A/N: I don't own Naruto. I enjoy making stories with the characters!
Thanks to all who reviewed and sorry for taking my time with this chapter but I had to come up with a workable plot for future chapters…so here it is!
To be or not to be…Perverted
Chapter Three: The beast, the copy cat and the ultra pervert, part 1
"Castration time, my little pervert!"
Naruto shot up from bed in a cold sweat and his breathing haggard. One look around the room confirmed that he was in Sora-sense's quarters (or his private chambers) and…
He tore away the covers and inspected his privates.
It's still attached! Thank Kami!
He flopped back onto the covers and noticed a note under a bowl of cold ramen on the night table.
Naruto,
By the time you read this I should be taking the one eyed lesser pervert and supper-fuzzy brows to the cleaners and you passed the test of ascension to novice pervert.
Your orders:
Eat the ramen
And head on over to Kakashi's pad
P.S.
The scary ANBU person who made you piss your pants was me and bring my new 'Icha Icha Paradise X: Lovers Eternal' with you if it has arrived. Thanks! Mwah!
Sora-sensei
Naruto had a huge droplet of sweat form behind his head.
That jerk…he almost gave me a heart attack and…If anyone sees me with that book…
He grabbed the bowl of cold ramen, emptied its contents, grabbed his sensei's book which was still in its paper packaging (Oh thank kami!) and rushed out the door with so much killer intent that he scared the other tenants of the aparment building as he passed.
Should I use Shunshin? The thought of using the ultimate escape technique was tempting but the idea was immediately dismissed.
I'll never hear the end of it from bastard sensei
Naruto cringed at the thought of being subjected to another one of his sensei's 'sermons'. (a.k.a: a very graphic birds and the bee's tale)
I maybe a novice pervert…but the level perversion of his stories…it's almost madness
People do sometimes mistake pure genius for madness but Naruto is not like most people and Sora was only a genius in the art of peeping on women, second only to Jiraiya of course.
The whirlwind of thoughts in the young blonds mind caused him to phase out for a moment, which was no problem since he could jump roof tops without even having to think much of it. (Thanks to his training of 'Perverted Ninja art number one: Evade and Escape')
Crack!
That moment was all it took for him to slip on a loose roof tile and start an abrupt ten foot freefall.
BAAANNNZZZAAAIII!!
Apparently this wasn't the first time Naruto had experienced this life or death situation. ('Pervert Ninja Art number two: Extreme Endurance, which was accomplished with Sora's repeated throwing of Naruto off ridiculously high places like ravines, cliffs and tall buildings)
Falling face first into solid earth was the norm for a pervert. Being repeatedly flung out of windows would discourage any lesser pervert. Naruto however was the apprentice of the BIGGEST pervert currently residing in Konoha. So it's just a matter of closing your eyes, apply a thick layer chakra to your facial area and BAM!
So hitting the dirt wasn't such a big thing…If you actually 'hit' the dirt.
OOF!
At three feet from ground zero, Naruto impacted with something soft which successfully broke his fall.
Wow…I must have landed on a pillow cart, LUCKY!!
And Naruto, being Naruto, rubbed his face into whatever saved him.
A winded "eep!" and 'thunk' brought his attention back to the real world.
Opening his eyes, he blinked away the blurriness and focused his sight on his 'cushion' and was mentally decked.
He had buried his face in the developing cleavage of one 'Heiress to the most respected and feared clan of all Konoha' Hyuuga Hinata…a very red and very unconscious Hyuuga Hinata.
Oh…my…kami-sama…
Perverted realizations aside, the Hyuuga Heiress, being of VIP status because of her clans' reputation, was always followed by a Hyuuga body guard.
Well then I won't have to worry about leaving her here…
Naruto's decision shattered however when his 'beloved' sensei's voice rang once more in his head.
"The Hyuuga are not only feared because they posses the 'Byakugan' and can see and close tenketsu points…but because if they hit the right points between your groin and your spine…well let's just say that you will never be the same man again"
Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose, a habit he picked up from old man Sarutobi.
"And leaving such a fine, although a bit young, female specimen without proper 'sight seeing and grop- ACK!!"
A vein throbbed on Naruto's forehead as he strangled his imaginary sensei until he puffed out of existence.
"DAMN IT!!" cursed the blond in exasperation.
He lifted Hinata onto his back and activated his Shunshin no jutsu (Flash step technique) and hauled ass toward his preset destination.
xXx
"Hehehe, looks like I win again…Gai-san drop the leotards" the sinister voice of Daichi Sora cackled as he collected the winnings: a pair of green leotards and blue pants.
"You know Sora, I begin to wonder why I even bother trying to win at strip poker," the famous copy-cat ninja Hatake Kakashi sighed. "Poor Gai will never be able to run all two-thousand laps around Konoha"
Then a very youthful voice cried out.
"RIVAL KAKASHI! DO NOT FRET FOR THE FIRES OF YOUTH SHALL NEVER BURN OUT FROM THE FIERY FURNACE WHICH IS MY YOUTHFUL SOUL!" Maito Gai exclaimed with a tearfull 'nice-guy' pose at the loss of his favorite article of 'youthful' clothing.
Gai took the cards Sora handed him, looked through them and his face formed a triumphant smile.
"GIN!"
