Author's Note: I fancy writing something with a little romance in it…but since it'd probably suck more than my usual fics – I'll write this instead…I haven't decided where it's going or who I want to pair but I'm always up for suggestions (as my regular reviewers know) It could be long considering how much I've written for the first chapter – and it may take a while to update 'cos I'm still writing Voodoo Child. House!hurt as per usual (I'm a one trick pony…) Enjoy…

Pain woke him hours before his alarm ever could; which was pretty unsurprising. The location of the pain however, now that was different; it was a sharp, stabbing pain in his rib cage and a pounding headache. House groaned as he cracked an eye open to survey the damage; he was relieved to find himself in his bed, albeit in a peculiar position. He winced as he twisted on the bed to reach his vicodin; 'what the hell happened last night?' he thought as he dry swallowed a couple of pills with difficulty.

'Jesus', he remembered getting up to pee for about the fifth time at 3am and, in a drunken stumble, being harshly assaulted by his coffee table. Thus causing him to land half on the table and half on the floor; obviously the right hand side of his body wasn't too happy about falling behind the left and wasn't shy about letting him know now, 'ouch'.

He made a mental note not to drink then fall asleep on the couch; although the note would almost certainly be scrapped when the next weekend came by. He waited a couple of minutes for the vicodin to dull the pain before he gingerly turned over to a more bearable sleeping position…

House managed to gain another 30 minutes of snoozing before he was rudely awoken by his cell; he let it go for a few more ring cycles. 'Must be life threatening…' he thought lazily as he ignored it for a few more rings; the cell refused to be ignored and whoever was calling was more persistent than House thought possible. He groaned and reached over, accidentally knocking the offending phone onto the floor; cursing as he let his arm drop over the edge of the bed to fetch the offending item he pressed the first button he came to and pressed the cell as close to his ear as he dared with a splitting headache.

"What?" He mumbled, the word almost becoming lost in the pillow as he stayed in his face down position.

"Good morning to you too" came the innocent tones of Cuddy, "get up, get dressed and get in here - now!" House groaned but didn't have time to argue before she continued, "it's not a request House; it's an order."

"I love it when you're domineering…" House mumbled into the pillow again.

"Foreman's taken a sick day, Chase and Cameron are in – I know it's your day off…but we need you here, on time, today."

House waited a while before replying, he thought about drifting back off to sleep; it was his weekend off, he was hung-over and didn't really want to leave his warm haven.

"House?" Cuddy said, she was beginning to think that she could hear him snoring on the other end of the line.

"Pick me up in ten." He growled softly.

"You have a bike, use it – and don't be late" -dial tone. Cuddy didn't leave much room for discussion or arguments – smart woman.

"Not even a 'drive safe' or 'thank you'" he grumbled to himself as he slid out of bed; he did need to stay in Cuddy good books, especially since he needed two weeks off soon, 'maybe I can get away with a nap in my office' he thought as he yawned deeply.

He limped to the bathroom, grabbing the sink as another jolt of pain went through his ribs; maybe being at the hospital would work to his advantage, he could get Wilson to sneak him in for an x ray…Of course he'd have to make up some elaborate story about how his sadistic hooker beat him up; how could he resist the opportunity to get his friend to roll his eyes and sigh in exasperation – the joys of his screwed up friendship.

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'Oh God, this is gonna hurt like hell' he thought as he stood over his bike. It was hard enough getting dressed without too much upper body movement; he was up to his limit on vicodin and it wasn't even 9am yet! He could hear his pager calling to him from his bag, he dragged it out and scowled at it; 'You'd better be on your way right now' and it didn't even say 'love Cuddy' – what a disappointment.

He eventually pulled into the parking garage at PPTH, thankful that it seemed fairly empty; the last thing he needed right now was for someone to watch him pathetically attempting to dismount his bike – on three…one, two…three!

He swore angrily as he dropped his cane, and cursed even louder as he bent down to retrieve it. As he straightened back up, Wilson was standing over him looking shocked, and at the same time, bemused; "You're early…and here on your day off…and you look awful."

