Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma

Note: This is my first Ranma fic and I have only seen the anime, so if I make any mistakes with names or personality please feel free to tell me. Constructive criticism is appreciated, but since I love attention, I will even accept flames.

Chapter 1: The Spell

"And now, presenting the world's greatest martial artist that has ever or will ever live: Ranma Saotome!"

A thunderous roar could be heard as Ranma stepped into the arena. Taking a look around, he saw hundreds of thousands of people in the stands, all cheering for him. He bowed gracefully and the cheering intensified. After the noise died down the announcer continued.

"And presenting his opponents: Ryoga Hibiki, Tatewaki Kuno and Mousse!" The booing that ensued was deafening, and all three opponents looked down in shame. As Ranma got into fighting position, the trio dropped down onto their hands and knees in front of Ranma in a position his father called the Crouch of the Wild Tiger.

"Hold, Saotome," Kuno said. "We have not come here to fight you. We already know that you are a truly superior adversary."

"Because of you, Ranma," Ryoga interjected, "I've seen the light. I know now that no matter how hard I try, I could never beat you."

"When I think back on it, I don't even know why we even bothered. You always showed more skill than we ever could have," said Mousse, also seemingly submissive.

And with that, the three, while still on their hands and knees, backed out of the arena. The crowds burst into applause once more.

"It seems that Saotome has won by default," the announcer's voice boomed. "But we all know he would have won anyway, so it doesn't matter." The crowd cheered in agreement.

"And as a prize for your predictable victory, I present to you water from the Spring of Drowned Man." Ranma was handed a jeweled bottle filled with water.

He turned and showed it to the crowd who cheered in approval. Then they began cheering his name.

"Ranma. Ranma. Ranma. Ranma."

He opened the bottle and dramatically began tilting it over his head and the crowd continued chanting.

"Ranma. Ranma."

Then the crowds cheering began dying down and one voice could be heard over the rest.

"Ranma! Ranma!"

The voice seemed to be trying to catch his attention instead of encourage him.

"RANMA! RANMA!"

Ranma looked around but was unable to find the voice and it was starting to intimidate him. He wasn't sure whose voice it was, but it sounded familiar.

"RANMA! Wake up, you BAKA!"

Ranma opened his eyes just in time to see a mallet collide with his face. The ensuing pain and shock left him a little disoriented. When he opened his eyes he saw a familiar short-haired tomboy with a mallet in her grasp.

"What the hell, Akane!" the martial artist roared. "Ever tried waking someone up without smashing them over the head?"

"I tried, but it wasn't working," she retorted. "And I am not going to be late to school again because of you."

"When does school start?" Ranma asked, having been too distracted by the pain to check the time.

"It starts in 15 minutes."

"15 MINUTES!? Why didn't you wake me sooner?"

"You're lucky I woke you at all."

With that Ranma rushed to his pile of clothes and began taking off his shirt. Genma and Soun chose that moment to walk by the open door to Ranma's room. Their eyes seemed to light up at the scene.

"Look, Saotome! Our children have grown so close that they feel no embarrassment getting undressed in front of each other."

"Huzzah! Our schools will be joined!" Then the two began hugging and fireworks went off in the background. Akane blushed while Ranma was still to busy getting his shirt on to notice or care.

"Don't be stupid, Pop," Ranma mumble while adjusting his shirt. "I am just in too much of a hurry to care whether or not the uncute tomboy catches a quick glimpse of me." Then Ranma reached down to change his boxers, but was stopped when a mallet made an unscheduled collision with his head.

"You pervert!" Akane cried; her face completely red. "Don't get changed while I'm still in the room."

"No one is forcing you to stay. You've been able to leave at anytime. I'm surprised you haven't, since it was you who woke me up to tell me we are going to be late to school."

"School! We are going to be so late." With that Akane rushed out of the room. Shortly after Ranma finished changing and the two Anything Goes martial artists were running down the street towards the school.

"Are you ready for the test today, Ranma?" Akane asked.

"Test? What test?"

