Coming of Age

Epilogue

Four years later…

"I've done a thorough check, sirs," the limo driver said. "This is the place."

"Um, thanks, heh heh heh."

"Yeah, huh huh, you're gonna, like, get a raise or something."

"Thank you," the limo driver nodded graciously.

The limousine door opened to reveal two young men dressed in impeccable clothing and lined with stylish haircuts. The taller one with brown hair walked out first, soon followed by his blonde companion. They stepped inside the hotel lobby and checked in their names to get their keys.

"So, um, why are we here again, Butt-head?" asked Beavis. Though he was dressed more elegantly than before, he was still the same person deep down inside.

"Uh, I think we're here for some kind of reunion," Butt-head told him.

"Oh yeah, heh heh, I forgot."

"Some of those dudes must be old by now!"

"Yeah, especially McVicker, heh heh heh!"

"Say, aren't you two the main characters from The Great Cornholio?" asked one of the busboys in the hotel.

"Yeah, heh heh…"

"Wow, I can't believe it's Beavis and Butt-head!" the busboy exclaimed. "I've gotten your entire play on DVD with all the extras!"

"Cool, huh huh huh."

"Yeah, heh heh, would you like an autograph or something?"

"Oh would I?" the busboy took out a pen and piece of paper.

"Here you go, heh heh," Beavis signed it, then followed by Butt-head.

"Thanks guys!" their busboy told them and handed them their key. "Your room is upstairs on the third floor!"

"Being famous is cool!" Butt-head declared.


"Hello sir," the limo driver pulled up besides an elderly man working on his lawn. "You wouldn't happen to know where Highland High is, would you?"

"Well shucks," Tom Anderson scratched his head. "I do believe it's a few blocks down and then you turn to the right."

"I see, thank you very much for your time," the driver nodded.

"You wouldn't happen to have kids there, would you?"

"No sir," the driver shook his head. "I'm bringing two people there for their high school reunion."

Beavis and Butt-head stepped out to greet Tom Anderson.

"Hey, how's it going?" asked Beavis.

"Mighty fine, and how about you, young man?" Mr. Anderson nodded.

"Uh, we're good," Butt-head replied. "Huh huh huh."

"Is this your lawn, sir?" asked Beavis. "Heh heh…"

"Why, it sure it!" Anderson puffed up his chest proudly. "I've built and cultivated it myself after four years of peace and prosperity!"

"Cool, heh heh heh."

"Uh, huh huh huh huh huh!"

"A while back, there were two young hooligans who would make life hard for me," Anderson told them. "They weren't like you boys, all well-behaved and whatnot. They were pure demons from hell who'd ruin my lawn every chance they'd get!"

"Huh huh huh huh huh!"

"Heh heh heh heh heh!"

"After a while, they just vanished," Anderson informed them. "Life's been a lot easier for me since."

"Um, what do you think happened to them, sir?" asked Beavis.

"Well, I imagine they moved to another town or given up their hooligan ways finally," Anderson replied. "In any case, I don't think I have to worry about them at this point."

"Okay, huh huh huh."

"Anyways, I gotta head back in now," Anderson told them. "You boys take care of yourselves, ya hear?"

"Um, thank you for your concern," Beavis smiled. "Heh heh heh!"

"Yeah, have a good day or something," Butt-head chuckled. "Huh huh huh."

After Anderson walked inside, the duo took notice of his tractor which was still lying outside.

"Check this out, Beavis," Butt-head got on. "I wonder if this still works."

"Whoa, the key's still inside, heh heh!" exclaimed Beavis. "Turn it on! Turn it on! Vroom, vroom! Heh heh heh heh heh!"

Doing as he was told, Butt-head switched on the engines immediately. The engines sputtered on and slammed both itself and its riders into the side of Anderson's house due to Butt-head's foot being on the brakes. The tractor had demolished a sizable portion of the wall from the looks of it.

"What in tarnation was that?" Anderson's angry voice was heard from inside.

"Um, I think we'd better get outta here, Butt-head," Beavis recommended.

