A/N: I'm not sure of the spelling of Tony's girlfriend's name, I am spelling it Joan. Happy reading.

A/N 2: This episode made me cry so hard, I was just sobbing, my sister thought I was nuts. So of course, I had to write about it.

McGee told me something once.

Something Kate had said.

That we are NCIS agents

That we might die any time we walk out the door.

It's true, I know it.

First Kate proved it, then Paula.

It isn't supposed to be like this.

These women I care for,

They all seem to die.

Ari stole Kate.

She never had a choice.

Paula, she did what was right.

She believed in the Cleriks she saved.

She believed that they would help bring peace.

Both of them were my friends.

Both of them, I cared for.

It seems as though it follows me.

That any woman a care for is marked for death.

Who is next?

Abby?

Ziva?

Joan?

Joan.

Paula told me to tell her.

That I had to tell her I loved her before it was too late.

It took Paula dying to make me realize.

To realize that tomorrow may be too late.

But by telling her I love her I am saying I care.

And by caring, aren't I condemning her to die as well?