Yeah, once again, sorry this took so long, but I was having computer issues, plus this chapter is more than twice as long as one of my average chapters...

I'll put what I have to say at the end of the chappie--for now, enjoy the LAST CHAPTER of Kingdom Hearts Malaguapu Island!

The Finale (Insert Random Phrase Here)

After watching Ansem and Imogene leave to prepare for the upcoming challenge, the group of people stood around for approximately 34 seconds before Zexion turned around and began walking away.

"Where are you going?!" Sora asked, eagerly following the Nobody.

"I am returning to camp to retrieve some supplies." he responded.

"Good idea." Riku commented, following the stoic man.

"Hold it!" Xemnas shouted, halting them in their tracks. "We should come up with a plan of action if we want to get off this island." he explained.

"We can do that while walking." Zexion replied, sounding a bit annoyed at his purposeful exit being interrupted.

"Er, right."

Xemnas, along with the rest of the group, began the walk back to the campsite.

"Hey, that crazy biatch said that this would be a challenge, so won't we all be competin' against each other?" Cid asked.

"I don't wanna fight my friends." Kairi whined. At a well-placed cough by Xigbar caught her attention. "Right--or you guys." she added for the Organization members.

"I could hear your inner turmoil about that." Saix said sarcastically.

"Either way, whether we like it or not, one of us is gonna have to win this challenge." Axel shrugged.

"So…who's it gonna be?" Yuffie asked hesitantly, looking around at the group.

At that moment, Xaldin, who had been unconscious in Sephiroth's arms, woke up. As he looked around in confusion, Sephiroth noticed that the Nobody was awake. Without any qualms, the silver haired man dropped Xaldin, who fell to the floor with an "Ooof!". Oblivious to the tension in the air, he asked, "What'd I miss?"

He was ignored.

"Anyway, I honestly don't give a damn about who wins. I just want to get home." Kairi said, her longing for her stepmother's home cooked enchiladas obvious.

"Yeah, well you don't have what it takes even if you wanted to win. I'm gonna be the one to walk away with the million." Larxene said, grinning savagely.

"Look, can we just not talk about who wins and focus on surviving whatever Ansem and Imogene have in store for us?" Demyx pleaded.

"Kid's got a point. I don't recon it'll be any help for us to be fightin' with each other." Cid said while idly chewing on the end of a blade of grass. Larxene sneered, but argued no further.

They reached the camp and began scavenging any and all items that they might be able to use.

"I'm ready…" Sora began while tying his faithful Bob the Builder blanket around his neck, "for one last battle as a defender of justice!" The boy struck a pose and his blanket cape fluttered in the wind.

"Hey kid, can I join your team as a sidekick?" Axel asked just to humor the boy.

Sora frowned. "Riku told me not to hang around with you because you're a 'bad influence'." he said and walked away while opening a bag of corn nuts to feed to the local squirrels.

Axel's mouth dropped open in indignation. Stomping over to Riku, he yanked the teen around by the shoulder to turn him towards himself and asked, "Why did you tell Sora not to hang out with me?!"

Riku retained his cool as he replied, "Because, like I said, you're a bad influence and I didn't want Sora to develop a love for burning things." The silver haired teen raised an eyebrow upon seeing that Axel had stopped paying attention to him in order to light a sock on fire. The Nobody giggled with mirth as it shriveled up, then realized he was being watched. Dropping what remained of the fried sock, he cleared his throat.

"Y-yeah? Well your face likes to burn things! Ohhh, burn!"

Riku rolled his eyes. "Reason number two--I didn't want him to get in the habit of being a jerk."

"What are you, his mommy?" the redhead sneered.

"Of course not!" Riku shouted defensively, apparently flustered.

--Flashback--

"Sora, don't lick that! You'll contract AIDS!" a nine year-old Riku exclaimed as an eight year-old Sora froze, about to put his tongue to a plant leaf.

"What are you, his mom?" Tidus laughed as he walked by them.

--Flashback #2--

Riku (still 9) was carrying a half-asleep Sora (still 8) back to his house. As he tucked him in his bed, he couldn't resist singing his younger friend a lullaby.

"Rock-a-by Sora, on the treetop, when the Heartless come, you'll beat them right up--"

From the doorway, Sora's mom giggled. "What are you, his mom?"

"Aaaah! Why does everyone always pick on me?!" Riku sobbed and dashed out of the room, shoving past Sora's mom in the process.

"Don't forget that you two have a play date this Saturday!" the woman called after Riku as he slammed the front door. "What a funny kid." Sora's mom said to herself with a smile.

--End Flashbacks--

"Geez, take it easy. I was just joking." Axel chuckled. "Or was I?" he added ambiguously as he walked away.

"Has anyone seen my other sock?" Yuffie wailed in distress.

"I think Riku had it." Axel lied easily.

"Riku? What on earth is he doing with my sock?" Yuffie asked, bewildered.

"You guys really don't have much for us to work with." Leon commented as he watched Demyx sift through a pile of prizes they had acquired through their various challenges.

"That's not our fault!" Demyx protested as he tossed aside a pair of bowling shoes and a thermostat.

"We don't have time to worry about our lack of materials--we've got to leave for the beach now." Saix announced.

