Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters are property of the mighty Disney Company.

I've only seen Sky High for the first time a few months ago and I really liked it. Warren was awesome, of course, and all the other kids and the humor was great. But one of the most fascinating things in it to me was the idea that Stitches actually raised Sue/Gwen after she was turned into a baby. I liked Stitches anyway but that was such an interesting situation that I just had to write about it. So here it is:

A Serpent's Tooth

Stitches ran for several miles from the warehouse before the cries of the baby cradled in his arms forced him to stop. Everything had gone wrong so quickly that the jester-outfitted minion had had no time to think about his actions. He'd simply scooped Pacified Sue up and fled from the scene before any of the heroes even knew what had happened.

Now he crouched in a wooded area of Maxville Park and stared at the infant who stared back at him with unfocused eyes. Tonight was supposed to be their moment of triumph. Once Royal Pain defeated the Commander and turned him into a helpless baby, the other heroes would fall as well.

The Commander was the greatest of them all and not only would it have been demoralizing to his fellow heroes to realize his defeat but there were none who could match him for sheer power. Royal Pain had plans for how to neutralize the powers of any of the others. Only the Commander had stood in her way. If Jetstream hadn't interfered, Royal Pain would be well on her way to ruling the world and as her faithful follower, Stitches himself would become one of the most powerful people on the planet.

But now everything was ruined. Sue fussed a little in his arms and then her little fists reached out for his jester's cap. He shook his head a bit to keep it out of her reach and she giggled as the cap bobbed around just out of reach.

What was he supposed to do now? He was no babysitter. Sure, if her plan had worked, he would have helped take care of the heroes-turned-infants but he wouldn't have to do everything. Sue would have hired an evil nanny or something.

He considered going back, trying to get the Pacifier away from the Commander and Jetstream but he knew it was futile. After the blast that had hit Sue, the Commander had broken it against the wall. The only one who knew how to fix it was currently cooing and trying to fit her fist in her mouth.

Stitches wasn't stupid but he was no evil genius either. The way he saw it, he had two options. He could wait for Sue to grow up and they could try again to achieve world domination. Or he could hand baby Sue over to some orphanage and find some other villain who needed a flunky.

Going to Sky High, he had been an outcast. Not only a sidekick but an annoying sidekick with a penchant for pranks. It wasn't his fault that most of those hero types had no sense of humor. Despite the regular beatings and the disapproval of the staff ("Not even sidekick-worthy," one of them had sniffed when they thought he couldn't hear them,) he'd never let them get him down. Life was too short and there was too much fun to be had to care what others thought.

Sue had been his only friend in that time. Well, not friend exactly, more like mentor. She hated them all, staff and students, so much that she was willing to help him in some of his pranks on that condition that nobody could figure out that she was involved. Gradually, she'd guided his pranks towards more subtle endeavors. It wasn't long before taking orders from her seemed perfectly natural. When she'd told him her grand scheme to become a villain and take over the world, he's found it so funny that he'd capered all over the room and cackled with delight until her hand closed over his throat, forcing him to stop.

She treated him cruelly perhaps, but there was balance. His natural exuberance and her detached, genius reasoning made them a perfect team. If she was the leader of that team, then so what? He was content to be a follower of hers. His power was super-stamina. He could run for days and not get tired, rarely slept, and had energy to spare. Coupled with a better-than-average agility and speed, it made him the perfect henchman as he skipped and gamboled all around town at all hours of the day, running errands for his Master.

Now their situation was reversed. Sue was the helpless one and he was the one who had to make the decisions. He knew, without a doubt, that if he had been the one infantazized, she'd leave him behind without any regret. But he wasn't her.

Could he really do this? Could he really act as a father and raise this baby up to be a criminal mastermind again? What if he screwed up somehow and instead she ended up as (gasp) an accountant or something mundane? Was being evil in her blood or had something happened in her first childhood to make her the way she was?

She never talked about her childhood. He knew her father was dead and she didn't get along with her mother but that was it. Well, he could be a better father than the one she'd had before. He'd be the best damn father any kid had ever had. The decision came to him as swiftly as most of his whims. He'd raise this baby as his own. And someday, they'd be a team again and Royal Pain would succeed this time. He'd teach her everything he knew and they would rule the world together.

Sue had bought a house under an assumed name and she had a fortune stored in electronic bank accounts. So he could raise Royal Pain back up without the need to worry about the financial costs of raising a child. No one knew that Royal Pain was Sue Tenny or even female but he wasn't taking any chances. Both of them were going to get new names for their new lives.

"Looks like it's just you and me, princess. You're going to need a new name. How does Gwen sound to you?" The newly-named Gwen sucked her thumb contentedly. Fatherhood was going to be so much fun.