Paybacks
Chapter 35
*******
Hope you like this chapter. I had some MAJOR writer's block!
For those of you who need a little refresher with all the Bosco torture/angst stories out there :o) Here goes a QUICK recap: Bosco got threatening notes, got beaten up a couple times, had a few hospital stays, was going to kill himself but Faith walked in, got shot later that day, ended up in the hospital again, Bosco's mom came to visit then left after realizing she helped hurt her son because she had returned to her old boyfriend—Skaget-, Bosco gets out of the hospital, disobeys doctor's orders, gets hurt in a fender bender, sees Faith at the pharmacy (she wasn't real happy with him cause he wasn't supposed to be driving), she sees how much pain he is in and takes him back to the hospital where he has to undergo another surgery for a little repair work (repair work—makes him sound like a car!)…so yeah, that's about it…of course there are a few details I'm sure I didn't mention, but I just wanted to give everyone a refresher. I'm sure it's all coming back to you now (it's all coming back to me now…isn't that a Celine Dion song???)
Enjoy!
******
Bosco slowly opened his eyes, and tried to focus on his surroundings. It didn't take long for him to remember what had happened. He felt strange…almost as if his head wasn't connected to his body. He was stiff, sore and uncomfortable. Bosco shifted in the hospital bed trying to get comfortable. A low groan escaped his lips.
"Bos?" Faith approached her partner. She put one hand on his head, and gently placed her other hand on the right side of his chest. "Hey partner. How you feeling?"
His mouth was like cotton. He swallowed, and licked his dry lips. "Hey," he rasped. "Can I go home now?"
"Not for awhile Bos." She played with his hair. "I'm supposed to get the nurse to let her know you woke up. Be right back."
Bosco nodded. He was still pretty drowsy from the surgery. By the time Faith got back with the nurse he was already asleep again. Faith took his hand between hers. "Bosco…Bos."
He stirred slightly. "Come on Bosco, its Faith. Open your eyes for me." Bosco's eyelids fluttered and once again he slowly opened his eyes. "The nurse needs to talk to you. OK?"
"Mmm hmm."
"Hi Officer Boscorelli. I need to change your bandages. This won't hurt at all, but I'd like if you'd try to stay awake OK?"
Bosco nodded as the nurse pulled his hospital gown down and revealed the new sets of stitches and staples from his latest surgery. She made quick work of changing the dressings, and then placed an ice pack on his shoulder. "This will keep the swelling down, and help with the pain," explained the nurse as she re-covered Bosco with the gown. Bosco had closed his eyes again. "You didn't fall asleep on me did you?"
"Huh?" He looked at the nurse.
"Just checking," she smiled. "On a scale from one to ten what is your level of pain?"
Bosco thought for a moment before he answered. His shoulder and chest felt strange; like they were weighted down, but he didn't think it was pain. However he couldn't really tell. "Uh, three I guess."
"Alright. I'll be back a little later to unhook your IV. If you need anything before then just use the call button."
"When can I go home?"
"That's up to the doctor. He'll be back later tonight."
Faith stood next to her partner still holding his hand. "A three Bosco? Are you lying?"
"I don't think so. I don't really feel anything."
"OK, but after what happened today you need to start being honest about how you're doing. *And* you have to start listening to what the doctor says. If he says no driving then *no* driving."
"I know. I know."
"No Bosco. I don't think you do. The whole time you were in surgery all I could think about was what would have happened to you if we didn't run into each other today. You scared the shit out of me again! You're not invincible Bos. One of these times you aren't going to be so lucky."
Bosco didn't say anything or even look at her. "Bosco I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you." Her eyes filled with tears.
He squeezed her hand. "I was scared too Faith." He took a deep breath. "And I know that if I'm gonna get back on the job I can't pull anymore of these stunts." He yawned and closed his eyes.
She pulled the blanket up to his chin. "I'm going to go pick up Fred, and go get your Mustang. I'll be back soon OK? You just get some rest."
"Mmm k."
*****
Faith opened the door to her apartment. She walked over to her husband who was sitting on the couch watching TV. "Hey hon," she leaned over and kissed him.