"Good idea, Beavis, huh huh huh…"


The hallways of Highland High were already bustling with people from all corners of the States. Most of them were coming back to celebrate their high school reunion. A few of them, however, were also coming back to celebrate a reunion of other sorts. It was to commemorate the special four year anniversary of a summer trip that had led to the foundation of firm friendships and spaced out adventures.

"Do you believe Beavis and Butt-head will arrive soon?" Van Driessen asked Buzzcut.

"Hell if I know," Buzzcut cross his arms.

Neither of the men had changed much in the four years that had gone by. Buzzcut was still clad in his usual gym wear while Van Driessen was still dressed up in the same hippie clothing he had before.

"I can't wait to see them," Dean walked up to the two teachers. "I got backstage tickets for their next show in London."

"I will say, I never thought they would embark on this unexpected career path," admitted Van Driessen.

"Well, it may not be as high of a priority as serving your country," Buzzcut conceded. "But at least they're doing something with their lives."

Just then, a limousine pulled over. The doors opened up and Beavis and Butt-head stepped out. Both Van Dreissen and Buzzcut were surprised at how they still looked the same as before with relatively few, if any, changes for their physical characteristics.

"Hmm, I thought for sure two internationally recognized actors would dress up a little more… informally for this reunion," Van Driessen whispered to Buzzcut.

"Who knows," Buzzcut whispered back. "Maybe it's their off season."

"Uh, hey," Butt-head greeted them.

"Beavis and Butt-head!" Dean exclaimed. "It's great to see you guys again! How's life?"

"Pretty good, heh heh heh," Beavis smiled.

"How did it feel being the Great Cornholio for four years?" asked Dean.

"Um, who?" asked Beavis. He was still in the dark regarding his Great Cornholio personality which surfaced during every show when he had too much coffee or sweets.

"I think he's talking about that dude you play, Beavis," Butt-head informed.

"Oh yeah, heh heh, that dude."

"Want to come inside?" Van Driessen opened the door. "We have both faculty and students who are eager to see you.

"Sure, huh huh huh."


"Whoa, it's Beavis and Butt-head!"

"It's really them!"

"They're back!"

A crowd of students gathered around the duo soon after they entered into the gymnasium where everyone was. Even students who had previously been disgusted by the pair's antics during high school, including Kimberly and Tommy, went up.

"Being famous rules!" Butt-head said.

After signing enough autographs for the crowd, the furor died down and everybody went back to socializing with everyone else.

"Hey dudes," Earl walked up to them.

"Uh, hey Earl," Butt-head greeted.

In the past four years, Earl had also changed greatly. Gone were his former gang clothing and piercings. He now looked much better dressed and respectable. He had also shaved his goatee and gotten rid of his beard in favor of a clean-shaven face. There was no doubt that he was no longer the rough and violent young man he had been in the past.

"Look at you two," Earl pointed out. "Been traveling across the world, huh?"

"Yeah, heh heh, those chicks in France rule!" Beavis agreed.

"Uh, what've you been up to, Earl?" asked Butt-head.

"I've been getting my degree in engineering," Earl told them. "It's taken me a while but I think I should be able to graduate by next year."

"Whoa, I can't believe it's you guys!" a deep voice from behind them announced.

"Uh, who's that?" Beavis turned around.

Within their line of sight was a tall, blonde man with a baseball cape worn slightly tiled over his head. He wore a pink polo shirt and standard khaki shorts. He was also taller than the duo as well, with a well-chiseled face and a muscular body that had been honed to perfection within the last four years.

"Aw come on," the deep voice echoed. "You guys don't remember me?"

"Uh, no," Butt-head admitted.

"It's me, Stewart!" the man said.

"Did he just say his name was Stewart?" Beavis asked Butt-head.

"He doesn't look like Stewart," Butt-head responded skeptically.

"It really is me, guys," Stewart told them. "I know I look a little different now but I've been working out a lot in the past few years. Besides, I also went through a late growth spurt in college."

"Oh, uh, okay…" Butt-head said uneasily, well aware that Stewart was now at a point where he could pound him in if he truly wanted to.

