Disclaimer: For the last time: not mine!

A/N: the wait is over! The final chapter has arrived! If you're reading this right now, thank you :) The rest of what I wanna say is at the end, please read. Enjoy!

Readers are needed. Reviewers are wanted.

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Big Bad's Back

Chapter 15 – Choices

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She knew he was going to lose, saw it in the brief moments that she had to look over at the fighting couple, but it was only when Robin got wearily to his feet that she managed to take her chance.

Pulling the knife free from her calf, Buffy quickly aimed and hurled it towards the First's back, having just enough time to see that she had hit her mark before being forced to turn her attention to the swarm of demons around her.

The army of Slayers fought on, their opponents never tiring, and although they had extra skill and strength on their side, they were still only human. And they were weakening from exhaustion.

Buffy fought on, the painful grind in her shoulder becoming more pronounced with every movement. Swinging her blade smoothly through the sinewy neck of her latest opponent, she turned only to be met by the sight of a Bringer and four burly demons targeting her. Her eyes widened with amazement and slight fear.

It was never going to end.

And then, suddenly, it did.

Simultaneously, each of the demons froze in their actions. For a split second a ripple surged through the Firsts army, causing the soldiers to shiver under its weight, and then they dropped like flies. All of them.

The Slayer army stood dumbfounded, not sure if it was a trick on the First's part or if their minds had snapped and this was a mirage. But the demons, who had been fighting so ferociously only seconds before, were lying lifeless on the ground and gradually the fighters saw this and tentative grins began to light their features as they realised what had happened. Some of the girls realised that a few Bringers still posed a target and were disposing of them, their joy overcoming the pain from their wounds.

They had won, and didn't yet know how, but Buffy knew.

She looked to her right, and her breath stopped as her eyes alighted on the couple. None of the others had seen them yet, so none of them had seen Robin gently cradling and rocking Faith's limp body. Her gaze drifted to the bloody knife beside them, and she understood, she respected and she grieved.

A hand gently touched her shoulder and she turned sharply to meet the crystal blue gaze of Spike.

She sighed in relief that he was alright, and pulled him in for a brief, loving kiss before turning her sights back to the broken couple, leading his gaze there too. She felt him tense and a sharp sigh escape his chest as he saw the reason why the demons had fallen.

"He broke the connection," Buffy whispered, feeling his hand squeeze her waist tightly, "Without it, the demons had no source, that's why they stopped."

Spike barely heard her words, his eyes and mind full of the sight before him. He remembered how he had felt when Buffy had sacrificed herself to save Dawn, but for her death to be a result of his own hand? It would have gratified him once, but now he knew that if he was forced to kill her, he would only wait until sunrise for his punishment. He was filled with sorrow and pain for this man, but also a deep respect towards him for doing something that saved everyone at the price of his own soul.

Buffy turned to say something to him, perhaps to ask him a question, but the words never left her mouth as his eyes rolled up into the back of his head and he collapsed into a black heap on the ground.

"Spike?! Spike!" she knelt beside him, trying to shake him into consciousness, searching for wounds, but his mind was far away and surrounded by a vast whiteness. He had only just recognised his surroundings when a familiar voice rained down on him.

"YOUR TASK IS COMPLETE. IT IS TIME FOR YOUR CHOICE, VAMPIRE."

His eyes widened. "Bloody hell, you can't expect me to tell you now? Can't you give a bloke some thinking time?"

"YOU HAVE HAD TIME, AND WITH IT YOU HAVE HELPED DEFEAT THE FIRST ONCE MORE. NOW, CHOOSE YOUR REWARD."

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Angel helped Buffy carry Spike's limp body into the main room where she laid him down on the sofa, quickly shutting the blinds against the rising sun. Then she returned to the group out front. After the gruelling battle, the death toll was surprisingly low – only 27 girls, including Faith – but that didn't make the losses any easier. Their bodies had, to her dismay and slight horror, been left where they had fallen due to lack of space for such a large cremation to take place in her back yard, but the group would return to the battle scene later in the evening to commemorate the loss of their friends.

Another cremation, in such a short time, she sighed heavily.