Without further adieu, the group made their way to the north-most beach, prepared for an ultra intense battle for freedom and democracy (minus the democracy).

"I see you didn't end up chickening out." Imogene said insolently as they arrived.

"Your mom's a chicken!" Axel shot back snidely.

"Really? Well, that would explain a lot of things…" the girl murmured.

"What's with all of the mom jokes?" Vexen asked no one in particular. "They are so childish."

"So, what is our final challenge going to be?" Zexion inquired, getting straight to the point.

"I'm glad you asked." the girl smirked. "The next challenge is--" she was interrupted by Ansem tugging on her sleeve and murmuring something to her. Imogene sighed, exasperated. "For the last time, no, Ansem! You can't have that stupid flashlight back until the challenge is over." Ansem sniffed, dejected.

"Anyway, the final challenge will be an extreme obstacle course!" Imogene revealed, spreading her arms wide and laughing manically. ("Hm, I do tend to laugh manically a lot, don't I?" she pondered to herself)

"The -sniff- first one to the flagpole at the end of the course wins the one million prize and -sniff- the opportunity to leave the island, along with your teammates." Imogene rolled her eyes at Ansem's soppy behavior.

"What a crybaby." she scoffed. "But anyway, he's right. Now what are y'all waiting for? Get a move on!" she exclaimed, pointing at a nearby path emphatically.

With the grace of a thousand golden giraffes, the group was off and running.

"Well, at least there's nothing out of the ordinary." Kairi said optimistically, as if tempting the fates.

Alas, the girl had spoken too soon, for no sooner had the words left her mouth, the ground beneath their feet opened. ("What? We were tempted." the fates explained with shrugs) With a collective yell, everyone fell in to the pit below, half sinking into a pool of sand that was the floor.

"Eck! I've got sand in my clothes!" Larxene complained.

"There's a door right over there!" Cloud shouted. The castaways began scrambling towards it, fighting the sand. Leon was the first to make his way out of the sand and stood on the door's edge, helping his fellow teammates out of the pit. Aerith was the last one out of the pit and as Leon took her hand, she let out a yell befitting an Amazonian woman and swung the surprised man over her head, tossing him back into the sand pit.

"What the hell was that?!" Leon exclaimed, spitting sand out of his mouth.

"Oops. Sorry Squall! It's a reflex!" Aerith apologized and ran off to follow the others.

"That's Leon!" the man corrected with a shout as he began the struggle to reach the door all over again.

Meanwhile, somewhere in a desert, a little turtle discovered that he had the power to change the world if he just believed.

Back on the island, the group had reached a road block. The underground passage had brought them to a giant steel door. A giant closed and locked steel door. Xigbar kicked it repeatedly, but the door wouldn't budge an inch.

"I believe that may be the lock up there." Zexion said, pointing up near the top of the door where a small button protruded from the wall. (it was conveniently tagged with a large blinking neon sign that read 'push to open'.)

"But there's no way we could reach that." Marluxia reasoned. "It's way too high up."

"Damnit! We can't loose here!" Xemnas yelled in frustration.

"What if we never get past this door and we're trapped here forever?! Sora cried. "Think of all the things I'll never see again! No more chocolate, no more assorted fruit candies, no more donuts--"

"That's it!" Xigbar exclaimed, a light bulb lighting up above his head. He turned to Yuffie. "Yuffie, can you use your powers as the head of the National Federation of Donut Worshipers to summon some donuts to hit the switch with?"

Yuffie's eyes had bulged at the mention of donuts. "So round…and…sugary!" she squeaked in terror.

"Get a hold of yourself! Either you get over your silly fear of donuts, or we stay here trapped forever! Take your pick!" Vexen yelled, shaking the girl by the shoulders for punctuation.

Yuffie bit her lip and wrung her hands nervously, trying to gather her wits. Finally, she stepped forward. "Alright. I'll give it a try." The ninja girl closed her eyes in concentration and raised her hands toward the ceiling. "Oh Deity of Donuts! Bring us your sugar-filled salvation!" she chanted. Slowly but surely, a small grayish cloud formed and it began to rain…leeks. Everyone stared blankly as the stick-like vegetables fell from the cloud.

"Leeks?" Demyx muttered questioningly, picking one up.

"Um…I think you missed the mark a bit." Cid deadpanned.

"Try again!" Xemnas demanded.

"Right! Um, er…Send us some donuts, my sugar-licious!" Yuffie called. New clouds formed and freshly baked bread rolls began falling.

"Do these look like donuts?!" Xemnas asked, slapping Yuffie across the face with one of the rolls.

"Ack! I'm trying! I'm trying!" the girl sobbed. She attempted a third time, the clouds formed once again and this time, bagels began to fall. "Damn it!" The girl yelled in frustration.

"Bagels? Eh, close enough." Xemnas shrugged.

"Youch! These things are hard!" Axel complained when one struck his head. One of the incredibly hard bagels in question hit the lock button dead on and it beeped. The team cheered as the large door began to open.
"This is pretty pimpin." Lexaeus said out of nowhere.

"Follow me, brave warriors!" Sora called as he marched through the door and into the darkness beyond.

