Disclaimer: I am so sick of writing the fact that I do not own Friends. So from now on, it's just implied.

(A/N: Enjoy the season 11 finale! Don't worry though, I'll be writing a season 12.)

It was four in the morning, and Rachel had just fallen asleep after taking care of a sick Emma, when the phone rang. She tried waking Ross to make him answer the phone, but he had always been a very deep sleeper. "Oh damnit." She said as she crawled out of bed and made her way slowly over to the phone in the living room. She answered it as though she had not slept for a week. "Hello?"

"Rach! It's Joey! Phoebe's baby came early, she's on her way to the hospital right now." Rachel immediately woke from her half-slumber, and hung up the phone. "Oh my God! Ross Ross Ross Ross Ross!!!!" After hearing his name being called so many times, he got out of bed and rushed into the living room. "What's wrong?"

"Phoebe's having her baby!"

"Oh my God that's so great!" He hugged Rachel. "Ross what are you doing? I'm not having a baby."

"I know but she isn't here. Where is she by the way? Is she there yet?"

"No, Joey just called and said her and Mike were on their way to the hospital."

"Oh, well we should get there then."
"Well wait what about Emma?"

"We'll drop her off at my mom's on the way."

"But won't Monica and Chandler drop off Jack and Erica at your mom's?"

"Oh that's right. I don't want them to have to much to handle. We'll drop her off at your mom's."

"Okay. I'll get her dressed."

"I'll…" Ross thought about that for a moment. "Well I'll do something!"

"Hello?"

"Monica?"

"NO, it's Chandler!"
"Oh dude you sound like a girl when you're tired." Chandler just sighed. "Joey, what did I tell you about calling at four in the morning?"

"No dude Phoebe's having her baby!"
"What? But she's not due for another three weeks!"
"Babies sometimes come early. Duh." Chandler shook his head to wake himself up. "We'll be right over." Chandler ran upstairs and woke Monica. "Monica! Wake up!" She tried hitting him but he was out of reach. "Ugh what do you want?"

"Phoebe's having her baby!" At this statement Monica threw the covers off her and screamed "WHAT!?"

"Yeah. She's on her way to the hospital right now!"

"Well don't just stand there Bing! Get Jack ready and I'll take care of Erica."

"Are they going?"

"No they're not going! We're dropping them off at my mom's."

"Oh. Okay."

"Phoebe honey just breathe."

"I don't remember labor being this painful!" Mike was trying to comfort Phoebe, but it wasn't working all that well. "Phoebe just try to stay calm."
"Calm?! Don't tell me about calm! You wanna know how painful this is!? Try crapping a watermelon!!!" He couldn't help but laugh. What a horrible position that would be. "I know, it hurts, but soon it will be all over, and you'll have a little baby that you will actually be able to take home." Phoebe stopped freaking out after hearing that. "Oh my God. I'm gonna be a mom." She suddenly felt faint. "I know." Mike kissed Phoebe on the forehead. "You're going to be a great mom Phoebe."

"Oh my God." She couldn't stop thinking about it. "Mike?"
"Yes?"

"I'm scared."

Joey burst in the door of the hospital and immediately saw her. Or so he thought. He ran up with flowers in hand. "Hey Pheebs I got…" He saw her face. "Oh, you're not Phoebe." The woman just glared at him. Joey walked away and muttered "Whoa I'm sorry for that baby." Monica and Chandler followed him in. They had gotten there at the same time, because they had given Joey a ride, but he ran up ahead of them. "So, Phoebe isn't here yet?"

"Nope, but I just met her stunt double." Joey nodded in the direction of the other woman. Monica and Chandler, having not seen her face, didn't know what Joey was talking about. "Well ANYWAY…" Rachel and Ross ran in and Ross tripped over one of the chairs. "Ha Ross fell on his ass!" He got up and shook it off. "Real mature Joey." He then heard laughing behind him. It was Rachel. "Oh don't tell me you're laughing at that?" She didn't say anything. Mike came in next, pushing Phoebe in a wheelchair. "Phoebe!" Rachel went up and hugged her. "It's going to be okay. Just remember how you did it last time. You got through it okay, and you got to see three beautiful little babies that were growing inside you."

"Yeah, except this time I really do get to keep one!" Phoebe had gotten over her freak out in the cab, but she was still a little afraid, though she didn't let it show. Joey handed her the flowers. "Aw thanks Joey." She kissed him on the cheek. Mike came back. "Okay, we're all checked in. Room 202." He wheeled Phoebe off, and the others followed.

"Wow nice room."

"Yeah, you got a private room." Rachel was a tad bit jealous. After Phoebe got all settled in, everyone but Mike left, to give them their privacy. "Mike, everything is gonna be okay, right? With the baby?"

"Yeah Phoebe don't worry about it. Being three weeks early is really common. We only need to worry if it's like three months early."

"Oh okay." Phoebe's obstetrician came in. "Hey how we doing Hannigans?"

"Just fine. She's having contractions every fifty-six seconds."

"Okay and Phoebe are you breathing?"

"Yeah, either that or I'm dead and this is all a dream." The doctor smiled. "You know what I meant."

Joey was downstairs, messing with the vending machines again. "Come on. Come to daddy… YES!" Ross walked in. "Did you get a Snickers?"

