Disclaimer : I don't own the characters.
Sorry it took me this long to update. I've been really busy. In three weeks I've got my final exams so, please bare with me. Anyway, a special thanks goes out to everyone who reviewed the previous chapters. I'm glad you like this story so far and HATE Mamoru just as much as I do. He might not sound too bad after this chapter but I can assure you that he'll suffer and I'll make him the meanest, cruelest looking man alive. Lol. Let me know what you think!
Forbidden Step
Chapter two
- Murderer -
''Then you're a murderer!''
A sigh escaped her lips. She could still feel the burning place on her cheek. The place where he had hit her. And for what? Because she told him the truth? Because she couldn't continue to lie? That was why he was mad at her. But calling her a murderer. Had he been right? Was she acting selfish?
Usagi opened her eyes again. She hadn't even realized it but she was no longer near the apartment she used to share with Mamoru. She couldn't even tell where she was now. All she had been doing was running, running until her legs could no longer carry her. With that she fell down on her knees in the dry grass. Maybe she should go back and apologize. Tell him all those lies again. Tell him she didn't mean it.
''Then you're a murderer!''
His words kept replaying themselves in her head. It almost seemed impossible that the usually sweet and caring man she knew just snapped like that. Did he really love her or was he with her for the same reason she seemed to be with him. Because of a destiny, a fate that was mapped out for them? ''A murderer...'' Usagi whispered. If she hadn't heard if for herself she would've never believed it.
Even after all of this she still couldn't help it. She didn't want Crystal Tokyo to ever happen. At least, not with her in charge of everything. Maybe Rei was indeed the best contestant. They were always fighting over Usagi's leadership and until now Usagi had always claimed it hers. She no longer cared. If Rei was sure she could carry that burden she could take her place.
''A murderer...'' Once again the words escaped Usagi's lips. She liked Chibi-Usa, really liked the kid. She could even say without a slight hint of doubt that she loved Chibi-Usa. Couldn't Mamoru understand her situation. The only reason why Usagi hadn't said anything about her feelings before was because of Chibi-Usa. Not only because of her ofcourse. She had tried to be the strong one. For all of them. Including Mamoru.
How could it be possible that she was the selfish one here? Just a few moments ago she could've sworn that Mamoru was wrong, that he was the bad guy. After all he had started yelling at her and even hit her. But could it be that he was right after all. She was a murderer. No one knew what would come of the future next. It was best to just go back.
She swallowed away the lump that had formed in her throat. Maybe lying was the best thing to do after all. She didn't want them to hate her. If Mamoru, the man she thought loved her more than anything, could get angry at her over this there was no saying of how the senshi would react. Setsuna would probably lose it.
Slowly Usagi tried to get up again. This was harder than she thought it would be in the first place. It was as if all her energy was drained. She sighed again, giving up after a couple of times of trying to get up. ''Why?'' She managed to ask. Why was she this weak? Why couldn't she just be what they wanted her to be. Why couldn't she just get up and pretend nothing ever happened?
A few tears fell down her cheeks. She didn't want to cry because somehow it made her feel weak and useless. She had to be the strong one. She had to be, for them. ''Usagi?'' Suddenly a voice asked.
Usagi went wide eyed. She knew that voice. It belonged to Michiru. This wasn't happening. Michiru couldn't see her like this. She couldn't see how weak she really was. ''Usagi...'' Michiru repeated. She sounded worried. The blonde just sat there on her knees not bothering to look up or move. She could feel how Michiru kneeled down next to her and placed a hand on Usagi's own.
Finally after a few moments of just sitting there like that Usagi looked up. Her eyes didn't show any emotions besides confusion and pain. ''M-michiru..'' She whispered, already trying to think of a lame excuse for why she was crying.
''Usagi,'' Michiru paused for a moment as she unconsciously started to wipe away the blonde's tears. New ones just kept replacing them. ''Don't cry...'' Michiru begged. Much to Usagi's surprise it looked like the aqua haired girl was about to break down into tears herself as well.