"Even when we're fighting for our freedom, he can't act serious." Vexen sighed.

As they walked through the door, the shaft ahead of them became illuminated as ceiling lights flickered to life. The passage was cold and the walls were reinforced with steel.

"Anyone else feeling claustrophobic?" Kairi asked, gulping.

"Fearing enclosed spaces is for wimps." Merlin scoffed.

"What did you say old man?!" Kairi rounded on the wizard.

"You heard me!"

"Why don't you say that to my face?!"

"Kiss my wrinkly old bum!"

"Gag me with a spoon!"

"Ladies, please! Let's try and keep the peace for the good of the team!" Xigbar intervened.

"Ladies?!" Merlin blurted indignantly, then began mumbling incoherently.

"What a bunch of buffoons." Sephiroth leered, rolling his eyes.

"Those are my friends you're talking about." Cloud glared warningly at the silver haired man.

"Surely you can do better than them."

"I probably could, but that's not the point!"

The two met, the clash from their swords echoing throughout the corridor.

Xigbar sighed. "Ladies, please!" The Freelance Shooter shut up as he saw the glares the two directed at him. "Have a good fight!" he finished lamely with a chuckle. The rest of the group decided to just leave the two fighting titans behind as they continued toward the exit.

Gradually, the corridor widened until it led to eleven separate passageways. "Which should we take?" Riku asked.

Before anyone could suggest a route, the floor buckled then began to bounce up and down violently. There were several startled yelps and chaos ensued. In an attempt to escape the lurching floor, there was a mad dash toward the eleven exits. However, as soon as two people entered one of the exits, a gate closed over the entrance, barring entrance for anyone else. Once everyone was in one of the eleven entrances, the floor stopped shaking.

"Ack! What the living crap?!" Xigbar exclaimed, tugging at the bars futilely.

"It seems the purpose of this was to split us up." came Zexion's voice, echoing from the corridor he was trapped in.

"What do we do now?" Demyx asked.

"We simply continue on and hope we met up later." Zexion replied, and his footsteps could be heard getting farther and farther away.

"Good luck everyone!" Sora cheered.

The castaways were split up as follows: Sora and Vexen (Vexen: Noooo!), Zexion and Axel, Riku and Marluxia, Demyx and Xaldin, Cid and Aerith, Xigbar and Leon, Merlin and Yuffie, Kairi and Xemnas, Larxene and Lexaeus, and finally, Luxord and Saix.

"Aren't we lucky to have some quality bonding time?" A cheery Sora asked a not so cheery Vexen.

The Nobody groaned. "Just shut up, will you?"

Seemingly impervious to Vexen's bad mood, Sora grinned and began reminiscing. "Do you remember that time when we went looking for food together and I got lost? It seemed like one minute you were there, and the next, you were gone! (I suspect nargles). Then, when I went looking for you, I almost fell into a pit of poisonous snakes! But luckily, I spotted you behind a nearby tree with a shovel and turned away from the pit just in time! Gee Vexen, you're such a good friend. I could have died out there!"

"What a shame." Vexen muttered sarcastically.

"Hey--do you wanna sing some friendship songs? I know a few like, Swinging in the Sunset of our Playhouse, and Dancing Through Meadows of Marigolds." Sora beamed at the man.

"For the last time, shut up!" Vexen roared, turning on the boy.

Sora put his finger to his lip innocently. "Those are some awful big teeth you have there, mister."

In response, Vexen simply walked up to the wall and began banging his head. Sora watched on in confusion.

Meanwhile, Cloud and Sephiroth (both spotting a few lumps as proof of their fight) had reached the eleven separate passage entrances, ten of which were gated shut where their comrades had gone through. They both stared at the remaining door silently, coming to the same conclusion. Sephiroth, though, was the one to say it aloud.

"It seems we are to enter that last corridor as a team."

Cloud's eye twitched, mentally cursing his fate. And the two walked in through the door. At least, they tried to walk through the door; before entering they got into another scuffle, this time over who would be the first to go inside.

With Demyx and Xaldin…"Hey look! An exit!" Demyx shouted in excitement and began to run toward the light (No 'don't run into the light' jokes here--sorry). As he emerged, the felt his foot sink into the ground, then get propelled upward. He was so startled at loosing solid footing, that he lost his balance and fell forward.

Xaldin wordlessly followed Demyx out and tested the ground more cautiously than his teammate. Finding it bouncy, he bounced a little bit and murmured, "Bouncy." with a small, creepy-looking smile.

Demyx scrambled to his feet and examined the floor. "A trampoline?" he pondered aloud.

The corridor had opened up into a forest, only the eleven passageways were still separated by cage bars that extended to the top of the canopy of the trees. The entire floor was one large trampoline.

"Woho!" Demyx looked around for the source of the exclamation and spotted Sora, who had obviously discovered the bouncy floor, jumping up and down and gaining altitude with each leap.

"Quit shaking the floor you nimrod!" Vexen yelled, clinging to the bars on the side in order to keep himself upright.

In another lane, Axel had also discovered the joys of the trampoline floor and was calling excitedly to Zexion. "Come on and join me! It's fun!" Zexion stared at the floor, perched on the last few inches of solid ground there was, eye twitching as he no doubt imagined how foolish he would look hopping around on a trampoline. In the end, though, his stony will and need to leave the island gave him the strength to step onto the trampoline.