"You forgot? How stupid are you? Today is the big test that assesses our knowledge of what we learnt in school. It counts for 20 of our final grade. We were told weeks ago."

"If we were told weeks ago, how do they expect me to remember to study?" Akane rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"Lucky for you, it is a multiple-choice test so you have a small chance of getting a halfway decent grade at least."

"It's multiple-choice? Great, that means if I am given four choices and I guess the chances of me being right are...uhhh... what are they?" Ranma queried.

"I'm sure you'll ace the math section," Akane commented, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Ranma and Akane ran towards the school as quickly as possible. The God of Luck must have been on their side since not only did they make it on time, but they got there with time to spare.

"You ever notice that we almost never come to school late. No matter what happens, we arrive on time," Akane noted.

"Let's get inside before that changes," Ranma grumbled impatiently.

That's when they noticed a blur jump off the top of the school. And as it began descending on them they recognized the annoyingly familiar voice of Tatewaki Kuno.

"Saotome, prepare to feel the wrath of my new ultimate attack: Attack of a Thousand Shards!" Then he began thrusting his sword downwards, towards Ranma. However, instead of thrusting directly at Ranma, he seemed to be creating a circle around him.

The attacks were fast, but Ranma's reflexes were faster. He blocked most of the attacks with his arms, the sword only grazing him. The sensations that followed the attacks, though, were much more painful than they usually were.

Finally, Kuno landed on the ground after his downward assault and was looking very smug. Ranma looked down at his arms and saw that they were bleeding. Not profusely, just lots of needle point pricks. After a closer inspection he saw that there were tiny pieces of wood embedded into his arm, splinters. Ranma looked up at Kuno, confused.

"Do you yield, Saotome? Or must I inflict my horrific attack upon you once more?" Kuno cried, pointing his sword at Ranma. Instead of the usual smooth wood that Kuno used as a sword, this one clearly had a rougher texture and had many small pieces of wood jutting out of the side.

"Kuno… these are splinters. That wasn't an attack. That was pathetic. Sure, it hurt a little, but the worst damage that this could inflict upon me is an infection. Normally, I would deal with after attacking me, but I think the attack itself will cause you more embarrassment than I would."

"HA-HA! The mighty Saotome has fallen. He fears my attack. Now Akane Tendo and the pigtailed girl are mine. We shall date and – ugh!" Kuno's rant was cut off as Ranma jumped on his head to get past him, knocking him to the ground and Akane running over him, too rushed to notice where she was going.

All the students settled down once their teacher arrived carrying a large bundle of papers. Without a word she began passing them out. After everyone had received one, she went to her desk, sat down and said "Begin," an order which was quickly obeyed.

Ranma's confidence, prior to the test, quickly evaporated when he began going through the questions. He couldn't answer a single one with 100 percent confidence. He was royally screwed.

'Argh! Stupid test. I'm not planning on becoming some know-it-all smartass. I'm going to become the greatest martial artist in existence, so why waste my time learning things that I will never use?' Ranma mentally grumbled. He looked over at Akane and saw her going through the test as if she knew the answers before hand.

'This is the only kind of thing she can beat me that, and I am fine with that, though I wish I could get a proper grade.' Then Akane looked over at Ranma, and gave him a smug smile before going back to her work. This caused the sex-changing martial artist to fume. 'Just because she can do school things better than me doesn't mean she has to rub it in my face every chance she gets!' Ranma continued his internal rant in a similar manner for the duration of the test, all six hours.

The test had finally come to an end. Students were embracing their rediscovered liberty from the classroom, especially one mentally deficient martial artist by the name of Saotome who was accompanied by Akane.

"Thank Kami it's over. I thought it would never end!" he celebrated.

"That test was easy compared to what I expected. If you had studied you could have done better," Akane added haughtily.

"We can't all be uncute tomboys, with no figure or life, like you, with nothing to do but study," Ranma shot back, not willing to admit that he was at fault.

