A/N: Thanks to all for your support and kind suggestions during this story! This has been one of my favorite stories to write, and my longest! I'll start up a sequel probably soon, so look out for that. Thanks again for reading, and for your reviews: ) - and thanks Emily for reviewing!! I've been missing your multi-paragraph reviews, hahaha.
The next day, the family slept in late because of the trying day they'd had the day before. Predictably, Carly was the first up, who in turn woke up her parents by crawling up onto their bed. Nick gave his wife a kiss and told her to sleep in longer while he took care of Carly. The kindergartener was thrilled to get to spend time alone with her daddy, which she got to do a little less these days. He carried her down the stairs and deposited her on the kitchen counter so he could start some coffee and fix her breakfast.
"Did you have any dreams last night?" Nick asked his middle child as filled coffee pot with water.
Carly swung her feet. "Uh-uh. I didn't have any dreams last night."
"No dreams?" Nick mocked surprised.
"I can't have a dream every night, Daddy." She told him matter-of-factly. Carly knew her father enjoyed hearing about her dreams, but she couldn't please him every morning with a new story!
Her father laughed and walked over to her, planting a kiss on top of her head. "I know, sweet pea." He assured her. "Do you want Cheerios or Rice Krispies today?"
"Cheerios, please." She told him. Nick began pouring his daughter a bowl of Cheerios, and was taking them over to the kitchen table while he carried Carly, when he heard movement towards the back of the house. The creature lazily padded towards the bathroom and let out an audible yawn.
Riley emerged a couple minutes later, while Nick stirred the cream into his coffee. The rough night she'd had was evident in her face, her hair, and the way she carried herself. He was slightly surprised when she stopped next to him, and leaned into his side. Nick wrapped his free arm around her and kissed her head.
"Morning, sunshine." He told her.
"Hi." She croaked sleepily, and then moved to wrap her arms around him completely. Nick smiled at the fact she was initiating real hugs with him now. He put down his spoon and enveloped her in a warm, fatherly cuddle.
"You sleep okay?"
"Mmmhmm. I still feel sleepy though." The teen confessed.
"Well, maybe later you can take a nap."
Riley chuckled a little. A nap sounded like a good plan for later in the day. She sighed a little sadly when she remembered they still needed to have a little chat today. "Are you still mad at me?"
Nick pulled back a little to look at his daughter's face. "I'm not mad, Ry, but we do still need to talk."
Riley sighed and nodded, then leaned back into his hug. "Can't we skip that part?"
Nick smirked and kissed the top of her head. "I'm afraid not. But I think since you're having a good attitude about it, that'll help." He pointed out the way she was handling things. She didn't have any mouthy comebacks, just a little joke about wanting to skip her inevitable lecture. That was a big step for her, he thought.
"Good. Just don't tell my friends."
He laughed as he let her go and picked up his mug. "I promise I won't tell."
CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI
One week later, Riley was lying on top of her comforter on her bed in the evening, just thinking about her life. Was she beginning to like living with the Stokes? Earlier, at dinner, they were all talking and joking around, laughing. Riley realized how much she liked that, compared to eating TV dinners on the couch with her mother and stepfather. It was probably at the dinner table where Riley learned the most about her father and her new family. They shared about what they did during the day, funny things that had happened, and even neat things they'd seen on TV. No matter what, it seemed, they always had time to sit down and eat as a family. Though she hated having to suffer through sitting with them for a half hour before, Riley found herself actually looking forward to dinner time each day. And breakfast, for that matter to. It was nice to be asked how she slept, and to share any dreams she had, while sleepily eating her Cheerios. Was this what real families did? Was she part of a real family?
Once she had finally started getting used to their way of life, Riley decided she did enjoy living with them. Sure, they were hard asses sometimes, but they were because they didn't want her to get hurt. That didn't mean that Riley would never act up again. She was thirteen years old, and in her blood to test the limits on occasion. It made her feel safe and secure that Nick got on her case about homework, and coming home for curfew, and the friends she kept. She liked that Sara flat-out told her that her three "friends" weren't really her friends if they just showed up when they knew she was grounded, and smoked in her backyard. Riley was now being supervised for the first time in her life, and it was keeping her out of trouble.