"What kind of challenge forces us to bounce on a trampoline like children?" Saix growled in frustration as he lost shreds of his manly-hood.

"Sora! Riku called out in alarm, running up to the bars that separated his and Sora's lanes. "Don't jump so much! In case you haven't noticed, this trampoline is above a crocodile infested river!"

"Hahaha! Fear us!" laughed the crocodiles.

"Let's quit wasting time and get going." Leon reminded the group as he leapt ahead.

Following his lead, the rest of the castaways bounced toward the net that awaited at the end of the lane. Axel was the first to land on the net. Looking around, he spotted the rope he was supposed to use to climb down. So, getting to work, he made his way down to a small platform about two stories down. The platform was situated a few inches above the river and next to it was a small duck-shaped paddle boat.

As Kairi worked her way down her own rope, she complained, "Ow! I'm getting rope burn!".

"You're gettin' rape burn?" Cid asked in confusion, having misheard her.

"Kairi's getting date raped?!" Sora yelped, also having misheard. Turning toward her waiting partner, he scolded, "Xemnas, you're a bad, bad man!"

"What?!" Xemnas cried indignantly as he prepared to follow Kairi down the rope. Suddenly, every single one of the ropes broke off, stranding one person from each of the ten pairs on the net above.

"What the--how are we supposed to get down?!" Yuffie cried in panic.

"Jump into my arms!" Merlin called to her.

"You sure I won't break your back?" the girl called back uncertainly.

"No, but it's worth a shot!" Merlin replied.

"Okay." Yuffie steadied herself, took aim and jumped. Merlin caught her, but then the both of them collapsed in a heap on the small platform.

"Ow…" the old wizard grumbled. "I think I broke my ankle."

Yuffie scrambled off of him and began frantically apologizing. "I'll have to carry you." she concluded decisively.

The other pairs had watched Yuffie and Merlin, and came to the same conclusion that they had.

"Catch me!" Larxene commanded of Lexaeus as she leapt and landed without a hitch in the Nobody's muscled arms. The rest of the pairs leapt down to join their partners and proceeded to climb into the duck-shaped paddle boats. The only person left to make the jump was Zexion.

"Come on Zexy!" Axel called impatiently, "We're gonna get left behind!"

Zexion merely looked down in disdain at the thought of Axel catching him bridal-style. "Are you sure there isn't enough room for me to land on my feet?" he asked.

Axel sighed, then tried a more reassuring approach. "Just jump into my arms--you'll be as safe as if you were in you own mother's arms."

"My mother was a drug addict." Zexion retorted.

"Okay, bad example. You'll be as safe as if you were in your dad's arms."

"My father was a mafia boss."

"Er--your aunt's arms?"

"She was a babysitter."

"Good! Then pretend I'm your aunt!" Axel insisted.

"Then she became a serial killer." Zexion finished.

Axel's eye twitched. "Damn it Zexion, just jump!"

Zexion resigned himself and jumped into the pyro's arms safely. As the two were climbing into the paddle boat, Axel commented, "Y'know Zexion? You really have one messed up family."

Zexion nodded. "I am well aware of that."

Meanwhile, with Cloud and Sephiroth…the pair had finally emerged from the tunnel and into the trampoline cage field.

"What kind of crap is this?!" Sephiroth demanded, glaring at the bouncy floor.

"Only a real man jumps on trampolines." Cloud taunted as he jumped ahead. (AN: Not true, but I can't think of any better banter at the moment).

"Well what does that make you? Racist?" Sephiroth countered.

"That doesn't even make any sense!" Cloud shouted as, once again, the two got into another fight. Unfortunately for them, the floor couldn't put up with the abuse and it ripped open, plunging the two into the crocodile infested waters below.

At the moment, Larxene and Lexaeus were leading the pack of paddle boats traveling down the river.

"Hey, do you guys hear that roaring sound?" Riku asked.

"Axel, let's start looking for somewhere to dock--fast." Zexion instructed seriously, having been struck with realization.

"What's going on?" Kairi asked in alarm.

"Holy mother of biscuits! It's a waterfall!" Demyx screamed. There was, in fact, a large waterfall up ahead, and the castaways were heading straight for it and picking up speed.

"Look! There's a platform up ahead!" Xemnas pointed out as he and Kairi began to steer towards it.

"There's nowhere to dock!" Kairi moaned.

"We'll just have to jump as we pass by and hope we don't miss." Xemnas concluded grimly. As the doomed little duck boat approached the large platform, Kairi and Xemnas jumped and landed successfully. Larxene and Lexaeus weren't quiet so fortunate; their puny paddle boat had already passed the platform by.

"Paddle, damn it, paddle!" Larxene screeched, sounding panicked as they got closer and closer to the waterfall's edge. "I-won't-go-down-like-this!" she punctuated each word with an extra strong paddle. It turned out that their efforts were in vain and the boat tumbled backward. "Not this waaaaaay!" were the last words out of the woman's mouth before she tumbled out of sight (Lexaeus had no last words--he was seen sucking his thumb).