"Can't you just say hello like everybody else?" House asked, attempting to glare but failing miserably when his leg got tired of holding him up in the cold for too long; it forced him to shift his weight, squeezing his eyes shut when his ribs joined in the mini protest.

Wilson watched the development with a little more concern, clearing his throat but still managing to sound worried; "Err, you okay?"

"Yes…no – I don't know…just hung-over" House mumbled, clearly uncomfortable with the pity that Wilson was doing a poor job of concealing. He about faced and limped agonisingly slowly towards the building; Wilson took this as his cue to follow and to ask more specific questions.

"Does your leg hurt?"

"No, it miraculously healed overnight; I've just popped in to return my cane and vicodin" House scowled as they reached the elevator. He looked to Wilson who stood, arms crossed, waiting for House to get to the real reason as to why he was hunched over his cane looking like an old aged pensioner in gale force winds.

House sighed in mock defeat as they entered the empty elevator; "I decided to try a late night sky diving session last night – but forgot to open my chute…I'm suing Jack Daniels"

Wilson smirked, "What injuries are you claiming compensation for Dr House? Let me remind you that you are under oath" he drawled in his best southern lawyer accent. If talking in code was the only way to get the truth, then that's what had to be done.

"Bruised ribs" House said quietly, refusing to make eye contact with Wilson and pretending to be engrossed in the elevator control panel instead. Wilson refused to let up with his stare, forcing House to continue…"Okay…severely bruised ribs…maybe fractured a couple?" beat "three broken."

Wilson stared in disbelief, "and you're just walking around like that?"

"Patient is on a high dose of painkillers Dr Wilson." House stated as he escaped from the elevator, not even waiting for the doors to fully open.

He limped into the conference room, silently praying that Cameron had made some fresh coffee; she had, and both she and Chase were nowhere to be seen – even better. Cuddy must have warned them that he was coming in; 'Good old Cuddy' he thought as he struggled over to his office, coffee in hand. He managed to make it to his desk without spilling too much of the boiling liquid, this earned his mug a small triumphant smile as he set it down in front of him.

"Wilson, if you're gonna stand in the doorway and stare at me all day then at least talk to me – you're not on safari."

Wilson entered and sat himself opposite House; he was bursting to say something and it was already annoying the hell out of his friend who leaned back in his chair carefully and braced himself... "You're either here because you're not too worried about whether your ribs are broken…" Wilson cocked his head as he observed House pretending to look busy by looking intently at an old man's hip x ray. "Or, you're in more pain than you're letting on and you figure that being in a hospital is the best place for you." He saw House flinch slightly at his second theory; Wilson leaned back in his chair, a smug look crossing his features, knowing that he had House figured.

"Your theory has a flaw…" House wiped the smug look off of Wilson's face, "If I was ill, this is the last place I'd come to – I wouldn't trust the doctor's here with a packet of band aids...maybe I came in because Cuddy asked me to" he stage whispered the last part, as if he was afraid she'd find out that he had actually obeyed an order.

Wilson smiled knowingly, which annoyed House no end, and stood up to leave. "I'll schedule you for an x ray at lunch" he stated as he reached the door, not bothering to wait for a reply before he left.

House sighed, grimacing slightly as he pulled his jacket off and threw it down beside him; he didn't fancy an unnecessary trip to the coat stand right now, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his vicodin, just double checking that there were enough of the white pills to last him the day.

He was still examining them when his ears pricked up to the sound of Cuddy's heels in the corridor; he downed his coffee and painfully reached around to grab a shirt from the back of his chair as Cuddy entered, smiling warmly.

"Thanks for coming in on such short notice…what?" Cuddy paused, taking in the look of horror on House's face.

"Well…you're smiling…and you just said thanks – all in the space of 10 seconds. It's a lot to take in."

"Shut up." She said as she slapped him on the shoulder with the file she had been carrying; she arched one eyebrow when he flinched and hissed at the action. "What's wrong now?"