"Hey babe. How's Bosco?"
"Pretty groggy. But the doctor said he can go home sometime tonight since the surgery was basically a patch up job."
"So, you're going to be coming home later. Right?"
Faith turned to go into the kitchen. "Actually Fred I wanted to talk to you about that."
Fred followed her. "What do you mean by that?"
"Well I was thinking I should stay with Bosco for a couple nights. He's gonna need someone to look after him. Hell I never should have left him alone this morning. If I would have stayed with him he wouldn't have needed another surgery."
"Look, Maurice Boscorelli is a grown man…kinda. Anyway it isn't your fault he got hurt today. It was his own damn fault."
"I know. It's just…I'm his partner. I should have been there for him."
"Faith you're always there for him. Sometimes I think he relies on you too much. It's like he knows you'll bail him out of whatever trouble he's in." Fred was getting annoyed with all the talk about Boscorelli.
She chuckled. "Fred he's my partner, my best friend. Of course I'm going to bail him out if he's in trouble. He'd do the same for me."
"Yeah. Well I'm your husband."
Faith walked up to him, and put her arms around his waist. She looked into his eyes. "Fred I love you, and that will never change. You are my husband, the father of my children," she kissed him. "And I know this is hard for you to understand, but I'm all Bosco has, and he needs me right now. He's been through a lot and he shouldn't have to be alone." She read the look on his face. "Fred trust me. Bosco is no threat to our relationship. But I'm his best friend so I'm going to take him to his place and take care of him. Can you handle that?"
"Yeah. I can handle it, but you're right. I don't understand you and Bosco."
"I wish I could help with that, but it really is a cop thing," she smiled. "Now can you take me over to get Bosco's car?"
He kissed her. "Sure."
*****
"OK Bos, let's get you into bed."
"I wanna watch TV for a little while. Just let me sit on the couch." He slowly staggered over to the couch; still pretty out of it from the surgery earlier that evening. He now wore an immobilizer for his left arm; his elbow was bent and his wrist was fastened to a brace that was around his torso.
"Bosco you should really lay down."
"That's what I've been doing all day. Come on Faith, just sit with me and watch the game," he looked at her. "Please."
"OK fine," she huffed. "I swear you whine just like my kids."
Bosco grinned. "Who do you think taught them?"
He flipped through the channels trying to find the hockey game. As soon as he found the right channel he settled further into the cushions of the couch, and leaned his head back. His eyes were half closed, and his mouth slightly open.
Faith looked over at him and could tell he was exhausted. She really didn't want him falling asleep sitting on the couch. "Bosco, you doing OK?"
He slowly rolled his head to the side so he was looking at her. He nodded.
"You sure? Cause you look like you're going to fall asleep any second. Maybe we should get you into bed."
"No. I'm fine. I don't feel like sleeping."
"Bosco you had surgery today. You should really get some rest. Besides you said you were going to start following doctor's orders."
He looked at her once again. "I was pretty doped up when I said that."
"Yeah, and you're still doped up now. So come on, let's get you in your room."
"Come on Faith—" he whined.
"Bosco that isn't going to work with me again. So let's go."
He slowly stood up. "When did you become my mother?" he grumbled.
"Gee I don't know. When did we start working together?"
He glared at her.
"Hey, you started it."
She pulled back the covers of his bed. He glared at her again before sitting on the edge of the bed. He kicked off his shoes while Faith piled pillows at the head of the bed. "OK, you ready?"
"Yeah," Bosco started to ease himself down onto the pillows with Faith's assistance.
"You comfortable?"
"Not even close."
Faith rearranged the pillows around his injured left side and under his head. "Better?"
"Yup," he said lazily.
"I'm going to go crash on the couch. You need anything first?"
"Faith there's plenty of room. You can sleep in here with me. The couch isn't that comfortable."
"Bosco you need a good nights sleep. Besides I remember the last time we slept in the same room you snored so loud the earth moved."
"Bite me."
"Seriously Bos. I'll be fine on the couch. You need anything?"
"No. I'm OK."
