Chapter Twelve: Alice in Wonderland

Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I loved every single one of themSOOO much. You guys made me so frighteningly happy, I very nearly started crying. This time the dedications goes out to every single one of you, because you are just so effing awesome that there are no words for your greatness! Dedi: emuhleeishazn, Grey Pezzola, hxc muffin, heya-gurl, whitetiger-isabella, inuyashagrl27, iNuQTpIe, Loyalflame, Eyeliner-Vampire, Arrynnand sesshomaru121. Special triple love goes to: Willingly Catatonic, xXKimiko SakakiXx, Painted Canvas, TearStainedLife, LoVe23, inuyashaluvskagome909, theruthlesscow and phlawere! You guys are truly amazing people.

Anyways, Sango and Miroku finally have their moment in this chapter, and I must say I think it turns out quite satisfactory. I was a little nervous about how it might work out, but, I'm pretty happy with it this time. Ah, Miroku, Miroku, Miroku... what do we do with you? XD. And, by the way, Kuranosuke is that one wierd bloke who had a crush on Sango Episode-70-something-ish, right? Totally never saw that episode, I'm pretty sure.-lol.

Oh, and explanations. Um, yeah. So Kagome is now wearinga fake Shikon no Tama to fool Inuyasha, and she's also wearing a charm that makes her tone-deaf. Hahah, j/k. She can't talk and like Inuyasha's beads in the show, she can't take it off. So. Hmm. Yes. Except the whole her-not-talking-at-all thing is kinda hard to work with so, I'm gonna have to do something about that pretty soon. -sighs-

Oh, and Kikyou's gonna be such a bitch. I hate her. Urgh. It was so much fun to write.

Alright! Now for the much awaited HUMP! Award ceremony...! -Happy Days theme song plays-

Since there werea fewpeople that I really wanted to give this to, I suppose it'll have to be a dual thing, 'cause I really couldn't decide... DuN DUUUN dUUUUUUn.

Congratulations to inuyashaluvskagome909 with her scrumptious review and Painted Canvas! lol. You get the prestigious HUMP! Award and a 3 coupon to Dairy Queen. XDDDD. Hahaha.

Enjoy. I love you guys all far too much to be healthy.

The moment they locked eyes, she could feel her heartbeat synchronize to match his, the strange rhythm of their double pulse all the room could hold. The moment they locked eyes, it was all over. One look and Inuyasha was destroying her

What if he already knew her terrible secret? Kagome could easily paint the accusation into his eyes, her imagination capturing the mix of denial and anger shadowing the gold of his gaze. There would be a complex range of emotion, but a specific order to their feeling; accusation, revulsion, distrust and finally the kindness of a gently worded persecution in which he would compassionately state his reasons for not wanting her anymore. The imploring sadness of the words, "you understand."

What if he already knew?

Kagome dropped her gaze to the floor and slid into her seat, resigning herself to the torture of the next hour, with him so beautiful and so close, but never hers to love again.

Inuyasha tried so hard to puzzle out the hurt in her eyes. He didn't understand. All of a sudden, there was this inexplicable difference in her that wreaked a sharp contrast with her old self. Her vibrant personality charred into the gray ashes of its mysterious cremation. Her one look nearly brought him to his knees; the ideal position for some top-notch groveling perhaps, but… the slight tremor of her shoulders as she sat two seats in front of him… he didn't think a comical public rendering of his love could help that.

He didn't understand. What was it that was killing the both of them so patiently through their connected heartbeats? He twirled his pencil in between his fingers irritably. Inuyasha glanced around the classroom for some sort of a cosmic loophole that could enter into him this obscure knowledge. Inuyasha's gaze moved to the window and its smug showing of a disturbing blue sky, his eyes wandered, two students dozing during lecture, Miroku's eraser on the floor. Then he caught Sango's look, and in that one moment, each informed the other that they knew something was completely off with Kagome, and a brief mental competition ensued over which of them worried the more.

Kagome could feel his inquiring thoughts wandering around her, each towing along its own wisp of anxiety. The vocal ripples of the bell dispersed them though, as the bell rang signaling the end of the period. She fled the classroom, pretending to herself that she needed to use her locker. She had no idea where her locker was anymore. Stumbling through the hallway full of faces and dreams, today's gossip and tomorrow's tests, she couldn't breathe; the laughter was suffocating her.

