Author's note: I'm back!!! With another Addisex/ddex (who else?) fic fresh from my overdriven mind. I wrote this while I was supposedly doing my thesis… So forgive the grammatical errors, and let me know what you think. This is from Alex POV. Then the middle part of this fic is Alex telling you (readers) his side of the story…

Read and review guys… If I get at least 3-5 reviews I'll probably post the next chapter by tonight. So for now… tata

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing.

I know I made a mistake. And I regret it. I regretted it the moment I saw a tear fell from her eyes. I hurt her. Plain and simple. Hurtful and unreasonable. Unlikely, yet somehow inevitable. I don't even know why and how it happened --- That's a lie. Ok… so I did know how and especially why it happened.

Want me to tell you? Want me to tell you what the hell happened that made me drink two bottles of whiskey and currently making my way to another shot of vodka? Alright then let me start from the very beginning.

The beginning of my end.

The beginning of our end.

I fell for her. I tried to ignore it, but there are some things in life that is just out of my control. And this is a classic example that tests the limits of my control. As I was saying, I fell for her. Hard and fast. But I never push. I waited for her. Hell, I've practically pined for her. She's the first girl – no woman that makes me forget my principles. My 'relationships are for the weak minded' principle. She made me change my opinions. Of her. Of her field. She changed me.

You're wondering who? 'Can't you guess?

It's Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery.

That bitch! She destroyed me. I'm as more damage than I ever was. ALL BECAUSE OF HER. Of her half smile directed at me. The way "Karev" passes on he lips. It's sensual, slowly caressing her way into my heart. Her green eyes that can make any guy's knees go weak. The air of elegance that always seems to surround her every move. Need I say more?

She's the first woman I've truly come across with. All of the estrogen filled creature in this hospital, heck, in this world looks like a girl compared to her. It's not because she's perfect. No, it's not. Far from it actually. Her life is a complete mess. The reason why she's damaged. But whose not damage this days anyways?

"You're a good guy, Alex"

Aah there it was. The melting of the ice. This is where the hostilities between us disappears. Filled with a new kind of tension, none of us is willing to explore. Or so I thought. The near kiss in the NICU is proof enough that she wants me. Normally, I grab this weakness from whoever is offering (of the female population of course). But, now with her. I did things differently. Instead of kissing her, I apologized o her! I've become such a pussy. God. I knew hanging out with O'Malley has adverse side effects. Damn. But that completely caught me off guard. Seems like Dr. Montgomery wants her own little intern, did she? Next time, I will not lose another opportunity like that again. If there is a next time?

The answer came as we met "accidentally" at Joe's after O'Malley's father died. With her already at the bar, and I suddenly, quickly but still acting nonchalant grab a sit besides her. Do any of you thinks it's a mere coincidence? I think not.

This is it! She's kissing me. I'm kissing her back. It felt good. Better than what I've expected. Sweet, slow, unlike of my many other experiences. Sensual. The best word to describe our kiss. The best word to describe her. And then it was over. We smiled at each other and in that moment, with us sitting at Joe's with people surrounding us, we knew that if the feeling of our kiss were always like that, then we're in for the ride of our lives.

How right was that statement. Ride of our lives. Well, no road was rougher than our lives. And this is just the beginning of our road. Don't judge yet. I admitted that I made a mistake. But two takes to tango.

Or in our case, let's just say I'm no the only one who made a mistake.