"Just holler if you need me." When she reached the doorway she paused before turning off the light. "You still sleep with the light on?" She wasn't teasing him. She just wanted to make sure she left a light on if he needed it.
He played with the edge of his comforter. "Um…well, uh," he was always a little embarrassed about the fact that she knew he didn't like the dark.
"Bosco it's OK if you do. Just tell me which one to leave on."
"The lamp on the dresser," he replied softly.
"OK." Faith walked over and turned the lamp on before turning off the bedroom light. "Goodnight Bosco."
"'Night Faith."
Bosco stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. He was tired, but the constant throbbing and ache of his muscles wouldn't let him sleep. Plus he hated sleeping on his back but with the immobilzer and his current condition he couldn't do much else. He dealt with the throbbing pain for as long as he could, but finally couldn't take it anymore.
"Faith," he called. He wasn't sure if she could hear him, but he didn't want to yell and frighten her. "Hey Faith," he called a little louder this time. Bosco knew she heard him because he could hear footsteps approaching.
"What is it Bos? You OK?"
"Can't sleep. Can you get me a pain pill?"
"Yeah, be right back." She came back with his pill and a glass of water. "Hurts pretty bad huh?"
He handed the glass back to her. "It throbs. Just can't sleep."
"Maybe we should ice it down. That would probably help some."
Bosco nodded, and Faith went to retrieve the ice.
"Thanks Faith."
"No problem."
"No really. Thank you for everything."
"You're welcome Bosco," she smiled. "Anything else I can do?"
"You could stay in here with me. Promise I won't snore."
"Bosco—"
"I just don't feel like being alone Faith."
She looked into her partner's eyes. Man she hated the effect his eyes had on her. She could see that he just needed someone to be with him. Someone who would be close to him, and wouldn't leave him. His mother had turned her back on him, and Faith knew it was up to her to comfort him. His recovery, both physical and emotional, weren't going to be easy. So if he wanted her to stay she'd stay. "OK Bos. I'll stay in here with you, but remember, no snoring."
Faith laid down on top of the covers, and stared up at the ceiling.
"Do you have enough room? You can move closer to me Faith. I don't bite."
"I'm fine Bosco."
Within minutes they were fast asleep.
The pain woke Bosco in the morning. When he opened his eyes Faith was still sleeping beside him. He tried not to wake her as he pushed himself off the bed. She didn't even stir. Bosco rubbed his hand over his face in an attempt to wake himself up more. He went into the kitchen for something to drink.
He cursed softly as he ran into the coffee table. He still felt pretty wiped out from the surgery. Bosco poured himself a glass of orange juice. Then he undid the Velcro around his wrist, and let his left arm hang at his side. His elbow was stiff and he needed to move it. Unconsciously he began to rub his aching shoulder, and he thought back to the morning of the shooting.
Bosco reached up, and grabbed his gun from the top of the refrigerator. He always kept one of his guns there. Some cop in some movie he saw a long time ago had kept his gun on top of the fridge; Bosco figured it was a safe place.
He looked at the gun, and took it over to the kitchen table. He sat staring at it. The smooth silver barrel with its black inlay handle. It was polished and oiled to perfection. He remembered once when Faith had said he treated his gun better than his girlfriend. She must have been right because he still had the gun, but didn't have a girlfriend.
He thought again about that morning and how scared he was. Scared for his safety as well as Faith's. He remembered praying to God. But most of all he remembered the look on Faith's face when she walked in and found him with his gun in his mouth.
Then he thought about later that day. When he was shot. The pain. The fear. He remembered how afraid he was to die, but couldn't understand it because just hours before he had planned to take his own life.
Bosco rested his finger on the trigger as he remembered his stay in the hospital, and how his mom had come to visit. His eyes were full of tears as he thought about how much he wanted his mother to love him, and to be proud of him.
He thought about the physical pain that he was feeling, and about the pain that was in store for him during his recovery. He thought about the fact that if the muscles in his shoulder and chest didn't heal properly he would no longer be a cop.
He stared at the gun in his hand. His finger on the trigger.
Then a hand covered his, and slowly pulled the gun away. "Bos?" Her voice was angelic.
