The smell of coffee, toast and a fry assaulted his senses, stirring him awake… The thing is, that when he nodded off, he was sitting down and it had most definitely been nightime. The Doctor currently found himself prone, on Sarah Jane's sofa, underneath a cosy duvet with the sun shining through a gap in the curtains.
"Good morning, starshine." Sarah Jane leant against the kitchen door frame in a long white towelling robe, cradling a mug of coffee. "I went to ask if you fancied an omlette and you were out for the count. You looked so tired, I didn't want to wake you."
The Doctor reluctantly extracted himself from his cocoon. He must have looked an absolute state! Crumpled suit, wayward hair, scruffy… pretty much everything. And there was Sarah Jane looking fresh as a daisy. He ran his fingers through his hair hoping he wasn't making it worse. "Thanks for the duvet… and sorry for passing out like that. I swear, I closed my eyes for a second or two just to rest them."
"A really long blink!" Sarah smiled. "You look better today, if a litle rumpled. But you always had a bit of the rumple about you… Now come on and eat before it all goes cold."
Without needing to be told twice, the Doctor was in Sarah Jane's kitchen tucking into a bacon sandwich. Good grief, but he was hungry! He had to remember to do basic things like that. Rose used to be the one who made them stop at regular intervals to eat. Damn… There he goes again. The thought of Rose and his throat started to tighten, making it difficult to swallow. He really needed to stop doing that. Not stop thinking of Rose – like that could ever happen – but he had to pick his moments more judiciously.
Sarah Jane noticed the melancholy fall across his face. "Are you okay?"
The Doctor shook his head. "No." He said quietly. "If Rose had died, I could at least mourn and move on. I lost everyone in the Time War and as hard as it was, I could process that. Death is inevitable, even to my people… But losing Rose. I keep thinking I should have done more. I could have saved her or I could have gotten through to the other side of the Void."
Sarah Jane found herself holding the Doctor's hand again. "You were looking at the bigger picture. You always did… you always do. Think of the catastrophic results had you not stayed."
"Is it wrong of me to not care?"
"Of course not."
"And it's like she's just beyond my reach, but no matter how far I stretch out, I'll never make contact." The Doctor closed his eyes and tried to get his emotions back in check.
Sarah Jane had marveled at his latest incarnation. He had looked so young and carefree during the Summer. If anything, the lonliness he exuded made him look younger and more fragile. That night in the café trying to fix K9, Sarah Jane had all but admitted she had been in love with him. Now, the feelings were different… Not maternal as such but she felt very protective of him. And it was upsetting to see him like this, feeling like he had nobody left. But he wasn't alone. He had her. It may have taken him 30 years to come back into her life, and while she had no desire to travel with him again, there was no reason why they couldn't stay in contact.
"Oh what am I like?" The Doctor said, wiping his eyes with the heel of his hands. "It's Christmas Day and I'm unloading all my troubles on to you. I'm sorry."
"Don't give it a second thought." She replied. "Actually, just hold on a moment." Sarah Jane disappeared briefly to the hallway. "Here. Happy Christmas." She handed the Doctor a key. "It's the spare key to my front door. You're welcome here any time you like… Well, providing that the time is my present."
The Doctor was speechless. The significance of handing over a key wasn't lost on him. He did it so rarely and only to people he considered very special. Sarah Jane had been one of those special people a lifetime ago and he had quite literally dumped her. At the time, he thought it was for the best… Well, you know what thought did! Re-connecting with Sarah Jane during the summer made him feel a little less alone in the Universe and now here she was offering him a place in her home whenever he wanted it. "I don't know what to say. This is…" He clutched the small metal key tightly. "This is lovely. Thank you." He stood up and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "But I'm afraid I don't have anything for you."
"That's okay. I don't give presents to get them." She said. "Now, I've been invited to friends for Christmas Dinner. There's going to be so many people there, one more won't make a difference, so come with me."
"Ooooh. Social situations." The Doctor wrinkled his nose. "I'm not quite sure I'm up for that at the moment."
"Okay, then I'll stay here and we can spend the day together…"
"Nooo. No. I'm not disrupting your plans either. Go and be with your friends."
"You're my friend."
"Yeah. I know that." The Doctor said brightly. Sarah was becoming used to his mercurial mood changes. "But now I have a key, I can drop in whenever I want."
All she could do was smile. "I can't persuade you, can I?"
The Doctor just shook his head. "I'm not good company for anyone at the moment. And I look a state and I need to get changed and cleaned up and…"
"Okay!" She laughed, raising her hands in surrender. "But you better stay in touch now. Give me a phone call every so often… Wouldn't kill you." Was she sure about the Maternal thing? She was certainly starting to sound like it!
The Doctor just hugged her once more, for old time's sake. "I'll stay in touch. I promise." He said.
As she waved him away from her front door, Sarah was suddenly inspired to write. She watched the TARDIS fade away - the familiar noise caused next door's cat to get quite perturbed - and then returned to her sitting room and cranked up her computer. Her editor would get his 1000 words sooner than she anticipated.
Should old aquaintance be forgot? Reconnecting with the ghost of friendships past by Sarah Jane Smith…Fin