Never before had Usagi ever seen the other like this. She usually wished she was more like the outer senshi. They always seemed so strong, so certain of what they were doing and how they were acting. They never showed a sign of weakness. Never. But now, now Michiru was sitting next to her with a pained expression on her face. Had she caused that? Was it her fault that Michiru was sad? It wouldn't be such a surprise. Maybe Mamoru called the outers and told them what happened. Maybe they had sent Michiru to talk to her. Convince her to go back.
Michiru blinked away her own tears. She had seen her princess crying before, confused and hurt but never like this. It was as if someone just told Usagi that the world was ending. It was as if Usagi had given up all hope on something. It pained her to see her like this. ''What's wrong?'' Michiru managed to ask while cupping Usagi's face. They were now looking directly at each other.
''Your eyes...'' Usagi whispered unconsciously. She didn't even know why she had said it but there was something about the aqua haired girl's eyes that made her heart skip a beat.
''Are blue, just like yours.'' Michiru replied, giggling a bit. Even Usagi couldn't help it but smile. ''You're avoiding the question.''
''I got into a fight with Mamoru.'' Usagi replied. It wasn't exactly lying. There was ofcourse much more to it. They stayed quiet for a few minutes before Usagi realized something. If Michiru didn't know about what happened then why was she here in the first place? ''What are you doing here?''
Michiru dropped her hands to her side as Usagi started to wipe away her own tears. ''I just went out for a walk.'' Came the reply. ''I needed some time to think about, stuff.''
It didn't sound convincing at all. Usagi just nodded. It was obvious that Michiru didn't want to talk about it.
A few seconds later Usagi could feel drops of water on her cheeks. At first she thought she had started to cry again but when she gazed up at the sky she noticed it had started to rain. 'A perfect way to start a perfect day.' Usagi thought sarcastically. She just remembered that it was still morning. The last time she looked at the clock it had only been 5am.
Michiru just stared at the smaller girl with an examing expression on her face. Usagi hadn't just gotten into a fight with Mamoru. It couldn't be it, Michiru just knew it. Maybe if she told Usagi the reason for why she really was here the other would open up a bit more too. She knew that the outers and inners never had gotten along very well. At least, neither of them trusted the other much.
''I run away.'' The aqua haired girl finally said causing Usagi to look up at her with a questioning look on her face. ''I've been feeling strange lately. I've got this strange feeling that something is wrong. That something changed. I tried to tell Haruka but she told me I was being paranoid. She kept telling me that nothing was wrong. I can't quite explain it. Somehow I have that feeling again. That one I used to have when we were still fighting as senshi against Galaxia and those guys.''
Usagi swallowed hard. That was all her fault. Should she tell Michiru about what happened.
''But that's not all,'' Michiru seemed to hesitate for a moment. She was sure whether to tell the other this or not. After all, she hadn't even told Haruka about all of this. ''I have the feeling that soon I'll lose Haruka. Somehow that doesn't scare me at all though. It's as if I'm unconsciously waiting for that to happen. I have the feeling that we'll both be happy but not with each other.''
''When, did you start having those feelings?'' Usagi managed to ask. Scarily enough this sounded a lot like what she had been going through ever since she decided she didn't want to rule Crystal Tokyo.
Michiru didn't quite understand what that had to do with anything but thought about it anyway. ''I don't really know. I guess I started to have these feelings ever since we defeated Galaxia and the world was restored to...''
She was cut off by the other. ''Normal.'' Usagi finished. It might sound impossible but that was about the same time she started to have these feelings. The thing that disturbed her the most was that Michiru felt it too.
The other nodded, looking down at her hands in shame.
Usagi smiled a bit, squeezing Michiru's hand. ''I know I shouldn't be saying this but I'm glad.'' Michiru just looked up in confusion. ''Not because you feel like that but because I know how you feel. I was scared that I was the only one.''
''The only one?'' Michiru repeated. She didn't really understand what the other was trying to say.
''I'm sorry.'' Usagi whispered, letting go of Michiru's hand. This time she managed to get up easily. ''I shouldn't have said that.'' Slowly she started to walk away. Until she heard Michiru's voice behind her.
''So it's you,'' The other stated. ''It's you who has been sending me messages.''
