Wow. I promised myself I'd hate this series even if I never saw it. Then came Shippuuden. :3
So now I've seen all of those—twice—and a total of, like, five eps from other seasons. Hopefully the characters aren't too bizarre due to that. O.o'
I've tried to read a lot of fan fiction to make up for it.
And I take back the promise.
New vow: I promise to love Naruto for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever...
And you get the point, I'm sure.
Enjoy.
"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said, rubbing the back of her hand absently. With a scowl forming on her face, she considered leaning down and forcing herself into her teacher's view if he continued to ignore her. He turned another page in his book and she continued more serious deliberations with a single step forward.
"Mm, Sakura?" Came the slow response.
Smiling, Sakura turned her eyes on the ground and let herself down onto one arm. She lowered herself and sat, knees tucking up to her chest as her hands nestled into the grass and nervously plucked away at the strands. "The bell exercise was surprisingly fun. The first time you did that with us, I went away so frustrated."
Another page turned with a slight flap. Kakashi was silent.
"I didn't see what you were teaching us, back then," Sakura continued, reaching beneath her bent legs to clasp her hands together, "but my distractions were my own fault, I suppose."
Out of the corner of her eye, Sakura could see that her teacher remained unmoved, but she knew it was pointless to expect a response from Kakashi. If he thought talking would serve some purpose, he would, but she really wanted him to talk to her right now—thus, her persistence. It would be, most likely, the only way to coax a reply from him.
"I was so much more entertained with my own appearance that the only thing I thought about after that initial training session was how messy my hair had gotten." Sakura said and paused. Her eyes and brow turned up in embarrassment to the memory.
"That and Sasuke." Kakashi said as he shifted.
Sakura's cheeks flushed at the name, but was otherwise unaffected. She could hear the teasing tone in her teacher's voice and was glad he had found something to say finally. "I was such a silly girl. I had no idea back then; but I was a fool."
From their spot on a grassy hill, overlooking the fields, Sakura could see training ground three. It had taken her a long time to track down Kakashi today, having to do so in-between errands, and now it was evening. The sky was aglow with burgundy and mauve and the sun was already out of sight. Against the colored sky, spots of black, puffy clouds were drifting; looking less like pillows of imagination and more like creeping shadows.
Sakura's arms went instinctively to wrap around her knees, eyes shutting to hide her as the day progressed to a close. Moments passed. She felt an elbow jam into her side and she shot a daring glare to the person beside her.
However, he seemed to have never moved by the way his hand still drifted casually to turn a page. There was a complacency, however, that had not been there before in the way his eyebrows arched. He spoke again without warning. "Not foolish, Sakura-chan, a little unsightly, but you learned."
Sakura's eyes blinked in an expression of astonishment. It took a moment for her mind to process his offered comment. "Unsightly? A childish crush is unsightly?"
The book, thumb sticking inside to mark his place, fell to Kakashi's lap. He looked to her, his only visible eye holding feigned surprise. "Aren't we talking about your old obsession over fashion?"
"We were talking about my crush on Sasuke."
The book rose again, open. Chin high—his eyes and voice lowered—Kakashi seemed to smile. "Ah. But you never mentioned him."
"But you did..." Sakura felt her mouth open and close until it shut firmly. Her lips pressed together as she fought to not hit her teacher in the arm. "Cheap shot, Kakashi-sensei. When I said I was a fool, I was not talking fashion-wise."
"How can I tell? By looking at you..." Kakashi said, murmuring. His eye briefly swept over her then returned to his book.
"My fashion sense was and still is perfect. Don't you dare suggest otherwise." Sakura said, tugging self-consciously at the bottom of her shirt.
"You never change."
Sakura smiled, turning her head away from her teacher, eyes still regarding him warmly. The corners of her mouth tugged as she watched his eye moving to read Icha Icha; his eye being the only feature visible of his face it was the most interesting thing to look at. "Have you shown anyone what's behind that mask of yours, Sensei?"
A slight side-to-side twitch of Kakashi's head was all he offered as an answer. Unrecognizable, if you did not know him well.