"I'm a sensitive soul and you're just so rough with me" he whined pitifully, "sometimes it's nice I'll admit-"

"Whatever – just get down to the clinic and cover a few hours…whatever you do today, you can book double for it, okay?" Cuddy ignored the open mouthed stare that House was currently sporting, "C'mon – some time today would be nice…" she added as she watched House gingerly pulling his shirt on. "Okay…now I know why you're always late for work." She muttered, noting how slowly House was getting fully dressed; she put it down to the fact that he didn't have to be here and because he'd do anything to try to annoy her.

"Don't you have other people to be sexually harassing right now?" he asked, conscious of the fact that she seemed to be watching his every move.

"Not today, why'd you think I asked you to come in" Cuddy said, smiling as she ushered him out of the office; she couldn't believe how easy it had been to get House to work on a Saturday; she even took no notice of the fact that he looked hung-over, just putting it down to the fact that he usually spent his Friday nights out on the town.

She ignored his pained gait and didn't question his apparent stalling for time by walking at a snails pace down to the clinic; she walked him right up to the doors of the clinic and practically skipped off to her office. He could see that she was on cloud nine today; he was here, in the clinic, on his day off – even though he looked and felt like he could collapse at any moment…

He informed the nurses that he would be in exam room 1, he would send the patients out with their own damn files and he wanted at least a ten minute gap before the next patient was sent in. The nurses rolled their eyes and grumbled quietly; he didn't care, he just wanted to get in the room and take the weight off of his leg which definitely didn't appreciate being ignored today.

He lowered himself onto the stool in the sanctuary of the exam room and let out a shaky sigh whilst trying to get comfortable. He hoped that he'd be able to fly through the first two hours without physically examining anyone; he even considered just making up illnesses for each patient as they walked in and maybe he'd get lucky and diagnose them within seconds.

Normally that would be completely feasible, but today he was distracted by the grating feeling in his ribs when he took a breath – 'damn, they're broken for sure.' He thought as he waited in between patients. After the eighth patient he felt absolutely homicidal, the next patient was gonna get some serious, incurable ailment…

There was a sharp knock at the door before Cameron poked her head inside; "House – need you to look at some test results."

"Hmmph." Was the only reply she got as he held his hand out for the results.

"Are you okay?" Cameron asked as she watched House shakily hold the results out to read them clearly. "You look sick."

"Good job I'm in a hospital then isn't it? Lots of doctors standing around doing nothing." He looked pointedly at Cameron as if he'd just had a brainwave. "Close the door, I need an examination-"

"House I don't have time to play games-" Cameron said as she backed towards the door; the fact that he smelt faintly of whiskey was concerning enough.

"Sure you do, I need your help…please." 'Good - that shut her up but it does kinda make me sound desperate and begging' he thought as he watched her expression go from one of horror to curiosity. She took her hand off the doorknob as he gingerly stripped.

"Whoa! What are you doing?" Cameron yelped as she averted her eyes away from her stripping boss – 'he's finally lost it…oh my God, oh my God!' she thought as she quickly turned to face the door.

"Err, unless you can tell me which one's are broken from there, I suggest you get over here and start acting like a doctor, not a 12 year old girl." House said, amused at how embarrassed she was right now.

She sighed angrily, turning slowly with a scowl on her face until she saw the colourful bruising he was sporting on his torso. "Jesus House, what happened?" She moved over to where he was still sat on the small stool and hesitated before him. "This is going to hurt – are you sure you want me to do it?"

"Relax, I'm not gonna bite…I'd rather you did this than Wilson, he's about as gentle as…I can't think of a non sexual simile right now" he stated as he closed his eyes, trying not to focus on the fact that Cameron looked like she was about to jump him.

He flinched involuntarily as she started clinically pressing his ribs, looking for a break; he was alarmed to find that, even through the pain, he was almost enjoying this gentle contact. 'No way, not happening…Think cold showers, STD's, Foreman in Cuddy's tennis outfit – anything!' his mind raced.