Usagi blinked a couple of times before turning around again. ''Messages?''
Michiru nodded. ''When I feel sad or hurt I always, willingly or unwillingly, send out messages to Haruka. I portray my feelings on her causing her to feel how I feel. I guess you and I somewhat bonded together after you...'' Michiru closed her mouth again. She still wasn't sure if this was what Usagi wanted to say in the first place. If this was what was bothering Usagi.
''After I found out that I don't want to be a queen. After I found out that I don't want to rule Crystal Tokyo? After I found out that I don't want to be with Mamoru?!'' Usagi yelled, fresh tears made their way down her cheeks.
The aqua haired girl gazed down at the ground. ''I didn't mean to upset you.''
Much to Usagi's surprise Michiru's voice didn't betray any hint of signs of anger. It seemed that Michiru somehow felt sorry for her. Almost it seemed like Usagi had finally found someone who truly understood.
She just stood there, looking at the other girl.
''I won't judge you either.'' Michiru whispered, knowing that was something Usagi feared. ''I am glad you made me a part of your life. A part of your feelings. Usually you contact someone you trust. Someone you know will never hurt you. I'm glad, Usagi. I'm glad that it wasn't Mamoru but me. I'm glad that it wasn't Rei or any of the other senshi...''
''Glad?'' Usagi repeated.
''I must sound weird now.'' Michiru smiled bitterly before getting up. It had started to rain ever harder than before now. Both were drenched but didn't care. They didn't even seem to notice. All they could do was just stand there and look at each other.
-------
Mamoru sighed, leaning against the bedroom wall as he held the phone in his hands. Maybe he hadn't acted like he should have after Usagi told him what was bothering her. He should've taken better care of her. He should have approached her in a calm way, not like this. No, surely not like this.
After giving it a second thought her threw the phone on the bed again. He had wanted to call Rei and the other senshi to inform them about Usagi but he had decided not to do that. He would look for Usagi and get her back. It was his fault after all.
His eyes now fell on the window. It was raining outside which made him feel even worse. Crystal Tokyo had to happen no matter what. But there were things more important than that. He loved Usagi although he hadn't really showed that earlier this morning. She meant the world to him. There was no doubt that they could fix this. Together.
He just hoped he wasn't too late.
''Chiba...'' Suddenly the door opened, revealing Haruka. He was surprised to see her here. For a moment he feared that she had come to beat him up over what happened earlier this morning but by the looks on her face it was obvious that she had no idea about what had happened at all. ''Where's Usagi?''
''Out.'' He replied.
Haruka knew he was lying, the look on his face betrayed him. ''Where is Usagi?'' She repeated.
The man swallowed. Haruka was obviously on to him. ''Out.'' He tried again.
The blonde tomboy clenched her fists. After Michiru had kept on going about her doubts and feelings she had decided to get some proof herself. She wanted to talk to Usagi, ask if everything was alright. Seeing Mamoru like this made her have second thoughts about all of it. Maybe something indeed happened. Slowly she started to walk up to him. ''Where.is.Usagi?'' She hissed, making it clear she wasn't in the mood for games.
''She went to Rei.'' Mamoru lied, trying to sound as convincing as possible. ''She had a nightmare. I told her it was nothing but she wanted to be sure. She went to Rei to explain her dream.''
Haruka took a deep breath, calming down a bit. That didn't really sound like Usagi. It was still early in the morning. She knew for a fact that her princess loved to sleep until late in the afternoon on free days like these. Then again, why would Mamoru lie.
Mamoru just stared at her. He was rather confused. Usually Haruka didn't go anywhere without Michiru by her side. Not to mention that Haruka had never ever bothered to come to his house in order to find Usagi. Something must be wrong. ''May I know why?'' He finally asked.
''No.'' Haruka simply stated before turning around again. ''Tell Usagi I need to talk to her when she's back. It's urgent so don't forget.''
The black haired man just nodded as he watched Haruka walk out of the room. Something was wrong and right now he had the feeling that the only one who knew the answer to his questions was his fiancée. He had to find Usagi.
To Be Continued...