Bosco looked up and met Faith's concerned eyes. "I was just thinking Faith," he whispered. "Honest."
She took the gun from him, and pulled out the clip before laying it on the table. "What were you thinking about?"
He wiped his forehead with the back of his wrist, and sighed heavily. "Ma…you…that day," he shook his head to clear it. "The future."
"You know Bosco, you can tell me anything. Anything at all."
He nodded nervously before looking down at the table. "That day. I didn't want to die," he looked at her. "Funny huh? This coming from a guy who was one second away from pulling the trigger to end it all. The guy who has no sympathy for people who commit suicide, and thinks they're all just being selfish." He kept shaking his head, and rubbing his face.
"I see it now though Faith. You know…why people do it. I understand it. That morning I really thought I was doing the right thing…I did. I really thought it was the right thing to do."
"Why Bos? What was so terrible that you wouldn't let us help?" She asked softly.
"I couldn't—couldn't let you get hurt because of me. You were in danger because of me. I couldn't let you get hurt," he said quickly his words rushing together as his voice broke. He looked into her eyes. "But then—then I saw the look on your face when you came in the room, and I-I realized that what I was doing, what I was trying to do would hurt you, and *I* would be the one hurting you."
Faith didn't know what to say.
"I'm sorry Faith. I'm sorry," he hung his head. "God I'm sorry."
She leaned across the table, and lifted his chin. "Look at me." He looked defeated, and ashamed. "I don't agree with what you were going to do, but I know if you were driven to that point things were really bad." She took a deep breath. "I'm just so glad you're still here…Bos, I'll never be able to forget what I saw that morning, but it doesn't mean I love you any less."
He nodded, his lips pressed tightly together. "So when I'm healthy enough to go back to work we still gonna be partners?"
"Absolutely."
They sat at the table for a short time. Neither of them saying a word. Just collecting their thoughts.
Bosco looked at her; a cocky smile on his face. "So you really kicked the shit out of Skaget?"
She smiled. "Like someone once said 'paybacks are a bitch'."
**********************
So what'd ya think?
Chapter 35
*******
Hope you like this chapter. I had some MAJOR writer's block!
For those of you who need a little refresher with all the Bosco torture/angst stories out there :o) Here goes a QUICK recap: Bosco got threatening notes, got beaten up a couple times, had a few hospital stays, was going to kill himself but Faith walked in, got shot later that day, ended up in the hospital again, Bosco's mom came to visit then left after realizing she helped hurt her son because she had returned to her old boyfriend—Skaget-, Bosco gets out of the hospital, disobeys doctor's orders, gets hurt in a fender bender, sees Faith at the pharmacy (she wasn't real happy with him cause he wasn't supposed to be driving), she sees how much pain he is in and takes him back to the hospital where he has to undergo another surgery for a little repair work (repair work—makes him sound like a car!)…so yeah, that's about it…of course there are a few details I'm sure I didn't mention, but I just wanted to give everyone a refresher. I'm sure it's all coming back to you now (it's all coming back to me now…isn't that a Celine Dion song???)
Enjoy!
******
Bosco slowly opened his eyes, and tried to focus on his surroundings. It didn't take long for him to remember what had happened. He felt strange…almost as if his head wasn't connected to his body. He was stiff, sore and uncomfortable. Bosco shifted in the hospital bed trying to get comfortable. A low groan escaped his lips.
"Bos?" Faith approached her partner. She put one hand on his head, and gently placed her other hand on the right side of his chest. "Hey partner. How you feeling?"
His mouth was like cotton. He swallowed, and licked his dry lips. "Hey," he rasped. "Can I go home now?"
"Not for awhile Bos." She played with his hair. "I'm supposed to get the nurse to let her know you woke up. Be right back."
Bosco nodded. He was still pretty drowsy from the surgery. By the time Faith got back with the nurse he was already asleep again. Faith took his hand between hers. "Bosco…Bos."
He stirred slightly. "Come on Bosco, its Faith. Open your eyes for me." Bosco's eyelids fluttered and once again he slowly opened his eyes. "The nurse needs to talk to you. OK?"