Now that she had gotten away from the environment she'd grown up in, she realized how hard it had been. It was good in some ways – it's always hard to label something as a completely bad experience. Her mother did love her, though she didn't know how to show it in appropriate ways. Her stepfather probably loved her deep down, but in a totally unacceptable way. How could you say you loved someone, and then cause her so much harm? Whenever Riley thought about what he'd done, it was hard not to cry. And what was even worse was that her mother was too caught up with herself to notice. She tried to hint at it, but her mother just didn't get it. Riley didn't want to ruin her mother's life by confessing that her husband had been molesting her. Her mother would probably never forgive her. She'd say that she should've done more to stop it, and she was asking for it with the way she dressed. Now that she was safe with the Stokes, it was okay to grieve that time in her life. And maybe it was okay to talk about it.
Sara came into the teenager's room a few minutes later, about to go upstairs to bed herself. She and Nick checked on her quite a bit, especially when she was grounded like she was now. Crossing the room, she smiled down at her daughter, and then sat down on her bed.
"I just thought I'd check on you before I went up to bed." She told Riley, reaching out to play with a piece of her hair.
Riley nodded her head and looked up at her stepmother. She had vague information that Sara had once been through some traumatic experiences with her parents. Would she understand what she had been through? Riley must have looked like she was on the verge of speaking.
"You okay?" Sara asked her. "You look like you were about to ask a question."
Riley closed her mouth and studied her face. Sara had never done her any wrong. She'd always looked out for her and invited her into this family. Riley swallowed and took a deep breath.
"I want to tell you something." The foreboding statement lingered in the air. Sara felt like a kid at a campfire, about to be told a story. However, she sensed that this story would be hard for Riley to tell, and would be a far cry from a campground tale. This was going to be a story about her life, which Nick and Sara both sensed had been quite rough until now.
Sara studied her and nodded. "Okay." She agreed softly. "What would you like to tell me about?"
Riley breathed in and out a cleansing breath, and closed her eyes for a moment. There would be no going back after this.
"My stepdad." She started simply, beginning to fiddle with the bracelet on her arm nervously. Sara nodded and waited for Riley to continue. She definitely didn't want to force her unnecessarily; because it was important Riley finally got this out in the open so she could be helped.
"He…I didn't like the way he treated me sometimes." Riley told her, and waited, because she wanted Sara's help with this. She wasn't sure how much to share, and how much Sara wanted to know. Riley wanted Sara to direct the conversation. Sara began to sense this, and took a gentle lead.
"I got the sense you didn't like him very much." Sara acknowledged. "What didn't you like about the way he treated you?"
Riley started off with the small stuff. "He'd yell at me a lot, and I'd get in trouble for the littlest things with him. And my mom never stuck up for me. He was just mean to me."
They had only just scratched the surface, Sara knew. Part of her didn't want Riley to continue, but the mother and the CSI in her knew it needed out.
"So you don't think he like you very much?" Sara guessed.
"No, he didn't." A deep breath. "Not in the right ways, at least."
The kid looked like she wanted to continue, but needed a little push.
"And what do you mean by not in the right ways?" Sara asked her gently, and reached over to take her hand. Riley watched Sara's hand softly stroking hers, and saw so much love. What would she be like if she'd had this love all her life? None of this would have happened.
"I don't know." Riley shrugged, and then cursed herself for not telling Sara the truth.
Sara waited a few moments as she rubbed her hand. "I think you do, Riley. But I know it's hard." Sara acknowledged, her heart breaking for the young girl. She hated cases that involved child abuse, and here was one that touched her life directly. Sara was going to do everything she could to help her.
"Yeah." She whispered as she shifted a little on her bed, and seemed a little reluctant. Sara decided to take a chance and share a bit about her childhood, in hopes it would get Riley to open up.
"You know, when I was a kid, my dad and I didn't get along." She started, and noticed that Riley looked a little relieved that the attention was away from her momentarily. "And not just because I didn't clean my room sometimes, or he was too strict, like most kids complain about. My dad was physically abusive towards me."
