Too Many Shegos

By Galaxy1001D

Kim Possible and other Disney characters are © Disney Co.

Chapter One: We Need to Level the Playing Field

This story takes place shortly after the events of "Tick, Tick, Tick".

In his Caribbean lair, Doctor Drakken was monitoring his sidekick's progress. "I'm in," came a feminine voice over the radio. "Which way?"

Doctor Drakken examined the blueprints to the Silicon Valley technological facility that Shego was burglarizing. "About ten meters to your right," he said softly. "Turn at the next intersection and head another five meters until you reach a grate."

"These ventilation ducts are a tight squeeze," Shego complained quietly. "I'm stuck—no wait, I'm all right. I see the intersection up ahead."

"Once you get the Heisenburg Trinary Processor we will be able to use the Positronic Matrix System to its fullest capacity!" Drakken gloated. "We will be able to take over any computer in the world! Norad, the CIA, MI6, all of their computers will be open books to Doctor Drakken!" His voice rose in volume as he became more excited. "I'll be able to force the world to surrender or else I'll launch every nuclear missile on the planet! Ha-ha-ha!"

"Will you be quiet?" The radio hissed at him. "I'm trying to be sneaky here!"

"Oh," Drakken lowered his voice to a whisper. "Sorry Shego." He tried to regain his professional demeanor. "Don't want to get caught. Keep an eye out for Team Impossible, Global Justice, or…" At that moment, a grate on the ceiling was opened and out jumped a redheaded girl in a black shirt and khaki cargo pants. "…Kim Possible?"

"We're in the market for Positronic Matrix Systems," the teenager smirked. "Got any?"

"We?" said the azure villain.

Suddenly a blonde boy in a black sweater and grey cargo pants tumbled out of the vent, his leg caught in a rope. A naked mole rat fell out of his pocket and he was suspended upside down, his head only inches from the floor. The hairless rodent squeaked as it hit the ground. "Yow!" he exclaimed. "Boy, those ventilation ducts are a tight squeeze," The boy groaned. "And don't forget her sidekick, Ron Stoppable!" he abruptly declared.

"Are you alright?" asked Kim as she attempted to extricate her friend from his predicament.

"Kim, I'm fine," said Ron. "Don't worry about me! Look out for the self-activating lasers and the woman who tried to take your nose off!"

"What's going on?" Asked the voice on the radio. "Doctor Drakken, what's happening?"

"Shego! Kim Possible is here!" The mad scientist cried into the microphone. "Get back here at once!"

"Uh, Doctor Dee," said Shego's voice. "You know I'm in California, right? It's gonna be a while."

"Ngrah!" Drakken choked back a cry. "Fine! I'll deal with Kim Possible and the sidekick myself!"

"As if," sneered Kim.

"Was that a shot?" Ron asked Drakken.

"Yeah," protested the naked mole rat.

"Ron, find the Positronic Matrix System," ordered Kim. "I'll deal with Drakken."

"You mean you're the distraction this time?" Ron asked. "Gravy!" He gave a 'thumbs-up' sign.

"Ron!" Kim snapped.

"I'm on it Kay-pee!" The boy and his strange pet ran off. "Let's go, Rufus!"

"Ah-huh, Roger that," chirped the bald rodent.

"Okay, Drakken—" Kim turned to face her foe, and then did a double take. "What is that on your arms?"

"My portable pneumonic piledrivers!" The blue bad guy proudly announced. His arms were inside strange metal braces that were connected to a bulky backpack by cables. Wires, micropistons and little motors competed with leather straps for the goal of concealing his arms from view. His hands were completely hidden by wicked looking piledrivers that extended the length of his appendages by about twelve inches. "Bring it on!"

"Get her, Doctor Dee!" cried Shego's voice from the radio. "I still owe her for Bueno Nacho!"