"Mmm hmm."
"Hi Officer Boscorelli. I need to change your bandages. This won't hurt at all, but I'd like if you'd try to stay awake OK?"
Bosco nodded as the nurse pulled his hospital gown down and revealed the new sets of stitches and staples from his latest surgery. She made quick work of changing the dressings, and then placed an ice pack on his shoulder. "This will keep the swelling down, and help with the pain," explained the nurse as she re-covered Bosco with the gown. Bosco had closed his eyes again. "You didn't fall asleep on me did you?"
"Huh?" He looked at the nurse.
"Just checking," she smiled. "On a scale from one to ten what is your level of pain?"
Bosco thought for a moment before he answered. His shoulder and chest felt strange; like they were weighted down, but he didn't think it was pain. However he couldn't really tell. "Uh, three I guess."
"Alright. I'll be back a little later to unhook your IV. If you need anything before then just use the call button."
"When can I go home?"
"That's up to the doctor. He'll be back later tonight."
Faith stood next to her partner still holding his hand. "A three Bosco? Are you lying?"
"I don't think so. I don't really feel anything."
"OK, but after what happened today you need to start being honest about how you're doing. *And* you have to start listening to what the doctor says. If he says no driving then *no* driving."
"I know. I know."
"No Bosco. I don't think you do. The whole time you were in surgery all I could think about was what would have happened to you if we didn't run into each other today. You scared the shit out of me again! You're not invincible Bos. One of these times you aren't going to be so lucky."
Bosco didn't say anything or even look at her. "Bosco I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you." Her eyes filled with tears.
He squeezed her hand. "I was scared too Faith." He took a deep breath. "And I know that if I'm gonna get back on the job I can't pull anymore of these stunts." He yawned and closed his eyes.
She pulled the blanket up to his chin. "I'm going to go pick up Fred, and go get your Mustang. I'll be back soon OK? You just get some rest."
"Mmm k."
*****
Faith opened the door to her apartment. She walked over to her husband who was sitting on the couch watching TV. "Hey hon," she leaned over and kissed him.
"Hey babe. How's Bosco?"
"Pretty groggy. But the doctor said he can go home sometime tonight since the surgery was basically a patch up job."
"So, you're going to be coming home later. Right?"
Faith turned to go into the kitchen. "Actually Fred I wanted to talk to you about that."
Fred followed her. "What do you mean by that?"
"Well I was thinking I should stay with Bosco for a couple nights. He's gonna need someone to look after him. Hell I never should have left him alone this morning. If I would have stayed with him he wouldn't have needed another surgery."
"Look, Maurice Boscorelli is a grown man…kinda. Anyway it isn't your fault he got hurt today. It was his own damn fault."
"I know. It's just…I'm his partner. I should have been there for him."
"Faith you're always there for him. Sometimes I think he relies on you too much. It's like he knows you'll bail him out of whatever trouble he's in." Fred was getting annoyed with all the talk about Boscorelli.
She chuckled. "Fred he's my partner, my best friend. Of course I'm going to bail him out if he's in trouble. He'd do the same for me."
"Yeah. Well I'm your husband."
Faith walked up to him, and put her arms around his waist. She looked into his eyes. "Fred I love you, and that will never change. You are my husband, the father of my children," she kissed him. "And I know this is hard for you to understand, but I'm all Bosco has, and he needs me right now. He's been through a lot and he shouldn't have to be alone." She read the look on his face. "Fred trust me. Bosco is no threat to our relationship. But I'm his best friend so I'm going to take him to his place and take care of him. Can you handle that?"
"Yeah. I can handle it, but you're right. I don't understand you and Bosco."
"I wish I could help with that, but it really is a cop thing," she smiled. "Now can you take me over to get Bosco's car?"
He kissed her. "Sure."
*****
"OK Bos, let's get you into bed."
"I wanna watch TV for a little while. Just let me sit on the couch." He slowly staggered over to the couch; still pretty out of it from the surgery earlier that evening. He now wore an immobilizer for his left arm; his elbow was bent and his wrist was fastened to a brace that was around his torso.