"Yeah and um… nice hat or something," Beavis said, apparently feeling the same way.

"Thanks guys," Stewart put his arms around both of them with a vice-like hug. "It's great seeing you again!"

"Yeah… great," Beavis said, feeling the pressure.

"You guys wanna come to my place after this for some beer?" offered Stewart.

"Did he just say beer?" Butt-head's eyes lit up.

"Yeah, we're up to it!" Beavis agreed.

"Sure, huh huh huh!"

"Well, I've got some catching up to do," Stewart told them. "I'll meet you guys after the reunion."

"I see you've already met Stewart," a female voice was there to greet them.

Cassandra was dressed differently than before. Her hair was now tied into a ponytail and she wore a tye-dye t-shirt with a symbol of peace on it. She no longer wore her old Doc Martin's boots but now her footwear consisted on green tennis shoes.

"Hey," Butt-head waved.

"How's it going?" asked Beavis.

"So you've finally found your calling in life?" Cassandra inquired. "I've watched some of your plays and found them mesmerizing."

"Yeah, Broadway is kickass!" Butt-head agreed.

"Have you seen anyone else?" asked Cassandra.

"We've seen Earl, huh huh."

"Um, we've also seen Buzzcut and Van Driessen," Beavis told her. "They still look like wussies, heh heh heh."

"Yeah, especially Van Driessen!" Butt-head concurred.

"Mr. Van Driessen and Coach Buzzcut are still teaching here, I believe," Cassandra pointed out.

"So, like, was that really Stewart?" asked a still-incredulous Beavis.

"Yes, he and I have kept up with each other on email," Cassandra nodded. "He really has been working out and coming out of his shell."

"Uh, that's nice," Butt-head said. "I think…"

"Beavis and Butt-head!" another voice called out. "Great to see you guys again!"

The former Burger World manager, Mr. Graham, and the Positive Acting Teens had shown up for the reunion as well. Stewart's parents were there as well, although this time they were not here to baby Stewart.

"How are you dears doing?" asked Mrs. Stevenson.

"Uh, we're doing good, ma'am," Butt-head replied.

"How ha doing, Beavis?" Mr. Stevenson gave Beavis an unwelcome hug.

"Um… good, I think."

"You two have been a great influence on the Positive Acting Teens," Mr. Graham told them. "We're hosting a special school play based on some of your performances on Broadway."

"Cool, heh heh heh."

"Huh huh huh."

Then they noticed the championship belt slung over their former manager's shoulders.

"Whoa, what is that?" asked Butt-head.

"It's my World Heavyweight Championship title, boys," the former manager told them.

"Cool, heh heh! The Amazing Mucho kicks ass!" Beavis declared.

"Actually," the ex-manager replied. "My persona isn't the Amazing Mucho anymore. I'm now known as The Grill."

"Oh yeah, huh huh," Butt-head chuckled. "I remember seeing your new name once during a Pay Per View."

"Could you, like, perform some cool stuff for us?" requested Beavis.

"Sure thing," the ex-manager grabbed on to a school microphone.

"This kicks ass," announced Butt-head.

"LISTEN UP GUYS!" The Grill shouted into his microphone. "THIS MATCH AIN'T OVER 'TILL IT'S OVER! BECAUSE WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES TWELVE, THERE AIN'T NO WHERE YOU CAN GO AND NO WHERE YOU CAN HIDE… IF YA SMEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL… WHAT THE GRILL… IS… COOKING!"

"We need to watch wrestling more often, Butt-head," Beavis said to his companion.

"Yeah, what time does it come on again?" Butt-head nodded.

"Um… I think it comes on during Thursday nights or something."

"Okay, huh huh."

"Beavis and Butt-head," Coach Buzzcut came up to the duo.

"Um, yes?"

"We have a special somebody who'd like to see you today," Van Driessen informed them.


"Hey there," Daria waved to the two just as they neared the teacher's lounge.

She was dressed differently with a white office dress and a black skirt. Her hairstyle was combed a bit more elegantly before but otherwise, it was still the same. The characteristic eyeglasses that garnished her face were still there.

