. XD I hope she keeps updating, I swear I'll cry if she goes away. I swear I will!