The Sleeping Lyrical
Written by: Lone Wolf NEO
Conceived by: Lone Wolf NEO

Author's note: this is an AU (alternate universe) Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha fan fiction that parodies one of the most famous fairy tales in the world. It might also parody some other works. Original characters are subjected to copyright under the watchful eyes of the author.

Note: this event takes place before Magical Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS anime. All events that lead to the series are only the author's speculation.

Chapter 8
Once Upon a Time in Cosplay Party

Everybody looked at each other. Amused; not impressed; bewildered; puzzled; pissed off; annoyed; speechless; each and every one of the crews were having the look of mixed reactions on their face. They questioned the purpose of the costume-play party that was held without their agreement, and argued on any relevance of having one.

And Fate could not agree more.

Having dressed up in the purple/pink ninja suit, complete with yellow face-decorated headband and red ribbon, the Ace felt deliriously uncomfortable in the cosplay dress and blushed in embarrassment when people gawked at her.

"Fate-chan!"

Fate turned around and saw an excited Hayate and a not-amused Signum walking toward her. Both of them were dressed up in Lillian Academy uniform, complete with rosaries and flowers pinned on the cloth. "Not fair," Fate pouted as they arrived. "You two got to cosplay as the Lillian schoolgirls while I have to dress up like a silly ninja whose master is a perverted yellow ball with the voice of a flying cat."

"Aw, come on, Fate-chan," Hayate uttered and spun on her feet as to display her dress. "This is cosplay party. Of course everyone's having great fun."

"The same cannot be said by the cosplay tyrant herself," Signum mumbled.

"Now, now, Signum," Hayate replied and grabbed a harisen that mysteriously materialized out of thin air. "Bad children will be punished. Bad children won't have biscuits."

"Yes, Meister Hayate," Signum sighed.

"At least you look decent in that dress, Signum," Fate tried assuring the Wolkenritter leader. "Unlike Yuuno."

The stage trembled. Out of nowhere came Yuuno and 300 extra casts, all dressed up as pirates. All of them marched onward and approached the stage, shouting battle cries and intimidating people with war dances. "I thought they're doing the 300 things again," Signum said.

"Apparently Yuuno decided to become pirates of the Caribbean," Fate explained.

"Sugoi wa, Yuuno-kun!" Hayate exclaimed.

The "pirates" stopped marching. Yuuno turned around, faced his legions and withdrew his sword. "Let's pillage!" he hoarsely shouted.

"Aye-aye, captain!" the "pirates" replied.

Chaos took over as they began raiding the hall, pillaging and overtaking every corner of the building. While the girls playfully squealed and outran the pirates who proceeded to chase after them, the boys immediately became English soldiers and charged at the pirates.

"Oh, well," Fate shrugged. "Men's stuffs. Not my type."

At one side of the hall, amidst the confusion, Vita was complaining to Shamal on the weirdly cute Digi Charat dress. She even mumbled on why it was obligatory to end every word with the "-nyo" suffix, as in: "I wish Hayate would stop commanding people like she's the queen or something-nyo."

"Now, Vita-chan," Shamal laughingly spoke. "You don't have to be mad at Hayate-chan. She's the one who designed the clothes, right?"

"While telling me to dress up as Dejiko-nyo?" Vita grumbled before she snapped. "Now I even talk like Dejiko-nyo! This is madness-nyo!"

Shamal giggled at Vita's stubbornness. "Say, why don't we go and meet Hayate-chan right- IYAA!" The Wolkenritter moaned in a mix of pleasure and distress when Imotou grabbed her tail. She chased the young girl who outran her and went to her back before grabbing the tail for the second time. "Mou! Stop touching the tail!" she cried out.

A medium-sized sweat popped on Vita's head. "Is that tail for real?" she pondered and watched as Imotou continually played with Shamal's tail.

"Shamal's tail is her weakness!" fan boys shouted. "Yeah! Go for the tail, Imotou-chan! Do the booty dance for us, Shamal!"

"You guys are so H!" Shamal replied and squealed again when Shamisen bit the tail. "Onegai! Yamate! Ittai! AH! DAME!"

Fan boys bled their nose. Yuuno and the pirates also nose-bled. Even the cameramen hired to videotape the party severely injured their noses. All because Shamal was making the suggestive facial expression and because she was making the provocative whimpering voices as her tail became the target of choice for Shamisen and Imotou.

"Alright, both of you stop it."

Suddenly Chrono appeared behind Imotou and Shamisen, and dragged them away from the troubled Shamal. "You're making a lot of us feeling naughty," he uttered and handed them over to Aria and Lotte. "Aria, Lotte, please take them behind the stage."

"Okie-dokie!" Lotte answered and took Imotou.

Aria cradled Shamisen, which purred victoriously in the cat-girl's arms and nudged its face against her chest. "AH! You naughty kitty, you!" Aria squealed and playfully slapped the cat's head.

"Now that they're done," Chrono uttered and turned to Shamal. "Are you alright, Shamal?"