"Ha!" Drakken's arms came down and cracked the stone floor as Kim leaped backwards out of the way. Chips of rubble clattered as he struggled with his bulky apparatus to take another swing at her. The unwieldy weapons covering his arms greatly increased his strength at the cost of his speed and dexterity. Kim was able to jump, dodge, and evade his blows by using cheerleading moves that she had adapted for hand-to-hand combat. Shego's voice could be heard shouting words of advice and encouragement. Whenever Drakken missed, a piece of equipment, furniture or wall would go flying, usually with an earsplitting crash.

Ron was perplexed by all of the computer hard drives and electronic components that he had found at a worktable. "Uh, which one is it?" He asked his little pet.

"Um, I dunno," shrugged Rufus.

"The one in the red casing marked 'Positronic Matrix System Drive'," called Kim as she dodged another of Drakken's blows.

"Oh, right, got it!" said Ron as he picked it up and ran back to the rope dangling from the open ventilation duct, his pink pet scurrying after him.

"Ha!" Drakken crowed in triumph. "I've got you now Kim Possible!" he gloated as a smiling Kim backed into a corner filled with computer consoles and large wall mounted monitors.

"Watch out Doctor Dee!" called Shego's voice from a speaker as Rufus tied the Positronic Matrix System to the rope and Ron climbed up back into the vent. "She's tricky!"

"I can handle it, Shego," Drakken growled, his eyes never leaving Kim Possible. "I don't need you here." He flexed his right arm, took a deep breath and swung at the insolent cheerleader…

...Only to see her jump right over his head as his portable pneumonic piledriver tore through a computer monitor. Cerulean forks of lightning crackled as the electrical current traveled out of the damaged screen and up Drakken's arm. Strange comical noises burbled out of the sinister scientist as he shuddered and spasmed.

"Well, we gotta get this to Doctor Soong," smirked Kim as she jumped up into the vent. She looked down at Drakken as she pulled up Rufus and the futuristic hard drive into the duct with her. "It's been fun. 'Bye."

Drakken managed to grunt in frustration as the cheerleader disappeared with his hard drive. "Kim…Possible…" he growled through clenched teeth as the current raced up and down his arm, paralyzing him and causing his wild black hair to stand up. "…You…think…you're…all…that…but…you're…not!" With a heroic effort he pulled himself free as the monitor exploded, scattering plastic, wire, and silicon fragments on him.

As he lay on the floor trying to catch his breath and get his stiff limbs to move, he heard Shego's voice whisper from the radio. "Hey, Doctor Dee…I'm stuck!"

Drakken shut his eyes and howled in frustration.

(Beep-Beep, De-Deep)

Ooohh yeahh yeah

I'm your basic average girl

And I'm here to save the world

You can't stop me

Cause I'm Kim Pos-si-ble

There is nothin' I can't do
When danger calls
Just know that I am on my way (know that I am on my way)

It doesn't matter where or when there's trouble
If ya just call my name
Kim Possible
Whenever you need me baby
Call me, beep me if ya wanna reach me

Chorus
Call me, beep me if ya wanna reach me
When ya wanna page me it's okay

Ron: Kim!

Doesn't matter where
Doesn't matter when
I will be there for ya til the very end
Danger or trouble
I'm there on the double
You know that you always can call
Kim Possible

(Beep-Beep, De-Deep)

Kim: So what's the sitch?

Call me, beep me if ya wanna reach me.

As the sun rose on Drakken's Caribbean lair, the blue scientist's complaints scared away the seagulls. "It's slipshod is what it is!" The cyanic psychopath cried. "While you were gallivanting off in sunny California, Kim Possible came in here and took the Positronic Matrix System!"

"Hey," protested Shego. "I'm the one who stole it for you in the first place! I wasn't off getting my hair done, I was on the clock!"

"You could have got back here faster," he griped.

"Look, Drakken, I was in California!" She glared into his eyes. "Even if I wasn't, I was stuck in a ventilation duct. You don't exactly win speed records crawling through a space barely big enough to fit your head through."

"You can make all the excuses you want," grumbled Drakken. "The point is, that now I don't have the PMS!"

"Oh, I think you've got PMS, all right." Shego crossed her arms and smiled devilishly.

