Pony: Here's a Contestshipping parody for all! This parody is also dedicated to a couple of friends of mine that have written or are writing Contestshipping parodies themselves and who are also great reviewers of mine.

Disclaimer Dude: Not that I'm complaining, but what about your other fanfictions?

Pony: Shhhhh! They're sleeping.

Disclaimer Dude: ... My fault for asking.

Pony: Disclaimer Dude! Do your disclaiming!

Disclaimer Dude: Pony doesn't own Poke'mon or any references that may appear in this story.

Misadventures in Johto

Chapter One: Beware, People of Johto! May Has Arrived!

May arrived at the shores of Olivine City ready to begin her exciting journey to the Johto Grand Festival (either that or terrorize the poor vulnerable people of Johto with her hyper May powers of hyper Mayness! Bwahahahahahaha!). Before going straight to the Poke'mon Center to rent a room like a certain green-haired coordinator would have done, May took the time to glomp a random unsuspecting Shuckle that was juggling berries. Next, she went window shopping. There, May decided to taste the double-glazed windows to find out if they were anything like the double-glazed doughnuts that were served on the ferry. Then, after May was thrown out, she toured the towering lighthouse and met Amphy the lovable Ampharos that kept the lighthouse lit(and schooled Poke'mon on how to juggle berries. The Poke'mon it taught were sworn to juggle only berries or they shall face the ultimate punishment, which is unknown as of now).

"Oooohhh... pretty...!" May gasped in awe at Amphy's glowing tail as she was drawn to it like prey to a Lanturn.

Amphy eventually grew annoyed after a while of May poking the glowing orb at the end of its tail. It trapped May inside of a giant tuna-flavored watermelon(don't ask how Amphy did it. I really don't know) and tossed her out the window where she finally landed on an overgrown Roselia. The impact caused the watermelon to break open, releasing May. Roselia had fainted from being squashed by an abnormally large and abnormally flavored watermelon and was tended by none other than Drew.

"I'll get you back to the Poke'mon Center soon, Roselia," Drew said to Roselia. The Absol and Butterfree following suit looked at their master as if he was becoming mildly insane. They figured that he knew Roselia didn't hear him due to being unconscious.

When May saw Drew next to her, her excitement grew the size of Mt. Rushmore with each of the president heads wearing a sombrero(except for Theodore Roosevelt. He was wearing a cowboy hat. You see, on that very day at the monument, a competition was being held for the young children. If they could guess which one was different, they would win a brand new convertible with an engine made entirely made out of cheese! Their greedy parents took the new car and since the engine didn't work, they ended up in an accident and sued the people who gave away the car. They won't be doing that ever again.), then her face fell when she realized what had happened.

"I'm so sorry, Roselia!" May apologized to Roselia's unconscious self.

Absol and Butterfree had suspected that May was already mildly insane.

"Roselia?" May had already forgotten that Roselia had been knocked out and she poked her, "Wakey, wakey."

"May, stop that," Drew commanded in an annoyed, but soft tone.

"Yes, Master Drew," May stopped poking Roselia.

"Thank you," Drew withdrew Roselia into her poke'ball and he rose from his kneeling position.

Then a Poke'mon pounced on May and began to lick up the bits of watermelon that stuck to her. It wasn't just any Poke'mon, it was a Persian. It wasn't just any Persian, it was a shiny Persian. It wasn't just any shiny Persian, it was a well-bred shiny Persian. May giggled happily as the sleek and beautiful snowy white Persian licked her face.

"RAMSES! NO!" a female voice boomed from a distance. The shiny Persian instantly obeyed and approached his mistress.

The female trainer donned a pink outfit worn by every traditional princess of the desert. She wore a very thin see-through veil that barely passed her chin. A necklace of platinum gold encrusted with real diamonds threatened to strangle her if tightened anymore. She was bound with bracelets and anklets of pure gold. Her hair was long and black and silky, her skin was very tanned from the beating of the desert sun, and her eyes a fiery golden brown that glared wisps of flames when angered.

"You don't know where that thing has been!" the young woman pointed at May while scolding at Ramses.

"Hey!" May yelled angrily and she scrambled to her feet.

"IT'S ALIVE!" the desert-bred female person shrieked in horror. Ramses jumped up and clung onto his trainer.

" I am NOT a thing!" May bellowed. Foam began forming at the corners of her mouth.

"AND IT'S RABID!" the young lady shrieked in horror again. Ramses clung onto his owner even tighter.

"You have no idea," Drew blurted in an attempt to receive some attention from May, but was ignored. Poor Drew.

"I am NOT rabid!" May's eye twitched and she wiped away the foam.

A Krabby scuttled by May and used Water Gun to wash away the bits of watermelon. After no traces of watermelon could be found on her body, the Krabby happily accepted a Poke'block as a tip and it scuttled off before it was captured by a random trainer and traded for a Fisher's Voltorb.

Ramses' grip loosened and he let himself down onto the ground after he and his mistress realized that May wasn't a horrible screaming rabid watermelon monster of doom.

"Oh, it's a girl," the woman stated the obvious dully, "Come, Ramses, we have infinitely more important things to do other than socialize with commoners."

"Peeeeerrrsian," Ramses purred and they went on their way strutting gracefully as if they had come from royalty. Well, they kind of did decend from royalty, but miss authoress does not feel like explaining it.

May was astonished on how the young woman she encountered had treated her as if she was some kind of filthy peasant that was still stuck in the days of King Arthur. Drew took an immediate dislike to the woman for talking like that about May.

"Don't worry about her, May," Drew attempted to consol May who had only seconds ago curled up into a ball on the ground and began whimpering like a lost Growlithe pup, "She's just another one of those meanie-heads you should never listen to."

May immediately looked up at Drew from her fetal position and gave him a questioning facial expression, "Do you really think that, Drew?"

"Yeah...," Drew raised a brow at May's strange behavior, " May...?"

"Yeah?" May looked from the cursing rock(that's right, a cursing rock.) that she was poking.

"Are you feeling... all right?" Drew asked worriedly.

"Oh! Don't tell me! I know this one!" the rusty cogs in May's head struggled to turn as she pondered. Her eyes brightened up in somewhat realization and she sprang to her feet, "What is 1925?"

"Maybe we should go inside," Drew suggested as his shoulder pointed in the direction of the Poke'mon Center.

"Okay!" May chirped as she followed Drew to the Poke'mon Center with Absol and Butterfree following suit.

I think Master Drew's future mate has completely lost her mind, Absol said to Butterfree.

I agree, Butterfree nodded.