Chapter 5 : The Way You Left Me

Beast boy trudged into the tower after yet another long day of searching. He didn't bother to greet his friends as he past by the living room door. He could hear them all cheering on some sports game on TV. The announcer's excited tone about some goal electrocuted the room, sending even more cheers up. He sighed and passed right on by without so much as a whisper to them.

His room was his haven to go when he wanted rest. It was where he spent most of his time when he didn't feel up to socializing. Since he quit the Titans, his spare time doubled. Today though, it wasn't his room he needed. He was only guaranteed a few hours at the most of alone time if he spent them in his room. Sooner or later, one of his former team mates would come by and check in on him. He didn't really mind it. It was nice to know they cared so much to look after him even after he left the team.

No, today, he needed solitude. It was after all, his anniversary.

His room was where he lived to be alone.

It was her room he went to when he needed an escape.

The door slide open with a loud whoosh. He walked into the room and felt the cold air hit him. The familiar room felt strange now without her. She left everything behind. All her books, cloths, and personal items. All of them were where she left them. He sat down on the bed and fell back into the sheets. The smell of her was long gone. Though, he always hoped it would creep back up and hit him. He missed the smell of her lavender shampoo. He missed the look of contentment on her face when they lay side by side after their coupling. He missed the sound of her voice and the touch of her skin.

He missed her.

And, today of all days was just another silly reminder of her absence. It was their first anniversary of being together. A silly Earth ceremony, she would have said. Though inside, she would have been reveling in it as much as he was.

He turned to his side and reached for her pillow. Pulling it close, he looked back in his memories and relived the moments they shared.

Beast boy fell forward, breathing hard from their exertion. Rolling on his back, he stretched his arm out as an invitation for her. Raven rolled toward him and lifted herself up to look at him. Her hair was a mess thanks to his possessive hands. Her cheeks flushed from their activities. She gave him a small smile. The sound of a pop indicated the death of another light bulb. Which was an upgrade to the many lamps, windows, and doors her powers had demolished.

"That was nice," she said, breaking the silence. Her voice held a small hint of satisfaction.

He had to hold back a laugh. Nice was a far cry away from the beginning. They had gotten better. They had been together for a good five months. And, what a great five months that had been. The physical part didn't come right after, but it didn't take long for it to creep up. Beast boy was hesitant to put Raven in such a spot. It surprised him at how forth coming she had been. And, not to mention, how surprisingly okay she was with taking their relationship to that level. It warmed Beast boy's heart to know that she trusted him in that capacity especially considering her unemotional tendencies. On the contrary, Beast boy seemed to bring out so much in her that was rarely seen by the world.

It was behind closed doors, he got to see her smiles and hear her laugh. It was there he got to see how uninhibited she could become. It was there, she was truly his. Only his.

"It was," he agreed as he rubbed the small of her neck. "Do you think we'll ever get sick of it? Of this?" he couldn't help but ask.

Raven pondered that for a moment. A smile crept on her lips. "No."

Beast boy remembered that day like it was the night before. It was a typical Saturday and they were off duty. It was spent between the sheets and in each others arms, conversing while engaging in their sport of passion. He breathed in the pillow and choked back a sob. It didn't smell like her. He knew it wouldn't. Part of him wished it did, so he could remember her. Another part was sort of relieved it didn't, because it wasn't just her smell he longed for. It was her. All of her.

He would never stop looking, he resolved.

Never.

His resolve was what kept him going. He sat at street corners every week, asking people if they had seen her. If they had at least heard of her. He never got much other than they knew she was a Titan.

Was.

He clenched his fists. She up and left. That made him a little angry. Instead of choosing to come forth to him with her troubles, she ran. He wanted to believe it was for a good cause. Raven would never just disappear if it didn't have some deep hidden meaning.

The note she left was vague.

A force greater than anything was after her?

The only way to keep him safe was to leave him?

And, that is exactly what she did. She left. For six long months, he agonized over the reasons. She was gone and each passing day, it was more clear: She was never going to return.

'How could she do this?' he asked himself constantly. 'We were a team! It was me and her against the world!'

Or so he thought.

Sitting up, he shook his head. Raven left for a good reason. He was certain of it. Deciding that time alone was not the best option, Beast boy left the room. He found his former team mates in the kitchen, preparing what appeared to be a late dinner. Starfire was mindlessly stirring a big pot of soup at the stove. Cyborg and Kid Flash sat at the table with a case of beer and a bag of chips open in front of them. They were in deep conversation about the next big NASCAR race.

"Hey Beast boy," a voice broke the conversation. Silence filled the room and every eye was on him. Aqualad appeared from his left, raising his hand in a greeting. "Nice to see you out and about. How are you?"

He cringed. He hated the tones they used for him. It was like they were afraid he was going to melt when he heard the wrong question. He kept his cool and offered a warm smile in return. "Yeah, I was out most of the day."