"Hey Daria," Butt-head waved.

"How's it going?" asked Beavis.

"Pretty good, and yourselves?" Daria smiled.

"We've been around the block, huh huh huh!" joked Butt-head.

"Aren't you, like, some kind of writer now?" asked Beavis.

"Yes, a novelist in fact," said Daria. "I'm on my third book now, Beavis Butterneck and the Fields of the Nephilim."

"Which is pretty good reading as a matter of fact," Van Driessen caught up with them. "I've recommended it for several of my freshman students. I suppose it's safe to say it's based off a certain pair of students we both know?"

"Got it on the first try," Daria acknowledged.

"Once you're done talking with Daria, just come down this route to Room 332," Van Driessen told the duo. "He's very eager to see you two."

"So, where have you two been in the past four years?" asked Daria.

"Um, all over the place?" Beavis scratched his head.

"I've seen some of your brochures," she told them. "There's London, Tokyo, Paris, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Berlin, Moscow, Bangkok, Amsterdam, New York, Los Angeles, Mexico City, and a few more places I forgot about."

"Bang cock… huh huh huh!" Butt-head laughed, completely misinterpreting Bangkok's name.

"Yeah, those girls in Paris are sluts, heh heh!"

"That's good to hear," Daria told them.

"Hey!" another, more cheery voice called out. "Oh my God! Is that really THE Beavis and Butt-head?"

"The ones and only," Daria reminded her younger sister.

The young woman who stood before Beavis and Butt-head was a strikingly beautiful redhead in a pink sweater and blue jeans.

"Oh wow!" Quinn came up to Beavis and Butt-head excitedly. "I've always wanted to go to one of your shows but I never got the chance!"

"Whoa, Beavis!" Butt-head commented on Quinn. "Who is this chick?"

"I dunno, Butt-head…" croaked Beavis. "But I'm feeling a stiffy coming on, heh heh heh!"

"This is Quinn, my younger sister," Daria told them.

"Uh, huh huh huh huh huh!"

"Heh heh heh heh heh heh!"

"I knew you guys would get along great," remarked Daria.

"Um, is that really your sister?" Beavis whispered to Daria.

"Wanna see the DNA test?" offered Daria.

"So how do you prepare for the role of the Great Cornholio?" Quinn asked Beavis.

"Well, um… I, like, eat right or something," Beavis said nervously.

"The consumption of high amounts of sugar wouldn't be involved, would it?" Daria joked.

"Yeah, huh huh!" Butt-head laughed. "Beavis eats that before every show!"

"So you think I could hang out with you two backstage sometime?" asked Quinn. "I'm sure we have soooo much to talk about!"

Before Beavis and Butt-head could respond the proper way, Van Driessen came up to the duo again.

"Mr. McVicker is ready to see you now," he told them.


"Now remember," Van Driessen told the duo as they neared the door to the lounge. "Mr. McVicker is no longer as… spry as he used to be. In fact, he now resides at a home for elderly people."

"So remember to be respectful at all times!" Buzzcut ordered the duo.

"Yes, and I feel it's also important to tell you that Mr. McVicker is no longer able to walk on his own anymore. He requires the use of a wheelchair to get around these days. So please be careful not to raise his blood temperature or to upset him in any way."

"Okay, huh huh."

"Yeah, we'll be good, heh heh heh…"

Buzzcut opened the door and let the two boys in.

Sitting in a wheelchair was an infirm old man who looked as if the years had not treated him well. But as soon as McVicker saw the two boys again, his face shone again as if life had returned to his veins. Duly noted by the duo, the final hair on his head was now gone and he was completely bald. His eyes looked a bit droopier than before as well, most likely a sign of him having aged more in the past four years.

To his right was also a walking stick. Apparently, McVicker did have moments where he could walk, but only with the aid of his stick.

"Uhhhh, Beavis and Butt-head," McVicker adjusted his glasses.

"Hey, how's it going?" Beavis waved.

"It's been such a long time," McVicker said. "Seems like yesterday when we last talked."

