Title: Now I can never ever tell him
Rating: T (I think, I haven't really figured out the rating system yet but better to be on the safe side)
Pairings: SakurabaxShin
Spoilers: None really, yet anyway
Warnings: Yaoi? Umm...
Comments: Not really certain if I should continue this or not, but I just might because I feel so sorry for Sakuraba leaving it like this. Also, there's a huge lack of ShinxSakurabaxShin fics in existance so one more probably can't hurt :)

They were alone in the lockerroom after a long and intense practise. Even though he was really tired, Sakuraba felt content about finally having made a lot of progress. It was as though he got noticeably better after every practise and more in synch with his teammates. Today, even Shin had praised him about his progress which had felt more special than anything, especially because he knew that if Shin said he had gotten better, he really had. He would never say such a thing just to make Sakuraba feel better about himself, like Takami tended to do at times. He cast a glance over at Shin who was sitting on the bench next to the one he himself was sitting on, feeling a mild curiosity over why he hadn't gotten ready and left as quickly as he usually did. Shin appeared to be holding a small note in his hands, reading it over and over.

"Eh, what do you have there?" Sakuraba scooted over to Shin's bench and took a look at the note. It seemed to be a short love letter of some kind but it wasn't signed by anyone. Feeling a bit surprised, Sakuraba smiled and said "Oh it's a love letter! Who gave that to you?"

Shin looked up at Sakuraba with a slightly confused look on his face.

"The girl who interviewed me yesterday gave me this at the end of the interview. The one who interviewed one player from each team in preparation for the Kantou tournament. Sakuraba, what should I do with it?"

"Umm, I guess that depends on what you think about her, do you like her?"

Shin hesitated for a moment and somehow that made Sakuraba feel a bit uneasy, even though he was fairly sure Shin would say that he didn't.

"I don't know her" was Shin's reply.

"Yeah, I know, but… do you think you would like her? Do you think she is cute? Would you like to go out with her? That is probably what she wants to do, since she gave you that note."

Shin shrugged.

"I don't know what kind of person she is since I don't know her. Go out with her, what does that imply?" Sakuraba looked at the note again. It was written on pink paper with a purple pen and telling by how it was written, he was quite sure that this wasn't the kind of girl Shin would get along well with.

"Oh, just spend time together, talking to each other, kissing…" he replied. "Is that something you would like to do?"

"I don't know", Shin stated. "I have never kissed anyone so I don't know what it's like".

Sakuraba felt himself blushing slightly for some strange reason.

"So would you like to?" he said. "Kiss somebody?"

"I think so", Shin replied. "Since it's something I haven't done."

"But I really don't think you should go out with her just to get to kiss somebody" Sakuraba said quickly. "She might think that you like her and since there is a possibility that you won't like her, it would not be fair to her". He spoke a little louder than he had intended, but Shin didn't seem like he had noticed. Sakuraba wasn't exactly sure why, but he really didn't want Shin to go on a date with this girl. It wasn't just because he was afraid that she would get hurt since a lot of people went out with people that they didn't have strong feelings for just for the fun of it, and there was no real harm in that either. He was also quite certain that this girl didn't expect Shin to have fallen in love with her that quickly, she might not even be that serious about it herself.

"If you want to try to kiss somebody, you should kiss a girl who you know doesn't have any such feelings for you since then there is no risk that she would get hurt" he added, trying to get what he'd said earlier to make sense.

The door opened suddenly and a lady from the cleaning staff entered. Sakuraba and Shin hurriedly collected their things and made their way out of the gym and started walking their way home.

Sakuraba noticed Shin looking at him thoughtfully and felt himself hoping that he would agree to not go out with the girl. He wondered to himself what would happen if he did do it. He couldn't imagine Shin falling in love with anybody, but what if it did happen. He tried to picture Shin together with a girl, and felt a sudden tightness in his stomach. No, he really hoped that Shin wouldn't do it.

"Sakuraba…" Shin said and Sakuraba almost jumped, being immersed in thought. He looked at Shin who was still looking at him thoughtfully.

"Sakuraba, would it be okay if I kissed you?" Sakuraba let out a small gasp of surprise, not realizing that he'd been holding his breath.

"You said it would be best with someone I know doesn't like me in that way", Shin continued. "And I know that you don't because you're a guy. And if you did like me anyways, you would have told me."

Sakuraba felt himself blush wildly. "I guess you're right" he mumbled.

Shin suddenly took a different turn into an alleyway leading from the main street and Sakuraba followed. It had already become dark outside and there was a light rain, so there weren't many people out on the streets at the time and the alleyway itself was empty.

"Have you kissed anyone before?" Shin asked and Sakuraba shook his head, not certain of what it would sound like if he actually tried to speak. Shin stopped somewhere in the middle of the alleyway and turned his eyes towards Sakuraba.

I can't believe that he's actually going to kiss me, Sakuraba thought. And I'm actually letting him. But he only wants to kiss me because he is certain that I don't like him, so if I let him do this, I can never ever tell him. He swallowed and looked into Shin's eyes which were fixed upon his. Hell, it's worth it, Sakuraba thought.

As Shin leaned closer to him, Sakuraba closed his eyes instinctively. He could feel Shin's breath on his lips and a burning sensation rushed along his spine.

"Sakuraba…" Shin said suddenly with a low voice and Sakuraba hastily opened his eyes again. Shin stood really close to him, he could even feel the warmth of his body although they weren't touching and Sakuraba felt himself shudder slightly.

"This feels a bit strange", Shin continued but he didn't move away. "Almost like I've just run a 40 yard dash."

Having opened his eyes, Shin was oh so close to him now so Sakuraba couldn't really process what he had just said.

"Just do it" he breathed instead and Shin moved towards him. He had expected Shin to kiss him on the lips but he suddenly felt quite nervous when Shin approached him with slightly parted lips and eyes open and quickly closed his own again. It was strangely warm and soft and Sakuraba got a bit lost in the moment, deepened the kiss and without really being aware of it put his arms around Shin's neck, drawing him closer. It felt like forever but it was probably only a few seconds before Shin abruptly took a step back.

The dazeness wore off and Sakuraba felt quite embarrassed when he realised what he had been doing with his hands – could that have been why Shin had moved back? He glanced over at him but Shin wasn't looking back and instead his eyes were fixed on the wall beside Sakuraba. He was also breathing quite shallowly but Sakuraba couldn't make out what he might be thinking. He desperately hoped that he hadn't taken it too far, that Shin hadn't noticed what he really felt.

"Um, thanks for trying this out with me, Sakuraba" Shin said suddenly. "I think I have to go now though, it's getting quite cold already".

Sakuraba definitely hadn't noticed the cold and it hadn't looked as though Shin had either, but now that he mentioned it, Sakuraba shuddered although it was probably more due to the lack of warmth in Shin's eyes than in the air.