Ducking into an empty stairwell, she huddled against the wall, unable to imagine her inescapable hours, days, weeks and months. Terror clambered noisily with the slow ticks of the clock. Each tick counting off another dusty piece of evidence that she was a soiled existence. She couldn't see past her fear of everyone she'd ever loved. Because to her, they were everything, and soon…

Well, it was too late for that – she was already nothing.

"Kagome?" He looked at the girl hiding her broken heart and damaged soul in a deserted staircase. Her name wasn't uttered as a question, it was a plea.

She glanced up, startled, and found Inuyasha on both knees in front of her, one hand resting gently on each of her shoulders. He was so close. He watched her in all his godless beauty, pained confusion darkening his beautiful golden gaze. His presence, his touch, his nearness, his unforgivable amber eyes… Her self-control flickered and died like deciduous leaves blushing away in bloody tatters on an autumn tree. Unspeakable tears began falling into her lap, the soft patter of her quiet grief darkening her jeans.

Inuyasha could feel her pain transcend its mortal confines to lacerate him, piercing him through to the lifewater beneath his skin. He hurt inside with almost twice what Kagome felt… once for him and once for her… and double for what they had once been.

A strange feeling sheathed itself deep in Kagome's chest, like when earth meets sky and soul meets body, somehow her overwhelming chaos of mind blurred with peace. Her shoulders shook slightly with her repressed sobs as her pride sought to bribe her with stronger resolve to stop crying. Helplessly, the tears continued to darken the stitches of her jeans in mordant blots, patterning it with salt and stained despair. She couldn't do this – be so near him. She couldn't… Kagome felt his pressure on her shoulder tighten, and hesitantly she let her eyes trace up towards his face.

In one familiar movement, Inuyasha had her pressed against him, his arms surrounding her in a fierce embrace - but not before she felt the trembling that he quieted against her, and saw the face he tried to hide.

Inuyasha was crying.

Blinking against his shoulder, Kagome tasted the strange ineptitude of incomprehension. The tangled snarls of memory caught her the brief glimpse of Inuyasha's face before he'd shied away, looking down in self-conscious embarrassment. But the damp line bruising his cheek was clear and unmistakable, her pain his.

She pushed him away. Hard. Paying her in double the amount of hurt in his eyes.

I'm sorry, Inuyasha.

She couldn't even say those words to him.

Inuyasha just stood there, his bangs shadowing his eyes, motionless.

Kagome looked at the boy who was her sun, whom she had destroyed in favor of being nocturnal for the rest of her life without his forgiveness.

She turned to leave. Perhaps she could depart to another solar system and journey to an unnamed planet with an erased memory. Tears blurred her stumbling steps.

"No."

That one word spoken soft and vulnerable snapped through the air like a whip.

Inuyasha pushed her against the wall, not realizing the force beneath his action. Kagome cried out soundlessly at the jarring impact, but it barely registered in his turmoil of thoughts. A desperation gripped him as he pressed his hands against the wall on either side of Kagome's head, but his eyes were lowered, as if he dared not look up to face her for her answer.

Kagome tried to escape his siege, but Inuyasha's hands moved down to clutch her shoulders too tightly, pinning her to the red brickwork behind them. He tried, he really did. He tried so hard, unsure and unable to find the proper words. To find the proper magic syllables with which he could speak up and change the world. The utter confusion tried to melt him into nothingness, to be no more in this place where he was unwanted, trying to bring him to an insane promised land where he was.

Inuyasha fought this vague terror, frenzied; his grip on Kagome's shoulders intensified agonizingly.

With the jolt of pain Inuyasha crushed into her shoulder, Bankotsu flooded back in her mind's eye.

Finally, the incomprehensible words winged mouthward from his mind.

"What did I do, Kagome? What happened?" To you, to me. " Why are you punishing me like this? What is happening?" The low rumble of his voice gave way to fevered shouts, the letters gaining strength in union. He hated how plaintive he sounded.

Kagome didn't hear any of the words he had said, his face had long since warped to match Bankotsu's and her old interminable fear came gushing back, a froth of dark water that threatened to pull her under and saturate her mind with unwanted thoughts.

She clawed frantically at him, Bankotsu's leer scowling from Inuyasha's face. Her reason began waning like a suffering light bulb, and suddenly… it died.

