Okay here's chapter two. I hope you like it.

I don't own anything that has to do with X-Men but Maddie is all mine and they can't have her! LOL.

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Thanks!

I gave her my heart.

He wouldn't find any sleep on this night, not on this night.

Why didn't I see it?

Logan laid on his bed. Once again doing the same thing he had done the previous four years on this date. Think of her.

What had gone wrong?

She had come back. After Alcatraz, she was alive. No one knew how, and she never wanted to explain so nobody pushed.

Maybe it was her coming back that did it.

They had become friends. He had pushed his feelings aside, was there for all those nights that she had broken down. When her nightmares would mix in with reality and all she wanted to do was kill herself.

"Please just let me do it" She begged.

"I can't do that darlin'… you know that!" Logan held her tight.

With heavy tears running down her face, she held him tighter. "Please" was her whisper in agony. "Please just let me just do it, Logan"

He hadn't known what to do. His inner beast wanted to come out and claw at anything in sight. Not understanding why the woman he loved, was hurting so much. Why she just wouldn't let him in.

"Darlin' you need to stop this!" He found her again in her bedroom alone in the dark, secluding herself from anything else alive.

"This has to stop! Why can't you let me in?" Logan pleaded.

And she looked up at him, the once beautiful green eyes full of live, gone; replaced by a cold, emotionless stare that would even cool Logan to his bones.

"I hate you" She whispered. "I hate all of you!"

It had hurt to hear her in such pain. To know that each passing day was worse than the one before and he was powerless to stop her falling deeper into the abyss of depression she had created.

"Let's take a walk" Logan asked her. Any distraction would be good for her.

"No." She answered in a flat tone. She was like a statue. Would hardly eat, hardly sleep, hardly live.

"It's really nice outside. You should see 'Ro's garden." He tried convincing her.

She would simply stare at the blank wall.

"You know, there's lots of' people wantin you to get better. Why are you doin this?"

"Because I don't care" Was her chilly response.

"But I do!" Logan answered immediately. "I do" He stood above her and picked her up.

"What are you doing, Logan!" She yelled.

"I'm taking you for a walk! And I don't want to hear another word." He answered, and once she had seen the look of determination along with something else, she simply stopped fighting, too tired to do so.

"Fine" she lastly whispered.

And it had been a nice walk. For the first time since she had come back, in the four months she had been there, she looked at peace. The way the light would shine her hair, and how her green eyes seemed to pick up a little spark again, made Logan understand that no matter how long it took, he'd always be there trying to get her back to normal.

And it worked. Or so he thought.

"Was that a smile?" He teased.

She looked down, "Nope! It was a twitch" She said, but looked back at him.

He smiled at her. "Okay darlin' whatever you want to call it. But to me that was a smile."

"Well, maybe it was an upside down frown, did you think about that?" She joked back with him.

"Right! Of course, how could I not see it?"

It had been a nice spring day. Eight months since she returned. Four of which she finally tried living again. Two of which she actually acknowledge those around her and one of which she seemed to be almost okay.

"I had missed it." Logan said, "Your smile"

She played with the grass underneath her, rubbing her feet absentmindedly across the lawn.

"I'm glad you're better" He later said, holding her hand.

Maybe it was just him wanting to see her better. Maybe she never was okay to begin with.

"I'm okay now, really I am" she reassured him.

Maybe he just wanted so badly to believe it, he didn't try harder.

"Thanks for everything, Logan" She said, still wrapped in his embrace.

"You're welcome, darlin." He whispered back.

She pulled back a bit, and after running her hand across his face, she leaned in and kissed him.

Was it his love for her that had blinded him?

"I love you" He honestly said.

"And me you" She answered, wrapping her arms around his chest.

They were together for over ten months now. And Logan couldn't remember a time when he was happier.

"You know darlin, I was thinkin." He absently said, running his hand along her naked back.

"Mmm, and what's that?" She whispered, enjoying his touch.

"We should get married."

She jumped up, and stared at him.

"Is something wrong?" He asked.

"No, no. Nothing is wrong." And she just looked at him.

"We don't have to, it was just a thought" He tried to take it back.

"No, its okay." And after a pause she finally said, "Let's do it."

She hadn't been ready. Why hadn't he seen that?

Was it his love for her that had blinded him?

Six weeks later they were married with a small ceremony at the mansion. They spent their honeymoon in Canada. He had even stopped taking missions except for the occasional musts.

They were doing good, even great in his opinion.

They were just missing something. Something Logan would have never thought he wanted. He was always the loner, the one to want to get away from it all; the one that couldn't stand being in one place.

But not with her, never with her.

And ten months later, he asked.

"I think we should start a family."

Her first response was that she wanted to wait longer. So he waited six more months before he asked her again. She had responded that she was too busy with teaching the kids and helping 'Ro run the mansion.

So he waited another four months and asked her again.

