I gotta say, writing the grieving of those left behind was even harder than writing the actual death itself.

Grief... grief is just hard to deal with.

"When someone dies, their pain doesn't disappear. Their pain is just transferred to the people closest to them."

Promises Not Made are Promises Never Kept

Chapter Thirty-Seven: The Aftermath

"Dearheart..."

He was there above him, smiling at him in that gentle way of his. When he smiled, it was like the whole world grew brighter, and he felt truly at peace.

Truly happy.

As long as you keep smiling, my skies will never be gray.

He reached up to touch the other's face.

You are my happy thought, after all.

"Sasuke?"

He opened his eyes, feeling them wet with tears and knowing why without even thinking about it. It had seemed like such a dream. But as he turned his head to survey the other people in the room looking down at him, it became very clear to him. It had happened. It was real.

He's dead.

Slowly, as he shifted up into a sitting position, his eyes went to every face in the room, lingering for a moment there. Most of them were filled with sadness, others pity. They looked down upon him with sorrowful, heavy eyes.

He. He felt numb. Even as the silent tears streamed down his cheeks, even as he looked down at his hands and saw them trembling, it was like his inner self was only a mere shell of what it had been. It reminded him of all those years ago, when the first great wounds in his soul had been carved with his big brother's own blade, and he knew that when the next great wave came, he didn't know if he'd be able to withstand it.

It was, after all, all his fault this time.

"Sasuke."

The voice, trying not to shake, trying to remain neutral but simultaneously filled with so many painfully human emotions, made him look back up - to Inaré. Her gaze was intense, hard, with her elbows tucked close to her body and fists clenched tightly at her sides, and Sasuke knew she was doing her best not to let one tear escape as her very eyes seemed to quiver with the strain. He could only gaze at her, knowing he had not only failed Haku, Zabuza, his family, but her too.

Her. His betrothed. The woman he was supposed to love, to spend the rest of his life with.

How would he ever be able to make this right again? Did 'right' even exist anymore, without him?

"Inaré," he breathed softly. Her face twisted into a painful grimace, and her next words were spoken through clenched teeth.

"You ate Kaoru."

Sasuke looked at her with an expression of grief and regret that words could not express. It hurt Naruto so much to see, he had to turn his face away. After a moment, as the silence lengthened between the two teammates, Kakashi had to divert his gaze too. The energy between them was too raw, too pure and agonizing and awful.

There were no excuses. No apologies for what he had done. Sasuke knew that. His bottom lip trembled.

"Inaré..." he murmured. "He killed Haku."

Her lips scrunched into a pale line, and she nodded, beginning to blink furiously.

"I know," she managed as she swayed side-to-side. "I know." Then her control failed her and sobbing, "I know!", she ran forward and threw herself at him, wrapping her arms tightly around him and choking through tears as she cried so hard she couldn't breathe. Everyone watched in solemn silence as Sasuke returned the embrace, burying his fingers into Inaré's hair and shoving his face into it, hoping it would come to life and squeeze the breath out of him. It was only what he justly deserved.

"I'm so sorry, Inaré," he managed to choke out as he clung to her, feeling the warm comfort of another body and realizing he so desperately needed it. "I'm so sorry I let this happen!"

"No, no stupid, it's all my fault!" She sobbed back. "If I had just listened to you, if I had just done anything else than what I did, we all would've been okay! Itachi was right! You're so much better than me! I was a fool to think I could ever be of any worth to you!"

Sasuke shook his head, pulling away from Inaré just enough to take her face in his hands and press their foreheads together, with intention and purpose. He sat there for a moment with her in silence, and after a couple of quiet breaths, Inaré caught onto his energy and was able to match it, closing her eyes.