The rest of the castaways had successfully made it to the platform and watched as their boats were carried away with the falling water.

"Where do you suppose we go from here?" Luxord asked no on in particular. As if in answer to the gambler's question, a series of platforms rose out of the water, leading to shore.

"That was pretty convenient." Luxord amended and they began jumping from platform to platform.

"Merlin…you know, for an old man you're pretty heavy." Yuffie grunted as she completed another landing.

"Yeah yeah, just make sure you hold on to me tightly." the old man said nonchalantly.

"Oo-oo-ee-ee!" bellowed a man wearing nothing but a loincloth. He rode by them, using a hippo as a surfboard.

"Tarzan!" Sora exclaimed in surprise. "What are you doing here?!"

"Sora? How do you know this…man?" Kairi asked suspiciously, dissecting the ape-man's questionable appearance.

"I met him about a year ago and we had this crazy party with his girlfriend and some gorillas."

Kairi's expression twisted to one of horror as she no doubt imagined all sorts of disturbing things. Grabbing Sora by the shoulders and shaking him, she sobbed, "My poor innocent Sora hath been defiled! Oh, my love!"

"Get your mind out of the gutter Kairi. I'm sure he didn't do anything too crazy." Riku admonished.

Kairi sniffed then took a look at Sora's clueless expression. "Oh, Riku, you're right. He's still the same old angel." she mumbled as she hugged the Keyblade Master.

"Oh, get a room!" Xemnas yelled.

"Shut up! Just because you're jealous doesn't mean you have to ruin the mood." Kairi said scathingly.

Tarzan waved his arms around wildly, shouting more gorilla nonsense.

"What's that Tarzan? Timmy fell into the well?!" Sora gasped. Tarzan smacked his forehead in frustration at not being understood. Suddenly, his hippo blew a tire and careened out of control before crashing into a large rock, exploding on contact.

"It was nice seeing you again!" Sora waved in the direction of the plume of smoke.

"How can someone be so…" Leon trailed off with a sigh, massaging the bridge of his nose.

"We've got a problem guys." Demyx announced. The water between the last platform and dry land was crowded with hungry looking crocodiles.

"You guys look like you could use some help!" exclaimed a random old lady from the shore.

"Yes! That would be so lovely!" Aerith replied.

"Alright! Just you wait right there and I'll--oof!" the woman had turned to leave and caught her foot on a root, resulting in her doing a faceplant on the ground. "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" she blubbered.

"YOU were supposed to help US!" Vexen retorted angrily.

"It looks like we'll have to save ourselves." Marluxia said, biting his fingernails nervously.

"Yuffie. Why don't you try once more to summon some donuts to distract the crocodiles with?" Saix suggested.

"I'm pretty sure crocodiles don't eat--" Yuffie began.

"Just do it." the blue haired man glared at her.

"Meep! Alright, alright." she squeaked, intimidated. The girl set Merlin down gently and gathered her concentration for a repeat performance. "Oh great donut deity in the sky! Rain down upon us you donut children!" Magical clouds appeared and amazingly enough, actual donuts began to fall. Yuffie blinked, then jumped up in a cheer. "Yeah! I did it! I finally managed to summon donuts!"

The plopping of donuts in the water attracted the attention of the crocodiles and they swam toward the pastries. With the reptiles distracted, the group managed to make their way across the land. Behind them, the crocodiles spat the donuts out in disgust.

"These are filled with broccoli custard!" one of them roared.

"Hehe, oops. Guess I'm still not up to snuff. Sorry about that!" Yuffie called apologetically as they ran away from the river bank and back into the jungle.

"Ugh, I'm getting sunburn." Luxord complained as they followed the path uphill.

"Rub mud on your skin." Marluxia advised (sporting a mud mask of his own). "It'll cool down your skin and also make it much smoother."

"Uh…no. I think I'll keep my dignity."

"Dignity's got nothing to do with it." Marluxia frowned.

"So says the flower man." Luxord muttered under his breath. Marluxia opened his mouth to make a comeback, but a small object crashed into his face, hitting him between his eyebrows.

"Owie!" he cried, clutching his forehead. "What the heck was that?"

Stooping down, Riku picked up the object that was the perpetrator of the attack and examined it. "It's…it's a bouncy ball?"

"Oh sweet mother of corn flakes!" Xigbar shouted as small cannons emerged from the trees around them.

"Run!" Xemnas squealed as he zoomed away. The cannons began to rapidly fire the small rubber bouncy balls at the defenseless castaways.

"Don't we have anything in our arsenal that could help us?" Luxord demanded.

"No, we don't have anything!" Demyx cried, searching through his pockets and tossing out stacks of pokemon cards.

There were numerous yelps of pain from the group as they fled the scene and were struck with the rubber balls. Xaldin, who had been running in front of Demyx, was suddenly struck on the head with several of the ricocheting balls at once, and lost consciousness. Demyx stopped, uneasy. "We can't just leave him like this, guys!"

"Yes we can!" Cid said as he ran past without stopping to help. Demyx pouted, then hauled Xigbar over his shoulders with a grunt before following the others.

"There's shelter over there!" Axel shouted, seeing a door through the haze of rubber.

