AN: I wrote this story for the spirit of EASTER! YAY! This story takes place after Santa Sanji-Clause, so if you have time you can read that one too!! IT'S FUNNY!
Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this story
Easter Zoro-Bunny
"LUFFY!" Cried the navigator, throwing her hands into the air. Everyone around the dinner table looked up. "We had this same conversation over Santa Claus last Christmas. Can't you get through that rubber-freak head of yours that the Easter bunny does not exist!"
"LAST CHRISTMAS," shouted Luffy, slamming his fork into the table. "SANJI," he pointed sharply at the chef. "SCARED THE REAL SANTA AWAY!"
Nami slapped her forehead. "He dressed up as Santa so you wouldn't be upset."
"I don't believe it," he pouted, crossing his arms. "I know Santa exists and so does the Easter bunny. He's going to come here tomorrow for the Easter holidays and scatter the ship with chocolate eggs so that we, as a crew, can all go look for them."
Zoro twirled his fork around. "How do you know that this creature exists? I mean," he pushed his plate away and leaned back in his chair. "This rabbit thing, where have you seen it before?"
"In this." Luffy conjured a child's book from under his seat and shoved it in his first mate's face. "You see? This is the Easter bunny!"
Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji and Chopper leaned forward across the table. They stared at the half-man, half-rabbit figure. Who was white, fuzzy and portrayed to look like a hug-able humanoid. Usopp sighed. "Luffy, it's just a book."
Luffy snapped it shut, almost taking his marksman's nose. "But it has a picture of…"
"That's all it is Luffy," said Sanji, blowing out a lung-full of smoke. "A picture."
"Besides," yawned Zoro, "we could do with a large rabbit animal coming on board the ship, since we're almost out of supplies."
Luffy's lower lip wobbled dangerously as he looked to his doctor. Chopper made to comfort him but the captain stood up and left the room, crashing the door behind him.
Nami sighed. "I don't know what he'll be like for his birthday." She rubbed her forehead.
Chopper groaned. "Neither."
Usopp slammed his head onto the table. "He's so stubborn."
"Yeah," Sanji began collecting the plates.
"If only you hadn't stuffed up last time," said Zoro casually, the chef stiffened, "I think you should do it again."
Sanji spun around. "I BLOODY WILL NOT DO IT AGAIN! Just let the idiot cry his eyes out. He'll get over it."
"Someone should!" All eyes turned to Chopper.
"WHAT!?"
"Someone should be the Easter bunny and do it properly this time."
Nami glared at him darkly. "That word never works on this ship."
Chopper looked blank. "What word…properly?"
The navigator hissed. Usopp ducked beneath the table.
"He was miserable for ages," insisted Chopper. "We didn't mean to be caught last time, but we could do it again, right Sanji?"
The chef doused his cigarette on the wooden table. "I ain't doing it again." He stalked out of the kitchen. All eyes watched him go and closed the door.
"I don't want to be involved," murmured the swordsman, getting up and closing the door. Their eyes lingered on the closed door for a moment longer. Nami smiled. "You don't suppose…?"
Usopp crawled out from under the table. "What…?"
Her smile widened.
"NO!" Chopper gasped.
Usopp shuddered. "Not…?!"
"I think he'll make a fine bunny, don't you's?"
Usopp and Chopper clung to one another. "NOT ZORO!"
Nami stepped out into the morning light where her crewmates, scattered about the deck, did their thing. All except Luffy, who was still sulking in the kitchen. "Good morning Sanji." She said cheerfully as she passed him.
Sanji spun around in a cloud of smoke. "GOOD MORNING MY LOVE!"
Nami rolled her eyes and continued towards the green hairdo man with the enormous weights.
Zoro looked up as the sun disappeared. "What?"
Nami smiled brightly. "Morning Zoro!"
Coldness crept up his spine. "Has something happened?"
Nami laughed heartily. "Not yet!" Her smile widened and instead of becoming nicer, it looked more…evil.
"What's wrong? Something's happened hasn't it? It's Luffy, right?"
The navigator's grin was so wide, her laugh so loud that she scared the living daylights out of him. "You predict too much, Zoro!"
Zoro frowned darkly in a face-off to match her evil grin. "I know what you're up to woman and I'm not going to do it."