"This is a really big deal to you, isn't it?" She asked.

"Darlin, I want us to have this. A family that I can't even remember having, and I want to do it with you. What's wrong with that?"

She looked at him, and after a pause she said "Okay, let's have a baby"

Maybe it was him that pushed her too far.

Two months later, she was pregnant. He was ecstatic, she would simply just smile. They decorated the nursery in baby lilac paint months before knowing the gender of the child, but reassured by Logan that it was a girl.

Nine months later, Madison Sophia Grey was born on October 3rd.

Logan was first to hold her.

"I'm just too sleepy, and I don't want to drop her" She had told him. And after sixteen hours in labor, why wouldn't he have believed her?

"It's probably post partum depression." Hank had said.

"She probably just needs more time to herself." Moira assured him.

They were back barely for a month, and things had fallen apart again. Everything Maddie would do seemed to upset her even more. The only time she was at ease was when Maddie slept.

"I have to go get some air." She said, leaving the crying baby for Logan to tend.

"Where are you going?" He asked. "Do you have to go now? The baby obviously needs you!"

She looked at Logan, and saw the baby calming with his rocking, "I really doubt that Logan. And anyway, she likes you better."

He had let it go all those times mostly because when she would come back, she was okay. She would even take the baby from him, sit on her rocking chair, and hold the baby till they both slept.

But her leaving for a couple of hours, sometimes even take three days, was killing him.

Was it him that had pushed her too far?

"She's almost going to be one! Can you believe that darlin?" He held Madison up in the air.

She simply didn't look interested. "Yeah, she's getting big"

And then it was the morning Maddie turned one.

"Hey Logan!" Marie said, holding a bubbly Maddie, blowing spit bubbles from her mouth.

"What is it kid?" He said, trying to concentrate on the task at hand

"Maddie here is to go with you, says her momma. And she wanted me to give you this."

As Logan turned around, he was handed the baby along with a plain white envelope.

"Thanks, kid"

Marie crocked her eyebrow, "Logan…"

And he knew where she was going "Yeah, yeah, not a kid, got it."

She smiled. "Well I'm taking off, have fun with the munchkin." She said, while tickling Madison.

"Yeah, later kid" He yelled after her. Smirking at Marie's groan.

After Marie had left, he placed Madison on his hip and curiously eyed the envelope.

"Mmm, so what did your mom do this time, eh?" He rhetorically asked the baby.

Maybe it was him that hadn't tried hard enough.

I'm sorry Logan. I can't keep pretending that everything is fine. It's not! I hope you understand. It's nothing that you did, it's just me. I can't keep doing this to you. It's unfair to the both of you. I'm sure you'll be fine without me…you have been all this time.

That day Logan was once again a broken man.

But he would never brake down on this day. Not on this day. He would never let her ruin Madison's birthday. He wouldn't be the man holding a grudge against his kid, blaming his kid for her mother leaving…so he always promised to make this day a special day for his daughter. No matter how much it hurt him in the end.

"Are you okay, sugah?" Marie asked, slowly sitting next to Logan.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because of what today is…you don't have to do anything for Maddie you know. She's barely two. She won't even remember." Marie tried.

Logan simply growled. "No! I will not let her ruin my child's day. Not on this day Marie. She can have the other 364 days a year. But not on this day Marie! Today is Maddie's."

He might have been the bastard everyone thought he was, but not to Maddie, never to Maddie.

He tried to save her from the pain of knowing her mother had left. That before she could even stand, her mother had given up on them both. So he lied. Lied to his little girl.

"Dadda, whea's my mommy?" Little three year old Madison asked. She was a bright little child, observant. She had noticed that at the park all the little kids had a mommy except her.

So Logan said the first thing that came to mind. "She's gone, Maddie."

And he almost broke at the sight of her teary eyes. "Gone were? She didn't love me?"

"No, no, no, Maddie. She loved you very much."

"Den where is she?"

Heaving a deep breath, Logan replied "You remember aunt Kitty's gold fish?"

"Fishy?" She asked.

"Yes, fishy. Remember how he had to go to sleep?"

"Yeah..." Madison answered, scared of where this was going.

"Well, when you were a little baby, your mommy had to go to sleep because she was sick. But your mommy loved you very much. And you have me, pumpkin. Don't you love me?"

The little child got up from her bed and hugged Logan as tightly as her little hands could grip.

"Of couse' I love you daddy. You the best dad in the whole wo'ld"

Was lying the right thing to do? Probably not. But he was damned if he'd ever hurt Maddie the way she had hurt them both.

'It is better to have loved and lost, than to have not loved at all' someone had once told him.

But he soon found it was all a lie.

It was easier without you. I prefer never have had you then to have lost you like this.

No, he would not find sleep this night. Not this night. The night that to him, Jean Grey died.

Okay so that's chapter two.

Let me know how much I sucked!

Please review. Thanks!