The group of girls in front of her entered the house with heavy expressions, and for the first time since their arrival, they were quiet whilst waiting for their turn in the shower. The rest of the weary army had returned to their respective hotel rooms or houses and the plan was to all meet up for the funeral later on.

The only exceptions were Giles, Angel and Robin, who – against all suggestions otherwise – had wanted to walk back on his own, after the others.

Buffy would never forget the dead, void stare of Robin as she went over to him. Tear tracks had glistened on his face, but no fresh tears were flowing and by the guilt and grief shadowing his features, she had doubted that he would ever display that much emotion again.

Her attention was brought back to the present when Dawn paused in front of her and smiled. "Are you okay?"

She gently returned the smile, and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her sister's ear: "I suppose."

"Do you know what's wrong with Spike yet?"

Buffy shook her head, to which Dawn said: "Whatever it is, he'll make it. He's strong." Her older sister just gave a small smile in reply, and they hugged tightly before entering the house.

Giles was waiting for her inside, and she approached him: "Another year, another apocalypse stopped."

Her Watcher smiled briefly, finished cleaning his glasses and replaced them as he replied, "Yes, though unfortunately not without losses. Did you speak with Robin?"

"I tried. All he said was to leave without him," she paused before continuing: "He was so...broken. His eyes..."

"I can't imagine what he's going through. We've all lost loved ones, but for their death to be of our own hand?" Giles shook his head. "The pain he's in must be overwhelming."

It is, Buffy thought, remembering how she had felt in the dark time after she had been forced to kill Angel. It eats you whole.

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After a day of restlessly trying to sleep, Buffy was standing with the group that she had known and loved since high school as well as her sister and surrounded by the Slayers, some of whom had travelled over continents to come and fight with them.

They were all standing around a low, wide funeral pyre that held all of those who had given their lives for the cause. Once again, the remaining Elder Slayer lit a branch using Spike's lighter and spread the flames until they caught and began burning brightly, smoke curling into the navy evening sky.

Most of the girls were crying silently as they watched their friends' bodies being engulfed by the iridescent flames. Around her, Willow and Xander were clinging to each other whilst Giles had his hand tightly on Dawn's shoulder as the girl stared glassily at the pyre. Buffy wished that Spike had woken up so that he could be there with her, so that she didn't have to go through watching these girls and her friend burn on her own.

As if hearing her thoughts, she felt Angel come up silently behind her. Taking up the unspoken offer, she leant back lightly onto his shoulder and felt one of his hands land on her arm and squeeze softly.

Opposite from her, slightly separated from the whole group, stood Robin.

His face was in shadow, but his eyes were trained on the form in the middle of the pyre. He watched as the fire caught in her clothing and her hair and then focused solely on her features. Faith's eyes were closed, her mouth relaxed and she looked at peace, something that wholly gave away the fact that she was dead, for she had never been peaceful when alive, and even as she slept a small frown had creased her forehead. Something he knew, having slept beside her for over a year.

When the flames began to lick at her cheeks, he turned away, unable to look anymore. Picking up the small bag at his side, he walked to the car he had rented and drove off.

He didn't look back.

Not long after his departure, the group decided to leave as well, leaving the fire to convert the bodies into ash. It was only then, surfacing from her reverie, that Buffy realised Robin was missing. Acting on a hunch, she rang the hotel and asked to be connected to his room. The clerk informed her that the occupant had paid the bill and left, but that the woman's clothing was still there whilst the man's was missing. He asked her what to do with them, but she had already hung up.

Robin Wood had gone. Where, she couldn't think, but she knew that he wouldn't want to meet with any of those people connected with his past. She silently wished that he would find some sort of peace.

Back at the house, Buffy immediately went to check on Spike, but found the sofa empty. She began to check the rest of the house, and she had just finished upstairs when a voice reached her from behind: "He's in the basement."

It was Angel, and she walked down the stairs to meet him. "Thanks...what's with the keys?"

Her first love looked at the keys in question as he replied: "I thought, seeing as the First was gone, at least for a while, I – well, I should really get back to LA. Let the guys know what happened."

She nodded in understanding, realising as she looked up at him that even though they were nowhere near as close as they used to be, she would always be sad to see him leave. With a smile on her features, she leant in and they kissed for a few moments before breaking apart. "Thanks for coming, for your help."