"Thank you for saving me, Chrono," Shamal thanked and sighed in relief. "Umm… Chrono?"

"Yes? What is it? Chrono asked.

"You…" Shamal pointed to him. "Sound just like… Kyon."

Chrono blinked many times. "Eh?"

"And you even dress up like Kyon," Zafira spoke as he suddenly appeared behind Chrono. "I see what you did there, Chrono. Go and chase after Mikuru instead."

"What the hell was that for, Zafira?!" Chrono chased Zafira but stopped when he stumbled across Mikuru who was amazed by his appearance.

"Kyon… kun?"

"I'm not Kyon!" Chrono frantically replied. "I'm Admiral Chrono Haraoun!"

"But you look a lot like Kyon-kun," Mikuru replied. "And… and…"

"Mikuru-CHAN!"

Suzumiya Haruhi appeared behind Mikuru. Happily she grabbed Mikuru's body. Mikuru cried in shock and squealed in distress when Haruhi started groping her. Kyon- I mean, Chrono, just stood, too baffled by the turning point of the event. Again, fan boys nose-bled but they proceeded to cheer at the fan service.

"IYAA!" Mikuru cried out and got off Haruhi. "Mi… Mi… MIKURU BIIIIIMU!"

Asahina Mikuru killed fan boys with Mikuru Beam.

Chrono palmed his face. "Oh, God… why?"

Cue music of Koi no Mikuru Densetsu took place.

x-x-x-x-x

// inside dressing room //

She was silent. Reinforce Original, formerly the Book of Darkness, Yami no Sho, was standing in front of the mirror. In her arms were red silk gown, and on the table was the replica of Sig Sauer P238 handgun. On her head was Reinforce Zwei, fully dressed up as the silver-haired Whispered of Full Metal Panic, too oblivious of what the full-sized humanoid was thinking. In her mind there was only one question that had buggered her since the beginning of the stage play.

What on Earth was she doing?

The existence of two identical entities in one same space, as far as she was concerned, was unacceptable as it would create a temporal paradox and disturb the equilibrium of time and space dimension. She was aware that she was not supposed to exist anymore, having been replaced entirely by Reinforce Zwei, and having been erased from existence.

"Oh, whatever."

She looked up at Reinforce Zwei. "Reinforce?"

"Yes! What can I do?" Reinforce Zwei asked.

"Would you give me some space for privacy?" Reinforce asked.

"Okay!" So saying Reinforce Zwei jumped off her head and headed to the door. "I'll be waiting with Meister Hayate and the rest, okay?"

"I know."

The door closed. Now she was alone. Only I, the red gown, the handgun and the mirror. She stared at the very reflection of hers for a very long time, enamoured by her own beauty. She chortled. "It can't be helped after all." She sniffed the red gown, put it on the table and began unzipping her cloth--

Fan boys roared in approval and whistled at the undressing scene. Fan girls pointed to fan boys and demanded them to drop dead. Fan boys revived and told fan girls to shut up. Fan girls insisted the otherwise and started bashing pillows. Fan boys counterattacked with teddy bears. Soon Battlefield 1337: Internet Argument took place.

"Plasma Zanber."

Fate T. Haraoun killed fan people with Bardiche Assault.

It took her a bit more than fifteen minutes, yet Reinforce Original was fully dressed. Her silky tresses flowed freely over her shoulder; her perfect body figure was outlined by the flimsy silk gown; her thigh was barely exposed under the gown's high-cut. She admired the aspiring image of hers in the mirror, spinning on her feet and giggling all the way.

She stopped. She took the handgun replica and aimed it at the mirror. "You haven't seen a kind-hearted murderer," she murmured, "have you?"

Cue music of Gazth-Sokina took place.

x-x-x-x-x

"Alright, everyone! Are we ready for our party?" asked Lindy.

"Yeah!" all of the crews shouted.

The female admiral, dressed up as a certain Norn of the Future, clapped her hands and took the cake knife. "Before we get started," she spoke, "are we missing something?"

"Mrs. Lindy!" the schoolgirl-wearing Noir Arisa Bannings shouted. "Nanoha-chan is not here yet! Should we wait for her?"

Fate looked around. So did Hayate, Chrono, Yuuno and the rest of the crews. They were getting ready for the opening ceremony, and yet Nanoha hadn't showed up. The last time she was seen when she headed to the dressing room, but she was not seen afterwards.

"Ara, I think she's still looking for her clothes," Lindy uttered.

"But I thought I already prepared her one," Hayate retorted.

"I don't know about that, but she said she already got a plan," Fate answered.

"Are you sure, Testarossa," Signum asked.

Kyon- I mean, Chrono-

Chrono Haraoun killed narrator with Durandal.

"I see you having problems with the fourth wall, matey," Yuuno uttered and patted Chrono on the shoulder.

"Shut up, Yuuno."

The cue music of Yakusoku suddenly took place. Everybody looked around in bewilderment but didn't see anyone suspicious. Curiosity arose as they were asking of what was going on.

"Sou."

