In Loving Memory Of:

Kantsubaki no yami, who passed away Friday morning on 3/9/07, when she was fifteen years old. The love she had and the thirst to give happiness to everyone around her will live in our hearts forever. We all miss her, but we will continue on.

Because that's what she would (DOES) want.

Rest in peace, my love.

Memorial One Shot

Life on a Deathbed

No one expected it.

He was powerful. He was strong – he was everything that WASN'T weak.

But there he was. Lying on his deathbed four months after he had been struck with a devastating disease that was making him deteriorate from the inside out.

He couldn't even make his own heart beat anymore.

This was how Naruto found him. This was what Naruto came home to after a four-month-long mission – to find the only person he ever allowed himself to love resting in a white hospital bed, a device wrapped around his chest that sent electrical shocks through his body to his heart – forcing his heart to beat.

Forcing him to stay alive.

All of the best medical ninja the village could provide said there was no way he could survive. Even with the shocks – the life-support machine – the medicine – his heart would eventually give out on its own. He was expected to die any day now – it was just a matter of waiting and seeing.

And no amount of praying or money or shocks or hope could change that.

His eyes were closed when Naruto entered. They were open now.

His voice was ragged and weak, but it was STILL the voice Naruto remembered – the voice he loved.

"Hey Naruto," he breathed weakly. "Not what you expected to come back to, huh?"

Naruto fought down tears and went to the other's side, sitting down next to him and reaching down, grasping his lover's weak, frail hand in his.

"No," he breathed. "It wasn't. How did this happen?"

"No one is sure," the other replied after a moment. "They think it's something in my blood – something that runs in my family – but no one has any records of it."

"So…" Naruto couldn't talk – couldn't breathe. "There's no cure."

It wasn't a question – wasn't an attempt at grasping what feeble hope was left.

They both knew the answer anyway.

"No…" the other replied. He weakly raised the hand holding Naruto's, and kissed the tanned knuckles. "Forgive me, Naruto. No matter how strong I was – I couldn't protect my own body. I'm sorry."

Naruto closed his eyes as he felt them become wet.

"It wasn't your fault," he replied, his voice hoarse and throat dry. "It was never your fault. You tried your best."

The other looked up at him, his black eyes sparkling sadly with a small smile on his face.

"This is what's best. God wanted this."

Naruto's eyes turned dark and he looked away.

"God…" he muttered bitterly. "What god? If there was a god, He would NEVER allow this to happen!"

"Don't say that, Naruto."

The hurt in the other's voice made Naruto's eyes go wide, and he pulled up the other's hand again, kissing it over and over in apology. The other's grip tightened slightly in response.

"People die, Naruto. That's just the way life is. It's a cycle. In order for there to be life, there has to be death. In order for there to be good, there must be evil. There's no way around it."

"But why?" Naruto choked out. "Why does it have to be YOU?"

"Why doesn't it have to be me?"

Naruto's eyes widened.

"I'm sure He has a reason, Naruto. A reason neither you nor I could comprehend – but a reason nonetheless. Have faith, Naruto."

"Faith?" Naruto snapped. "How can I have faith? He made me grow up alone! He made the village hate me! He made me the Kyuubi vessel! He GAVE you this disease! He's making you DIE!"

"He made you meet Iruka. He made you meet me. He made you meet Sakura. He made you meet Kakashi. He made you meet Gaara. He made you determined. He made you grow stronger. He made you get a purpose. He made us fall in love."

Naruto – once again – was caught silent by the other's soft words. He inclined his head.

The other's remaining hand slowly reached up, brushing against Naruto's cheek.

"Naru-baby… look at me."

The blonde couldn't deny that soft command – he looked up.

Weak fingers played across his face as he leaned down over the edge of the bed to make it easier for the other.

The other had a smile on his face.

"God is smiling down upon you, Naruto. Whether you see or not, He is. He's given you things that – years ago – you thought you would never have. But now look at you…" The smile turned into a proud one as he studied Naruto's face. "You're full of life – you're exploding with it. You have friends. You have people who care about you – you have people who would not only die for you, but live for you as well."

Tears were leaking out of Naruto's eyes now. He took the other's hand and raised it, kissing the palm and wrist lovingly.

"I would give it all away to find a way to save you."

"No you wouldn't."

Naruto's eyes shot to the other, who was looking up at him, his eyes shining knowingly.

"You would never sacrifice another person to save me. You would sacrifice yourself – without question – but never another. You know that. Your heart is too big for that."

Naruto shut his eyes and twisted his head away, the tears falling freely now.

"This just isn't fair…" he muttered. "You shouldn't have to die."