"Why do I have the feeling that wherever that door leads isn't good?" Vexen muttered, wincing as one of the rubber balls struck his arm.

"I'm willing to take my chances." Axel replied, dodging a few balls and throwing the door open, running inside for cover.

"Wait for me!" Sora called, following the redhead. Faced with the choice between being battered by bouncy balls or taking shelter inside a doorway leading to the unknown, the castaways chose the former option. Cid was the last one inside and he slammed the door shut behind him. They spent a few minutes tending to their bruises, then started walking down the corridor.

Eventually, they entered a giant chamber, with the exit on the opposite side of the room. Behind them, the corridor they had come through suddenly sealed itself shut with a beep.

"I've got a bad feeling." Kairi murmured with a sense of foreboding. A feminine mechanized voice emanated from a speaker at the top of the chamber. "Activating anti-gravity chamber protocol 0102: Weightless mode initiation in 3, 2, 1." At the end of the countdown, the gravity of the chamber was reduced, and everyone was lifted off of the ground like balloons.

"Whee! I'm an astronaut!" Sora called to Riku and Kairi as he spun past them in the air.

"This is so cool!" Axel laughed, spinning around and bouncing off of the ceiling. The artificial voice began talking again.

"Activating anti-gravity chamber protocol 0103: vice grip capture claws--initiate." From the walls around them, several huge steel claws emerged and headed for the defenseless castaways. Demyx squealed as one of the claws turned its attention to him and the still unconscious Xaldin. It grabbed on to Xaldin, but Demyx managed to wriggle himself free.

The group was swimming through the air, trying to reach the exit on the other side, when from out of nowhere, five people dressed in colored full body suits appeared.

"Maroon ranger!" announced the red one.

"Moss ranger!" exclaimed the green one.

"Aqua ranger!" said the blue one.

"Marigold ranger!" announced the yellow one.

"Bubblegum ranger!" declared the pink one.

"Together we fight the evils of the universe!" they shouted in unison, striking a cheesy pose.

"Dude! It's the Power Rangers!" Xigbar said in disbelief.

"Incorrect, my good friend! We are the mighty Rainbow Warriors!" the maroon ranger revealed dramatically.

"Pshaw, they're just cheap Power Ranger knock-offs." Xemnas scoffed dismissively.

"Knock-off or not, we will fight to protect the innocent!" the Bubblegum ranger cried.

Just then, a claw latched onto all five of the warriors at once, effectively incapacitating them.

"It looks like we weren't able to prevent the spread of evil." the Marigold ranger sighed sadly.

"But we still look good." the Moss ranger added, flexing his free arm and admiring his (fake) biceps.

"You guys are completely useless." Vexen scoffed as he passed them.

Despite their best efforts to escape the claws, the castaways were being captured one by one: first Saix, then Cid, and even Kairi.

"Don't worry about me; just keep going without me!" the girl shouted overdramatically.

"Alrighty then!" Sora replied with a wave as he continued toward the exit.

"I wasn't being serious, you dolt." Kairi muttered under her breath.

"Aaah! Move faster! One of the claws is coming right at us!" Merlin hollered. The ninja girl looked around and saw the claw in question, closing in on her and the wizard on her back. "Let go of me!" Merlin commanded of the girl. Yuffie complied.

"Do you have a plan to get us out of this?" Yuffie asked.

"Yep." the old man said. He grabbed the girl and threw her straight at the claw. "You be the decoy and I'll get away!" Merlin began to swim away through the air.

"Hey! Your' ankle wasn't broken!" Yuffie cried indignantly as the claw close around her. "And did I mention that I don't like this plan?!"

As they approached the exit, Axel shouted, "Someone's gotta open the door!"

"I'll do it!" Luxord volunteered. He grabbed on to a surprised Vexen and used the scientist as a kickoff, propelling himself forward and sending Vexen backward at the same time.

"Show some frikin' respect for your elders!" Vexen shouted menacingly. Then he was captured by one of the steel claws. "Damn it. Why does this stuff always happen to me?!" Vexen cursed.

Luxord reached the door and managed to get it open. He was then promptly grabbed by one of the claws. "Oh bugger." he sighed as the rest of his fellow castaways passed him by on their way out the door.

"Thanks for that!" Axel called as he shut the door.

"No problem." Luxord muttered sarcastically.

Once the door was shut, the anti-gravity generator shut off and the remaining castaways fell to the floor with a thud.

"I don't know about you guys, but I am really sick of all these doors." Xigbar confided.

"Are you kidding? This is more fun than a box of instant noodles!" Sora grinned.

"It looks like you're going to have to go through one more door." Zexion said as they came to yet another door (this one was decorated with some fearsome rainbows and unicorns).

Xemnas opened the door and they were met with yet another fork in the road, this time guarded by a woman smoking a cigarette.

"Yikes! A cancer stick!" Sora exclaimed as he swatted the cigarette out of her hand.

The woman looked surprised, but recovered quick enough. "There are two challenges that lay ahead of you--" she pointed to the two different paths behind her. "The right path leads to the classroom challenge, while the path on the left leads to the karaoke challenge. Both paths lead up to the same destination, you merely have a choice as how you want to get there.