He cracked an eye open when he felt her pull away to reach for her stethoscope; she warmed it between her hands before pressing it gently over his chest. 'Wonder if all her patients get this special treatment?' he asked himself silently as he watched her intently.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door which made them both jump; House hissed as the action took its toll on his battered body. "With a patient." He said loudly, but in a slightly strained tone of voice.

"House, if you actually think you can fool me with that excuse, again-" Cuddy was cut off as she walked in to see House facing away from her, shirtless and hunched over on his stool with Cameron opposite him, stethoscope in her ears, looking very much the deer caught in the headlights of an approaching juggernaught.

"He has 3 breaks, possible internal bleeding – he needs an x ray to be sure." Cameron rallied off in a petrified, yet professional manner.

"So much for doctor, patient confidentiality" House muttered whilst looking accusingly at Cameron, who was planning her escape. "Dr Cuddy, I don't believe I asked for a second opinion – so please leave." He didn't turn around but he heard the sound of the door clicking closed and was aware that Cuddy and her clickity high heels were still in the room. 'Oh great'

"Thank you Dr Cameron, you can go." Cuddy said as she walked over to see House for herself; she had her whole lecture on office politics planned out, now with an extra paragraph added for taking advantage of fellows in clinic exam rooms.

Cameron leapt up and bee-lined it towards the door before sheepishly returning to get her test results; after she had scurried out for the second time, Cuddy turned her attention back to House.

He was busy watching his young employee leave; 'she must have been enjoying it too; all that sexual tension – her head might have exploded or something!' he thought, grinning to himself. He chuckled as he imagined what Cameron was going to say to other's if they ever found out; chuckling, however, was more painful than it was worth and so he groaned, forgetting about Cuddy who was glaring at him expectantly.

"What happened? Did you get into a fight?" She asked in a tone of voice that seriously grated on his headache, causing him to groan again. "When did this happen?" she continued, pointing to his magnificent bruises.

"Last night…or possibly this morning – I forget." He said, feigning innocence as he leant over to grab his t shirt – it wasn't exactly the warmest exam room in the hospital and having his boss checking him out as his nipples stood to attention was hardly doing it for him.

The problem now was that he was hunched over and he wasn't looking forward to trying to sit up straight; he could feel something tugging on his ribs, 'maybe the flirting with Cameron idea had been a bad one…'

"You could have told me – I'm not that much of an ogre that I'd make you work clinic with broken ribs!" she said dramatically as she observed him hunched over, breathing shallow and rapid; unable to even put his t shirt on.

"Didn't know anything was broken, it was masked by the vicodin – didn't start hurting 'till now…" House said forcibly smirking as Cuddy frowned at him, "don't worry – I'm sure I'll live."

Cuddy kneeled beside him, putting an arm up to stop him from trying to put the t shirt on; it was too painful to even watch. She leant past him to grab a BP cuff and monitor from the corner of the room; he seemed to be slightly stunned when she invaded his personal space so freely.

"I take it Cameron didn't get this far into her examination?" Cuddy asked as she strapped the cuff around his upper arm. She looked up at him, expecting some smart ass quip…nothing, just a minute shake of the head; he looked pale and clammy – but his breathing seemed to have even out a little.

House was desperately trying to keep his breathing in order; his lungs were screaming at him for more air but he couldn't comply without panting – he wouldn't want Cuddy to think that he was getting excited because she was touching him, that would just be weird…wouldn't it?

"House?" Cuddy said for the third time; House seemed to be stuck in a world of his own and was either ignoring her, or something was up. "House!" His vacant stare turned into confusion as he snapped out of the trance, almost toppling off of the stool. He was saved by Cuddy's lightening reactions as she stuck her hands on his shoulder's and pushed him back; unfortunately, a nurse decided to walk in at that moment and witness what she assumed was a 'private moment' between the most gossiped about couple in the hospital. She squealed a short "Sorry!" before turning on her heel and slamming the door behind her; off to spread the word about what she'd just stumbled into…