A/N: I just sat down the other day and wrote this; hope you like it! Review, please!
Lily stormed into her dormitory one afternoon when class had ended and angrily slammed the door behind her. Throwing herself down on her bed with her fists clenched, she exhaled loudly and closed her eyes.
"Uh oh," she heard one of her roommates mutter before slipping out the door, "Lily's in a mood."
Lily sat up and glared at the closing door, then turned to see who else was in the room.
"Lily, darling, sweetie. I need you to breathe a few more times and then I'll approach you slowly. Okay?"
"Don't worry, I won't attack you. I'm just mad at James." Lily sighed a little and rolled her eyes.
Looking relieved, Lily's friend Holly Marie sat on the edge of Lily's bed. "Okay," she said. "What'd he do?"
Lily paused for a moment. "Well," she began, "he was just being mean."
"How?"
"You know how he is," Lily told Holly Marie shortly, evading a proper explanation.
"Well, yes," said Holly Marie slowly. "But I thought he didn't bother you anymore."
"Well, he does. Apparently he was only being nice for a while so he could turn around and accuse me of everything under the sun!" Lily leaned back into the stack of pillows at the head of her bed and put her head in her hands, propping her elbows on her bent knees. "It was not a pleasant confrontation."
"Okay. But I'm still not getting exactly what he said." Holly Marie pulled Lily's arms down to see her face and looked questioningly at her.
"Never mind. Just forget all about it," said Lily irritably.
Sighing, Holly Marie slipped off the bed and stood up, but stopped as Lily began talking again.
"I mean, I thought we were friends now, right? But friends don't act like he did," she ranted. "That stupid prick was just trying to get me to trust him before..."
"What, did he try to… you know?" asked Holly Marie, raising her eyebrows.
Lily's eyes widened. "No, no. It wasn't like that. He doesn't like me at all anymore; he just apparently hates me now or something."
For a few moments the two girls just looked at each other, Lily with a twisted expression and Holly Marie standing with one hand on her hip and a thoughtful look.
"I seriously doubt he hates you."
Exhaling loudly, Lily ran a hand through her hair and then smoothed it down. She glanced up at Holly Marie.
"You weren't there. He just got angry and took it out on me. Dammit, it just makes me so mad!" Lily threw her hands up in the air and laid down, looking up at the ceiling.
"But you didn't do anything?"
Lily didn't answer, and Holly Marie sat back down next to her.
"Lily, you're going to have to tell me something if you want me to fully understand what he did," she said reasonably.
"Yeah, I know. Okay, here's what happened. Remember after the last class when we were walking back up to the tower, and I realised I had forgotten my Transfiguration textbook?"
"Yeah. James went back with you to get it from the classroom."
Lily nodded. "Well, then we started talking, of course, since we're friends now and all. Or we were friends."
"What did you talk about?"
"Nothing really, just school and homework and how we were glad it was getting to be warmer. Then we got to the classroom and I found my book, but James decided to be funny and go sit at McGonagall's desk, because there was no one else in the room. He was doing this hilarious imitation of her," Lily remembered, smiling a little, "walking around the room and pretending to teach the lesson."
"His and Sirius's impressions of professors are pretty funny," Holly Marie threw in.
"Yeah," agreed Lily. "So he's up at the front of the classroom and I sit down in a desk in the front row and laugh in all the right places until he's done. I'm just sitting there, cracking up, and then he gets all serious and comes and kneels on the ground next to me."
"How close was he?"
"What? I don't know. Not too close, just normal for someone to be next to you," answered Lily, continuing at Holly Marie's nod. "But then, just out of the blue, he kissed me!"
Lily looked up at her friend expectantly, rightfully anticipating shocked sympathy.
"What?" Holly Marie gasped. "This isn't something you throw in during the middle of the story! You should've opened with that piece of information!"
"But it's the key part," she argued.
"Whatever. Did you kiss him back?"
Lily looked down, uncomfortable, and fiddled with a thread in her sheets. "Sort of."
"Sort of?" repeated Holly Marie. "What does that mean?"
"It means yes! I kissed him back, okay?" Lily turned and lay on her stomach, trying to hide from her friend's incredulous gaze.
"So you like him!" she cried triumphantly.
Lily sat back up quickly. "No! I didn't say that!"
"You didn't have to. But don't tell me he got mad because you kissed him back. There had to be something else."
"Well, yeah."
"What was it?" Holly Marie asked impatiently.
"Well, I kind of jumped up, and the desk was knocked over. And I hit him."
"Seriously? What about your wand?"
"I didn't even think about cursing him. I just punched him in the eye. He probably has a black eye now," Lily said miserably.
"Wow," said Holly Marie, impressed. "So he was mean after that? No offence, Lily, but most people would be a little irritated if someone hit them that hard."
"But not James; he never gets mad at me!"
"Lily, you absolutely cannot expect him to adore everything you do all the time!"
Lily looked down. "I know," she whispered.
Holly Marie sighed, flipping her long hair over one shoulder. She reached over and put her hand on Lily's forearm comfortingly.
"He just started saying all of these things," Lily continued, looking away. "Apparently, I'm stubborn and always think I'm right and never change my mind about anyone. Oh, and he said I was scared of him!"
"Scared of him?" echoed Holly Marie.
"He said I'm scared to like him. I think he's actually convinced that I'm secretly in love with him."
"Are you?" Holly Marie asked matter-of-factly.
Lily looked up at her friend, surprised. "Why would you ask that?"
"Well, maybe you aren't in love with him. But I know for a fact that you two are more than just friendly. Don't tell me you don't even like the new and improved James Potter a little!"
"But he kissed me! What gave him the right to do that?" Lily changed the subject.
