Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.
Summary: I thought it was high time everyone learned to drive... and then I got to thinking, what would that be like?
Author's Notes: I can't drive. I'm too young. My brother is in Driver's Ed, however, and from driving with him I know what it's like... somewhat. Oh, and I borrowed some lines from a scene much like this one from Ruskbyte's Well of Shadows.

The Joys of Driving

Car chases, as a general rule, were not a common sight on the streets outside suburban Tokyo. No, no, car chases, as seen in the movies, are only supposed to happen in places such as Los Angeles, or New York or, if James Bond was in town, perhaps Paris or another large city of Europe. But not here.

Of course, it wasn't actually much of a car chase. Car chases require two or more cars, and only one was involved in this... event. Still, from the way and speed at which the car was driven, one could be forgiven for thinking they were watching a high-speed chase.

"WATCH OUT FOR THAT STOP SIGN!" Crash!

"Whoops... too late... Ah! Little old granny!" The car swerved wildly, much to the delight of the driver and horror of all passengers. The little old lady screamed, dropped her purse, and ran in the opposite direction.

"SLOW DOWN! WATCH OUT FOR THAT RABBIT!"

"We're all going to die... We're all going to die..."

Thump. "Waaaah! Poor bunny!"

"Ahahaha... my bad..."

A light ahead of them turned red, but the car didn't slow. Other cars at the four-way intersection swerved, tires squealing, to avoid collision.

"I don't want to die... I don't want to die..."

"NO, NO! TURN LEFT! NO, LEFT! THE OTHER LEFT, YOU IDIOT! AHHHHH!"

The car sped down the street, swerving in and out of cars - regardless of whether they were going the same direction or the opposite one. The driver also didn't seem to be picky about whether his car was on the street or the sidewalk.

"STAY ON THE ROAD! THE ROAD, YOU IDIOT, THE ROAD! AHHH! WATCH OUT FOR THE PEDESTRIANS!"

"We're all going to die! We're all going to dieeee!"

People scattered left and right, as well as a few other directions, as the runaway car veered onto the pavement, leaving a trail of traumatized pedestrians behind it.

"Idon'twanttodie!Idon'twanttodie!"

The car skidded back onto the road, veering wildly and managing to take the side mirrors off of half a dozen other cars before getting into the proper lane. It crested a small hill, but at the speed it was going at, driving down it was impossible. No, the car flew through the air and landed with a heavy thump fully ten meters away.

"Whoo! That was exciting!"

Shigure sat back in the drivers seat, both hands off the wheel now. He was grinning. Momiji, Tohru, and Kagura (no one knew quite how she had gotten there) were in the back seat, pale and terrified. Tohru looked ready to faint. Kagura was hiding her face in her hands. They were only saved by Hatori's pulling the keys out of the ignition. He was hoarse from screaming at the idiot Dog and a vein pulsed an angry red in his forehead.

"Get out of the car." Reluctantly, Shigure switched places with Hatori. Tohru, Kagura, and Momiji relaxed considerably. Hatori drove back to Shigure's house at a blissfully slow and careful rate.

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This is the first in a series of driving-related chaos. Here's how this chapter worked: Shigure was driving, Hatori was in the passenger seat. Hatori was the one who spoke in caps lock. Out of character, I know. Kagura was the "We're all going to die" and "I don't want to die", Momiji said "waaa, poor bunny" and Tohru was so scared that she couldn't talk at all. Okay, Tohru learns next!