"If there is anything Itachi is wrong about, it is about you," he told her, his voice strong in its resolution. "He may have been right about me, but he will always be wrong about you." She opened her eyes as he spoke, and they looked at each other for a long moment, their foreheads still pressed against each other. One Inaré's hand moved cup his face, while the other rested on his thigh. "You are one of the most powerful people I have ever known, in both spirit and strength. What I have seen you fight for is stronger, and more important than anything the Akatsuki is chasing after. What I have seen you sacrifice for your dreams, even with everything standing in your way, has always inspired me." Sasuke cradled her head in his hands, and she closed her eyes. "You were not gifted this place by my side. You earned it. Don't ever, ever forget that."

She let out a long sigh.

"In the blinding darkness..." she breathed, "of the night, it seems simple."

Sasuke listened to these words fondly, and closed his eyes too.

"All I know is that I love you, here, right now," he murmured. Inaré shivered at his words, and she pulled her forehead away, making him open his eyes and look at her. As she gazed at him, she reached over and took his hands in hers.

"I'm so happy you're okay," she admitted breathlessly, squeezing his palms as everyone looked on. Sasuke smiled at her, this time mostly in relief. For now, it looked like Inaré had decided to forgive him about Kaoru. It still made him feel awful, but he didn't think he could handle the grief over Haku and the regret over killing Inaré's combat companion and friend because of that grief simultaneously.

Well, I'M uncomfortable. Kakashi thought as he gazed at the side wall. But... his eyes drifted back over to Sasuke and Inaré, at the fierce bond they so obviously shared. Why am I embarrassed? Sasuke... found love. He smiled weakly beneath his mask. And she seems as devoted to him. Why am I embarrassed about something so pure?

Maybe it was how open they were? How young they were? Or the powerful aura they cast around them? When was the last time he had seen love so tangible between two people?

Is this what people mean when they say 'young love'?

For some reason, he felt like this was far more than that. This wasn't fleeting or whimsical. This was serious devotion that he could almost touch.

I wonder... Zabuza thought as he watched, his mind on the body in the morgue. I wonder if she will be enough to save him.

"So... what exactly was that, Sasuke?"

Sasuke raised his eyes to see Kakashi standing there a few feet away, standing on the same roof the Terranova was. The boy gazed at him with sad eyes before looking out at the setting sun, fingers loosely entwined in his lap.

"I don't want to talk about it," came the quiet reply. Kakashi sighed, taking a seat next to him.

"In about twelve hours I will meet in front of the council of the newly-deceased Third Hokage," he began, "and during that meeting, I will have to explain to them exactly what happened on the day of the Sound attack, and convince them that the dragon that destroyed a portion of our village was not an open declaration of war."

"That shouldn't be too hard," Sasuke replied cryptically. "The council is full of morons but even they can realize that the battle only happened in the first place because I was trying to save one of theirs from two ninja who are enemies of both of our villages."

"So disrespectful," Kakashi swore in disappointment, making Sasuke lower his eyes and look away. "You're lucky you didn't wake up in chains."

The Terranova rolled his eyes.

"As if they could hold me."

"Sasuke!" His former teacher scolded. "Stop being such a spoiled brat! These are serious consequences we're talking about!"

"Oh, yeah, serious consequences that I don't care about!" Sasuke snapped back. "You can tell the council they can do whatever the fuck they want with me if it means they'll shut the hell up about it!" He directed his gaze back to the sunset. "I'm already being punished more than anything they could ever do to me."

Kakashi closed his eyes in regret, those words sharply reminding him of the grief and guilt eating the young man alive before him.

"I'm sorry," he breathed, his tone immediately softening. "I'm just... worried about you, Sasuke. I'm afraid they won't understand, and I'm worried that they'll force you and Inaré into a situation where you will have no choice but to do more things that you will regret. All I want is for you to get out of this in one piece, but I can't help you do that unless I'm able to give the council some solid information. You might as well be a rogue ninja, Sasuke. You're powerful and unpredictable. You scare them."

Sasuke rubbed his eyes and sighed in exasperation.

"Yes, I know, I'm sorry, I just..." he pulled his knees up into his chest. "It hurts, just trying to process it all. Starting that journey of trying to accept it, like I had to with my parents. Existence..." his voice broke a little, "existence fucking sucks right now."