"Good. Because if anyone gets to see those fat lips of yours before I do—" Sakura said, leaving the rest of her sentence to be imagined—he knew her well enough, she thought, to come up with an end himself. She bent her forehead down to rest on her knees, moving her arms to hug her legs once again. "Or those buckteeth." A suppressed giggle sprang its way into the dusk atmosphere and she sat up, watching Kakashi with an expectation of some kind of acknowledgement. A chuckle. A cheery crinkle of the skin around his eye; but nothing. A little disappointed, she moved on. "I'm kind'a hurt to know that, even with Naruto back in Konoha, we are not going to be Team 7 again. That's over, and we're Team Kakashi now." she paused before sheepishly adding, "While they're one and the same in comparison, Sasuke's absence bothers me. But I don't mean to imply that without him our team is empty—I mean, it's just different. Whenever I pictured our re-initiation as a team—" She let her chin fall to her knees, huffing in frustration. Why was she failing to say this how she meant it? She took a breath and tried again. "I guess I made Naruto's return a little more significant in my mind. Somehow, I really believed he'd be bringing Sasuke—and the good old days—home with him."
Icha Icha suddenly closed, nary a sound, and was tucked away in Kakashi's back pouch. He leaned back, tucking his hands under his head and closed his eye.
Sakura stared. A little put out by his cold demeanor, she frowned. Was he even interested in the conversation anymore? Had talk of Team 7 bothered him that much? She lifted her head from the cradle of her knees and made the effort to stand and brush herself off.
Only to feel a hand grip her ankle and tug gently.
She looked down. And there was her teacher, one hand wrapped around her leg as casually as if he had done such a thing to her every day. She held back a smile and instead opted to knead her brow together skeptically at him.
After another second, Kakashi released her and patted the ground beside him. "I didn't dismiss you yet."
Sakura blew a frustrated, yet grateful, puff of air into her pink bangs and flopped back down—laying down, a foot from Kakashi. Her head rolled to direct her gaze at him. "I'm sorry."
"Should be. I'm your superior. How rude of you to just get up and walk away like that." Kakashi said, eye closing lazily.
Sakura's head lolled back and she stared up at the stars just peeping through the growing darkness. "I meant for bringing up Team 7."
"What else are we going to talk about?"
The question was so innocent. Sakura nearly laughed at herself; when she thought she would be laughing at Kakashi. Somehow, she wanted it to be that easy.
Why wasn't it?
"I don't know." Sakura said after another moment.
"You some more?"
"As if that's all we've talked about." Sakura protested, arms crossing over her chest.
"Mm."
"We have not!"
Kakashi's hand lifted up and for a breath hitching second Sakura thought he was going to pull down his mask. Merely, he scratched gingerly at his cheek. "That's right," he said calmly, "Sasuke."
Sakura winced as her teeth dug into her bottom lip. "Naruto—Sensei," she paused, then remembered, "he gave you that book, ne? How is it?"
The look Kakashi offered by means of his eye was a mix of shock, regret, discomfort, and humor. He settled back again quickly, covering his reaction, and waved his hand as if trying to waft an odor. "Jiraiya's best yet." He still managed to look rigid and uncomfortable, despite attempts otherwise.
Sakura hid her amusement. "You pick the next topic."
Kakashi seemed to relax. "If the conversation is over we shouldn't drag ourselves through mud to resurrect it."
"What's so great about that book anyway?" The teasing light in Sakura's eyes brightened though she didn't look at her sensei.
Calmly and gently Kakashi redirected the conversation. "How's your medical work going, Sakura?" He yawned and laid an arm over his eyes.
Grinning, Sakura settled into leaning toward Kakashi her head resting on the back of her left wrist. Her right hand plucked grass and she casually tossed each strand away. "Tsunade-sama says I'm coming along wonderfully. She seems to think I can be as good a medic-nin as I care to make myself."
"The Hokage better hope she doesn't get replaced, then."
Sakura's emerald eyes widened and she propped up a little on her elbow at the unexpected compliment. "I could never do that. Naruto is going to be Hokage."
The arm that had lain over Kakashi's face limply fell away. "A high dream, Sakura-chan, but I was talking about her becoming replaced at the hospital."
Sakura laid back again, feeling sheepish. "You don't think I could be a Hokage?"
"You'll be what you want to be, Sakura-chan."
The sky had grown very dim by now. Lacking the reddish hues it had displayed before, the horizon had faded into a deep indigo violet color. A breeze was ushered through the small stand of trees behind them and sprinted quietly across the pool of pond water that stood beside that. Neither of the people stretched out on the grass turned to notice or acknowledge the ripples that spread then dwindled. A hush of uncomfortable silence had placed itself between the friends. The rise of expectations, goals, and assumptions in their conversation had brought to mind the very discussion they did not want to have.
It was a talk from two years before they had yet to revisit, and maybe needed to.
Once Sasuke had abandoned Konoha, and Naruto had left with Jiraiya not long after that, Kakashi had been ordered to spend much of his time out of Konoha on S-rank missions leaving Sakura as the sole—and lonely—member of Team 7.
