Note- -kun and stuff left in to help Subaru realise stuff, rather than me being silly.
My first X-piece and it's kind of strange.
Then again though, the whole series is kind of strange. I'm part of the teenist, tiniest fandom, but regardless I will post this because I love the idea of dreams being meaningful, especially in X.
Notes: Memories from Tokyo Babylon, X-verse, spoilers for Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle chapter 115- 135ish. Everso slightly hinted at Kamui+Subaru.
Since he was sixteen years old, the Sumeragi heir had dreamed of cherry blossoms.
So when, on one night eight years after the dramatic and tragic events that had set Subaru's true destiny in motion, he couldn't sense the usual perfume of cherry blossom hanging thickly in the air of his dreamscape, the Subaru knew that something serious was occurring. Something was changing.
He stood in the inky blackness, waiting. He had lived a life steeped in mysticism for too long to not know that it was all that he could do. It wasn't much longer (or so he believed) until he sensed movement.
Movement? Subaru felt himself frown as he concentrated. No, he realised, not movement, but sound. Ticking, constant and steady and booming, as if coming from a vast clock that he could not see. Ticking that had been there from the start he knew with surety, probably before he had even entered this dream.
The sound- though he had previously managed to not notice it- bothered him somehow, twisting his stomach in some sort of quiet dread, and instinctively he turned to seek out the source.
Finding nothing (which did not surprise him) he turned back around and almost visibly started when he was met with a young girl with her features hidden by the umbrella she twirled about.
'I know this girl.'
"Mi… Mitsuki?"
The umbrella stopped spinning and slowly the little girl turned around. "Subaru-kun?" she questioned, pretty face dominated by large eyes shining in bewilderment.
'Kun?' Subaru's eyes darted down to glance at his hands and found them unmarred and child-like.
"I haven't seen Subaru-kun in so long," Mitsuki continued, though her voice held a note of sadness. "You stopped dreaming of me, just like you stopped dreaming about everything else."
The image of cherry blossoms jumped into his mind, but this time that was all they were; an image and nothing more.
"I'm sorry, Mitsuki-chan," he said, and he meant it too. He hadn't thought of his first crush in such a long, long time. It was just another part of a past that felt like it belonged to someone else.
She smiled. "Don't be. Subaru-kun needed to stand still for a long time before he could start moving again."
Subaru found himself frowning again. "That's rather cryptic for a little girl to come out with," he said dryly.
Mitsuki giggled. "You and I both know that I am nothing more than a manifestation of something else. Mitsuki was the beginning. The first to make you realise that you were not normal and the first mind you entered. Destiny called for both from you."
"Kamui?" Subaru questioned.
Mitsuki said nothing, and instead raised the hand not clutching at the umbrella, and pointed her index finger towards the floor.
Subaru found his gaze following her lead, and it slid to the floor taking in the vast sea of tiles he stood upon, dotted here and there with yin-yang patterns. A tremble ran down his spine at the crawling sense of déjà vu.
"How is my big sister?"
Subaru's glance snapped back up and he winced as he felt his heart twist in guilt. "You know that she's dead, Yuya," he said softly.
The little boy nodded solemnly. "Just like my real sister. I wonder why the people I love leave me," he said almost conversationally, though Subaru knew that he was voicing his own unspoken feelings. "You forgot about me, just like you forgot about the rest of the world."
Subaru's guilt grew stronger, despite the fact that he knew the Yuya before him was not real. He hadn't seen the boy in eight years. He didn't even know if he was still alive, or if he hadn't had the strength to carry on without his mother, Subaru or Hokuto to keep him from being alone in that hospital bed.
Yuya smiled. "Don't feel bad, big brother, you remember now. Time can finally start moving once again." He nodded then, and his eyes glowed with knowledge beyond comprehension. "Destiny has to be answered when it comes calling."
Subaru sighed, and it was a weary sound. Destiny. It was always destiny. His entire life had been manipulated into this miserable existence just for him to fit some role that still wasn't clear to him.
Like Mitsuki before him, Yuya gave him a sad smile and gestured to somewhere behind the onmyoji. Knowing that he could not progress unless he complied, Subaru turned around.
Heat hit him, causing him to flinch and for a moment he had to remind himself that this was all just a dream and that the hellish wall of fire, that he instinctively knew stretched for forever, wasn't real.
"Fire?" he whispered.
"Terrifying isn't it?"
His stare slid sideways and next to him he found Kamui. Just like the first time they had met, within the confines of Kamui's mind, the boy was once again a young child. This time, however, given Subaru's own apparent age-reversal, they were a little more eye-level and Subaru couldn't help but feel that he had lost his role as a guide to the younger boy.
Kamui glanced at him, violet eyes glittering in the firelight. "Fire set my destiny into motion. It burned my past to ashes." Subaru remained silent, listening intently for some sort of clue that could help him understand this dream. "I was happy once," Kamui said simply. "Just a happy, normal little boy."
The Sumeragi felt a surge of protectiveness run through him. "I'm sorry that destiny has been so cruel to us all," he said bitterly.
Kamui stared at him for a long moment, before turning back to gaze upon the inferno. "Don't be. By living in the past we cannot move forwards. Besides," Kamui's clear violet eyes were once again upon him. "Who's to say that we cannot be happy again someday?"