"Well, are you sure you weren't unconsciously flirting with him? You probably were sending off some signals, since you like him and all."
"Signals?" Lily shrieked. She breathed in to calm herself. "I mean, I did get a little close there-"
"I thought you said he wasn't too close, but then he just kissed you?" Holly Marie grinned now, raising her eyebrows at Lily.
Lily didn't say anything for a few seconds. "Okay, so maybe I was a little close. But I wasn't going to kiss him or anything! I don't think I wanted him to kiss me," she confessed, now uncertain.
"If you were close, he probably thought it would be okay to kiss you then!"
"Yeah, maybe. Okay, I'm not mad that James kissed me anymore," Lily said, rolling her eyes but smiling at her friend.
"Good," said Holly Marie with a smile.
"But I am mad about what he said!"
"That you were stubborn and always think you're right?"
"Yeah, those things. True things, actually," admitted Lily.
"If he only said what was true, you shouldn't be mad at that," Holly Marie reasoned.
"But he thinks I like him or something, and just can't admit it to myself! Don't you think I'd know if I liked him?"
"Well. You did kiss him back. Maybe you don't like him, but you would if you'd just let yourself get over the history you two have," suggested Holly Marie.
Lily looked up at Holly Marie in doubt. "Yeah, right."
"It was only an idea. Just think about it."
"Uh, okay," said Lily surprisedly, now almost becoming thoughtful. "I guess I could think about it."
------------------------------------------
"Hey, Lily?"
Lily looked up, startled, from her Transfiguration homework. She had been working in the Common Room for almost an hour and had one last question left to finish until all of her weekend's homework would finally be done in time for class the next morning.
"Oh, James, hi," she said warily, noticing him as he stood in front of her table looking overly casual.
"Sunday night rounds," James reminded her, tapping his watch. "It's about ten."
"That's right. I just have this last sentence to write for Transfiguration." Lily looked back down at her textbook to continue searching for the answer.
"It's just a wave and a flick. For the spell," James said as he rocked on the balls of his feet with both hands in his pockets slightly nervously.
"Thanks." Closing her work and sliding it into her bag, Lily stood up and left her things on the table. "I guess I'll just get my stuff on the way to bed."
James nodded but said nothing when they began walking, causing Lily to wonder if he was going to pretend he hadn't kissed her two days before. They hadn't spoke since, as Lily had basically avoided him while she thought of a way to handle the situation. Lily sighed, realising not for the first time that sometimes she shouldn't always be concerned with what exactly she should do.
After the first seventeen minutes of walking with only small amounts of rounds-related conversation, Lily understood that James was leaving the decision of boundaries to her. At twenty minutes into the patrolling she chose to stop thinking about what she should do.
"So I've been avoiding you this weekend," she said suddenly and bluntly.
She didn't want to hold anything back from James or worry about what he would think of her. They had been dealing with each other in many different ways for more than six years, and Lily had the feeling that something should be determined that night. With these bold thoughts, she watched for his reaction.
"I know," said James, not surprising Lily in the least that he wouldn't pretend not to understand what she had just declared. He stopped walking then and let his gaze rest on Lily, waiting for her to continue.
"Why did you kiss me?" she asked, truly curious.
James gawked at her. "Why did I kiss you?"
"Yes," answered Lily, raising her eyebrows. She put her hand on her hip. "I mean, for the past few years you've asked me out and showed off around me. Then this year, there's none of that. You don't like me anymore. So what was the point of kissing me? Did you just want to make me crazy?"
"Okay, Lily, I was not trying to mess with you, if that's what you think. I know I shouldn't have kissed you, especially since we've become friends this year-"
Lily cut him off. "Damn straight! What were you thinking?"
"I didn't think," James said quietly, looking frustrated with himself. "But what do you mean, I don't like you anymore? Is that what you think?"
Lily's jaw dropped and she leaned back against the stone wall of the corridor. "You still like me?"
"I'd say it's a little more than just liking you, Lily. Ever since fourth year I've been asking you out, right? But then I knew I was being a jerk and that wasn't the way to go. So this year…"
"You've been a normal human being," finished Lily in realisation.
"Yeah." James sighed. "I thought that would make you like me or something," he admitted, then hurriedly added, "not that being friends with you hasn't been great. I guess I'll just have to accept that you don't want to date me, right?"
"Well, I don't know," Lily said, startled. "I didn't realise there was still the option of dating you. It really did seem like you had just forgotten about me… in that way."
"But you know now," said James, laughing a little. "That ends a lot of confusion."
Lily watched James but didn't say anything. Why would he still like her, especially as more than a friend? It didn't make sense to her.
"What you said, earlier," Lily began slowly, "about me never changing my mind about anyone?" Lily looked at James to make sure he was listening, and he nodded. "Well, I have now. You really are different this year."
James grinned. "I guess I grew up. But thanks."
Lily smiled, but then remembered what else he had told her. "But what did you mean I was scared?" she asked, blushing a little. "Do you think I like you?"
"Not really. I was mad that you couldn't accept how hard I'd worked all year to be different. It just seemed like you would like me, if you would give me the chance. So I guess that's why I kissed you."
"I kissed you back, you know," Lily said suddenly, looking down.
James nodded again but said nothing.
Looking up again, Lily felt her heart start to thud in her chest. James was standing right there in front of her, not even three feet away, looking different to her than ever before. She stepped forward, not sure what she was doing, and James's eyes widened.
"I think I'm finally ready to believe you," Lily whispered with a smile.
James looked unsure, but slowly began to grin broadly. "Oh, yeah?" he asked.
He came closer and looked at her for a moment, then leaned down and kissed her again. This time, Lily didn't even think of hitting him.
A/N: How about a review? Short ones are good, too! Thanks.