The sky outside darkened and she was back at the empty construction site.

Fresh terror convulsed in jagged spirals inside her. She fought harder. Maybe if she could fight him off this time, none of it would have ever happened. She fought harder.

Inuyasha felt like he was outside himself. The more she tried to shove him away, the closer he brought himself to her, trying to force her to understand that whatever he had done, he was sorry. He pushed her up against the wall so hard, it must have bruised. He couldn't stop himself. He couldn't understand.

Suddenly, a ferocious anger bladed into him, as Sango slotted herself between him and Kagome. Her incredulous glare stilled his unreasonable desperation, blaming him back a step. Her eyes cut deep into him, leaving him to drown in the ichor of his own guilt. Then the appalling realization came…

What had he just done?

Sango turned around to comfort Kagome, allowing the other girl to sob quietly against her shoulder. Sango put her arms around her best friend, stroking her back soothingly. Casting one last disgusted look at Inuyasha, Sango began gently leading Kagome away.

The words were spoken so quietly, that perhaps they were only as thoughts to herself, but Inuyasha caught Sango's last words.

"Inuyasha Ishikawa… I'm ashamed of you."

Kagome lay against the stiff incline of the adjustable bed in the nurse's office. She was too confused and shaken to muse. Sango had wanted to stay, but the nurse had sent her away, the only thing bequeathed upon crying girls was an irritated roll of the eyes. Crying to get out of class did not deserve excessive sympathy. The nurse's private thoughts mangled Kagome's character, but the girl neither noticed nor cared.

Kagome lay unseeing and unfeeling, time completely ignoring her.

"Excuse me, ma'am. I'm a friend of Kagome's. I heard she was ill. May I come in?" A melodic voice inquired after the nurse, who was inevitably charmed by the rare politeness.

"Kikyou, was it? Of course. I'll leave you two to talk privately then. You wouldn't want an old lady to intrude upon your conversations," The nurse laughed, waiting expectantly for protest against her 'old lady' comment. She waited to be awarded with a nice, "Not at all, you are much too young to even know what the term old means. You cannot be over 30." In actuality, the nurse was nearing her late 50s. Hearing nothing in response to her fantasies, she sighed and left.

Kikyou waited until the nurse's footsteps had receded before turning and stepping towards Kagome.

"How are you feeling, Higurashi?" Kagome didn't answer, puzzling out the other girl's presence, unwonted and fey. "I don't know if you've already heard, and… I wonder if you don't already know, but…" Kikyou chuckled, "I wanted you to hear this from no one else but me." Not for the noble reasons she imagined, but for the hateful ones she felt. She anticipated Kagome Higurashi's reaction. She delighted in the resolution of her morbid curiosity. "Well… thing is… Inuyasha and I are kinda an… item," a smug inflection fingered the word. Kagome flinched. "Inuyasha wanted to tell you, but didn't know how, I suppose." Kikyou continued, plowing onward, "The other night when he came back with me to my apartment… and when we'd had sex… and when he'd said he'd loved me…" Kikyou paused delicately, letting her delicious news sink in. So she was stretching it a little, Inuyasha having neither said the words nor loved her. Having neither betrayed Kagome nor consummated the lie. But no matter. "Inuyasha doesn't want you anymore, Kagome. He and I have a bond, and what we share is special. I suppose you wouldn't understand, would you?" Kikyou's pitying laugh echoed dully in the nurse's office, "What you and Inuyasha had was fake. What I have with him is so much more," and Kikyou believed every word of it too. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to play such a pathetic role in our love story."

A small private satisfied smile graced Kikyou's lips as she turned and walked away, her mission complete. Naraku had said to hit Kagome, and hit her hard. She did, and the girl would never get back up.

Inuyasha stood on the other side of the door, stumbling backwards at Kikyou's approach on the other side. He was numb, stunned at every single word that Kikyou had delivered, the clean lines of her conviction pierced so deep. The ground fluctuated in angle and pattern, his every step felt unstable, the hallways rocking and shifting in disbelief. He had to hide, before he was seen. He had to digest what all of this meant. He couldn't believe what he'd done. He groped against the janitor's closet, lurching inside, leaving the hallway just as Kikyou entered it.

