--Switch--

Phase II: Watery crisis

—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—

Naruto frowned, carefully rubbing off the aching lump on the back of his head that he got earlier on his little 'tour' along the hospital's restroom. He perked a sidelong glance at the infuriated kunoichi, at least an arm's length of distance between them.

'Damned bitch…' Half-heartedly cursed by the orange-clad as he subtly watched Ino's face formed various infuriated faces.

Naruto sighed…deeply.

He really didn't do it on purposed— seeing her panties and her umm/cough/ I mean….

It was purely unintentional!

The poor blond was on the verge of 'giving tributes to the porcelain god' for goodness sake! so its only natural for the guy to rush down to the nearest bathroom right? right!?

Riiiiiight….

However, when you're a guy, who's unfortunately (or is it fortunately?) trapped in a girl's body and entered the men's restroom in your impermanent feminine body with dozens of hormonally untamed males using the lavatory … you're just asking for one thing,

Trouble!

And when I say trouble, I mean, really BIG trouble (with a whopping, standing tall, capital T!!)

It really sucks to be the genuie pig of the gods isn't it?

And unfortunately for our favorite blond head, he experienced it first hand…

Ahem! Back to our story… not so long ago, Naruto was running towards the toilet, clutching his not so seemingly crotch in a hysterical fits of agony and accidentally entered the men's restroom.

Bad idea…

Concentrated on doing his personal watery business, Naruto didn't noticed that all of the eyes on the room practically popped out of their respective sockets (not to mention that every hormonal gauge of all male species within that room rose up a notch)

It would be an understatement to say that the guys that are currently using the toilet were awestruck (and would definitely need a jaw surgery) when a blond goddess entered the premises.

W-Wait, blond goddess? That would be a first…

Naruto, who's trapped in Ino's body, ran into one of those wall-hanging urinals that are only exclusive for males and well— tried to put his 'tools of reproduction' in one of those urinating contraption…well, almost.

The blond genin tried to find a zipper but to his utmost dismal (and absolute embarrassment,) there was no zigzagging contrivance in his jeans.

Widening his eyes on pure disbelief, cold sweat past down on his neck as if Orochimaru licked it with his snake-like tongue.

And that's a pretty disturbing sensation isn't it? Heck, only looking to Orochimaru makes you shiver much more be licked by him. It feels as though a preordained doom is about to happen to you and you didn't have a goddamn choice but to face it.

"Oh shit! I forgot that I'm in Ino's body…" Naruto cursed under his breath, slapping his forehead.

Little that he'd known, Ino was in hot pursuit from behind. When she heard his proclamation of 'PEEndependence' her heartbeat skip a beat and before she ever noticed it, Ino was already standing at the doorsteps of men's restroom.

The female blond tried to clutch the doorknob but her inner femininity keeps reminding herself that the males' lavatory is a no mans' zone when it comes to the descendants of Eve.

However, Ino concluded that if her unstained body is on the line,

Her femininity can practically rot in hell…

And hell would definitely show its scorching fury on the unlucky person whose dumb enough to mess with her precious body.

And besides, Ino is supposedly a male now because she is trapped in Naruto's body so its only okay for her to enter such bland room right?

Still, she would definitely remember such vulgar act for the rest of her eccentric life.

Grabbing the doorknob once again, Ino straightened up her resolve and with a gulp, she opened the impenetrable door that binds the ungodly realm of manliness.

"I feel so violated…" Ino silently muttered after she took a first step into the infamous domain of masculinity. The room was far more cluttered than the 'females side of the paradise' Ino observed with her analytical eye.

Ino scanned the area like a famished hyena in search of the guy who snatched her body. Her eyes landed on a blond figure and both her brows twitched dangerously when she noticed that Naruto is about to do the unthinkable.