Instead of the yelling or hitting Ranma was expecting from Akane, she stiffened, and for a brief moment Ranma thought he saw a hurt look in her eyes, but then that look was replaced by an angry one. She then began walking faster than Ranma and muttered something that sounded suspiciously similar to 'baka'.

Ranma immediately regretted his words and would have apologized if he wasn't afraid of getting hit if he came within ten feet of her. Just then, Ranma heard a rustling from the bushes and saw one Ryoga Hibiki jump out from them.

"RANMA! PREPARE TO DIE! You hurt Akane's feelings and for this I won't forgive you!" Ryoga shouted, attacking Ranma with his Breaking Point.

For once, Ranma was very happy Ryoga had found him. He needed a way to get rid of all this pent up stress that he accumulated during the test. Though he was slightly annoyed that Ryoga constantly felt the need to defend Akane's honor, especially when he always thought it was Ranma offending it.

The battle was predictable, as it usually was. Ryoga attacked with his Breaking Point while Ranma evaded the debris that followed. If it weren't for the toughness Ryoga gained from the Breaking Point training, he would be a complete pushover.

Eventually, Ranma got bored with the repetitive nature of the battle and decided to end in an amusing manner. As Ryoga tried to punch him, Ranma dodged the attack and grabbed Ryoga's arm and flipped him into the river, thus, turning him into his piglet form, known as P-Chan.

After Ranma had a good laugh at Ryoga's expense, and spent a little time avoiding Ryoga's weak, yet quick pig-kicks, he began heading back to the Tendo dojo. Before he arrived, however, Shampoo came skidding to a halt in front of him on her bike.

"Airen!" she cried in joy, "Shampoo find you. Now we go on date," she declared confidently.

"Shampoo, I'm not really in the mood for this today. I completely screwed up on this test we had at school, and on the way home I-," but Ranma was cut off as a battle cry from above was heard.

"I will defeat you Ranma!" the voice declared. Ranma tensed up, preparing for the ensuing fight that he knew would occur. However, instead of having to defend himself, as he thought he would have to do, he saw none other than Mousse tackle Shampoo off her bike.

"I will defeat you and then Shampoo will be mine!" he said once more, as if the words would make it happen.

After Shampoo got over the shock of suddenly getting tackled she looked at Mousse angrily. "Stupid Mousse. I not Ranma, I Shampoo." Shampoo was once again thinking about using super-glue to secure Mousse's lenses to his eyes.

Mousse adjusted his glasses once and looked back at his victim who he now realized was Shampoo. "Shampoo!" he screech and glomped on to her.

Just before Shampoo was going to give him the beating of a lifetime (again) fate decided to have someone throw a bucket of water out one of the windows above them, turning the two into their cursed form.

Ranma, who was also splashed by the water and became a girl, could only stare in horror as Mousse turned duck was being attacked by Shampoo turned c-c-ca-ca- "CAT!" he/she screamed and ran in the opposite direction of the two. Unfortunately, this was also the opposite direction of the dojo. But Ranma didn't care. All that mattered was getting away from the dreaded creature.

After a while Ranma stopped and looked around. She noticed that there were no cats in the immediate vicinity and let a sigh of relief escape her lips. But then a familiar voice was heard.

"Ranchan?" asked the familiar voice of Ukyo. "Is that you? You got covered in water again?"

Ranma turned around and saw that, through some odd twist of fate or the cruel hand of irony; he had wound up in front of Ucchan's and had been noticed by its owner.

"Come inside," she said. "I'll boil some hot water and make you an okonomiyaki."

Unable to say no to the prospect of returning to his male form and also equally tempted by the delicious food he had just been promised, Ranma ignored his better judgment and went inside.

After a few minutes inside, Ukyo quickly came out of the backroom carrying a kettle of hot water. Looking around, she saw that there were no customers. She them looked at Ranma and saw a sour look on her face.

"Ranchan, what happened to all my customers?" the okonomiyaki chef asked in an accusatory tone. Ranma looked up at her rather guiltily.

