Title: Delusions

Pairing: Gankutsuou/Haydee (er, the Count.)

Rating: K/G

Word Count: 219 (that's 19 words more than my 200-word-drabble kind of thing.)

A/N: Ah, I just had to take a break from yaoi first. Ack. My first het fic in a long time (and it's a drabble, dear god.) So here.

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It had become apparent, so says she, that this, everything, has been her fault. If only she hadn't—

—she cannot speak the word, the word that had become so inaudible for her ears, because she does not believe in that word, she does not believe in it any longer.

Not after the one she loved has died because of her.

But once a human being gets to think about it, it's really only a little cycle that nature goes through—life, death. But then, just a few years earlier, it was he who had made her live, he who made her survive, he who nurtured her to his end, and yet it was she who had killed him indirectly.

She had come to love her more than a brother, definitely more than a father. She trapped herself in the delusion that it was only paternal love she felt, and yet when she had realized her mistake, it was a realization too late.

She had cried endlessly since then, even after no tears can be shed any longer, and her heart pained more and more whenever she was reminded of the fact that he was dead.

Because no matter what she fooled herself to believe, she was just in-love with him. And that won't change, not even through death.