Rose: You're sad...

Rina: Betrail does that to you...

Rose: Today's the anniversary...

Rina: I no...

No spellcheck, read and review if you want to, honest opinons welcome, i don't own beyblade.

Julia's P.O.V...

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Can't you hold me just a little longer?

It's been three years today my love. Even after all that time has passed, I still miss you so. I wish you could see our little boy, Gou, he's getting so big, so smart, so curious. He's so much like you were...

Can you see him growing?

He went to pre-school to the first time today. Mariah took him, so he and Rin could face this new world together. I watched him walk hand-in-hand with his pink-haired friend into this strange place that was all too new for him, and saw that determined look on his face. The one you passed on to him.

Am I doing well with him?

Gou came running home after lunch full of life and laughing. He still held Rin's little hand tightly, and begged for me to let her stay all night. I can never say no to that face.

Is he happy?

They're asleep now. How peaceful they look laying side-by-side, snoozing the night away... Like nothing in the world could tear them apart. He's clutching the teddybear you bought for the baby before it was born. He loves it so much.

Will he be okay without a father?

Three years... It's true, time really does keep on going. Seasons change, technology advances, children grow older, and so do I. I took Gou to see you yesterday, it was his first time to a graveyard. Naturally, he asked so many questions. 'Why's dere wocks stickin' up outta de ground mommy? Why's dere fowers by de wocks? What'sa dwaveyard? Dere's peoples undew de ground? Why mommy? Dids dey gets tuwned into moles?'

On and on the questions went as our little boy trotted along beside me. 'Mes too big mommy!' He exclaimed when I tried to carry him, so he held my hand instead. We stopped at the foot of your grave. Our little boy looked up at me expectantly. I simply sank to my knees beside him and let the flowers drop from my hand.

Are you watching us now?

'Mommy?' Gou asked, his crimson orbs stared at me questioningly. 'Why'd wes stopped 'ere?' I didn't answer him, I couldn't, not at first. The tears had blinded my visit so he was only a tiny blurr at my side. 'No mommy!' He cried, higging my arm tightly. 'No cwying! Pwease no cwying!'

'I'm sorry baby.' I managed hoarsely, hugging him back. 'I'm so sorry...'

'Why mommy?' He wondered, his eyes still on my tear-stained face. 'Why yous sowwy?'

'I couldn't save your daddy...'

Do you see how much it hurts?

He studied the headstone before us tentively, curiously, then turned his attention back to me. His little face looked so serious. 'Is daddy 'ere?'

I managed to nod, and ran my fingers along the grass. 'He's right here hunny.'

Gou placed both his hands along side mine. 'Daddy's in de ground?'

Do you feel the pain we feel?

'His body is.' I answered truthfully.

He blinked thoughtfully for a moment with that serious look still on his tiny face, then gazed straight into my eyes and asked. 'Is daddy a mole?'

I couldn't help but chuckle at his question, even throught my tears. I knew you would've done the same in my place, no matter how much it hurt.

Do you miss us like we do you?

'No sweetheart.' I repsonded, shaking my head. 'He's not a mole.'

Gou nodded as if in agreement. 'Mommy... why's daddy in de ground?'

Am I raising him right?

Fresh tears ran down my cheeks as I gathered him into my arms. 'He had to leave us hunny.'

He looked up at me sadly. 'Why mommy? Don't daddy luvs us?'

Will I ever see you again?

'Your daddy loves us both very much baby.' I reassured him, hugging him tighter to my chest. 'He just couldn't stay with us any more.'

He looked at me again, and I could instantly tell he didn't understand. The lack of his father as he grew was going to take a hard toll on him. But, there was nothing I could do. I had one great love in my life, and he was gone. There would never be another I could love like I do you.

Will you ever meet our little boy?

I'm watching them sleep now. Rin cuddles closer to him without even realising what she's doing.

It's been the hardest three years of my life. Loosing you, giving birth to Gou without you by my side, raising him on my own... sometimes I wonder if the struggles are really worth it.

Are you proud of me? Of him?

But all I have to do is take one look at the little bubble of life we created together and somehow I know...

Everything is going to be okay...

You're memory is all I need Kai, just your memory... and our son...

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nothing really to say...

just review if you want to...

dong-chun-mei