Disclaimer: I do not own Strawberry Panic! No matter how much I want to XD

Author's Note: this story takes off after episode 14. Also my first Strawberry Panic FanFic. Also with some revisions based on suggestions. The Grammar I can't help much. It might just be my style of writing I guess. OK?... OK! XD

Strawberry Panic: Yaya's Voice

Prologue: Yaya: The angel wasn't mine.

It's been over a week since Hikari and I made up. Maybe I should say that it's been over a week since she had forgiven me. It was ok at first… but after a few days, I just felt like skipping classes and choir practice. I wasn't in the mood to be there. I still felt very guilty about what I've done to Hikari. She's has never brought it up, but I know things have changed since then…

And something else happened…

Have I been avoiding her? ...

Yeah... I guess have. It's almost a miracle that I have managed to avoid her for this long, seeing that we live in the same room.

It's just that seeing her… is more than enough to make my heart race painfully. Ever since I heard her confess her feelings to Amane-san that night, even though she said it in her sleep… even though she didn't know that she said it… It was painful to hear.

So painful that... I haven't spoken to her in days, in fact… I haven't spoken in days. If someone talked to me, I more or less ignored them. When ordering food, I just pointed. I haven't attended class so that I don't have to see Hikari.

No talking… No singing… No humming… Nothing… until I realized… I couldn't… for some odd reason… I've lost my voice.

I decided to see the nurse about it during class hours, since I was skipping class already. She tells me that she found nothing wrong with my vocal cords; it didn't look swollen or wounded. Hearing that just made me feel bad… or maybe I should say worse. What if it's a new disease or something? Is my luck really that bad now? She then told me that she would try to get a hold of a good doctor in the city for me.

I had to use a piece of paper and pen to ask the nurse not to tell anyone else about it. I didn't want them to worry, especially Hikari. She agreed to keep it confidential, and that she will only discuss it with the doctor hopefully to cure whatever it is that I have. But then she suggested that I would need to tell the teachers and everyone else something more or less believable.

She looked at me for a bit before telling me that she would write a letter for me, at least something to show everyone to explain why I couldn't speak. I found myself smiling at her kind offer and nodded. She then said that I could pick up tomorrow. I thanked her the best way I could before I left the school's infirmary.

I then headed to the school's shop to pick up a new notebook, I would need it for a while and it seemed the logical thing to do. I can't avoid communication forever just because I don't have my voice. Looking back a few years… I regret not learning sign language when I had the chance. But then again, there probably aren't many here that do know how. I then headed back to the dorm room that Hikari and I shared. Classes were still on, so it was no surprise that the room was empty. I decided to take that chance to take a shower.

As the lukewarm water pelted on my body, I could feel goose-bumps rising as the water hit my skin. My long black hair began to stick to me, and ended up slightly tangled when I tried to brush it with my fingers. I began singing... but then no sound came out. I released a quiet sigh, in disappointment. I must have been there for a while; the water was beginning to feel cold on my skin. I then heard a very familiar soft yet high pitched voice along with a loud knock on the bathroom door.

"Yaya-chan! Are you okay?" her voice slowly got louder after each call and she seemed really worried. And why wouldn't she be? I have been avoiding her for days. It won't be easy, but I got to brave it no matter how painful it is to look at her… I'm still her friend and I shouldn't make her worry about me. I had better get out and explain to her... more or less what had happened to me.

I turned off the shower, causing the knocking to stop. But since I wasn't answering or should I say couldn't answer she still called out my name... with the same worried tone. I hurried to get out so I barely managed to dry myself and wore a bathrobe, then placed the towel around my hair. I grabbed hold of the door knob, took a deep breath and told myself. 'I can do this!'

I exited the bathroom, with the best smile I could fake and waved my hand at her slightly. I was greeted at the sight of my roommate, her long blond hair slightly wet of what I would guess to be her sweat. Soft blue eyes, gazed at me with a worried glow.

My heart ached just looking at her, I felt like crying but…

"Yaya-chan? Are you okay? Are you still mad?" She bombarded me with questions I could not answer immediately. I felt flustered and a bit confused. Here I am, facing the one person I had worked so hard to avoid for days… wow…I feel really bad.

She asked question after question not bothering to wait for an answer. I had to place my fingers on her lips to keep her quiet for a moment, which caused her to blush a bit and move away… I guess things really have changed. Sure she did that before too… only she didn't have that scared look in her eyes before.

I moved to my table, where I had place the new notebook I had bought earlier. I wrote 'Welcome back Hikari-chan! How was your day?' on a page, showed it to her and forced myself to smile.

She read what I wrote and looked quite irritated. "Yaya-chan! What's wrong?! Why have you been skipping class and practice?" I could see tears beginning to form in her eyes. "Why have you been avoiding me? You sleep early, you eat early, you skipped class and choir!" She looked angry, but cute and... Strong.

"Why aren't you saying anything?!" She yelled… angrily… a first… and it's my fault.

I could only look at her, saddened, hurt and maybe even scared... and I couldn't explain myself very well, even more so not in this state. But I had to be strong, I can't breakdown. I fought myself to hold back my tears… for Hikari. I opened my mouth, but nothing formed. I could only hold my throat gently and look at her with my slightly watery eyes, hoping she would understand.