They all knew what that meant, of course. He could tell by the looks they gave him. Starfire turned back to the stove. "Had you not gone out yesterday as well, Friend Beast boy?" she asked, emphasizing on the word 'out'.

Beast boy scratched the back of his head as he made his way to the table. He took the can of beer Cyborg offered and quickly made a place for himself beside his friends. "Yeah," he answered, hoping that would be the end of the discussion.

To his relief, it was. He listened as his friends carried on their conversation. He offered his input when he felt it was appropriate, but for the most part, observed more than participated. That was how it was now. His friends carried on with their lives while his thoughts would venture back to the dark empath.

He looked over at her spot at the table. It was rarely used anymore. Mostly because he would freak out when anyone would sit there. He pictured her sitting there with her cup in her hands, pretending not to listen. She'd look up when she could feel his gaze on her. A glare would turn into a soft smile. That was their typical exchange when they had the Titan's as an audience.

"I'm heading out everyone," Robin's voice cut in. The boy wonder wiped through the kitchen in a flash. Stopping only to give his beloved a kiss on the cheek.

"Where to?" Starfire asked.

"The docks," he said. "I have a lead on Dr Light. A tip came in about some new experiment he's working on in one of the boats. I'm going to check in on it."

"Well, maybe I should go with you," Aqualad offered. "The sea is my speciality."

Robin regarded him for a second before shaking his head. "I don't want to alert him. This is going to be a observation assignment. I'm not planning on confronting him. I will probably be out most of the night, though." he said, mostly to Starfire, who gave him a worried glance.

"Are you sure you do not require any of our assistance?" she asked as he placed small kiss on her cheek in farewell. "It is no trouble."

"No, I'll be fine," he assured her in a tone that stated the end of the discussion.

Beast boy watched as his former leader hurried out of the door with not so much as a good bye. It wasn't unlike Robin to go off without the rest of the Titans on missions. Beast boy couldn't help but note the urgency in his effort to keep the others away. The two had grown apart in the last few months. Mostly on their view of Raven's whereabouts. Robin was sure that Raven had left the city completely. He was also positive that she was never returning. An opinion that always left Beast boy with a sour taste in his mouth. To think that their leader would be so quick to dismiss their team mate – their friend.

A red light flashed above him. Kid Flash opened his pocket computer to read the alert. "Seems that the the chemical lab has been broken into," he informed them.

Aqualad gave a sigh and sat up. "I'll go get dressed and meet you guys there."

Cyborg downed the rest of his drink before getting up. "Well, so much for dinner!" He gave a glance at Beast boy. "You coming?" he asked with a little ray of hope.

Beast boy shook his head. He wasn't a Titan anymore. This was no longer his job. He watched as his friends left. Sitting in the empty kitchen, he sighed at the realization that he was truly at a loss.

He left the kitchen in hopes of finding the television distraction. Sitting back on the cushions of the couch, he mindlessly flipped through stations, stopping for a moment on one show before continuing on to the next channel. Once he completed a full round and ended back on the station he started, he turned off the TV and tossed the remote aside. It was all for nothing, he thought. The big romantic story of theirs was just a lie. And, it has come to an end.

Beast boy stood up and headed for the big window that looked out at Jump City. The sun was beginning to set and the city lights flickered on almost all at once. Perhaps it was time to put it all behind him. She was gone. And quite possibly would never return. The only thing that gnawed at him was the question of why? Why had she disappeared so suddenly? The cryptic note was his only clue, but it was nothing but short good bye with no explanation.

He bit down on the nail of his thumb. What had troubled Raven so much that she felt the need to leave. Had been the one in trouble, surely she would have turned to the team. He had memorized the note. He read over each line over and over again.

A force that was bigger than her. Something was after her.

He shook his head. No, he thought. She would have told her if she was in trouble. He was sure of it. And the debate had gone on and on in his mind for the last six months.

She left to protect the team.

To protect him.

The burning question stirred in his mind. It wasn't the first time. It wouldn't be the last. Not until he found her. Until he had her body under him again; safe. Until he could smell her sweet aroma and hear her soothing voice. His love. His soul mate.

He placed a hand on the glass, feeling a tear burn in the corner of his eye. "Why did you leave me, Raven?"

"To keep me away from you!" a snarling voice shot from behind.

It happened too fast for Beast boy to register the movements. First there was nothing in the reflection of the glass, then suddenly a face appeared almost out of nowhere. He moved to turn, but it was too late. He never had a chance. He felt the force of the blow on the back of his neck before everything went dark. The image of Raven flashing behind his eyes. Then, there was nothing.

****Author's Notes****

Hope everyone enjoyed the chapter. I'm trying really hard to update sooner and trying to add more in the chapters. It's been tough with a new baby and new job, so I am trying to squeeze in stuff when I can. Keep the reviews coming because I like feedback and the positive remarks – tey keep me going!