"B-BAAAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ino screamed deafeningly, sprinting towards Naruto in a slow-motion pace. She delivered a thunderous punch on the apex of his head and with a thump, the orange-clad ninja was about to fell on the floor but the fuming kunoichi instantly grabbed him by his neck and pummeled him into the wall.

"What the FUCKING hell are you doing?" She demanded with an eerily calm voice while her lips was formed into a sadistic grin that can single handedly put the infamous Kyuubi no Youko's trademark grin into shame.

"Me! uhh—I mean, I-Ino! w-what a sup-surprise!" Naruto stammered, avoiding an eye contact.

"D-Did you also come here to p-pee?" He inquired lamely.

A vein on her forehead snapped.

Oh my…

She heaved her fist tightly while gritting her teeth. "You…" She eerily started. "DISGRACEFUL PEVERTED IDIOT!!! HOW DARE YOU LAY A FINGER ON MY UNTAINTED BODY YOU ASS!!" She cursedly shouted, choking the living hell out of the poor genin.

Ino pulled him back to the room while clutching the rear of his t-shirts neckline, not even caring if the other patients eyed them skeptically.

"I-Ino, I've learned my—"

"Die!"

"Please—"

"Die!"

"Come'on Ino—"

"Die!"

She suddenly halted when they've reached the stairs. She looked down to her battered body (coz its her original body to begin with.) and her lips suddenly twist into a devious smirk.

"Oh n-no, not the stairs!" Naruto pleaded after he'd seen the thirteen ft. high staircase. "Anything but the stairs! That's cruel! Do you really want to torture me that much?"

Ino gave him a deadpanned 'I-don't-give-a-damn' glare.

"Come'on Ino, it's your body that you're messing with!" Naruto reasoned. "Do you really want to see your own body battered up and bruised? Its definitely gonna leave a mark when you drag me into the stairs…"

Silence was ensued for awhile while Ino digest the possibility of going back to a bruised body

(not to mention imperfect.) Her flawless physique is her prized possession after all so it's a 'no-no' if she got it bruised up just because of a silly orange-clad dead last.

After a moment of deliberating if he really deserved such forgiveness, Ino grabbed him by the waist and with a profound sigh, she gently placed his hand over her shoulders.

"Don't get any perverted ideas…" She muttered seriously. "I don't want to have blisters when I get back to my original body so be grateful that you're trapped in it, dead last…"

"Gee Ino, I didn't know you were this kind!" He commented with his trademark million-dollar grin after he turned his head to face her.

Real smooth Naruto, now you have a one-way ticket straight down to hell…

"I'll give you three seconds to shut the fuck up or you'll be buried six feet under." Her eyes sinisterly narrowed with a matching venomous expression.

"Yes ma'am…" Naruto replied like a five-year-old brat that is caught stealing a candy. "I'll shut up."

—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—

The bewitched duo had already returned to their respective quarters an hour ago. Unbelievably, the lovebirds are acting like two civilized human beings. It seems they have come to a conclusion to call it a truce and talked about the do's and don't concerning the feminine lifestyle.

"So what are you gonna say when someone asked you to a date?"

"Piss off bastard, you're annoying m—"

WHAM!

"Dammit Naruto! for the last time, no vulgar replies!" Retorted by the female blonde, fist clenched tightly. "You're gonna ruin my reputation if you continue to act like a bastard that you truly are…"

"Reputation?" Naruto gave her one of his best mock-smirk. "Do you even have one?" He added sarcastically.

"Helllooo?" Ino exasperatingly replied with an eyebrow raised. Then right at that moment, the room began to fade into a pitch-dark illumination with only a single spotlight aimed at a blond girl, posing as if she was a preeminent fashion model.

"Behold! the most gorgeous and fairest nin-goddess in Konoha!" Declared seductively by the self proclaimed Nin-Goddess, throwing a handful of confetti's into the air.

Naruto wore a deadpanned look on his face.

Silence.

Ino felt a little flustered with him staring at her. Her hands and legs are starting to get a little numb because she still hadn't stopped posing even after a minute had just passed.