"Oh really?" The right side of the evil mastermind's unibrow rose skeptically. "How's that?"

"Look, the point is, I can't be in two places at once," she insisted. "I was stealing this Heimlich Maneuver Chip thingy or whatever it's called…" She held up a square microchip in her gloved hand.

"The Heisenburg Trinary Processor," corrected Drakken as he took it from her. He examined it and mused. "Hmm, we might be able to apply it to something else…unless Kim Possible comes in here and takes this away too!"

"I told you, we should have moved into a different lair," scolded Shego. "She knows where this one is, and we haven't even finished repairing it from the time she blasted it with our own lasers."

"What do you think I am, made of money?" Drakken whined. "As well as the cost of rebuilding this lair, the arctic lair isn't finished yet and we haven't even begun construction on the Peruvian one yet."

"We could take over the Cheese Wheel in Milwaukee," offered Shego. "It may look ridiculous, but it's got nice high ceilings."

"What?" Drakken ranted. "Take over the world from a cheese covered building? No thanks! I'll use that location when I need a disposable lair."

"You rent a time-share lair with Professor Dementor don't you?" Shego asked.

"Yes, and he's still using it," grumbled Drakken. "It seems that Team Impossible paid him a visit and he's still recovering."

"Hey, aren't we building a lair in a cave under the Grand Canyon?"

"The tourist season was extended two weeks," Drakken shrugged ruefully. "We have to delay construction or else the secret lair will be spotted. I'm sorry, Shego, but it looks like we're stuck here."

"Okay," sighed the verdant villainess. "If you need me, I'll be washing my hair."

"Wait a minute Shego," Drakken protested. "What if Kim Possible comes in here to steal the chip? Who will protect me?"

"Look, Doc," she protested. "I'm only one woman. I've got to sleep, eat, and go to the bathroom just like everybody else. I can't be in two places at once."

"All right," he grumped. Then his eyes widened as he got an idea. "Wait… Shego… what if you could be in two places at once?"

"I'm not volunteering to test the matter-transporter," said Shego. "You still haven't gotten that thing to work right."

"No no," he continued. "What if you weren't just one woman…"

"Sorry doc, got no sisters," she smirked.

"I didn't have a gravatonic beam either," Drakken retorted. "Until I made one..."

"What do you mean?" the viridescent vixen asked suspiciously.

"We could clone you," replied Drakken, an insane smile crossing his face. "One of you could stay here at the lab to provide security, the other could go out stealing. It's brilliant!"

"Ha!" Shego smirked as she crossed her arms in contempt. "If you can't afford decent henchmen, what makes you think you could pay a second Shego my salary?"

"We wouldn't have to pay her," responded the cerulean scientist. "Until she's eighteen, we'd be her legal guardians. She'd work for free."

"Yeah, and it would be just a matter of time until you decided that with her around you don't need me," accused Shego. "Sorry, Doc, no dice."

"Shego!" Drakken growled. "I'm the boss around here! If I order you to surrender a tissue sample, you have to do it."

"Ah-ah-ah!" She exclaimed as she produced a legal document out of her ankle pouch. "Not gonna happen, Doc. When I started working for you I insisted on a clause in my contract forbidding you from messing with my DNA!"

"But Shego," insisted the cobalt criminal. "That clause was just to prevent me from turning you into a supermonster or something. This won't affect you. I just need a sample to experiment with. I don't even need a blood sample; just a hair would do it…"

"Drakken, I like being unique," she argued. "I don't want two of me."

"She won't technically be you," he cajoled. "Genetically she'll be your twin sister."

"Heh-heh," Shego laughed nervously and then glowered at him. "Drakken, if I got along with my family, I wouldn't have became a villain and joined you."

"C'mon Shego," he said. "It would give you the home-court advantage. If Kim Possible shows up with the buffoon or Global Justice pays a call wouldn't you want some backup?" He smiled a disarming smile of such sincerity that it moved even Shego's black heart.

The green cohort sighed deeply. "All right, I'll get my hairbrush, but if anything goes wrong we stop everything on my say so, got it?"