She stared at me for a moment; her eyes sad, angry, nervous and ready to leak out tears. I could then see her eyes gaze down at my mouth, then to my hand over my throat. Her eyes widened with worry and apology. "Yaya-chan?!" She cried out worriedly.

I wrote on the notebook again. 'I'm sorry I worried you, Hikari. I seem to have lost my voice. Ha Ha' I smiled and acted like I was laughing but the tears I was fighting to hold back were already falling from my eyes, I know I might have sounded and looked stupid right now… but I didn't want Hikari to worry too much about me. It's supposed to be the other way around.

She began shaking; her eyes fell to the floor... I could see her tears falling, flowing more than mine. I then thought of placing a hand on her shoulder to try to comfort her… but stopped myself… I don't have the right to hold her. But to my surprise Hikari suddenly jumped at me, locking me into a tight embrace, I lost balance and we fell onto my bed. To my disappointment nothing came out when tried to I cry out in surprise. Hikari began crying on my chest, clutching the back of my bathrobe tightly. I felt so helpless... I couldn't even return the hug she was giving me… no matter how much I wanted to… Instead my hands rested lightly on her shoulders, where they coincidentally fell when we landed on my bed. It took a lot of effort to take my hands off her, and wipe my eyes of the sight blurring tears.

In between the crying she began to apologize. "I'm sorry Yaya-chan. I thought you were upset with me." she looked up to my face, eyes still in tears. I picked up the notebook which had fallen nearly beside my head. I wrote: 'It's alright Hikari. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just actually found out myself.' and showed it to her. That sentence felt like such a big lie, literally its true… but that wasn't why I was avoiding her.

She gave me a soft yet sad smile before she rolled to my side ending the hug, I felt disappointed and relieved at the same time… of course I didn't let it show. "So... what happened to your voice?" she asked as she sat up and dried her tears with the sleeves of her uniform slowly recomposing herself. I then wrote about going to the nurse and a lie about having some problem with my throat that they don't have a medication for yet, and that it might be a while before I can get my voice back. "That's sounds awful..." I could see tears daring to fall from her eyes again. I slipped up more or less… it wasn't the truth… but it was close.

'I'll just have to find something else I'm good at! Right?' meaning it about the choir that I cannot be a part of at my state. I forced a smile… I loved singing… I loved singing with Hikari… but now I can't, for other reasons besides not having my voice. I could see her look down at the floor again. I have to say something to change the atmosphere. I scribbled 'For now we'll just have to learn hand signals or else I'll be wasting too much paper! HAHA' I tried to write it as humorous as possible, I just can't stand seeing her sad.

She could only give me a weak smile and a nod. I patted her hand lightly, almost as if to tell her that 'things would work out somehow'. I stood up, deciding to finish getting dry and changing, I was getting cold. I could feel Hikari watching me, not that I minded. I turned to her; she seemed lost in thought for a while... She was still looking at me even after had finished changing. I scribbled down 'Did you enjoy my strip show?' on the note book and showed it to her with a grin on my face. It was an instinctual prank one of many I had played on her to show her cute side. ... Instinct... I have to learn to control that more.

She instantly blushed, very cutely might I add. "YAYA-CHAN!" she pouted, again I must say cutely. "Stop teasing me!" She seemed lightly annoyed. I scribbled down an apology and an excuse about lighting up the mood. She seemed to have bought it for now. I laughed inside… relieved that somehow I can probably keep on living with her without exposing myself. Though the thought of asking for a room change did cross my mind… but that would be equivalent to ending our friendship. And I didn't want that.

"We should tell the teachers about it." She stood up and was ready to pull me out of the room. I wrote something about the nurse preparing a note for me to show the teachers tomorrow. She read it and nodded. She sat on my bed and played with her legs. I sat down as well and just looked around the room. It's so boring not to be able to say anything not to mention awkward. And my not being able to speak seems to make Hikari rather nervous around me. But then again I can think of a lot of reasons why she would be.

Minutes passed and my eyes just happened to wander around the room. I then saw the time and remembered that it was about time for Amane-san's riding practice. I know she's a diligent watcher of her horse-riding, because of her feelings for Amane-san. Or maybe she was really just watching Amane-san. It pained me to even think of telling her about it... But it was also painful seeing her.

I looked at her... and decided: It was what's best for her. I patted her shoulder and pointed at the clock; she remembered and almost ran out of the room instantly yelling "Ah! Amane-sempai!" But as she opened the door, she stopped for a moment and asked "Will you be okay?" she looked at me quite worried again. I wonder if I will regret this… I nodded and smiled, motioning my hand playfully as if to shoo a little bird. She then smiled, said "I'll see you later then." and left, closing the door behind her.

I released a deep silent sigh and dropped on to the bed. Tears came streaming from my eyes which I immediately wiped away and tried to hold the rest back, in case Hikari decided to come and stay with me. Minutes passed and so did my wishful thinking. I decided to go to out; maybe visit the library for a while hoping for something to occupy my time, or maybe just have early dinner and go to bed.

End of Prologue

Author's Note: yeah I had decided to go with the point of view writing for this one. And no I'm no expert at voice related illness or anything… Please Review.

Oh and how can we request a separate link list for Strawberry Panic? I mean if you search the Misc. you'll see quite a few Stories, sometimes even more than other Animes with their own link list. ;;