"I wanna go karaoke!" Sora exclaimed, heading to the left path. The people who decided to follow Sora into the karaoke challenge were: Demyx, Leon, Aerith, Axel, and Xigbar. Riku Zexion, Marluxia, Xemnas and Merlin were left to take the classroom challenge.

"See ya later!" Axel waved to the others as they walked to the left.

"Let's go." Zexion took the lead down the opposite path and ended up in a small, quaint classroom.

"Please take your seats." the teacher said pleasantly. "Ansem?! You're out teacher?" Marluxia yelped in surprise.

The old man nodded. "Yep. Imogene is heading up the karaoke challenge and I'm leading this one."

Getting over their surprise, everyone sat down and Ansem passed out test papers and pencils. "This will be a test on various subjects including quantum physics, the anatomy of sheep, and how long the average person can listen to paparazzi stories about Brittany Spears without going insane." (AN: If you don't know who Brittany Spears is…you lucky bastard).

"What happens if we don't pass the test?" Riku asked.

Ansem grinned evilly. "Well, if destiny dictates that you loose this challenge, you will be faced with your worst fear..."

Marluxia squealed and clutched at his hair. "Not male pattern baldness!"

"Quit freaking out. I was talking about detention." Ansem rolled his eyes.

Marluxia chuckled nervously, letting go of his hair. "Hehe, I knew that."

"The test will begin in 60 seconds." Ansem announced, pressing a button on a little timer. Everyone sat waiting anxiously in silence for the buzzer to go off. After roughly 30 seconds of silence, Ansem got fed up with waiting. "Oh to hell with this shit! Ready set, begin the test!"

The sound of flipping papers and scrambling pencils filled the room for the next 20 minutes until finally, Ansem announced the end of the test. As he sat grading papers at the front desk, the group talked amongst themselves about how they thought they did on the test.

"I'm almost positive I missed the one about toothpick related accidents." Marluxia lamented.

"But what about that one that asked how to perform a proper exorcism? How was I suppose to know that?!" Xemnas asked.

"The test results are in." Ansem announced, shuffling the papers and putting down his pen (which was labeled destiny, of course). "And everyone passed with the exception of one person." The castaways each crossed their fingers and hoped that it wasn't them. "Marluxia, I'm afraid you have to stay for detention."

Marluxia gulped. Ansem stood up and walked to the pink haired Nobody. "Come with me please." he said.

Marluxia stood up meekly and followed Ansem through a door labeled detention. "Good luck, guys!" Marluxia said all teary-eyed as he walked through the doorway. Ansem pointed to another door in the classroom behind the teacher's desk. "Take that door and you'll come out near the exit." he said, then closed the door behind him.

"The exit?! Where?!" Xemnas exclaimed, already halfway through the door. The rest of the group ran after him, through the dimly lit tunnel. From up ahead, another door burst open and the rest of the castaways from the karaoke challenge burst out, coughing due to a cloud of smoke that was spilling out of the corridor they had come from.

"Sora? What happened in there?" Riku asked in concern, noting the terrified expression on the younger boy's face. Sora turned a tortured look toward his friend.

"D-don't make me relive it!" he sobbed.

"What happened to Xigbar, Leon and Aerith?" Zexion asked.

"They lost the challenge." Demyx whispered.

"What are you waiting for?! The exit!" Xemnas reminded them impatiently.

"That's right! Imogene said we were almost there." Axel remembered. Faced with their approaching freedom, the castaways got excited and began running again.

"I see the exit!" Riku yelled happily. As they approached the large door labeled 'exit--this time for realz', a random juggler appeared out of nowhere.

"Halt! I am your last challenge! You must fight me in order to pass!" he declared, as he juggled some cans of tomato juice. "Consider your luck gone, for you will never prevail over m--" he was thrown aside by a crazed Xemnas and fell unconscious as one of the cans of tomato juice hit him over the head. The castaways left the oppressive steel corridor and back out into the jungle.

"We're free!" Sora and Axel shouted in triumph.

"Excuse me, but none of you are free until someone claims the prize money." Imogene called from a platform some distance away. In a cage next to her stood all of the contestants who had been left behind on the obstacle course.

"No! They can't have my prize money!" Larxene insisted, trying to chew through the bars of the cage in order to reach the trophy.

"Give it up." Kairi sighed. Reminded of the objective of the challenge, the joyful atmosphere among the remaining castaways was replaced with a desire to win the money.

"You guys won't mind if I take the money, right?" Axel asked as he began to walk to the platform where the trophy of victory stood waiting for someone to claim it.

"I think that I should be the one to win since I'm your superior." Xemnas reminded the redhead.

"How about none of you win?" Merlin interjected as he raised his wand and everyone froze in place due to one of the magician's spells.

Still able to move his mouth, Riku shouted, "What gives?"

Merlin chuckled. "In case you forgot, I'm a Disney character myself. Why would I let you foil our plot to take over Square Enix?"

"So you've been a double agent all this time?" Zexion asserted coldly.

"But of course." Merlin began walking toward the finish line and no one could do anything to stop him.

"You mean…he's been tricking us?" Sora sniffed.

