DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own Saw or its characters, even though that would be pretty freaking cool. :) I'm just writing something I thought of while watching. Forgive me if things are a bit off. Anyway, hope you enjoy. Thanks for stopping by.

Prologue

"LAWRENCE, GET UP! I need you!" Adam hadn't realized how much he meant that when he said it. He hadn't realized how much it would eat at his nerves when he was saved, but there was no sign of the beloved doctor. Adam did not know love was possible that quickly. Until he met Lawrence, Adam really had no idea what love was at all.

1. Guilt and Realizations

Adam tossed and turned in his bed, groaning every once in a while. His sleeping patterns had been fitful ever since the ordeal in the bathroom. The pungent smells of blood, sweat, tears, and fear still lay in his nose, rancid reminders of everything he had been through. Lawrence's screams echoed in his brain. No matter how hard he tried to push them to the back of his mind, he failed. Anxiously, he turned on his side (the one without the injured shoulder), curling up tighter than usual in the thin sheets and blankets.

Guilt followed him like a cloud pouring acid rain. It stung every time any thoughts of the bathroom or Lawrence entered his brain. Both of them came uninvited often. Why should he still be alive, anyway? Adam had no family (none that would recognize or claim him), no friends. The only things he had ever really been devoted to were his smoking and his work. He had no reason to be alive today.

But, maybe he did. That reason had been right in front of him all along in the bathroom. Adam had no explanation for it, but somehow he was drawn to Dr. Lawrence Gordon. The attraction had been almost instant seeing the blonde haired, blue-eyed man shackled across the room from him. His heart beat faster in his chest as he thought of it.

When Lawrence had lost it and began to saw off his own foot, Adam had screamed. He had also wanted to do nothing but comfort the poor doctor in his temporary madness. But he could not, being chained up still. That was until Larry had finished his bloody deed and came crawling over to Adam after he killed Zep. The feeling of Lawrence touching him in comfort, saying everything would be okay made Adam believe it.

Although he hated revisiting the bathroom, Adam often went back to the moments where they were looking into each other's eyes, just before Larry left. Those blue orbs had stood out so brightly from his ashy white skin... Adam sighed heavily, flopping on to his back. All he had seen in them were apologies and sincerity. He stared up at the dirty ceiling above him. It appeared even grimier with the dim yellow lighting coming from the lamp beside the bed.

'Come on, dumb ass. He had a wife and a kid. What makes you think he would leave them for you? What makes you think he was even attracted to you?' Adam frowned. It hurt to think that the one person he had ever actually cared for might not be interested. Still, his eyes had said something different in their brief exchange.

Something inside Adam told him to stop being such an idiot. He needed to stop thinking and get some sleep. Yet sleep was a rare guest in this apartment lately. Good sleep, anyway. Adam rolled on to his side again, clutching the warm blankets around him tightly.

"God, Lawrence," he muttered. "Where are you?"