Near the one-month anniversary of Naruto's absence, she had found herself sitting at the Ichiraku Ramen Bar—besides Kakashi, of all people. She had just ordered her ramen—and feeling morose over this reminder of Naruto—was surprised to hear a familiar voice beside her, also ordering ramen. In a moment, she was sobbing, shoulders shuddering as she fought the reaction to echoed memories. Kakashi couldn't see this. She would not allow herself this display in front of her former teacher. He was a man she had looked up to, and next to Sasuke the only one she had sought to impress. Dismayed, she observed the tears falling down her cheeks make a leap into her uneaten soup. They grossly mixed together as her mind stammered reasons she should pull herself back together. It was not as if she was hungry any longer, she did not need the ramen—she could just run away; do anything to avoid looking weak. But as she sat there, hunched over and chest heaving, she felt more and more that roots had grown from her, into the chair. More and more, that she was confused and distraught and that she was chiefly tired of feeling alone. When had she changed from a teenager goofing off without a care to a young woman trying to piece together a life?
Then a lazy arm was draped over her shoulders and she immediately ceased all crying. Her head lifted and turned, her waterlogged green eyes peered shyly around her long, pink bangs to see who exactly had made this intimate gesture. She sniffled, still more surprised when it finally registered.
Leaning on the ramen bar on one elbow, cheek in hand, Kakashi-sensei was, easily, all-too-casual with her; but it didn't matter. Sakura's mind was suddenly a blur. She poured out her feelings about Sasuke, Naruto, and Team 7 to him and he listened in silence. Perhaps it should have been awkward to her the way his arm lay limply across her upper back with his wrist being the only point of any real pressure atop her far shoulder; or the way his fingertips skimmed the skin where his hand hung beside her upper-arm. It was all strangely comforting. An offer of reassuring words, however, was absent when she had finished babbling. It was replaced by a lazy eye that watched her with subtle warmness.
Sakura had stopped then, at a loss for more words and Kakashi's arm was then quickly removed with a curt apology at having to leave—places to go, and all that—and disappeared around the corner of the ramen bar at a languid gait.
Even Teuchi, the ramen cook, had stopped and closed his shop for an entire hour just to listen to her half formed sentences, and trembling blubbers. He offered a few choice words, wisdoms, and a proverb to her, but they were all cliché, despite the honesty of them. Sakura was thankful he had cared as much, but Kakashi on the other hand—well;
Somewhere in his silent, odd—and perhaps misplaced—gesture, Kakashi had managed to give her the knowledge she needed. In fact, it was as if he had taken a paper bag off of his head and looked at her for the first time. She knew some would have just called it paying attention, but Sakura was convinced otherwise. The arm resting over her shoulders had not moved to press her closer or squeeze her, or do anything but lay there. He had been voicing that he was there for her, steadily but without force. And his eye—because it had never moved from watching her face and the tears that rolled down them she knew he was telling her that he understood.
She had not been crying to just a ninja mask and eye patch after all.
She was not alone.
Sakura had been able to sort out her feelings by herself, after that. Sasuke had betrayed them, yes, but maybe not forever. She could live with the simple hope that he too could sort feelings out and realize what was right and good—even if he still did not love her that way.
The phrase 'all good things come to an end' was 'enough said' for Team 7.
And she had come up with 'what isn't dead hasn't died—maybe never will'. Naruto was off training. It wasn't like he had gone to war and would never return. Sure, ninjas have short average life spans; but this was Naruto. The kid had as many spare lives as he had smiles in a day. He was also loyal as heck. He'd be back soon enough. Waiting games weren't too hard to play once you knew the rules.
Sakura blinked and jerked her head up when the realization that she had been silent—for what must have been near ten minutes—came running across her thoughts. She looked over at Kakashi who lay beside her; he looked asleep. She relaxed back and stared up at the stars that had almost fully emerged. The small spitfires that blinked and winked overhead made her feel small. She wondered, almost sadly, if Sasuke was looking up at the same constellations—she knew, though, who he would not be thinking about. A sigh escaped her. She had been here long enough; she had kept Kakashi here long enough.
Pressing her hands to the ground, Sakura sat up. She pushed her fingers into her bangs and arranged them around her face as she looked to her left. "Can I go, Kakashi-Sensei?"
"Mm."
Kakashi's one-word answer prompted Sakura to smile. "Thanks for the talk," she said, rising to her feet. She started to walk away, hands clasped together behind her back as she stared up at the sky. The stars were beautiful tonight.