"Yeah. If he wins the challenge, we'll never leave. This really sucks! " Axel yelled vehemently.

Sora sniffed a couple more times then began to cry. Loudly.

"Argh! Will you shut up?!" Merlin screamed, covering his ears. The spell holding the castaways broke along with Merlin's concentration and without hesitation, they charged the old man, beating him to a pulp.

"Damn it! Merlin failed!" Imogene cursed, then looked to Ansem for directions. He sighed.

"It looks like we've lost--we'll have to send them home."

"Aw well, it was fun while it lasted." Imogene shrugged.

While the two hosts were conferring, the group had made it to the platform and were fighting over the trophy.

"Um…how long are we going to wait till we tell them that isn't the real trophy?" Ansem asked his co-host

Imogene grinned in a feral manor. "Oh, just a few more minutes." After Imogene had had enough of watching the blood bath in front of her, she cleared her throat. "Guys? The real trophy is right next to Demyx."

Everyone froze and looked next to the Melodious Nocturne. There, sitting on a little platform, was a small Ansem bobble-head trophy. Demyx snatched the trophy up quickly and held it above his head triumphantly. "I won!" he cried disbelievingly. The losers all kicked the ground in frustration.

"Congratulations, Demyx, you've won the title of Survivor: Malaguapu Island Champion, along with this." Ansem handed a check to Demyx, who took it joyfully.

"Woopie! I've won…75 cents?" he looked up in confusion. "Are you sure this is the right check? I thought the prize was 1 million."

"Well, that's a funny story. You see, the prize was one million, unfortunately, Imogene used all of that money in order to construct that huge optical course." Ansem explained.

Imogene chuckled. "Sorry about that."

Demyx hung his head. "At least I won." he tried to console himself.

Ansem pulled a key out of his pocket and unlocked the cage with the other half of the group of castaways inside. As they walked out, Axel approached them.

"What happened to you two?" he asked Cloud and Sephiroth, already over his defeat. The two were covered in bruises; bite marks from what looked like crocodile teeth were scattered over their visible skin; their clothes were ripped, tattered and sopping wet. All in all, they looked like a complete mess.

"Don't ask." they seethed, refusing to look at each other.

"When do we get to go home?" Riku asked the hosts eagerly.

"There's a dock a couple of minutes from here--you can rent a boat from there." Imogene replied.

And so, the newly liberated castaways made their way to the dock where they found a rend-a-boat station. (Demyx sighed at seeing the tool boot that read: 1 boat rental, 75 cents.)

"Looks like our adventure is finally over." Kairi breathed, as she stood on the deck of the boat with Sora and Riku.

"It feels so unreal." Riku added blissfully.

"I'm gonna miss the island." Sora admitted, wiping away a tear. "We had such great times there."

"Speak for yourself." Riku scoffed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. The silver haired teen blinked and took his hand out of his pocket, pulling out Ansem's destiny flashlight. "Hmph. Guess if forgot to give this back to Ansem. Oh well." he shrugged, tossing the flashlight into the ocean. Before it hit the water, however, a dolphin leapt out of the water and caught it in its mouth. Riku stared after it in bewilderment. "What the…" he shook his head, reprimanding himself. "No, never mind, I don't even want to know. I've had enough random to last me a lifetime."

Back on the island, Ansem was waiting on the shore line when a dolphin holding his destiny flashlight in its mouth came into view and tossed it back to the man. He caught it and held it to his chest with a smile. "Never doubt the power of Destiny, my friends."

"Are you talking to yourself again?" Imogene asked.

Ansem turned around. "Oh, it's you. What's up?"

"The new batch is here." the girl grinned.

"Really?" Ansem asked in amusement. Behind them, a group of people were waking up on the beach.

"Mama mia, where am I?" Mario asked Princess Peach, who was sitting up beside him. (Nintendo characters, if you've been living under a rock) Bowser was there as well and he began throwing a tantrum. "Mario! I will keel you and take all of the power stars for myself!" he roared.

The green clad Link stepped between them and held up a hand, clearly meaning for them not to fight (why he didn't just say it, I have no idea).

Imogene stepped up, hardly able to contain herself any longer. "Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to Survivor: Malaguapu Island…"

Fin...

That's it. It's done, finished. That feels good to say.

I want to say that I was conflicted over how to end the story. Though I like how it turned out, my alternate ending for those of you who are interested would have been...The castaways are on their boat ride home when suddenly, the captain orders them to evacuate to the lifeboats. They do so and the ship blows up as soon as they are safely away. As they are bobbing around in the water, a speed boat drives by and Ashton Kutcher pops out, yelling that they've been punked. Then he leaves them without any means to get home aside from their own paddles.

That ending would truly have sucked for them.

Now, a special thanks to those of you who gave me inspiration/ideas: (There were probably more, but I don't have their names)

pshhnerdmuch Choco rush Axeltheomegawriter Kee Blayd

Firestorm Studios Mikoto-cat Queen Egg 79

Much lurve to ya all sends virtual flowers.

Sadly, I probably won't be updating any long-term stories for a while, but I don't intend to stay gone forever. So hopefully, I'll see you all again sometime!

May Sora and all his friends stay in your thoughts forever,

This has been,

Princess of Oblivion