The radio turned off. All of the crews looked at the person who was switching off the radio. They gaped when the person turned around, and gasped at the silent facial expression she gave. On her hand was a medieval sword ready to be swung at unsuspecting victim.

She closed her eyes. "Watashi wa… mamono wo utsumono…"

They gulped. They thought the person was having cold grudges of sorts.

Until…

"Gotcha!"

Their jaws dropped. It was Nanoha, indeed.

"Scared you, didn't I?" Nanoha laughingly asked and turned around; the song "Poison" was played soon after.

"Nanoha-chan!" Fate and Hayate ran up after her. "You… you look awesome! Where did you get this uniform?" Fate asked.

"Beautiful… so beautiful…" Hayate uttered in awe. "It's perfect. Everything needed for this costume is already there. I'm so amazed. But… why?"

"Yeah, tell us why you put on this dress," Fate urged.

Nanoha laughed silly. "Actually…"

x-x

"Nanoha, you've got a phone call," Mary informed.

"Haii!" Nanoha fetched the phone. "Haii, Takamachi desu. May I know who's on the line?"

"It's me," a synthesized voice spoke. "The… Author."

"Ah, you must be Lone Wolf-san," Nanoha replied. "I'm so glad you called, because my friends and I have a lot of things to speak with you."

"My apology for the mess my colleagues caused," the voice spoke.

"Iie. We had so much fun throughout the stage play," Nanoha assured. "It was a success."

"I see. Say, Nanoha-san."

"Haii?"

"I have an errand here. I was hoping that you could give me some hands."

Nanoha giggled. "You need help? Sure, I'll help. So what will it be?"

x-x

Fate and Hayate glared at Nanoha. "Don't tell me he asked you to cosplay as… her?" Fate asked.

Nanoha laughed silly. "I couldn't reject the offer. He said he would help me in return."

"You sound like you were threatened, weren't you Nanoha-chan?" Hayate asked.

Chrono nodded in acknowledgment. "So we're having VA jokes as this party's theme. Now I get it."

"Get over it, Yuuichi," Zafira suddenly replied.

"What the hell was that for?!" Chrono screamed.

Yuuno appeared next to Zafira. "ZA WARUDO!" Zafira and Yuuno kicked Chrono and sent him crashing on front of Nanoha.

"Ouch, ouch! Why they suddenly do that?" he growled and looked up. "At this rate, I'm going to be--" He paused. "Oh crap. I think I just saw…"

Nanoha blushed in embarrassment. "IYAAA! CHRONO-KUN HENTAI!" She delivered a roundhouse kick onto Chrono's face. The Admiral was sent flying and levitated several feet in the air before he crashed back on the floor.

"Ah, no wonder why Mai acted cold toward Yuuichi," Reinforce Original spoke.

"I'm not Yuuichi!" Chrono screamed.

"I must say, those schoolgirls in Kanon must have hard times chasing perverts around," Basara wondered and plugged in his guitar.

"Nah, those perverts would have died by the time they spied down under," Canti spoke and approached the drum-set.

"What am I doing here?" Naota grumbled and took the saxophone.

"I don't want to have anything with it," Sol shrugged and holstered the bass guitar's strap over his shoulder.

"Isn't our job supposed to be over already?" Lacus asked and approached the microphone stand.

"Don't ask us," Basara replied and signalled to Lindy. "We're ready, Ma'am!"

Lindy gave out her thumb-up. "Mahou Shoujo Ririkaru Nanoha Cosplay Party, hajimarimasu!"

x-x-x-x-x

"And so it ends. Officially. The Sleeping Lyrical has come to an end after one hectic week just working on it. Everybody is off to do their own work; the guest band is now performing on nightly basis at Mid-Childa's 5-star hotel; Nanoha, Fate and I, Yagami Hayate, are returning to headquarters to resume our works; Aria and Lotte now befriend the children and often take them for trip around England; Yuuno, Chrono and Zafira are continuing their Internet Argument on whether Kyon, Yuuichi and Rin are in fact Chrono's long-lost relatives."

"I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM!" Chrono screamed at background.

"THIS IS SPARTA!" Yuuno replied.

"You're gonna get owned, Chrono," Zafira cackled.

"The cosplay party was quite a disaster, but everybody was enjoying it. As a matter of fact, I'm planning to organize one for the recruits. Oh, I heard Anna-chan loves cosplaying as May of Guilty Gear. Wonder how she reacts to the news."

"Meister Hayate, you're so evil…" Reinforce Original sighed.

"At least, Reinforce, you look hot in that dress," Hayate replied with a wink. "Oh, I heard the Author has the liking towards people like you. Maybe I should--"

Reinforce Original suddenly muffled Hayate's mouth. "Stop it! You only make embarrassed," she pleaded, her face burning redder than tomato.

"Anyway, we're looking forward to next instalment of our fairy tale stage play," Hayate uttered and waved to the camera; Reinforce Original did the same and smiled. "By the way, I think our next project should be Cinderella. What do you think, Reinforce?"

"Oh, Meister…" Reinforce Original replied with a giggle.

"Until next time!"