"I can understand that feeling," Kakashi replied with grim amusement. "I'm sorry, Sasuke. I wish things had gone differently, but they didn't, and we are the survivors. So we just have to make do however we can." He closed his eyes, and slowly lifted a hand to set it on Sasuke's shoulder. The boy swallowed thickly, but seemed to welcome the touch. "You are not alone in this, Sasuke. You were forced to carry the burden of your parents' death alone, but this time it's different. Now you have people who care about you who are willing to share in your grief. It's never going to stop hurting, but you will survive it with your people beside you."

Sasuke's lips pulled into a grim smile, and he lifted a hand to set it on the hand that rested on his shoulder. For a moment they sat there, appreciating the human connection.

With a sigh, Sasuke removed his hand and thusly Kakashi removed his.

"Everything just kind of happened simultaneously," the Terranova began quietly. "I..." the words died on his lips, and then he turned his head to give Kakashi an even stare. "Kakashi," he began. "I tell you this next part in absolute confidence. The council does not need to know this."

Kakashi blinked, and nodded at his ex-student before lifting his hand and setting his fist on his chest. On my life.

Licking his lips nervously, Sasuke turned his gaze away from Kakashi and stared at his hands.

"I..." he swallowed thickly. "I was about to give Naruto over to Itachi and Kisame." The words filled his eyes with tears, and Kakashi could only stare at him numbly. "I couldn't keep my promise... Itachi had Inaré and I had promised to protect her a long time ago. I-I couldn't..." he wiped his eyes on his arm. "I couldn't save them both. I had to choose. I figured we'd get Naruto back somehow if he were captured, maybe before he even was able to leave the village, but a dead Inaré..." he shook his head at the irony. "That I wouldn't be able to change. So I was about to give him over." His lips pursed. "As they thought they had won, I could feel their guard lower the littlest bit. Then, everything just kind of happened at once." He drew a shaky breath, and closed his eyes.

"Dagina tried to protect Naruto. She must've sensed my frustration, my regret, and tried to take it upon herself to save the situation. Her and Kaoru both. Kisame ended up punching Dagina in the belly, and it stopped me in my tracks. Kaoru was able to get Itachi away from Inaré, but then he came after me. And then..." Tears welled up in his eyes as he remembered, and they ran down his cheeks. Kakashi set his hand on his back, the Jounin's palm warm against the boy's surprisingly chill back. He could feel the boy quivering beneath him in an attempt to control the sobs. "And then Haku... got between us..." In slow motion, it replayed in his mind. The rustle of Haku's clothes as he moved, the flutter of his hair in the wind. Sasuke's name on his lips.

The warmth of the blood that splashed against Sasuke's face.

He raised his hand and with trembling fingers, set his fingertips on his cheek where it had landed. He could almost still feel it, as warm and as horrifying as it had been.

"He... he was dead before he even fell into my arms," he continued thickly, barely coherent through his sadness. "The rest... the rest is just so blurry..." he ran his fingers through his hair. "I remember... dark energy, trying to take over me."

"The energy of the Curse Mark?" Kakashi asked. Sasuke struggled to think.

"I... I think so," he replied. "I remember pain, and Ragnarok was screaming at me, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. There was a big explosion." He shook his head. "Then all of the sudden the pain and the dark energy was gone, but after they left I just began to burn. I felt like I was burning alive. I suddenly had so much Chakra at once, more than Ragnarok had ever given me in the past. It was roasting me, cooking me, and I felt myself changing." He shivered at the memory. "It was like my entire body had become some sick experiment. My bones started growing, my joints started breaking and reforming into different shapes. And before I knew it, I towered over everything, including Itachi." He closed his eyes. "I don't remember the battle at all. I don't even remember..." he jerked, "eating Kaoru. I just can't..." he sighed. "That wolf meant so much to her. She will never forgive me."

"Do you remember maybe why you would do something like that?"

Sasuke allowed himself to fall back against the roof and peered at the darkening sky through his fingers, his hand half-covering his face.

