100 little drabbles about Rick Stetler. I must be losing my mind.

I don't own CSI: Miami. I just borrow it.

1. Cow

The poor animal could've been his pet cow from the farm...

"What is this?"

Morton's Steakhouse was a luxury only the rich people could possibly find in Miami, Florida. It was known for its rather large steaks and other cuisine that no one could possibly imagine. Everyone loved it that went there. Of course, it was for a rather hefty price- around fifty bucks a person. No wonder famous people went there.

So why wasn't IAB agent Rick Stetler considered famous?

The waiter walked over to him and smiled politely, as if he had mistaken what he had just heard. "Excuse me, sir?"

Stetler pointed to his plate of food. "What is this?"

"It's what you ordered," he replied. "A large, eighteen ounce steak with parley, garnished with a cream of garlic sauce, seared to perfection. I can request some olive oil for you if you would prefer it." Clearly, he read this off the top of his head, after speaking this to so many customers at one time.

The IAB sergeant cocked his head. "Do you know what steak is, sir?"

The waiter looked flustered. "Well, uh, it's cow."

"Yes. Exactly. COW!" he yelled, causing heads to turn in his direction. "COW! I'm a vegetarian! Why didn't I get the salad I ordered? I specifically asked for a Caesar salad with no meat bits, nothing that resolved around a cow!"

Clearly, the man was nervous at this outbreak of yelling by his customer. "I'm terribly sorry, but I believe you asked for…"

"You believe," he cut in. "YOU BELIEVE! There is a distinct difference between getting the supposed correct order and the ACTUAL correct order! Did you not listen to my voice when I specified that I wanted…"

"That's enough, Rick," a voice growled from behind him.

Horatio Caine stood behind him, standing in his usual sideways posture, studying the IAB agent rather intently. "You're a vegetarian?"

He groaned. Not him. "Yes. Yes, I am."

"Then you might want to leave and go to a place with vegetarian food."

He laughed. "Oh, please, Horatio. What else do you know?"

"That you don't like cow. Or burgers, or steak, or anything with meat now."

"I HATE COW FOR A REASON!" Rick yelled at a calm Horatio, who choose to ignore the hisses of whispering. "I lived on a farm half my life, watched my cow Misty die because we had nothing to eat over the winter, and I couldn't eat her body! It was too saddening! How could I eat my pet? I couldn't!"

"And that is why you hate cow," Horatio stated, just to be sure.

"Did you not hear a word I just said?!"

He shrugged and left the room. "Depends. I could have blown an eardrum with your yelling."

The waiter looked at him timidly. "Um, sir?"

Rick snapped him a glare. "Where's my salad?"

Heh. Reviews are appreciated. Thanks for reading!