He smiled back: "Anytime."

And then he was gone, his form melting into the late evening. She spent a few moments watching him before closing the door and making her way to the basement. As he had said, Spike was there sitting on a workbench, toying with a cigarette pack.

"Have a nice nap?" she quipped, but knew immediately that joking was out of the question when she saw the torment in his eyes. Making her way over to him, she sat beside him: "Spike? What is it?"

"It was the Powers, they needed to speak with me because I had 'finished my task,'" he began, eyes fixed on the pack in front of him. "Tossers told me that I had to make my choice there and then, but I convinced 'em that I needed some time-"

"What choice?" Buffy asked, dread pooling in her stomach.

Now he looked up at her, monitoring her reaction: "Because I helped stop the First when I didn't have to, I can either stay here, or go back. To heaven." He paused to let this sink in, hearing her breath quicken and his gaze returned to the pack in his hands. "If I stay, there's no guarantee that when I die again I'll go to the same place, depending on what I do with my life and..." Spike trailed off, not having anything else to say, waiting for her explosion.

It took her a moment to reply, and even then it was only a quiet murmur: "If you stay?"

He didn't reply, and that only increased her feelings of anger and betrayal. "You mean you don't know what you're going to do?" Silence. "For god's sake Spike, answer me!"

His tone was calm, pleading when he replied: "Buffy, you love your sister more than anyone in the world," she frowned, wondering where he was going with this but he cut off her question. "But even so, when you came back...I know how you felt. You told me. It didn't matter how much you loved her, or your friends, because you longed for the peace and completion of where you'd been. Can't you see that I'm in the same situation? Backed into a bloody corner?"

She shook her head in denial, getting up to put some space between them: "No, no, you can't leave. You're the one that doesn't leave. Spike," she stopped pacing, finally turning to face him, and his heart ached at the sight of tears in her eyes. "I love you," she whispered.

He was immediately in front of her, wiping the tears away with his thumb as she leaned into him. "I know, luv, and you know better than most how much I love you...but I can't not go and see what my other option is."

She looked up at him: "Go and see?"

"If I decide to go...to leave, I need to go back to Sunnydale, or what's left of it, and walk into the light that'll appear at midnight."

There was a pause, then: "Walk into the light?" Buffy started to laugh at the cliché. When he realised what he had said, Spike smirked and watched lovingly as her laugh died and a sad smile took over her features.

"So soon? I mean, you only have a few hours?" she asked, trying to be calm. If that was all the time they had, she wasn't going to spend it being angry with him, especially as she couldn't deny that she understood why.

"Guess so."

She looked up at him and saw how much this was hurting him to admit it. To admit that he needed to see what could be. To him it was going against everything that he had ever told her, going against the whispered confessions of love and devotion he had said during their heated affair after her return and every utterance of the word from then on. She cupped his face gently, smiling when he moved into her touch.

"Then I want you to do something," Buffy started, staring deeply into his eyes as she continued: "Make love to me." His eyes widened and he studied her, trying to make sure that she wanted this because she wanted him, and not to try and persuade him to stay. But whatever he was looking for, he obviously found because he leaned in and softly pressed his lips against hers.

Her heart sang that night, finally content that she was able to let Spike love her like he had always wanted. The way he made her feel, she didn't know how she had avoided it in the years before his death, and Spike himself was joyous that the woman he had long sought was willingly in his arms, loving him in return. If he had ever doubted her feelings towards him, it was erased by the tenderness and passion she showed him, and afterwards he smiled at the thought that she had always been more physical than verbal. Her actions proved to him what he had wished for from several years earlier.

She loved him.

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At 11.30pm, they emerged together from the basement, Buffy having already convinced him to let her go with him to the remains of their old hometown.

Dawn was there in the dining room when they emerged, and she immediately questioned what was going on, her suspicion emerging from the resigned look on her sister's face. Buffy was never resigned.

It was Spike who answered. "I have to go, Lil'Bit."

She understood perfectly, and tears came unbidden to her eyes: "Are you coming back?"

He opened his mouth and was about to lie to her, but he found himself unable to. "I don't know."