"Well? Say something you jerk!"

If Ino was one her original body, that act would be quite splendid, but in Naruto's body?

We'd rather see Orochimaru join a swimsuit contest…

W-Wait, that would be too devastating (not to mention too hazardous,) forget what I said, I suggest that you won't even dare to imagine those kinds of things…

That would certainly shorten your lifespan by a quarter.

Ehem, Naruto, who finally awoken from his initial shock, look at her with arms on his mouth. "T-That was totally—" A lone snigger escaped from his mouth, and like a crack on a dam, his tiny fits of snigger suddenly exploded to a full-blown laughter. "Hahaha—Ino, t-that was totally—oh god, I cant stop! Hahahaha!" he then kneeled down (still laughing,) with his hands banging the floor continuously.

Ino sighed, putting a hand on her forehead. It was no use arguing with an idiot, he was just—

"Seriously Ino," Naruto stated, his mirth's of joy are starting to loose its intensity. "Confetti's? that was totally uncalled for!"

A vein popped in her forehead, but the yellow-haired kunoichi still held it in. Patience Ino, patience… she repeatedly muttered in her mind like a mantra that would repel her growing irritation.

"And the most beautiful Kunoichi? More like the bitchiest chick in town!"

Several nerves snapped whist her breathing exhilarates ominously. Patiencepatience… she still doing it, though in a faster pace unlike before.

"You? being a Nin Goddess? Hah! I'll find it more easy to believe that Itachi is really the tooth fairy than you being a Nin Goddess! "

Her teeth greeted and—is that a smoke coming out of Ino's ears?. PATIENCEPATIENCEPATIENCE!!!PATIEN—

"Sakura-chan's more suitable to become Konoha's goddess!"

Oh no, that certainly does it…

Readers, Naruto had just brought the apocalypse a century too early.

She can tolerate him mocking her hard work. She can tolerate his rude behavior. Heck, she can also tolerate him laughing at her (self proclaimed) titles, but there's one thing she couldn't tolerate…ever.

Be compared to her eternal rival…and lose.

Comparing Ino to Sakura was definitely the most stupidest thing Naruto had ever done to his life. It was an unwritten taboo just like the banning F word whenever Chouji's presence is near. The girl suddenly became silent—almost ominously silent. Naruto noticed this and shakes her shoulders.

"Ino? Hey Ino, are you alri…."

He never got the chance to finish his sentence when he caught a glimpse of her eyes. He shivered—a natural response as if you're anticipating a preordained calamity to come fort. Her eyes could equally marvel the eyes of Naruto in Kyuubi form.

Cold and dangerous.

"Uzumaki, Naruto…" Started eerily by a certain blonde in a glacial tone that can make Itachi whimper just by hearing it.

"C-Come on Ino, I-it was just a joke. I really didn't mean to—" He stopped and noticed a noxious aura emits out of the girl's body.

"I'm not going out of this alive am I?"

—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—

Tsunade, the well respected Godaime was now walking along the hospital's corridor. She left her office when a medical nin informed her about a certain blonde's accepted in the I.C.U due to a failed body-exchange ninjutsu execution. Apparently, they both got no physical injuries but something along their mind-set bothered the medic in charge.

Sighing, Tsunade decided to visit the two in their quarters. But upon opening the door, the scene unfolding in front of her wasn't quite what she predicted.

Heck, it didn't even occur to her that he would do such thing to her.

In front of her, lies a bruised "Ino," lying at the floor looking dead with "Naruto" atop of her, grabbing her neckline while his fist, raised as if gesturing to punch.

"NARUTO!" Shouted by the highest ranking ninja in Konoha. "Have you lost your mind!? Why are you pounding Yamanaka-san senseless!?"

Almost immediately, the two stiffened. Slowly turning their heads to meet a fuming Kage then turning back to face each other.

"We're so not going out of this alive…"

To be continued…