"Bosco you should really lay down."
"That's what I've been doing all day. Come on Faith, just sit with me and watch the game," he looked at her. "Please."
"OK fine," she huffed. "I swear you whine just like my kids."
Bosco grinned. "Who do you think taught them?"
He flipped through the channels trying to find the hockey game. As soon as he found the right channel he settled further into the cushions of the couch, and leaned his head back. His eyes were half closed, and his mouth slightly open.
Faith looked over at him and could tell he was exhausted. She really didn't want him falling asleep sitting on the couch. "Bosco, you doing OK?"
He slowly rolled his head to the side so he was looking at her. He nodded.
"You sure? Cause you look like you're going to fall asleep any second. Maybe we should get you into bed."
"No. I'm fine. I don't feel like sleeping."
"Bosco you had surgery today. You should really get some rest. Besides you said you were going to start following doctor's orders."
He looked at her once again. "I was pretty doped up when I said that."
"Yeah, and you're still doped up now. So come on, let's get you in your room."
"Come on Faith—" he whined.
"Bosco that isn't going to work with me again. So let's go."
He slowly stood up. "When did you become my mother?" he grumbled.
"Gee I don't know. When did we start working together?"
He glared at her.
"Hey, you started it."
She pulled back the covers of his bed. He glared at her again before sitting on the edge of the bed. He kicked off his shoes while Faith piled pillows at the head of the bed. "OK, you ready?"
"Yeah," Bosco started to ease himself down onto the pillows with Faith's assistance.
"You comfortable?"
"Not even close."
Faith rearranged the pillows around his injured left side and under his head. "Better?"
"Yup," he said lazily.
"I'm going to go crash on the couch. You need anything first?"
"Faith there's plenty of room. You can sleep in here with me. The couch isn't that comfortable."
"Bosco you need a good nights sleep. Besides I remember the last time we slept in the same room you snored so loud the earth moved."
"Bite me."
"Seriously Bos. I'll be fine on the couch. You need anything?"
"No. I'm OK."
"Just holler if you need me." When she reached the doorway she paused before turning off the light. "You still sleep with the light on?" She wasn't teasing him. She just wanted to make sure she left a light on if he needed it.
He played with the edge of his comforter. "Um…well, uh," he was always a little embarrassed about the fact that she knew he didn't like the dark.
"Bosco it's OK if you do. Just tell me which one to leave on."
"The lamp on the dresser," he replied softly.
"OK." Faith walked over and turned the lamp on before turning off the bedroom light. "Goodnight Bosco."
"'Night Faith."
Bosco stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. He was tired, but the constant throbbing and ache of his muscles wouldn't let him sleep. Plus he hated sleeping on his back but with the immobilzer and his current condition he couldn't do much else. He dealt with the throbbing pain for as long as he could, but finally couldn't take it anymore.
"Faith," he called. He wasn't sure if she could hear him, but he didn't want to yell and frighten her. "Hey Faith," he called a little louder this time. Bosco knew she heard him because he could hear footsteps approaching.
"What is it Bos? You OK?"
"Can't sleep. Can you get me a pain pill?"
"Yeah, be right back." She came back with his pill and a glass of water. "Hurts pretty bad huh?"
He handed the glass back to her. "It throbs. Just can't sleep."
"Maybe we should ice it down. That would probably help some."
Bosco nodded, and Faith went to retrieve the ice.
"Thanks Faith."
"No problem."
"No really. Thank you for everything."
"You're welcome Bosco," she smiled. "Anything else I can do?"
"You could stay in here with me. Promise I won't snore."
"Bosco—"
"I just don't feel like being alone Faith."
She looked into her partner's eyes. Man she hated the effect his eyes had on her. She could see that he just needed someone to be with him. Someone who would be close to him, and wouldn't leave him. His mother had turned her back on him, and Faith knew it was up to her to comfort him. His recovery, both physical and emotional, weren't going to be easy. So if he wanted her to stay she'd stay. "OK Bos. I'll stay in here with you, but remember, no snoring."
Faith laid down on top of the covers, and stared up at the ceiling.