"Some guys started hitting on me," the sexually inconsistent martial artist whined. "I tried ignoring them but they wouldn't go away. You should have seen how patient I was trying to be. But I just couldn't take it anymore, so I kicked their asses. Everyone else kinda got the message and hurried out."

"You couldn't have been that patient; I was only in the backroom for a minute." Ranma, realizing his attempt to make himself seem like the victim had failed, quickly searched for a way to get Ukyo's annoyed glare away from him. His eyes rested upon the tea kettle.

"Is that the hot water?" He quickly grabbed and poured the contents on himself. "Thanks, Ukyo. You're the best." At the compliment, Ukyo quickly forgot about her annoyance and inwardly cheered that she had gone up one more notch in Ranma's eyes. She also seemed to forget that Ranma gives that compliment to almost anyone who helps him out.

"Sure, Ranma. I'm always happy to help you. How about I cook you something to eat?" and with that she took out her spatula and began cooking.

Ranma was also inwardly cheering for 'cunningly' maneuvering out of a close beating. Not only that, but he had managed to get a free meal while he was at it. So he sat down and let his mind wander. Unfortunately, his mind wandered back to the test, bringing him down from the high of his recent verbal victory. The change in his facial expression did not go unnoticed by Ukyo.

"What's the matter, Ranma? You seem depressed."

"Hmm?" Ranma looked up at Ukyo, whom he had almost forgotten while deep in his misery. "It's nothing Ucchan, I was just thinking about that test we had today."

"Yeah, I looked at you during the test, you were not looking to confident."

"I forgot about it, okay! When you live in a house full of perverts, panda-men, swindlers, and mallet crazed tomboys tests don't tend to bring too much attention." Ukyo then got a hopeful glint in her eye.

"You know, Ranma, you could move in here with me," Ukyo suggested, handing Ranma her newly cooked okonomiyaki which Ranma began eating. "Not only would you not have to deal with that madhouse, but I could remind you about upcoming tests and even help you study."

This caused Ranma to panic. He liked Ukyo, she was a good friend. However he also liked the Tendo Dojo more than he cared to admit. He didn't want to turn her down directly, though. If he did that he may endanger his usual free meals he got from her.

"Th-thanks for the…offer, Ucchan, but I can't accept. If I moved in here then my…umm…pop, that's it, then my pop would have to move in too and you don't deserve that kind of punishment." Ranma prayed to the gods above that Ukyo would believe his poorly constructed lie.

She didn't seem to believe the lie, however she did accept it. "Okay, Ranma. Just remember that my offer is always there." She added a wink for effect. Unfortunately, it was not have the effect she was hoping for. Instead Ranma became nervous and swallowed the rest of his okonomiyaki quickly.

"Uhhh… Thanks for the food Ucchan. I… uh… should get going. Don't want my pop to get worried about me or nothin'. See ya!" And with that Ranma quickly left the building, not wanting to face anymore discomfort.

Ranma fond himself out on the streets once again, trying to make his way back to the dojo without running into anymore rivals, fiancée or the like. Of course, we all know that when it comes to Ranma, he is lacking luck in abundance.

"Ranma Darling!"

Ranma heard the cry behind him and quickly looked around. But to his astonishment and relief, he saw no one. He faced forward once more and was about to continue his trek home when he saw none other than the infamous 'Black Rose', Kodachi Kuno standing directly in front of him in her usual leotard.

"Ranma Darling," she cried once more, her voice causing a shiver of fear run down his spine. She then reached behind her back and, seemingly from nowhere, pulled out a bag of cookies and presented them to him. "I have made you these cookies to show my love and devotion to you." What Ranma didn't hear was her internal monologue.

'Once he eats my cookies, the paralysis powder will take effect and then I came have my way with him. HAHAHAHAHAHA' Unfortunately for Kodachi, while her monologue may have been internal, her laughter was not, and when she was finished with her expression of delight she opened her eyes and saw that Ranma was nowhere to be seen. However, she did see a figure rush around the corner at the end of the block.