Riley studied her stepmother, bud didn't say anything, anxious for her to continue. She was an outstanding, successful adult, and she'd come from a tough background?
"It started off with him mostly yelling and putting down my mother, but then as I got older it shifted to me. And he started abusing us both." Sara was surprised how easy and natural it seemed to share this with Riley. It seemed they had a special connection, though a dire one. "He'd hit us. All over, and push us around. Most of the time it was something stupid that would set him off, like my mom cooked the wrong thing for dinner, or he didn't like the way I looked at him. But when he got angry, there was no controlling him. My mom couldn't do it, and I sure as hell couldn't."
"What did she do?" Riley asked, wondering if her mother was similar to Sara's.
"Well, when I was a bit younger than you, she finally had enough and took things into her own hands. She killed my father." Sara didn't want to go into the details, both for Riley's sake and her own sanity. It wasn't pleasant to recall the details.
Wow, Riley thought. Sara's mom actually had some guts, unlike her own. She was in tune with her daughter and at least knew what was going on. "Did she have to go to jail?"
"For a little while." She nodded. "It was ruled in self-defense, but I was in foster care most of my teen years. Life was hard for a while, but I'm okay now because I went through some counseling and I've had some great people in my life. One of them, your father."
Sara hoped that this would cue Riley in that getting help wasn't a weak thing to do; that it helped you heal and move on. Riley looked like she was ready to open up again now and tell Sara what had really happened.
"Do you think you're ready to tell me more about your stepfather?" Sara gently prompted her, cocking her head to the side a little to look at the girl. Riley paused for a few moments, but then shook her head yes.
"Yeah. I think so." She told her stepmother.
"Take a deep breath, and take your time." Sara told her, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. Riley squeezed back and did as Sara instructed her.
"It started off that he looked at me funny." She began shakily. "You know? Like looking me in a really weird way. Not like a father's supposed to look at his daughter."
"I understand." Sara nodded, encouraging her to continue.
"It was when I started…uh, developing a little." She told Sara a bit uncomfortably. "And then one time he saw me in a bathing suit, and I just didn't like the look on his face." Riley bit back a few tears, but knew now that she needed to continue.
"Then, he would kind of start touching me, like, put his hand on my side or my hip, and patting my bottom a little. It felt weird…different, and I didn't like it. I wished my mom would notice, but she didn't.
"When I was twelve, that's when it started getting really bad. He started touching me where people aren't supposed to touch you. Well, not until you're older anyway, and not by your stepdad."
Sara nodded. "Where did he touch you, sweetie?" She asked very softly.
Riley let out a shuddering breath. "Uh…where you bathing suit covers you up." She explained, uncomfortable with talking about her body. Sara nodded in understanding and rubbed the top of her hand.
"And how often did this happen?" She gently probed.
Riley wiped at her eyes and thought. "Maybe once or twice a month."
"Baby, I'm so sorry." She told her sympathetically. "No one should ever have to go through that, and he was wrong." She raised her eyebrows in seriousness.
Riley got teary eyed now, because she was sure Sara would think she was stupid for not telling anyone. "And I know I should've told, but I don't think my mom would believe me, and I was just scared. And he told me not to because I'd get in trouble…"
"Riley, it's okay." Sara assured her. "He made you think it was wrong to tell, and I'm sorry you didn't feel like you could go to your mom. But I'm glad you told me, because now I can help."
Riley nodded her head, but her face contorted as she began to cry. It had been painful to recall, but she also felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She'd told somebody. She'd finally told somebody. It felt relieving to know that someone else was aware of her past now. Now she didn't have a deep, dark secret that no one knew about. One person knew, and she could sense deep down that she'd picked the right person to tell.
Sara gently guided Riley to sit up so she could envelope her in a hug. Riley wrapped her arms around Sara's neck and cried into it. She was shaking a little bit, partly out of the fear she'd just experienced while recounting the events, but mostly because she was thankful it was out. It was kind of like that feeling she got after finishing a big test she'd been worried about, but way better.