"Do you have enough room? You can move closer to me Faith. I don't bite."
"I'm fine Bosco."
Within minutes they were fast asleep.
The pain woke Bosco in the morning. When he opened his eyes Faith was still sleeping beside him. He tried not to wake her as he pushed himself off the bed. She didn't even stir. Bosco rubbed his hand over his face in an attempt to wake himself up more. He went into the kitchen for something to drink.
He cursed softly as he ran into the coffee table. He still felt pretty wiped out from the surgery. Bosco poured himself a glass of orange juice. Then he undid the Velcro around his wrist, and let his left arm hang at his side. His elbow was stiff and he needed to move it. Unconsciously he began to rub his aching shoulder, and he thought back to the morning of the shooting.
Bosco reached up, and grabbed his gun from the top of the refrigerator. He always kept one of his guns there. Some cop in some movie he saw a long time ago had kept his gun on top of the fridge; Bosco figured it was a safe place.
He looked at the gun, and took it over to the kitchen table. He sat staring at it. The smooth silver barrel with its black inlay handle. It was polished and oiled to perfection. He remembered once when Faith had said he treated his gun better than his girlfriend. She must have been right because he still had the gun, but didn't have a girlfriend.
He thought again about that morning and how scared he was. Scared for his safety as well as Faith's. He remembered praying to God. But most of all he remembered the look on Faith's face when she walked in and found him with his gun in his mouth.
Then he thought about later that day. When he was shot. The pain. The fear. He remembered how afraid he was to die, but couldn't understand it because just hours before he had planned to take his own life.
Bosco rested his finger on the trigger as he remembered his stay in the hospital, and how his mom had come to visit. His eyes were full of tears as he thought about how much he wanted his mother to love him, and to be proud of him.
He thought about the physical pain that he was feeling, and about the pain that was in store for him during his recovery. He thought about the fact that if the muscles in his shoulder and chest didn't heal properly he would no longer be a cop.
He stared at the gun in his hand. His finger on the trigger.
Then a hand covered his, and slowly pulled the gun away. "Bos?" Her voice was angelic.
Bosco looked up and met Faith's concerned eyes. "I was just thinking Faith," he whispered. "Honest."
She took the gun from him, and pulled out the clip before laying it on the table. "What were you thinking about?"
He wiped his forehead with the back of his wrist, and sighed heavily. "Ma…you…that day," he shook his head to clear it. "The future."
"You know Bosco, you can tell me anything. Anything at all."
He nodded nervously before looking down at the table. "That day. I didn't want to die," he looked at her. "Funny huh? This coming from a guy who was one second away from pulling the trigger to end it all. The guy who has no sympathy for people who commit suicide, and thinks they're all just being selfish." He kept shaking his head, and rubbing his face.
"I see it now though Faith. You know…why people do it. I understand it. That morning I really thought I was doing the right thing…I did. I really thought it was the right thing to do."
"Why Bos? What was so terrible that you wouldn't let us help?" She asked softly.
"I couldn't—couldn't let you get hurt because of me. You were in danger because of me. I couldn't let you get hurt," he said quickly his words rushing together as his voice broke. He looked into her eyes. "But then—then I saw the look on your face when you came in the room, and I-I realized that what I was doing, what I was trying to do would hurt you, and *I* would be the one hurting you."
Faith didn't know what to say.
"I'm sorry Faith. I'm sorry," he hung his head. "God I'm sorry."
She leaned across the table, and lifted his chin. "Look at me." He looked defeated, and ashamed. "I don't agree with what you were going to do, but I know if you were driven to that point things were really bad." She took a deep breath. "I'm just so glad you're still here…Bos, I'll never be able to forget what I saw that morning, but it doesn't mean I love you any less."
He nodded, his lips pressed tightly together. "So when I'm healthy enough to go back to work we still gonna be partners?"
"Absolutely."
They sat at the table for a short time. Neither of them saying a word. Just collecting their thoughts.
Bosco looked at her; a cocky smile on his face. "So you really kicked the shit out of Skaget?"
She smiled. "Like someone once said 'paybacks are a bitch'."
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So what'd ya think?