"Is that all you wanted?" Kakashi said without warning, a hint of surprise in his voice.
"Oh," Sakura turned back, arms swinging loose to her sides, "yes." Unnerved, she felt her hands curl up and her arms stiffen as Kakashi sat up and seemed to be about to stand. He watched her steadily and she began to wish he wouldn't. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking.
Kakashi got up by shifting forward onto the balls of his feet and straightening his knees from his crouched position. With his hands stuffed into his pockets, he slouched towards her. "Walk you home."
Sakura felt a blush crawl from one cheek to the other despite growing indignation. She was seriously debating just walloping Kakashi and telling him off—something she was known to do with Naruto, but opted for politeness instead. He was her former teacher, after all, and deserved that much. "Thanks, but I don't need you to. I can walk myself home." She turned away, satisfied that she had made herself clear.
Oh, dear— An arm was placed haphazardly over her shoulders suddenly, weighing them down as the hand on the end of it flashed a V-sign. She looked at it wide eyed, then at him; at his face where he appeared to be smiling a little beneath his mask. —he was doing it again.
"Ha ha," Kakashi's voice had risen cheerfully as he gently tugged her towards Konoha, "c'mon, before it gets too late."
Evidently, this 'I'll walk you home' business was not something she had a choice about.
Sakura allowed herself to be pulled along beside her teacher, but harnessed growing disquiet as Kakashi's arm remained lamely where it had been placed. She was not sure what to think. He had a way of being comforting, but she felt that his methods could use some fine tuning. This was a bit much.
After a few more steps, the weight of Kakashi's arm vanished and Sakura felt a breath she had been holding hostage race free. She dared not look at him in case he was calm. His composure could only serve to make her more uncomfortable; but she did glance over a little when she thought she heard a soft chuckle. Blinking slowly and looking entirely in a different direction, Kakashi did not appear anything but impassive.
Darn it. She just had to look.
Curse his aptitude for ease under stress.
They were soon away from the training fields and into the outer suburbs of Konoha with a pace that was barely more than dull. She felt awkward, but was at a loss for conversation. She had used up the topics that did not seem trite or random in their earlier conversation—at least, the ones she could think of off the top of her head. She settled for walking a step behind Kakashi in order to watch him and he would be unable to watch her without noticeably turning his head.
In the end, it was not very comforting and she felt overall very silly. What would Sasuke say if he saw her acting like this?
"Baka," most likely, she thought with a sigh.
Sakura sped up to put herself back in step with Kakashi and felt her shoulder clip the corner of a building as she passed too close to it around a corner. She winced, yet continued to keep up with the ninja beside her.
As it was late in the evening and edging on night time, the streets were fairly empty. They passed by a few late strollers and a few people returning from work, but otherwise there was no one. The dirt beneath them crunched with every rhythmic footfall and with every step Sakura felt more annoyed with her own lack of creative conversation. The hush between them was borderline agonizing by the time they reached her front door. Grateful for some distraction, she pulled out her key and began to fumble it into the lock. As her home opened with a click, she turned to thank Kakashi.
He was already five yards down the road and still going.
Sakura bit her lip, considered storming her way into her house and just being angry at him, but her emotions settled. She did not have the heart to be mad at him, not after he had sat with her for so long, even if he did have a habit of freaking her out. Bravely, she stepped forward and lifted an arm, waving even though she knew he would not see it. Her voice founds words.
"Oyasumi, Kakashi! Arigatou!"
Kakashi did not pause or slow, but his right hand withdrew from his pocket and was held up in farewell. In seconds, it was gone again into his pocket and he was vanishing around a corner.
Sakura smiled. She had missed Sasuke more than ever today. It was not as if she did not now, but she had been reminded of her hope. At the same time, her emotions were fickle things, and she felt more confused than ever.
The bright haired kunoichi backed up until she found herself bumping into the doorframe. She leaned into it, her hands wrapping around its edges as she found her balance while tilted there in the doorway. She had early hospital duties in the morning and training in the late afternoon, but she could not bring herself to go completely into the apartment, shut it, and put the day to rest. It was as if her life was beginning again after a long sabbatical because Naruto was home. Things were picking up where they had left off, yet everyone was different, she still missed Sasuke, and she felt uneasy. Or had, up until talking to Kakashi.
Finally, after one last glance at the star speckled sky, Sakura forced herself inside and shut the door. She pressed her back to it with her hands still wrapped tightly around the handle.
Good? Bad?
Let's go with the first, eh? Harhar. :P
R&R with some con crit. I live for that stuff.
Thanks for reading. :)