"I will bet it was that pigtailed girl who stole him from underneath my nose," she muttered. "One day I will have my revenge and Ranma will be mine. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" And once again, Kodachi burst into laughter causing many people to choose different routes to their destinations in an effort to avoid the unstable girl.

Ranma was running for dear life towards the Tendo dojo. Kodachi's laughter never failed to disturb him (especially when he didn't know what she was thinking) and nothing short of the hand of God could stop his sprint home. A few minutes later he burst into the Tendo home and let out a sigh of relief.

'I'm safe now,' he thought. 'Now that I'm in the Tendo home there are no freaks to bother-' Ranma's internal musings were cut off however when water was, once again, was dumped over his head which then became her head.

"-me," he finished aloud in exasperation. He turned to face his new tormentor and saw the wrinkled face of the infamous Happosai.

"Ranma!" he exclaimed in glee. "Since you're here, why don't you try these on?" Then a set of bras and panties were shoved in Ranma's face.

"Why you dirty old man! When I get my hands on you you're going to wish you never laid eyes on women's underwear!" Ranma declared.

"I highly doubt that," Happosai responded in obvious mockery. And thus the chase ensued.

After much chaos, a fair amount of yelling and a Happo-Fire Burst or two, Ranma lost track of the pervert.

"Where is that lecher?" Ranma muttered to herself. "I'll bet he's gone to seek comfort from the underwear in his room. Well, that won't save him." Then Ranma quickly made his way towards Happosai's room. She jerked the door open and began yelling.

"Come out and fight me you coward." Seeing nothing in the room except for a dresser and a futon, Ranma decided to take her anger out on the dresser. She picked it up and flung it across the room.

Feeling a little better she began to leave when and object caught her eye. An old leather-bound book had fallen out of what appeared to be a secret compartment on the bottom of the dresser. Intrigued, Ranma picked up the book and skimmed it quickly. Catching words like 'powerful' and 'technique', Ranma decided that the book was worth further investigation and darted up into her room.

"Now that that's over, time to indulge in one of life's simple pleasures," Happosai said with a lecherous chuckle, now having emerged from his hiding place and headed towards his room and his underwear collection within. When he got there he noted his dresser's was tossed across the room. Happosai had a slightly peeved expression on his face.

"That child! It's one thing trying to attack me, put it's completely unacceptable to attack defenseless dresser and the precious panties inside. I'll have to teach him a lesson later." It was then he noticed the secret compartment of his dresser open and its usual content missing. Happosai's body tensed and all signs of humor left his old eyes.

"The fool!" he exclaimed and rushed up towards Ranma's room, hoping to stop the boy before it was too late.

Ranma had skimmed through most of the book. He was disappointed to find that it was mostly about some nameless warrior who had traveled the world, trying to learn every technique there was. Unfortunately, there were no descriptions of any of there techniques making it rather useless for Ranma.

However, near the back of the book there was a page labeled "Spell of Infinite Learning". Ranma was immediately intrigued and began reading.

With this spell no amount of information is beyond you. You can learn everything known to man within one day. However, be warned that…

The words beyond were slightly difficult to read and Ranma didn't feel like trying to decipher it so she skipped past that part and went straight to the spell and began chanting

"Infinitio intus a dies

A dies intus infinitio

Revolvo pro totus vices"

The words on the page began to glow and then the glowing became a bright light. Then the light began to expand, enveloping the entire room. Soon all Ranma could see was the light, and then suddenly… there was darkness.

A/N: Sorry this took forever to write, my timetable has been jammed recently and I haven't had time to do much (and when I did, this never came to mind) I would also like to apologize for the crappy 'spell'. I just used a simple internet 'English to Latin dictionary' and translated the sentence 'Infinity within a day, a day within infinity, repeat for all time.' If anyone feels the urge to find the correct translation, please tell me so I can have some vague sense of authenticity. I am open to all ideas people have for this story. Better to get a bunch of crappy ideas than not get a bunch of good ones. I'm also looking for more proof-readers, so feel free to volunteer.