"Got it," smiled Drakken. "You won't regret this, Shego."

"What are you talking about, I regret it already," she muttered.

Soaring over the town of Middleton a C141 Starlifter aircraft opened its cargo hatch. "Thanks for the ride Captain Douglas," grinned Kim.

"Hey Kim," said the pilot. "It's the least I could do after you saved me from those terrorists."

"Anybody could have replaced their ammunition with blanks," she said with false modesty. "I'm just glad that none of them were good knife fighters."

"You know, we could just get a taxi at the airport," said Ron as Rufus checked the straps on his parachute.

"Don't be such a baby, Ron," scolded Kim. She already had her parachute on and she was putting on a helmet. "You know that Captain Douglas is expected at Wright Airfield. We don't want to get him in trouble."

"If anything goes wrong we'll be in trouble," moaned Ron as Kim checked his straps. Rufus scurried into the sophomore's pocket and secured the snap.

"C'mon Ron, suck it up," said Kim as she pushed him out the hatch.

When Kim got home, she found her parents waiting for her in the kitchen. "What?" she asked, noticing their stern expressions. "What did I do?"

"Kimmy, where were you?" asked her father.

"Were you out all night?" her mother asked.

"Ohh, sorry," Kim groaned. "We had to get the PMS back to Doctor Soong, and then Captain Douglas' flight was delayed. They're going to retire the C141, you know…"

"So, you were out on a mission," said her mother accusingly.

"Hey, it was a Friday night," Kim protested with her hands on her hips. "It was no big."

"Was Ronald with you?" asked her father.

"Yeah, what of it?" Kim replied. "You said you didn't want me to go on missions alone. You said it was too dangerous without backup."

"So you were out. All night. On a Friday. With a boy," said her father.

"No, I was out with Ron," corrected Kim. "Look, what is this all about? What's the big deal? I've gone out on missions before. Why is this so different?"

Her parents looked at each other uncomfortably and then turned back to Kim. Finally her mother spoke. "Well honey, you and Ron have known each other for a long time. You aren't little kids anymore…"

"Yes," Kim interrupted. "And that's why we are allowed to go on missions."

"Please baby, don't interrupt," her mother scolded mildly. "It's springtime for your bodies, and you're going through many changes. Emotions and hormones are racing through you…"

Kim let out a loud noise that was between a grunt and a sigh. "Oh please, not the big sex talk? About Ron?"

"Why not about Ron?" asked Mrs. Possible. "You spend all your time with him. It's only a matter of time before he joins the cheerleading team for crying out loud."

"Don't even joke about that, Mom," Kim warned.

"The point is that you spend a lot of time with him," insisted the Possible matriarch. "Including out of town without a chaperone."

"Eww," shuddered Kim. "You think that he and I would…? So not gonna happen."

"We just think that maybe you two just need a little healthy distance," said her father. "I mean, last Christmas, he slept overnight in your room."

"He sleeps overnight every Christmas," said Kim. "He's Jewish. His parents don't celebrate Christmas, and we celebrate into the late hours of the night."

"I hope you're not disappointed if he doesn't get to spend the night this Christmas," warned the Possible patriarch.

"Don't worry," said Kim. "He's old enough that he can just stay up late and walk home afterwards."

"Honey," said her mother subtly thwarting Kim's feeble attempt to change the subject. "We've just noticed that you two are awfully comfortable with each other."

Her father joined in. "We're concerned that soon you might be comfortable enough—"

"Please, Dad," Kim cut him off. "Don't finish that sentence. The hurl factor is reaching critical. Ron would never take advantage of me."

"Actually, I don't think we have to worry about Ron taking liberties," smirked the beautiful brain surgeon. "Knowing you two, Ron will probably be the submissive…"

"That's it!" Kim exclaimed. "This conversation is over! If you need me I'll be in my room!"

"Sorry, Honey, that just slipped out," said her mother, but Kim had already stormed out of the kitchen.

Next: Meet the Latest Shego.