"Whoa Beavis, do you see how old McVicker is?" Butt-head asked.

"Yeah, heh heh. I bet he needs diapers for old people, heh heh heh!"

"Huh huh huh huh huh!"

McVicker coughed a little bit then he surveyed the duo's faces intently.

"When I see the two of you, I think back to all those times you've raised hell for me…" McVicker told them.

Beavis and Butt-head looked at each other. There were just so many moments of those that they had lost track of all the times they made McVicker's life a living hell.

"But then I think back to the wondrous thing you did," McVicker said softly. "I remember how you two saved my life and gave me a new purpose to look forward to."

"We actually helped McVicker?" Beavis questioned Butt-head.

Butt-head only shrugged.

"I'm older than before," McVicker said softly. "I have to rely on my cane and my wheelchair now… but I'll also be honest, I've never been happier than ever before in my life. And it's all thanks to you good kids."

"Hey Butt-head, is there a radio in here?" asked Beavis as McVicker combined rambling nonsensically.

"Uh, there's over there," Butt-head pointed to a nearby stereo.

"And then I remember the time when Beavis came over to my office after consuming extreme loads of candy," McVicker continued his story.

Beavis went over to the radio and turned it on. He flipped through a few dials until finally he came to a station that played an Iron Maiden song.

"Whoa, this kicks ass!" Beavis declared.

"Turn it up louder, Beavis," ordered Butt-head.

"Um okay, heh heh heh!"

"YOU'VE LIVED FOR THE TOUCH, FOR THE FEEL OF THE STEEL! ONE MAN… AND HIS HONOUR!"

"Aaaaahhhhh!" McVicker covered his ears. "What the hell are you doing?"

"We're partying, huh huh huh!" Butt-head began headbanging.

McVicker howled in displeasure as a strange feeling began overwhelming him from within. He looked at Beavis and Butt-head standing there and headbanging like nothing was wrong. The loud and heavy music was now grating on the last nerve he had in his system…

"This song kicks ass!" Butt-head declared.

"Yeah, heh heh! It rules!"

"You… You… l-l-little… BASTARDS!" McVicker howled.

Bolting upright, McVicker sprang onto his two feet without any aid from his cane.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" McVicker screamed.

"Whoa, McVicker can walk again?" Butt-head was shocked. Beavis stopped and stared as well.

"I SHOULD'VE KILLED YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!" McVicker grabbed on to his cane.

Both Beavis and Butt-head had to snap out of their surprise as McVicker swung the cane directly at their heads. They ducked it and McVicker smashed open a goldfish bowl lying on the table.

"I'll get you little b-b-bastards!" McVicker raved like a madman.

"Um, are you okay?" Beavis asked. "Heh heh heh."

"DIE!"

Beavis and Butt-head dodged another blow and ran out the door with McVicker running after them.


"Hey Daria," Stewart went up to his old friend. "How's the third Beavis Butterneck book coming up?"

"I'm about a third of the way through," Daria told him. "It should be done sometime in the spring."

"YOU LITTLE BASTARDS! I'LL KILL YOU!" a loud voice was heard from the hallways.

Beavis and Butt-head ran out and squeezed past the crowd. Soon enough, McVicker was there as well, with his cane in his hand, shouting and cursing angrily. By some strange miracle of nature, he was able to walk again. And more than just that, he was chasing after Beavis and Butt-head with his own two legs. Everyone, including the Grill, the Stevensons, Stewart, Daria, Quinn, Cassandra, and all the teachers stopped to look.

"H-How is he able to do that?" Van Driessen looked at McVicker chasing the duo towards the exit.

"Stamina," Buzzcut cross his arms. "It's gotta be the stamina."

"Think we should go after them?" asked the Grill.

"Nah, let McVicker blow off some steam," Daria suggested.

"I sure hope Beavis and Butt-head'll be alright," Stewart scratched his head.

"They'll be alright," Daria reassured the group. "They're fast runners."

"Oh no!" Quinn cried as Beavis and Butt-head ran out the exit. "I didn't even get their autographs!"