"...Power," he replied after a long moment. "I needed more power."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, "why would eating Kaoru give you more power?"

Sasuke sighed.

"It has to deal with the whole reason why they were able to put Ragnarok inside me in the first place," he explained. "You see, apparently, in the past, the energy was too great for any one host to bear. It killed them one hundred percent of the time. So the elders decided to split up the power into four pieces."

"You, and the three animals," Kakashi realized. Sasuke nodded.

"Yes," he confirmed. "According to the legend, the Swallow, Tiger, and Wolf were three of Ragnarok's most loyal children. They were the ones that went to him when the war really began to devolve, and, they begged him to reconsider killing his people and begged for him to try and reconcile with the humans. Ragnarok..." Sasuke closed his eyes. "Ragnarok ended up eating them. To regain his lost power and to refuel his strength for conquest."

Kakashi's eyes widened, and he looked up, a little past Sasuke's shoulder, and imagined the god standing there next to them, listening to every word. He wondered what the entity was feeling as he listened.

Probably nothing. He can't feel, remember?

"So..." Kakashi began, trying to piece it all together. "They put the soul of Ragnarok, along with a portion of his power, into you, and split the remaining into the three animals, which were then given you and your team as guardians."

"And those animals in addition granted us great power," Sasuke continued for him. "It's part of the reason my team was so young but so strong. But Moira vanished as soon as Haku died, and that power returned to its original source - to Ragnarok, which was then given to me because of the terrible timing. Kaoru... Kaoru was the same way. When she died, I gained all of her power."

I suppose that explains why Sasuke ate Kaoru, and why his dragon form changed shape when he did, Kakashi mused. He was gaining power... evolving.

"So, Dagina is the last one left," Kakashi murmured. "Sasuke, you said all the hosts that experienced the full extent of Ragnarok's power died, right?" The boy nodded, and Kakashi looked at him worriedly. "So, if Dagina dies, and you get her power... does that mean you die too?"

"Man, I really hope not," Sasuke replied, not sounding too particularly concerned. "But honestly, no I don't think so." He looked up into the night sky. "Over the years, I have been embedding Inaré with a little bit of power at a time. Ragnarok saw the sense in it and even helped me do it without her noticing. That's part of the reason she and Kaoru made such a powerful team. They were feeding off each other's energy, never knowing it was because they shared the same energy." He sighed. "And now that will never happen again. Fuck, Inaré loved her. Every time she sees Dagina she's going to think of her."

A chilly wind began to blow, and Kakashi shook his head.

"You heard her back there," he said. "She's just happy you're alive."

"Yes, and when that gratitude turns into resentment, what do I do then?" Sasuke asked bitterly. Kakashi smiled at him beneath the mask.

"You both are still young. She has plenty of time to develop a new style that you will help her discover," Kakashi reassured him. "Plus, she loves you. It'll be rough for a while, but you will overcome."

Sasuke managed a weak smile.

"Thank you, Kakashi. Those words mean a lot," he told his ex-teacher. "I'm..." he pursed his lips together. "I'm very... grateful, to have you here with me." There was an amused pause as he smiled a little more. "Again."

Kakashi's own smile widened, and he lifted a hand to rest it on Sasuke's head. After a moment, he pulled the boy closer to his chest, and Sasuke welcomed the motion as he could feel the comforting heat radiating from the Jounin's chest..

"The feeling is mutual, Sasuke," he breathed to the boy softly. I'm glad I'm here too. "Now Sasuke, we should go. It's getting chilly up here." Reluctantly, they both moved into a stand. "I appreciate you talking with me, truly. I will not leave that meeting until they know you are no threat."

Sasuke smiled at him.

"Thank you, Kakashi," he replied. "I appreciate that, truly."

Oh Kakashi, you worry too much. They worry too much. He thought darkly. After all...

The only threat I pose now is to myself.

End Chapter Thirty-Seven: The Aftermath

Much love, beautiful souls.

DDB