Disclaimer: Kishimoto pwns them all!

A/N Aaaand…here it is: the last chapter of the Usuratonkachi Chronicles. I had a lot of fun writing them, and I am pretty sad to see them become a finished work.

Shameless Plugging: If you want more of my writing, come and read my other fic: In The Right Arms. It's a romantic yaoi story, but it has its funny moments. Lots of it. :D

Summary: Shino and Shika walk and talk. Who, Shino? Shino and Shika, not a yaoi pairing

USURATONKACHI

The 20-minute Route from the Hyuuga Manor to the Subway Station

Shino and Shikamaru just left Neji's house after suspecting something happening between Kiba and Neji and catching them red-handed. They could've gotten a ride from one of Neji's chauffeurs, but Shino insisted on walking and enjoying the beautiful weather. Shikamaru wasn't too happy about Shino's insistence but it was too troublesome to argue. Besides, it wasn't like Neji was offering. He was too busy exploring Kiba's tonsils.

Shika had his arms folded against the back of his head. "I don't understand why we had to walk. Good weather my ass Shino. You're the one wearing a frickin' turtleneck."

Surprisingly, Shino answered. Normally he wouldn't have justified himself because of such a mundane slur, but since it was Shikamaru, he spoke up anyway. "I wanted to leave the premises immediately."

Shika raised an eyebrow. "You have homophobia?! I never thought that you even thought about those things. Whatever happened to 'I don't care'? Did the hypocritical Kiba rub off on you? "

"I wanted to give them time to…acquaint more with each other. Asking Neji if we could have a ride would've disrupted their time together. I do not become swayed by other peoples' opinions, Kiba most certainly did not persuade me in any way." Shino continued to look in front of him while talking, unlike Shikamaru, whose eyes were trained to whoever he was speaking to.

Shino and Shikamaru are the smart and observant ones in the group, really. They imagine that Neji would've been as passive as they were if it weren't for the fact that he was…well, gay. Neji went to a lot of homosexual support groups and comes back from them somewhat more outgoing than the last time. He hasn't reached the point of cross-dressing though. At least not yet.

"Whatever. I think Kiba hangs out too much with Naruto. Look at how Neji duped him. No sweat!" Shikamaru said.

"I highly doubt it. I suspect that Kiba would have had a fairly ample amount of inkling if he was paying more attention. I believe his reaction to be spontaneous. Or perhaps his subconscious mind was telling him to believe Neji because he knows that Neji is a smart person." Shino explained.

"Yeah. We always knew they'd end up together. It's just so obvious."

Shikamaru was the only one Shino would frequently talk to like this. He barely spoke to anyone else outside their little group, and Shikamaru was the only one who understood Shino most of the time. Heck, Shika was the only one who listened.

They'd known for quite some time now that there was an underlying spark between Kiba and Neji. They even noticed Naruto's deep-rooted infatuation with Sasuke and Sasuke's stolen glances at Naruto. Shikamaru told Neji about his and Shino's assumptions about Naruto and Sasuke, but left Neji in the dark about his blatant (at least to Shika and Shino) crush on Kiba.

They passed by a vending machine. "We're almost there." Shikamaru said.

"…"

And here Shino started his quiet treatment.

"Hey, what happened to you? Just a minute ago you were talking about all the Neji and Kiba spontaneous stuff or something." Shikamaru said. He looked at a silent Shino.

"…"

"Ah. I know what this is…this is the silent treatment."

"Stop talking then."

"HAH! This is record time. It didn't even last for 5 minutes."

"…"

"You know, usually you shut up if I said something offensive. I remember saying 'we're almost there'. How is that offensive?"

"You insinuated stupidity on my part. I know we were almost there." Shikamaru could swear that Shino was almost pouting underneath the turtleneck

"Surely you wouldn't have taken that so seriously!"

"I did." Shit, now Shino was really pouting. Shikamaru can just sense it.

"What the hell Shino?"

"Nothing." Shino walked over to a vending machine and bought a chocolate bar.

"Are you on your fucking period?!" Shikamaru blurted.

"Shut up."

"What are you doing Shino? I'm pretty sure you're straighter than a fucking ruler!"

"Some rulers are flexible."

"What are you saying, you're jealous of what Kiba and Neji were doing?"

"Did I say that?" Shino looked at Shikamaru and frowned.

"I bet you were thinking it." Shikamaru crossed his arms defiantly.

"Oh, so you read minds now." Shino said sarcastically.

"Yes. I know you best!"

"So?"

"So…nothing!" Shikamaru looked away and stopped talking.

After quite a lengthy period of silence, Shino spoke up.

"You're asexual, aren't you?" Shika was surprised that Shino would start a conversation, not to mention it was about sexuality.

"NO!"

"You're not gay, you're not straight. What are you?"

"I'm…bisexual!"

"Uh-huh. Prove it." Shikamaru could swear that he could see an evil glint past Shino's sunglasses.

"…" Now it was Shikamaru's turn to be quiet.

"I thought so." Shino walked stopped walking and turned.

Shikamaru snapped back to his senses. "Wait! Where are you going?"

Shino didn't reply and continued walking the opposite way.

"Shino! The subway station is this way!" An exasperated Shikamaru followed Shino. They stopped by a black sedan. Shino got in.

"Neji told me that if I confirm your sexuality, I get a ride. To the best restaurant in town. His treat." Shino proceeded to close the door but Shikamaru stopped him.

"You didn't confirm my sexuality! I am not asexual!" Shikamaru worriedly glanced at the driver, but the man couldn't hear what they were talking about. There was a glass window separating the driver from the passenger in the back.

"I did not assume that you were asexual."

"THEN WHAT AM I?"

"You're gay."

"…" Shikamaru's face paled considerably.

Shino smirked. "Do you have anyone in mind."

"You." Shikamaru looked over at his companion with glazed eyes. It was Shino's turn to become pale.

"…" Shino said nothing as Shikamaru started sniggering quietly. His laughter slowly became louder and more uncontrollable.

"We shall never speak of this again. We don't have to tell Neji." Shino finally said.

"Indeed." Shikamaru opened the separating the driver from the passengers and said, "Mr. Driver, to the best restaurant in town please. McDonald's."

"WHAT?! I don't want Mickey D's!" Shino said, stopping the driver.

"Fine you big baby. Chuck E. Cheese then."

"NO!"

Seriously. Sequels are usually never as good as the first one. Ne?

This fic kinda had a mind of its own…I didn't know what else to write. And just to clear things up, Shikamaru was gay…not sure if he likes Shino…'cause as I said, this fic had a mind of its own. I think they're faygele, gay for each other. I got that from Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle.

Anyways. Enough of my ranting. I hope you enjoyed my little oneshot-turned-trilogy. Until next time!

Ja!