When John Paul first met Craig he knew he'd found a friend. He'd found someone like himself, someone who didn't quite fit in, wasn't part of the "in" crowd. John Paul hoped this would be a friendship that would last.

When John Paul first met Hannah he thought she was pretty. She was shy and hidden under the shadow of her louder, more confident friends. John Paul could relate to that, he felt much the same way when compared to his sisters.

When John Paul first kissed Hannah he thought it was nice. Her kiss was soft and gentle, a little timid. She was as inexperience as he was and it felt good to share this intimacy with her. And if he happened to be thinking of Craig when he kissed her was that really such a bad thing? It was probably just that he knew he would be talking things over with his friend later.

When John Paul first made love to Hannah he knew it was something he should never have done. His body had responded to her touch, but his heart and soul weren't any part of the experience. When he held her afterwards he thought his heart would break. He thought of Craig and knew what it was he really wanted.

When John Paul told Craig that he was in love with him he felt like he could finally breathe. The secret that had been suffocation John Paul for all these weeks had been lifted. But Craig's blank, unresponsive stare made John Paul regret his decision. He was consumed with a dread that he had lost the most important friendship of his life.

When John Paul offered to leave, to keep away from Craig forever, Craig had told him to stay, had told him that he didn't want to lose their friendship. John Paul had promised to forget his feelings for Craig. They had both known that wasn't really possible.

When John Paul first kissed Craig he knew what it was he had been missing. The taste of Craig made him feel alive and when Craig kissed him back he was finally complete.

When John Paul first made love to Craig he knew it was right. He knew who he was and what he was and he knew that he had found the one person who could make those things OK. When he held Craig afterwards his heart was filled with joy. He was with Craig and that is what he really wanted.