The teen concentrated on the lulling effect of Sara's hand stroking her back. A good touch, she remembered from the video they'd been shown in kindergarten. Plus, it just felt right. It felt nice to have Sara comforting her, and that she'd listened to her. She wished her mother would've been this understanding, but was thankful she now had Sara. Though the whole ordeal of her mother dying and having to move here had been awful, but it was turning out to be not entirely bad. She missed her mom. She'd always miss her mom. But that didn't mean she had to spend her whole life pushing other people away. Perfectly good, wonderful, amazing people like Sara and Nick were in her life now. She was experiencing a love like she never knew even existed, and it felt good. Really good.
After a good few minutes, Riley finally pulled away slightly and looked into Sara's face. She was a wonderful mother, and would be an amazing stepmother if Riley let her in more. Sara wiped some tears from under her stepdaughter's eyes and then kissed her forehead.
"Let's get you tucked in." She suggested in such a caring voice. Riley smiled a little and nodded, moving her body as Sara stood to get under the covers. Sara pulled the sheets back and let Riley climb in. Riley beamed up at Sara as she leaned down to give her a final kiss on the forehead.
"I love you, Riley. And we can talk anytime you need to." She whispered. "And I hope you know it doesn't have to be about just serious stuff. The funny, happy stuff too." She smiled.
Riley agreed and nodded up at her. "I will. I promise."
Sara smiled serenely and then reached over to her bedside lamp to turn it off. She walked to the door and put her finger on the light switch, looking back at her daughter.
"Sara? I love you too." Riley told her. "I forgot to say that."
A touched smile peaked onto Sara's gentle face. "Thanks, sweetheart. I love you."
Then Sara turned off the light and closed the door as Riley turned over on her side. She walked up the stairs with a smile on her face to join her husband in bed. He was probably wondering what had happened to her down there. She'd gone to say goodnight to Riley almost half an hour ago.
Nick looked up from the book he was reading to watch his wife as she got her pajamas out of the dresser and began to change. She looked – at ease; at peace; like something big had just been chipped away. Immediately he knew – she'd talked to Riley, and she'd opened up.
"What did she say?" He asked her as she guided her tank top over her stomach. Sara turned as she freed her hair from where it got caught in the straps on its way over her shoulders.
"She finally told me about what her stepfather did." Sara told him as she kicked off her jeans and then climbed into bed next to him. Nick opened his right arm so she could snuggle in, marked his page, and set the book on the nightstand. He rubbed her bare arm as she settled in.
"Well, good. Can you tell me, or did she not want you to?" Nick asked, not wanting to stick his nose where Riley didn't want him just yet.
"No, I think she'd be okay with it. It was hard enough telling me, I think." Sara confessed to her husband. "It was mostly touching, from what I gathered. No intercourse, but the touching's bad enough."
Nick sighed and nodded. "Good thing the guy's dead, because I'd kill him myself." He declared, as he pulled Sara a little tighter. Nick was so insanely protective of all his children, and it bothered him that he hadn't been able to be there when Riley needed him most. He knew he had no control over it at the time, but as her father, he still felt guilty. Now was not the time for his anger to take over. Right now, Riley would need his strength and support to work through her issues and demons of the past.
"I think we should definitely put her in some type of counseling." Sara suggested as they lay in each other's arms. "She can't keep all this inside, and I know I found it easier sometimes to talk to another adult."
Nick looked down at Sara. "Yeah? I think we should too." He agreed. "But I bet you'll be a lot of help to her too, with what you went through."
Over the years, Nick had learned bit by bit some of the things she'd gone through during her childhood. It had been a horrific experience, and he was in awe that she'd risen all above that, and become an upstanding citizen, person, wife, and mother. She was amazing, and now he knew she'd use that experience to help their daughter.
"Mmmhmmm. I'll help her the best I can." Sara promised. Nick kissed her head one last time as they settled in to each other for the night. They made a good team, Nick thought, and he couldn't imagine spending his life with anyone but her. Was it ironic that someone else, someone who meant less to him, had given him one of the greatest gifts of his life – his daughter Riley? Nick decided to push that thought aside and closed his eyes. Tomorrow, everything would be different.