Nami leaned down to his face, and if possible, her grin widened. "But Zoro," she drawled, "you haven't heard what the problem is…" she whispered in his ear.
If Sanji had been watching, he would have laughed as Zoro's eyes grew wide. He glared at the navigator. "You wouldn't," he hissed.
She straightened and glanced at her nails. "I might."
Zoro struggled to his feet. "You're not telling Sanji are you?" He warned seriously.
Nami smiled kindly this time. "Your secret it safe with me!"
Like hell, he thought as he followed Nami into the boys sleeping quarters.
Zoro felt like he was having a face-lift as Usopp rubbed cakes of white makeup onto his skin. Behind him, Nami was bleaching his hair white and Chopper, to his right, was making the final adjustments to his fuzzy rabbit suit. Usopp made to put on the pink nose.
"NOT THE NOSE!" Zoro growled.
Usopp stopped from placing it on. "But you need it."
"No…" he felt Nami tug on the tufts of his hair, in warning. "Fine," he grumbled, "put the nose on." He crossed his eyes in horror as Usopp pressed the pink ball on top his normal human nose.
"No no, it's still to square-ish. Nami, come here and see what you think," said Usopp expertly.
Zoro watched as the two examined his face. Nami shook her head. "His face is still too blocky."
"It's a man's face," snapped the first mate, "it's fine."
Nami tapped Zoro's chin. "That's got to go."
"I think so too," agreed Usopp, taking another cake of white make-up in his hand.
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY FREAKIN' CHIN?" Zoro shouted.
"Too square," said Nami.
"BUT IT'S A GUY CHIN!"
"Well it's going to go…oh, and the forehead too."
"MY FOREHEAD?!"
"Yep," smiled Nami. "Usopp!" She ordered.
"Yes ma'am!" He smirked.
"Prepare to erase the chin and forehead."
"I LIKE MY…"
SPLAT! Zoro closed his eyes as the white make-up slapped against his thickening skin. He felt Nami's fingers adding more bleach to his hair. "I'm going to get you Nami," he hissed under his breath.
Nami patted his head. "Of course you are," she cooed, "of course."
Chopper held up the rabbit suit. "DONE!"
Zoro unclipped the earrings from his ears. It was horrible, those three, Usopp, Chopper and Nami – she was going to die painfully for putting him through this – had completely mutilated him. His chin, his only chin, his nice square manly chin had been turned into…well, there was no word to describe it, but it was a round chin. A tiny, round, dimple looking chin. And his forehead, when Nami declared she was removing it from existence she meant it and Usopp did a damn good job at removing something a big as that. However, he liked his forehead too, it was a dignified forehead for goodness sake! Oh god! and his hair, it was as white as snow. After five long hours Nami had finally been able to bleach the green out completely – he was extremely proud of his hair for making her curse and swear. But it was the bunny suit that was most sickening. Chopper obviously had a talent for creating "cute" and this thing was so cute it was verging on to something else – but he didn't want to go there. He untied the katana from his waist and leaned them against the mirror. Now, he was undecipherable.
"These are just in case scenarios that we should have done last time with Sanji, okay, Zoro?" He grumbled a reply. "Good," said Nami cheerily. "So what do you do when a chocolate egg gets crushed?"
Zoro glared at her. "What?"
"It's a question, you're meant to answer it."
"Oh yeah, umm," Zoro scratched idly at the fluffy arms. "Scuff it into the floorboards?"
Nami sighed. "You say 'sorry' to the egg."
"Why would I do that?"
"Just do it, alright. Anyway, what do you do when Luffy comes out?"
"Kill him."
Nami cracked up into laughter. "Close enough!"
"So I can kill him?" Zoro asked hopefully.
She glared darkly. "No. You're the Easter Bunny, you encourage peace and harmony, kindness to all creatures and mankind."
"Do I say all that exactly?"
The navigator slapped her forehead. "Just scatter the eggs around the ship for three nights and when you're finished…"
"Yeah, yeah," said Zoro, "come back to your room and get the bloody stuff off me." He looked out of the darkened window. "Okay, its night. I'm going."
Nami pressed a wicker basket full of tinsel wrapped chocolate eggs into his fuzzy paws. "Happy Easter, Zoro."