He stood against the unsympathetic wall in the darkness of mops and buckets and sponges and bottles of disinfectant. No wonder Kagome was so mad at him. What had he done? It was starting to come back to him, that night… Kikyou, mouth to mouth, hand to hand, tangled bedsheets and liquor and drugs. Bare skin, his or hers? Parts of it were blank, no memories evoked, impossibly forgotten. He remembered too much and too little, brief snatches all his mind afforded him. Nails painted red, clawing at his chest… he couldn't breath…

And suddenly, a phone number came back to him, inscribed on yellow lined paper, crinkled at the edges…

253-895… 7321.

Amid the integral figures, he wondered… What have I done?

Sango slid into her customary seat in the cafeteria, four empty chairs beside her, an empty table in front of her. Eri, Yuka and Ayumi were at an extended drama rehearsal, Kagome was recuperating at the nurse's. She was famished, the waft of lunch scouring her senses with a rough-edged hunger, but with no money in her lunch account and no friends around to harass for financial assistance, all she could do was fantasize and wait for the god-forsaken hour to be over.

She sighed, pulled out a book and waited.

"Hey, Sango, baby, mind if I sit down?" A male voice flaunting a twangy tenor, sounded in her ear. Without waiting for her consent, Kuranosuke slipped into the seat beside her. He didn't truly need her permission. "Remember my offer, babe? It still stands, you know."

"No. And I know. Sadly," Sango growled in chipped tones.

"I might ditch you for someone else if you keep refusing me." A threat? No. She didn't feel enough for those words to be a threat. It was funny though.

He put his arm around her comfortably, impervious to everything but his voice. Damn, he had a fine voice, he thought to himself. Why didn't Sango like it as much as he did? Strange thought that she didn't feel as he dictated. All the other girls did. There was nothing special about her, not really.

"Get off of me, please," Sango said sweetly, shrugging him off and trying to hide her irritation. This was the fifth week in the row that he'd pestered her. She really should try and be polite, she thought mournfully. The concept was as repulsive as his unreceptive sense of reason. Sango took a deep breath and struggled to be gracious.

Miroku carried two trays, balancing the weight of both easily on the flat terrace of either palm. He'd seen Sango plop into her usual seat, looking weary and depressed, glancing longingly at the lunch line. He'd guessed. Her table was empty, an unusual occurrence - for he'd never seen her without friends - but one that he could potentially benefit from. He sidled closer, considering every doubtful method of starting up a conversation, struggling for the right one.

This girl somehow seemed to throw him off. He didn't know why. Didn't understand why he'd wanted to talk to her, to smile at her since the first time he met her. He was normally very smooth with the ladies. Now, he seemed reduced to a sopping mess of pick-up lines, the only things that would come to mind.

It was the most peculiar feeling.

Miroku saw Kuranosuke from their class drop down into the seat beside Sango in a splash of arrogance. A minute worry stirred in his chest. He caught threads of conversation between the two as he neared.

"… I mean this in the nicest way possible… but you are the most abhorrent human being I have ever met…"

"… You're just saying that because I'm too good for you…"

Hah, Miroku thought under his breath.

"Please just go away, and leave me alone." Sango's voice was adamant, she sounded tired.

"… Oh, but you look so much like my next girlfriend…"

The man didn't know how to stop.

Miroku shook his head, stepped up his game, and put a stop to it.

"Sango, honey, how was your day? Tired?" Miroku slid the trays of food he'd bought in front of her. He leaned in for a quick peck on the mouth, and surprised, she let his lips touch hers.

Sango Rayu-mi tasted like sunshine.

Kuranosuke sat where he was, shocked, as Miroku completely disregarded him and prompted Sango to eat. As if unexpectedly noticing him, Miroku turned, looking pleasantly surprised at the company. Man, he should have taken drama. "Oh? Who are you? Sango's friend, I presume? Miroku Hamakura, Sango's boyfriend. Pleased to meet you," He extended his hand in greeting, but his eyes were laced with an unmistakable challenge, tolerant, but dangerous.

Sango, sputtering, recovered a measure of her composure and said evenly, "Kuranosuke, I'm sorry, but – ahem – as I was trying to say… I'm already, uh, taken."

Baffled, embarrassed and caught completely off-guard, Kuranosuke shuffled away without another word.