"We all die, Naruto," came the other's soft reply. "That is how we're capable of having glorious life. Naru-baby…" he raised his hands again and touched the blonde's cheeks. Naruto looked up at him. "Naruto – don't cry. I might be leaving you, but I won't be gone – not really."

"What're you talking about?" Naruto hissed. "How can you be gone but still here? It doesn't make any sense!"

"Death… is an awful misconception Naruto." When Naruto cocked his head at the other, he continued. "People don't die. When they DO pass away, their body dies – yes – but their soul stays alive. The soul is who they are, Naruto. My soul is the thing you fell in love with – the thing that you would die to protect. Souls never die. Therefore the person never dies."

Naruto stared at him. Then he leaned forward and buried his face in the other's neck, gripping the warm, weak fingers in his own.

"I'll still never see you again," he murmured.

"But I'll always be here."

Frail arms reached up to wrap around Naruto's neck. Delicate fingers ran through unruly blonde strands.

"You might not see me Naruto – you might not hear me or sense me – but I'll always be here with you. Watching over you, protecting you, guiding you – living through you. When my soul passes on, I'll still live through you, because you have my memory in your heart. So you see Naruto?"

The other tilted Naruto's chin to make the blonde look directly in his eyes.

"Since I am living through you, I never truly die."

Naruto's eyes widened.

"Sa–"

Lips – soft and loving – cut him off, telling him so many mindless comforts and promising so many things that might have been.

"When you become Hokage, Naruto – I will be there with you." The other smiled up at him. "I will ALWAYS be there with you, smiling down at you. Remember that."

Swallowing, Naruto nodded. The other tilted his head slightly.

"Promise?" He asked.

Smiling sadly, Naruto nodded.

"Yes – I promise. I promise with all my heart."

The other nodded gently.

"Good. Naruto – can you do one last favor for me?"

Naruto didn't blink.

"Anything!"

"Will you live… for me? Even when I die?"

Naruto's eyes widened. Then they narrowed and more tears flowed. Crystal droplets fell on the other's face.

"Yes," he choked out, kissing the other beneath him repeatedly. "Yes – I will – I'll live for you – only you."

"Will you move on?"

Naruto's eyes widened again, and he pulled back to look at the other.

"What?" He breathed. "Move on?"

The other below him nodded.

"Yes – move on. Find another –"

"NO!" Naruto exclaimed, shaking his head vigorously. "I can't! I love no one else! I can't love any one else! Sas–!"

"You have over fifty years ahead of you, Naruto!" The other cut him off. "I understand how you feel – but you MUST move on. It's the only way you could ever truly heal. Save a spot for me in your heart – a spot reserved just for my memory – but let another share the heart that I enjoyed so much." The other was crying now too as he nuzzled Naruto's throat. "You've made me so happy Naruto – you really have. You gave me a reason for life – a reason to looking forward to the next day instead of death – you made me truly happy to be alive! And now…" He kissed Naruto's tear-stained cheeks lovingly. "Even on my deathbed – you've made me happy. I can die happy. You can give this kind of happiness to another person, you know – another person that needed it as much as me. I can die without regrets now – all because of you. You made it possible."

Naruto couldn't stop the heart-wrenching sobs that wracked his frame.

"I can't!" He exclaimed into the other's shoulder. "I just can't! There's no one else like you!"

"There's no one else like you, either." Naruto raised his head to look at the other's face. "And that's why…" the other smiled at him. "You have to move on. Not letting someone into your life will only bring you more misery – to both you and the ones around you. I don't want that for you."

"But…" Naruto sniffed. "It would be so hard…"

"It will be – I know. But try. For me."

Naruto clutched the body underneath him.

"Okay!" He exclaimed. "I'll try! I swear! For you – I'll do anything!"

The other had silent tears falling down his face as well, and he lifted up Naruto's face, kissing away the tears before pressing his lips against Naruto's one last time.

"I love you, Naruto."

And don't forget…

The hands cupping Naruto's head turned limp and fell away. Naruto caught them, holding them to his face as the body underneath him stilled and the heart meter went dead.

I live through you.

"I love you too…"

"Sasuke…"

End Memorial – Life on a Deathbed

Kantsubaki no yami asked me to write this fanfic before she died.

I can only hope she can see it from where she is.

After all, she's so far up in the sky.

I hold you close to my heart, love – always.

Everyone else, I hope you enjoyed this as well, as sad as it was.

But hopefully, you were enlightened about death.

For I believe in everything Sasuke spoke about in this story.

About death, about souls, about God – everything.

Perhaps you found a reason to believe to.

Please live everyone. Live like you'll never get another chance.

Because you won't.

Ja.

DancingDragonBlaze

Completed: 1:06 a.m. Saturday 3/10/07

Words: 1,711

Pages: Six