Subaru's throat went dry. "I…" He sighed, suddenly tired despite being asleep. "Too much has happened. We- I could never be happy again."
The look in Kamui's eyes grew far too wise. "The clock is ticking. You must burn your past to ashes and walk forwards. You will not know what your role is until you have played it, but once you have perhaps you can find the contentment that you are too afraid to admit you are seeking." Kamui- The Kamui- walked forwards, nearing the fire. "Destiny has called for you, Sumeragi Subaru and you will answer."
With a roar of hissing flames, out of the fire rose two great wings, as black as obsidian and shaped like a bat's, stretching out to devour what Subaru perceived to be the sky, tips touching the horizon.
"But do not forget," Kamui spoke once again, voice somehow carrying over the crackling flames and the clock that seemed louder than before, and Kamui… Kamui suddenly seemed different, though Subaru could not identify how. "Though you may doubt it," the boy continued, "you are not alone." And with that, the wall leapt forwards, seizing the childish figure and consuming him.
"Kamui!" Subaru screamed, the hysterical, child's voice so unlike his own and yet his all the same. He lurched forwards, fingers reaching out though he knew that it was far too late.
The wings swept forwards, bringing the fire with them and Subaru could only throw his arms over his head and cower as the flames enveloped him.
Since he was sixteen years old, Subaru had dreamed of cherry blossoms, but at the age of twenty-four, Subaru dreamt of fire.
It was as Subaru was finishing his fifth cigarette that Kamui emerged, hair as wayward as ever and eyes heavy.
"What are you doing up?" he said before Subaru had a chance to ask the exact same thing.
Subaru shrugged instead. "I woke up early," he lied, stubbing out his cigarette.
"Oh," Kamui muttered as he moved forwards to slump into one of the chairs near the elder. Subaru expected them to fall back into their usual comfortable silence, but Kamui seemed slightly on edge. "Have you noticed that we never watch the television? It's like we've lost touch with the world that we're trying to save." He let out a tiny, humourless laugh. "Weird, huh?"
Subaru stared at him; not understanding where the sudden desire to connect with the outside world was coming from. "Kamui?"
The younger seal glanced at him, before looking back to where his fingers fidgeted with the seam of his jeans. "I had a weird dream and it made me think…" He trailed off, feeling self conscious. "It's nothing. Just a silly dream."
Subaru shifted, unease blossoming within him. "What happened?"
Kamui blinked and looked up in surprise, confused as to why someone so unwilling to delve into personal matters was interested in his strange dreams. For a reason he could not place, his heart sped up. "It's nothing, honestly, Subaru. You've done enough for me already."
"What happened?" Subaru interrupted, a little more firmly this time.
The younger shrugged and looked away once more. "I don't really know how to explain it. It was dark and there was this ticking sound, and Fuma was there and… Kotori," the last part was nothing more than a whisper. He cleared his throat. "And then there was… another boy. He… I don't know how, but I knew he was you, even though he was only young. His- your eyes were so green they almost glowed, but… I don't know. He responded when I called your name, though he seemed so different to you, and yet the exact same." Kamui struggled to make sense of his own words. He did not need to try, however, since Subaru was swallowing heavily as a chill ran down his spine and a sick feeling rose in his throat. "And he told me-" Kamui blushed, though he tried to disguise it by tipping his head forwards to let his hair fall across his face, "that he would save me, and that I had to answer destiny and that I wasn't alone." Kamui seemed to have finished, when suddenly he remembered one, final detail, "Oh! And there was a huge fire." His eyes glazed in remembrance. "I dreamt of fire."
Time is moving once again.
"Kamui…" Said boy looked up expectantly and Subaru's voice caught in his throat. "I… I'm going out for a while," he said instead.
Kamui looked both inexplicably disappointed and relieved, but Subaru swore that in that moment, as he fled, he could hear the ticking of a clock.
Subaru awoke with a start, staring at the ceiling with wide emerald eyes and heavy breath. Only seconds after, he felt Kamui stir, wrapped around him as he was (or was it Kamui who was wrapped around him?) and he held himself deathly still, knowing already that it was too late to feign sleep.
"Subaru?" Kamui asked as he hovered over his twin, sensing easily that the other was awake.
He sighed and opened his eyes. "Don't worry, Kamui. Go back to sleep."
"What happened?" Kamui said, ignoring the weak reassurance.
Subaru shivered at a fleeting sense of déjà vu. "I don't remember, Kamui. I can just remember… fire." He shrugged then, previous fear gone along with the memories as he took comfort instead, in the dim warmth of his brother's body pressed up against his.
Kamui searched green eyes in the dim light for any signs of worry, but upon finding nothing but a sleepy contentment, he leaned in to press a kiss to his twin's cheek and settled back down.
Subaru stared at the ceiling for a few more minutes, trying to snatch at vague images, but eventually his eyes grew too heavy and he settled back into sleep.
Though, despite the fact that he was probably imagining it, he was sure that somewhere in the back of his mind, he could hear a clock ticking.
I wasn't going to post this, but I thought that I may as well. No harm in trying to help out a fandom. heart