The Thirteenth Labor of Heracles

As Heracles strode proudly through the doors of Prince Eurystheus' castle with Cerebus right behind him, the startled prince almost fell out of his seat.

"H-H-Heracles," he stammered, "Back so soon?"

Cerebus barked viciously and clawed at Eurystheus' throne.

"Come now, Cerebus. Sit." commanded Heracles. "And yes, I am back. Now where is my family? This was my twelfth labor, and you promised you would set them free."

"Ah, yes. But that was before. I have now found another item I desire. You see, my court musicians are not… fulfilling my requirements." Eurystheus sneered. "Your final task will be to go into the future and get me an iPod."

"An iPod? What's that?" asked Heracles.

"An iPod," said Eurystheus, "Is a magical device that lets you listen to pre-recorded professional music, anytime, anywhere!!!"

"You vile snake!" yelled Heracles.

"Remember, my servant; your family is on the line." Said Eurystheus.

"Fine," Heracles had been defeated. He sighed, "I'll get your dumb music player!" And with that, the stormed out the door, as mad as a wet hen.

Heracles followed Eurystheus' instructions, and climbed Mount Olympus. On the tallest peak, he found a wormhole opening the gateway to the future.

"Well, here goes nothing." Heracles bravely said.

He closed his eyes and jumped into the wormhole. After opening his eyes, Heracles found himself in an electronics store.

"Erm, can I help you?" asked a man in an apron. He was staring strangely at Heracles' toga.

"Yes. I would like to purchase an iPod." Said Heracles.

"Right this way." The man ushered Heracles into an aisle lined with shiny rectangles in boxes.

"Ooooh… shiny!" Heracles ogled at all the beautiful boxes. He picked a pretty pink one off a nearby shelf.

"Now, will you be paying with cash or a credit card?" asked the aproned man.

"What's a credit card?" inquired Heracles.

"OK, cash it is then." The man was not ready to explain the complex workings of high finance to some freak in a toga. Instead, he held the iPod over a red light and held out his hand. Heracles shook it.

"No, it's not to shake. You owe me $200." Said the aproned man.

"Will this cover it?" asked Heracles, pulling 10 freshly cut diamonds out of his pocket.

The man's eyes widened. "Oh, yes sir!" he gasped.

So Heracles took the iPod back through the wormhole to Eurystheus.

"Amazing! You actually completed my task!" he exclaimed.

"Ahem." Heracles cleared his throat.

"Right," said Eurystheus, "I suppose you may have your family back."

Heracles whirled around and saw his wife and children standing there, beaming.

"Thank you, almighty Eurystheus!" said Heracles.

"No problem." The prince said.

And everyone lived happily ever after.

THE END