The younger Summers' girl crossed her arms and stubbornly clenched her jaw to try and stop the flow of tears, knowing that it was no use when she continued to feel fresh tracks being made down her cheeks.

"H-How can you leave?" her voice broke on the last word, and she found herself pulled into his comforting embrace, once again crying into his leather duster and completely unaware of the few tears that weren't hers dropping onto her shoulders.

"It's...just something I have to do, yeah? You know I wouldn't go if I didn't have to, Bit, love you too bloody much," he whispered huskily in her ear, tightening his grip on her.

"More than Buffy?" she asked, the sound muffled by his shoulder.

Spike chuckled slightly: "It's close, luv, definitely close."

The pair broke apart and he placed a kiss on her forehead before looking into her teary eyes. Then he had an idea. Reaching into his pocket, he retrieved his precious lighter that Buffy had returned to him and placed it into Dawn's hand, closing her fingers around it.

"Now, I'm not encouraging anything," he said, "but this is yours, unless I come back and claim it, o'course."

She stared at her closed hand and a small smile graced her lips as she clasped the antique lighter tight and gave a small nod. He tilted her chin up: "I mean what I said, Dawn."

"I know, I love you too," she replied, and with another exchange of smiles, Spike and Buffy were out of the door and into the night.

The stars sparkled and shone, beckoning to those below, the only beacons of light in the otherwise black sky. A couple were standing near the edge of a huge crater, holding each other silently, waiting, when suddenly the stars' brilliance was undermined by a vast, surreal brightness that lit both the crater itself and everything surrounding it.

Spike stared at it, and felt its promise. He turned to the woman in his arms, who was already crying silently, determined to let him make his own choice, even though it was killing her. Slipping the leather duster off his shoulders, he draped it around hers, answering her unasked question: "It's yours, unless I come back to claim it," he whispered, before kissing her passionately, lovingly.

Breaking apart, he was struggling to keep his own tears under control. "I love you," he said, looking deep into her eyes, and with a final chaste kiss he turned away. He had only taken one step away from her when he knew what his decision was.

Spike was glad he had come, glad that he had chosen to see what could have been, because it only made him more sure of his choice. If he hadn't have come, then no matter how happy he was, he would always have been questioning, wondering what would have happened.

But he had come, and he knew. And he had made his choice.

As if sensing this, the light in front of him flickered and dimmed before going out completely, leaving a stark blankness behind it. Behind him, Spike could hear Buffy sobbing – she obviously thought that he had gone, her human eyes unable to pick him out after the disappearance of the light.

Turning, he walked towards his future, and hugged her close murmuring all the time: "God, I'm such a blind idiot, I could never leave you. Never, love you too much. Love you," and so on.

Once she realised what was happening, Buffy's sobs turned into gasps of joy as she clutched to the form in front of her and kissed him passionately, only forcing him away to slap him before pulling him close again and whispering lovingly: "You stupid bastard."

He chuckled, holding her close, apologising over and over for putting them through this. She let him, listening not to the words but to his voice as it rumbled in her ears. To her, there was nothing he needed to apologise for because she understood why he needed to come.

After all, he was only a man.

After a few minutes of apologies, kissing and murmured conversation, Spike finally paused and pulled away from her slightly. "Bollocks," he swore quietly.

"What?"

He looked down at her, the tracks on her cheeks long since dried, the starlight glinting in her wide, beautiful eyes, and smirked.

"Niblet isn't going to give me my lighter back, is she?"

Buffy's laugh echoed to the heavens, and the stars continued to shine their approval on the couple below them.

End
12/3/07 – 25/1/09

Author's Final Note: there you go, Big Bad's Back is officially over. This is so surreal for me! There's a couple things I want to say though. First of all, thank you to everyone who has read this – it's turned out better than I had imagined when I started, so thank you. Second, I know some might be annoyed by how I haven't addressed Robin Wood's storyline properly, and in my defence I want to say that this is a Buffy/Spike story and I didn't want to detract from it too much. However, I am finishing writing a spin off that is solely focused on his emotional state and how he deals with what's happened – it's very angsty, and personally I think it's good, but I'll leave that decision up to you! It'll be the next story I post, so keep an eye out!

Finally, to commemorate the end of an era (for me, at least) please, please review!