Disclaimer: I own nothing in this little ficlet but my creativity and imagination. I just borrowed the characters. I'll put them back in the toybox once I'm done, I promise! They won't even be broken like all of my toys! Please don't sue me, I've been really good this year, and Santa might bring me tix to a Broadway musical. I can't lose those!!!
Zoisite's Revenge
Zoisite sighed. Gods, he was tired. Too much to do, and not nearly enough time. He hadn't slept for the past three days. He propped his head up on his hand, resting his elbow on his desk. He had to find some way to get those crystals from Tuxedo Kamen. Beryl was becoming impatient.
He sighed again. If only those damned senshi didn't keep getting in the way... He paused. Perhaps he could use the senshi to his advantage...
Before Zoisite could finish the thought, he was asleep.
Kunzite returned to Zoisite's chamber, expecting to see the younger man still hard at work on a plan to capture the remaining nijizuishou.
He had an idea, although not much of one. He wasn't even sure Zoisite would go for it. His plan was more than a little humiliating. He glanced around the room, spotting Zoisite sitting at his desk, head propped up on one hand.
"Zoisite," he said, not noticing at first that the other man didn't even stir. "I..." Kunzite trailed off, finally registering that Zoisite hadn't looked up. He stepped closer to the copper-haired man, noting the closed eyes and the deep, even breathing that meant he was probably asleep. He rested a hand on Zoisite's shoulder, shaking him gently to wake him.
The hand holding Zoisite's head up curled into a fist and snapped towards Kunzite's face. He caught it, but didn't notice the small man's second fist until it had already connected with his lower stomach. Kunzite doubled over, clutching his abdomen.
Zoisite blinked for a moment at the man doubled over before him. He shook his head, trying to clear his sleep fogged brain. Gaze resting on the man once more, his eyes widened, as he realized that the poor soul kneeling on the floor, clutching his lower belly, was Kunzite.
"Kunzite, what happened?"
The older man laughed weakly at his lover's confusion. "It appears I have yet to learn that art of waking you up without bodily injury." He smiled wryly. Zoisite helped him to his feet. "I was going to help you with your nijiziushou problem, but..."
Zoisite's eyes widened in hope. He was desperate. He knew he'd had some thought earlier, before his nap, concerning that whiner, Sailor Moon, but he didn't seem able to remember.
Kunzite smiled. "Here's my idea..."
"YOU WANT ME TO WHAT!?!?"
Kunzite winced. He'd expected this reaction, but this was a little excessive.
"No way! No friggin' way!" Zoisite paused for air. "Sailor MOON!" He narrowed his eyes, glaring at his lover. "I wish I had hit you lower."
Kunzite raised one eyebrow. "I'm hurt."
"Not yet, you're not!" Zoisite's fingers curled into fists, and hurtled toward and area Kunzite particularly did not want to be injured. He grabbed Zoisite's wrists, twisting the younger man's arms behind his back and holding him there so he couldn't do any damage.
"Do you really want to do that?" Kunzite asked softly. He released Zoisite's wrists, watching as he dropped onto his bed, curling his knees up so they touched his chest. The younger man regarded him thoughtfully, but made no response. Kunzite sighed. "Do you have any better ideas?"
"No, but my answer remains the same: Not a chance of a snowflake under Beryl's ass."
"How in the name of all that is or is not holy did I let you talk me into this?" Zoisite peered down at his fuku-clad figure and scowled. 'Sailor Moon,' he thought. 'Gods, I even have those ridiculous buns!'
"You didn't," Kunzite reminded him. "I ordered you." The older man slid his arms around Zoisite's waist. "But you still look cute."
"You would think that," Zoisite muttered, voice muffled in the material of Kunzite's uniform. "You don't have to wear it."
Kunzite pulled back a little. "Remember," he said sternly. "You have to act at least a little like a senshi." He smirked. "No fidgeting with the skirt or the ribbons."
"Like a senshi, hmm?" Zoisite asked silkily. He brought his knee up hard into Kunzite's groin. "You'll be sleeping alone until this nightmare is over, then. Senshi don't sleep with kings from the Dark Kingdom."
Finis.