Giant sweat drops formed behind the heads of Kakashi and Sora.
"See," Kakashi tsk'ed without looking up from his cards. "He's starting to loose his sanity, he's not even playing the same game!"
Sora just shrugged as if he didn't care and began to count winnings, namely: All of Gai's and Kakashi's money, their Jounin jackets, shirts, gloves, wrappings, sandals, mesh armor, kunai pouches, Gai's leotards, Kakashi's pants, and half of Gai's boxers. (The lower part)
"His choice Kakashi-kun...let's see what else he's willing to loose" Sora muttered in a bored tone.
Three games later, the situation for both Kakashi and Gai only worsened as both men had to use black garbage bags as makeshift clothing as they glared daggers at Sora.
"Oh? What's with the looks now?" Sora raised a brow. "Don't you love it that I almost always win every hand?"
After finishing his last statement, Sora accidentally flicked his arm which caused a couple of aces to fall to the floor and all the color to quickly drain from what little you could see of his face.
The amount of killer intent radiating from the two garbage bag men was so intense that the room began to heat up. Gai had a searing 'youthful' fire in his eyes and Kakashi held an ice cold leer in his only visible eye.
"SORA YOU CHEATING BASTARD!!" Both Kakashi and Gai roared as they jumped Sora in an attempt to murder him, kunai in hand.
Waving his hands defensively in front of him Sora tried to desperately calm the monstrous amount of killer intent that was sent toward him.
"Gentlemen, gentlemen, can't we talk about this? No need to get violent…"
The two garbage bag clad ninjas looked at each other for a moment before nodding in silent agreement and turning back to Sora.
"I'll chop off your penis and make it into a usable kunai and Gai here will take your ball sack and use it as a barf bag," the one eyed copy nin said in a deadly whisper.
There was a whirlwind of movement and the scene changed dramatically.
Gai stood over Sora with a triumphant smile, tightening the ropes that held the other man's arms and legs down as Kakashi traveled south and pulled off Sora's pants, revealing the most erotic pair of boxers ever in the history of pervertedness. (Think every position and erotic deed known to man, all embroidered onto cotton boxers)
Kakashi let out a loud whistle before muttering "Dibs on the boxers"
It was at that exact moment when Naruto arrived through the window with an unconscious Hyuuga in his arms.
"…"
Silence…
Naruto stared at the three jounin in shock for a moment before reverting back to his pre-arrival stoic face. He repositioned the Hyuuga heiress in his arms and calmly walked toward the door leading to an adjoining room.
But before Naruto closed the door behind him, he poked his head out with a sly smile.
"Carry on gentlemen, enjoy!"
A single thought passed through the minds of the three dumfounded men.
Homosexuality
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
Naruto shut the door behind him, successfully nullifying three resounding screams of denial.
Hehehe…revenge is so sweet
Well he was about to eat his words.
Sora, taking pride as the second best womanizer next to his idol Jiraiya was enraged at the thought of being something as accursed as a 'homo' and with a huge blast of raw chakra, broke his bonds sent both Gai and Kakashi flying.
It must have been the will of some higher power or some pretty bad luck when Gai's fist came flying though the door and slammed into the blonds' cranium causing him to loose his balance.
Shit!
Naruto was forced to roll even with his hands full and had miraculously impacted face first into something soft once again and sighed in relief but it was short lived as a soft moan reached his ears.
He lifted his head and his azure blue stare was met with half closed milky white eyes.
She's awake!
The blonds' gaze fell.
I've landed in heaven!
He landed face-first on her crotch to be exact and any lady would know the proper reaction to that.
And I'm in deep shit!
Naruto expected one out of two things to happen: One, he could become temporarily mute and deaf or Two, he'd probably experience the worst beating of his life at the hands of a woman no less. (As of that moment he had yet to be caught)
Boy was he shocked when neither happened.
He dared to tilt his head upward once more and meet that milky white gaze and was completely faulted at her expression.
Anger flew out the window. Disturbed was not present. Embarrassment took a hike and hello dreamy eyed half-consciousness.
"Mmm…oh Naru-kun, don't make me wait" the Hyuuga heiress slurred as she lifted her hips up to the said sun kissed blonds' face.
Naruto swore he felt blood escape his nostrils but immediately started to mentally berate himself.
She's not in a complete state of mind you baka! You're a better man than Sora-sensei, prove it true! Besides, for kami's sake you're both only just about thirteen…
Then a not so reasonable side took over Naturo's train of thought.
Then why did she moan and arch her hips at me like that? How does she know my name? I don't remember ever meeting her in person…why does she smell good enough to…eat?
Naruto's time to ponder on these thoughts ended when the said girl turned the tide and was now atop the blond, straddling him.
NOT GOOD!
"Naru-kuuun…" Hinata moaned as she grinded herself onto him as she nibbled on his ear.
Naruto's heart began to race and broke out into a cold sweat. He was trapped. In her trance like state he could only surmise that she might be acting out her subconscious minds desires without her realizing…and she was starting to fiddle with his zipper…
HELP ME! KAMI-SAMA!
xXx
Hehe…I think I screwed up somewhere but meh…lawl, I'm a failure as a fanfic writer! Well it's up to you folks! The same as always, if you say I write crap then I shall stop or if I get positive reviews I'll continue. Ciao!