A few minutes passed, during which Sango struggled to find the proper questions to ask him. He'd sat down and saved her with careless grace and ease, and now, while she was searching, frustrated, for the right words, Miroku watched her and gave her time, enjoying her confusion. He poked a fork of spaghetti to her mouth, and unthinking, she ate it, still fuming and not noticing her own response, so natural that it didn't register in her consciousness.

"Thank you," she finally permitted, a grudging credit bestowed upon him. It was only then that she realized she had spaghetti in her mouth. Slowly, the appalling recognition of the fact that she might have actually let a guy feed her sank in.

Horrified, she glared at him.

"Now may I ask what you did all of that," she waved her arms to emphasize that, "for?" She could feel the blush prickling her cheeks as the extent of what had just transpired hit her.

"Kuranosuke's an ass. You looked like you could use the help."

She looked at him untrustingly. That seemed like such a satisfactory answer. She wanted to find a reason not to like him.

"And you looked hungry," Miroku shrugged.

Untroubled, he offered her another bite of pasta. In affable defeat, she relented, catching the noodles in her mouth. Somehow she couldn't help but smile.

Good god, it was too late for her.

The brief kiss lingered on her lips, tainted with tomato sauce, but she could still recall the distinct sensation.

Miroku Hamakura tasted like moonlight.

He smiled at her, and knew, in that one moment, that she was the one.

And somehow, in a vice-versa trajectory of thought, she knew too.

Inuyasha dialed the number with steady fingers; each tone in the pressed buttons intensified the dread in his stomach.

253…

These poisonous digits were the key. He was scared for what he might hear, but he had to know. This phone number held something. He took a deep breath.

895…

What had he done? What had Kikyou done?

What had they done?

7321.

The last number rolled off his fingertips.

The mechanical recorded voice of Naraku sounded in the earpiece, addressing his believed audience, "March 18, 2008. Agenda. Kikyou: To Ryukuo High. Assert "situation" to code:Alice. Delay all rehabilitation for as long as possible. Strike her the death blow. Bankotsu: Clean up at the 342nd Street construction site. You were sloppy. The code:Mad Hatter knows, but the current situation dictates that the code:Chesire Cat may still be in the dark. Code:Alice still mute, impressive charmwork, Bankotsu. Shikon no Tama obtained. End agenda. End report." A synthetic female voice activated, inquiring, "Scroll through previous messages? Press one. Delete agenda:0017048729? Press two. Leave a memo? Press three. Mark as urgent, cipher 01, 07? Press respectively 4 and/or 5. Press 6 to terminate session."

He knew who Alice was, and judging by the phrasing, he was the Cheshire Cat.

Inuyasha punched 6 and the phone line went dead.

He slowed to a nervous halt in front of the 342nd Street construction site. Inuyasha had dodged out of Ryukuo and ran here. It was abandoned for a noontime break, the workers straggling idly off to lunch, cigarettes caught between flexed fingers, knobby knuckles rough, palms calloused. Nicotine trailed auspiciously around them, like a good luck charm. It was what kept them sane.

Inuyasha stepped within the shadows of the metal framework's carcass, venturing closer and closer to the truth. Bankotsu had done something here. Something to do with Alice. Kagome.

And when he found her clothes strewn on the ground, smelling of her, her terror and his name…

Oh, god.

It was a curious feeling. Shock, pain, madness, worry, frustration, disbelief, sadness, fury all churned in one ache in his chest.

He had never tasted anger like this. The Cheshire Cat knew and vowed to destroy Wonderland in Alice's name. Destroy this crazy place and return her from this dream. He would kill the Queen of Hearts; Bankotsu had painted all his white roses red. Inuyasha would kill him and return the weeping claret rose to white purity. Wonderland would be extinguished in Bankotsu's blood.

Press 6 to terminate session.

Thrice-three and always. 6 and 6 and 6..

Hahaha. I hope everybody got my Alice in Wonderland analogies. I was getting pretty creative right there, and I haven't seen the movie in years, so I have a feeling I may have started making up characters halfway through. Dunno. Actually, to be truthful, I don't really like that movie; I mean, drugs, anyone? XDDD. Just kidding. Everything Disney is wholesome and good.

Much obliged for your time, peeps! Now for our long-awaited PARODY!

Kuranosuke: "I'm too sexy for my shirt...too sexy for my socks.. too sexy for my Dora the Explorer underwear... too sexy for my bandaid- SHIT THAT HURT..!"