"Better hurry up," Stewart told her. "They could be out of town before you know it."

"Okay!" Quinn hurried off after the duo.

"Go get 'em, tiger," Daria encouraged her younger sister.

"Um, hey Butt-head," Beavis asked as the duo ran into the sunset. "Remind me why is McVicker chasing us again?"

"Uh, I dunno," Butt-head was straightforward. "I think he's, like, senile or something."

"Oh yeah, heh heh, or maybe his grandpa diapers broke, heh heh heh heh heh!"

"You're pretty funny, Beavis, huh huh huh huh huh!"

"I'll kill you!" McVicker shouted after the duo as they ran up the hill.

"Hey guys, wait up!" Quinn shouted as she trailed them from behind McVicker.

"Hey Beavis, that chick is coming for us, huh huh! Come to Butt-head!"

"Um, I think we have to ditch McVicker first…"

"Uh, oh yeah… this sucks!"

"Get back here, you little bastards!" McVicker shouted after them.

"Can I have backstage passes for your next show?" Quinn called.

"Uh, okay!" Butt-head called back to Quinn.

"Come down here so I can flay you!" McVicker ran after the duo with all his might.

"No way, McDicker!" Beavis shouted back. "Go back to your crib and play with your sucker!"

"Yeah, and have someone change your diaper too!" Butt-head added.

"I'll hogtie you and run you over!" threatened McVicker.

"Oh, and do you guys think you can show me a cool night in whatever town you go to next?" Quinn called to them.

"Uh okay…" Butt-head ran down the old neighborhood he and Beavis used to live in. "Just as soon as we ditch McDicker…"

"Um, how do we do that?" asked Beavis.

"Whoa!" Butt-head cried as McVicker's walking stick sailed past his head. "I dunno, but let's get away from him first!"

"Yeah, heh heh, then we can talk to that chick."

"Beavis, you just read my mind, huh huh huh."

"Wait up," Quinn called out again. "Can I see what your limo looks like?"

"Hey Butt-head, how do you think that chick is Daria's sister?"

"Uh… maybe she got the good side of her family?"

"We have to invite her to our next show, heh heh!"

"Yeah, we really do!"

"Hey Butt-head, think we should invite McVicker as well?"

"Beavis you dumbass! Don't even think about it!"

"Oh sorry, heh heh heh!"

Running together side by side, the duo continued sprinting off into the horizon as McVicker and Quinn chased them. And in this case, both pursuers wanted to get their hands on Beavis and Butt-head for entirely different reasons indeed.

The End.

A/N: This is it, guys. The story's officially over. I decided to do this epilogue to add a decidedly "happier" ending for Beavis and Butt-head, showing that they can indeed move forward in life. On the flip side, however, their personalities have changed very little, if any at all. And that was the whole theme of my story to begin with. For a story titled "Coming of Age," I wanted to have it where change occurs in the lives of Beavis and Butt-head and the people surrounding them but the duo themselves don't really change or mature at all, despite all they go through. I've also decided to leave some things open-ended as well for this final chapter. Have Beavis and Butt-head really scored in the four years leading up to this epilogue? Is McVicker really as senile and as weak as he is now because of what the duo did to him? How did Stewart finally grow a backbone? Will Daria's Beavis Butterneck series become the next Chronicles of Narnia? Will the former Burger World manager become a longer reigning World Champion than The Rock? Will Quinn finally end up with Beavis or with Butt-head? These are all questions that I'll leave up to you, the reader, to decide. But for here and now, the story is over and I believe it's good to end it on a good note while it's still going strong. I'd like to thank all the people who have been reviewing this story, including Drucilla Black, Mr. Gopher, and KingdomKey. Thanks, everyone! I sincerely hope you enjoyed the story. It's been a hell of a ride but all good things must come to an end. I suppose from this point on, I'll continue my B&B parodies story with a Harry Potter and Chronicles of Narnia parody so this definitely won't be the end of me writing Beavis and Butt-head stories. Like Butt-head said in a previous chapter, let the good times roll.