"Yeah I did!"

"Hey listen Joey, um, can I talk to you?"

"Yeah Ross what's up?"

"Well, me and Rach haven't exactly found a priest to do our wedding yet, and we were wondering if you might want to do it."

"Me? Why me…." Joey then remembered that he was an ordained minister. "Oh yeah! Of course I wanna marry you guys!"

"Great. Can you start working on your speech? The wedding is in two months."

"Sure I can. Did you write your vows yet?"

"Well I don't know about her. I haven't, but this won't be hard at all. I already know exactly what I'm going to say. I mean it's Rachel."

"Yeah. That's great man. Hey can I borrow a dollar?" Ross looked confused. "Uh yeah, why?"
"I already ate my snickers and I don't think the machine is gonna drop another." Ross just rolled his eyes and handed Joey the bill.

"Chandler can you believe that seven months from now we're going to be in here having our baby?"

"Yeah it's pretty great isn't it?"

"Yeah. I can't believe this is actually happening."

"You know what I just realized?"

"What?"

"Look how many kids there are in our family. There is Ben, Emma, Jack, Erica, Leslie, Frank Jr. Jr., Chandler, and Joseph is coming now. That's eight kids. And that's not including any that anyone else has in the future, or ours. That's a lot of kids."

"Yeah. I guess I never really thought about it. Our little group of six friends is multiplying like crazy huh?"

"Yeah."

"Hey Ross?"

"Yeah?"

"How long was Carol in labor? I forgot."

"About eight hours. Why?"

"Just trying to estimate how long Phoebe is going to be in labor."

"Oh. Well the baby already came three weeks early. Maybe it won't be too long." Just then Mike came out of Phoebe's room. "She's dilated seven centimeters. Just thought you'd like an update." Ross turned and looked at Rachel again. "Well there you go." She smiled and kissed him. "You suck." She laughed. He pulled back. "What?"

"Yeah. I was in labor for twenty –eight hours. It's your fault." She smiled at him. "Well it kinda is." He kissed her and she layed her head on his chest and fell asleep.

"Okay Mrs. Hannigan, I think it's time to go to the delivery room."

"What? It is?"

"Yeah. You ready?"

"Well, no I'm not ready!"

"I'm sorry honey but I don't think this baby is gonna wait. Let's go." Two nurses came in and wheeled Phoebe off to delivery. Mike ran into the waiting room. "Guys she's going into delivery!" Everyone sat up straight. "That's great good luck!"

"Thanks." He quickly shut the door and caught up with the nurses hauling her off. "Breathe. Breathe. Breathe." He kept repeating to her. She kept breathing, each time deeper. " Okay I SWEAR last time it wasn't this painful!"

"Different pregnancies have different effects." The nurse answered. "Oh what do you know? You went to school for what? One year?" Mike kissed Phoebe on the forehead, then apologized to the nurse. "I'm sorry, she's a little testy right now."

"Oh don't worry about it they all are."

"Really? Wow that must suck for you."

"You have no idea."

After a long time of silence, Joey spoke up. "I'm bored." Chandler looked at him, then put his head back in his hands. "What? I am! We should play a game." This time Rachel looked up. "Like what Joe?"
"I don't know. I'm not good at makin' stuff up. Oh hey Ross you think of something!"

"And what makes you think I make stuff up?"

"Well you're like, a scientist, you have to make up all that crap about dinosaurs and all that."
"Joey, dinosaurs were real."

"Ha. You're still in character. Very well done."

"Joey, I'm not-" Ross decided to just let that one go. "Well anyway Monica is the competitive one. Have her make something up."

"Nah I don't feel like it." Everyone looked shocked. "What? I'm tired."

"Push Phoebe! Push!"
"I'm trying!"
"Okay Phoebe," The doctor began, "Things are coming along."

"Things? What things?" She managed to scream. "I see the baby's head."

"Oh well that's great the worst is yet to come." Mike squeezed Phoebe's hand. She squeezed his harder. "Ow…"

"Oh come on be a man!" Mike felt embarrassed. "Okay um, push, push!"

"He's coming." Mike got out of Phoebe's grasp to look at his son. "Oh he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. But he's so ugly!" The baby was finally out. Phoebe could hear the crying. "You did it. You did great honey." Mike said to her as she lay her head back on her pillow, exhausted. The doctor handed Phoebe her baby, now cleaned up a bit. "Hey Joey." She said to the new little boy she was holding in her arms. "Oh wow this is amazing. And the fact that I get to keep this one."

"Yeah it's great. I never knew this feeling." Mike was nearly crying. Phoebe passed his son into his arms for the first time. "Hey there son." The doctor came back in. "Do you have a name picked out?"

"Yeah, it's Joseph Michael Hannigan."

"Okay, I'm going to get his birth certificate printed up."

Phoebe was being wheeled up to recovery. The group came in her room to welcome the new addition to their family. Little Joey was being passed around as each of his aunts and uncles adored him. Joey was the last to hold him. "Hey there little Joey! I'm gonna teach ya all the good stuff, like how to get girls, and how to eat, and everything." After a little while Phoebe got little Joey back and held him in her arms again. "I'm taking you home Joey." Everyone had gone by that time, back to the waiting room. She looked up at Mike. "How amazing is this?" He smiled at her and held onto her hand.