Dear Readers,

This is a poem I wrote today. I was sitting in the school chapel, listening to Narnia music and meditating on what to write (I like writing in places like that, with music playing--I find myself more connected to God that way), when this came to me. The words just flowed, with me hardly thinking about what to write next. Divine inspiration? Say what you like, but I believe that that's what it was. It's a very Easter-themed poem...as you'll see. It may be hard to understand; I'm not really sure--I understand it, but that's because I wrote it. It might be more effective to read it more than once. A lot of the stuff in it are not my own ideas--they were inspired by my pastor's sermons, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, William Wordsworth (and the rest of those Romantic poets), the Psalms, Jesus' parables, etc. It just all came together in that one moment. The title...it makes more sense when you read it, and if you have a good knowledge of the Gospels. Be warned--one of the reasons it may not make a lot of sense at first is because it's loaded with paradoxes (thanks to the influence of the Romantic poets!!) So, just keep that in mind, and I think anyone can figure it out. Please review, I appreciate feedback. If you have any questions, also feel free to ask in your review or by PM-ing me. I just want to make sure people understand this--or else there was no point in my writing it. God bless, and Happy Easter!

Best Regards from a Bookworm,

Miss Pookamonga ;-P

"Why is tonight different from any other night?"

"Because once we were slaves, and now we are free." --taken from an old Jewish Passover tradition

Redemption

Let my heart not stray from You

To run free from my bondage would only imprison me

There is no hope for me in chains

From whence should I gain help?

Running will place me

Where I am small

And rather than be enveloped in Your Love

I would be isolated

Nothing would consume me

With its Emptiness

Vacant would the space be

Lost, full of Emptiness

I would have no hope, nowhere to run.

Nowhere to hide

From the dark void that threatens

To swallow me whole

In its vacuum of existence

Yet I still run

Away from You

Why?

I ran from the light that makes me feel

My Being

That fulfills me

I run from the Water that drenches me,

Drowns me in its Life

From the fields and the flowers

From the eternal celebration of blossoming

I run to the cliff

I plunge over

Falling downward

Spiraling

To the dark Ocean below

There the water chokes my life

Extinguishes my Light

There, I cannot drink it

Though it be everywhere

I yearn for it

I look up from beneath

And see the Surface

Flowing, flickering slivers of silver, golden Light

I flail

Reach toward it

But farther I fall

The thin sheet of waving glass above me

Separates me from You

From my True Self

Where am I to go?

This Ocean is a Desert

Empty and dark

I see the Light

But can have none.

I feel like a grain of sand

Lost beneath the churning waves

Blown across the endless dunes

Of Conformity

The Light is fading

The Darkness is encroaching upon me

Save me!

You, who Love me though I ran

You, whose Light ever shines for me

Though I shield myself from it

Deny that it is there

Deny that it exists

When it does not exist,

But IS

I am small compared to the Sun

To the Sea

To the Wood

To the Vastness that You Are

Bur You do not swallow me

You wrap Yourself around me

You grab me, imprison me in Your Grasp

So tightly that I can never escape

Never let me go

Ever

You never do.

I pull, I struggle, I scream

I kick, I try to get away

I plunge myself into turmoil

But You hold me only more tightly.

When I see that I am drowning

Starving myself

I cry for You

The false gifts float before me and

Mock me

Mirages in the dust

Illusions in the heat of my delusion

My cries meet Emptiness

They fill with cold water

That I cannot drink

But still, You hear me

And You run

Towards me,

I, who ran from you

You dive off that cliff

You race into that Desert

You plunge into that Ocean

Descending the Depths to find me

And You search

You listen intently to my helpless voice

When I ignored Yours, calling for me.

You push deeper and farther

Until You find me

You grab me once more,

In that Grip that never had let me go

And you pull me to the Surface

You carry me to the Oasis.

But all the while, Your candle was burning

The flame never ceasing

Until the fire has worn its way to the bottom

And in a whiff

You were no more but smoke.

O, Spot of Time

When You saw me for me

I lamented the loss

Of You, falling

Lifeless

Below the pillars beneath the ground.

Where did you go?

You have left me to find me

No, to help me find myself.

You gave Your Light

To my extinguished Lamp

So that I might shine.

You were gone

But, how can You be?

Even when I drowned in Nothingness,

You were still drowning me in Your Life

Because the Sun still shines above

The Desert

And The Ocean

So, in Your Absence

You are Present

Still encompassing us

Although we could not see.

Then, in a burst of Power

Something

Great

Beautiful

Out of the Dark

Appeared a flickering Light

Growing ever stronger

Carrying the Light needed for us to Live

More than enough to sustain us.

We cry for joy

For the Light blinds us

We are in the bliss of Blindness

Through which we can see

You take the Light and light our candles

You draw Water for us to drink

In extinguishing Yourself,

The Light now shines ever stronger

For more to draw upon

To light the Way for many.

Past, Present, Future

They are all One

The Act never ends

Continuing for me, the soul that strayed

For us, who have drowned ourselves

In the Desert

Time matters not

In the Gulf of Your Love

You never began

Nor will You end

Your arms were always around us

And forever will be.

The Light is always there

Glowing stark white against the Darkness

Shutting it out.

Why should I run from You?

Why did I push You away

Say I wished You were dead?

Then You died

To bring the Light back to me.

Why? I will always ask

Why for me

The one who ran

Who ignored Your Voice

Who ran from Your Gaze

Thrashed in Your Arms

Why bring it to me?

Why listen to my Evil Demand?

I left You alone

Not You to me

You were always there.

And I cry for guilt

For Wanting the answer

Why save me?

I know I asked

And I am always asking

And You are always listening to my pleas

Saving me from bringing about

My own Death

From throwing away

My feather-light heart

Reviving me

At Your own cost.

But You stop me

Push me into the Light

Willing me to walk forward

Why?

You hold my hand

Guide me, though I cry.

Erase my guilt

Love me

Encompass me in the Open Space

Where I am but a grain of sand

But one that will foster a flower

One that You watch endlessly

Day and Night

And though I am small

When I run to You

Here, I have Something

Something surrounds me, protects me

I am alone

But together

One with You

And in my losing myself

I am found

In You.