When Mister Turns A Miss

Chapter One: Mister

9:00 a.m.

Kenshin woke up early in his posh apartment in Manhattan, New York and took a hot shower. He hadn't slept much…well that was every night. And it wasn't usually work that kept him up. Kenshin peeped from the bathroom into the bedroom and saw the skimpy blonde lying naked on the down feather bed barely covered by the bright white silk duvet. Kenshin sighed. His assistant would take care of her. She was just a one-night fling, a quick deposit for his hunger for wanton sex and pleasure. Nothing more. Strictly business, to him.

Sad to say, he couldn't even remember her name.

Kenshin pulled out his blackberry and sent a quick email to his assistant, Sanosuke Sagara, to "clean up" up last night's "mess'. He then checked his planner as he put on a crisp black suit over a light teal dress shirt and a teal silk tie with dark blue emblems stitched on in an crisp orderly fashion. He had an appointment with long time business partner, Aoishi Shinomori at 12 noon in order to update each other on their branches of Seiichiro Enterprises.

Kenshin stepped out of his apartment and entered the elevator of his building. As soon as the doors opened at ground floor, his assistant was there with a cup of coffee in hand for him.

"Good morning, Kenshin. Is there some stuff I need to clean up in your room?"

"Yeah, Sano. She was okay…definitely had better. But anyways, enough about my night life, what's my agenda for today besides my meeting with Mr. Shinomori?"

"Just a meeting with Mr. Hiko at 11 this morning and a staff meeting at 5. Also I wanted to say…"

"What a babe!" Kenshin said appreciatively to a tall brunette who passed by. She turned around and gave a disdainful glare at him and stalked off.

"Kenshin, you really should show women more respect, man. Honestly, you treat them like children treat brand new toys. You court them with roses and promises of a long love life and then you bed them and throw them away. You should just," Sano started but Kenshin held up a hand and finished his statement.

"Mind your own business, Sano. Just because you can't land a girl, don't reprimand me." Kenshin said simply and left Sano at the doors of the elevator.

Kenshin had no doubt that Sano would take care of the bimbo in his bedroom probably with some cash and a few sympathetic tears. Even though Sano had an extremely soft side, he still was one of his two best friends. The other was Aoishi Shinomori.

Kenshin entered the office building and was immediately greeted by the sight of numerous beautiful women in short business skirts. He gave each one of them an appreciative look, most already had made love to him so there wasn't much he hadn't seen. He was disturbed by a loud grunt from behind him. Kenshin turned and there stood a giant of a handsome man, Mr. Hiko, with a strong face and long sleek black hair. His boss.

"Kenshin, you are an idiot. I know you've slept with almost all these women yet you still stare at them like a pervert. You're a good person but you really should marry someone. Maybe, your friend Kaoru Kamiya. She's nice and pretty. Plus she can teach you some manners"

"You're the boss of my work not my love life so lay off, Seiichiro."

"I'm the boss of both if your love life continues to disrupt the peace here. Anyways, come to my office. We have to talk about some clients that want to buy some major shares in our stock, and they want you to send someone to consult them."

After the meeting, Kenshin immediately assigned a few trusted people on the task and made his way to lunch with Aoishi. When he entered the posh restaurant and was seated at a table waiting for Aoishi, he saw the blonde he had made love to the night before. She was a waitress here and wore a cute black dress that hugged every curve but when she saw him, she threw him an evil glare and went into the kitchen haughtily. Kenshin couldn't have cared less.

"Still checking out girls, Kenshin?" said a cool voice behind him. Aoishi arrived and sat down opposite of Kenshin, pulling up a menu and started to look at the items.

"Whatever man. Anyways, what's up? How's your side holding up?"

"Going great. I hear our overall stock went up 3 points since yesterday. How about your end?"

"Got a few clients ready to pay some big bucks in our stock. I think I'll get them. And then Hiko gave me a long ass rant about me getting a girl. I don't need one. They'll just nag me and get in the way of my work."

Aoishi leaned forward, lowering his menu so he could look straight into Kenshin's bright purple eyes.

"Look, you are one of the smartest men I have ever known, my childhood buddy and an overall nice guy. But when it comes to girls, you just treat them like second-class. Why don't you start talking to Kaoru again? I know she refused to go to bed with you, smart girl in my opinion. She has a good head and you know her a lot better than the usual bimbos you bring home."

"You sound just like Hiko. He said the same thing. Listen, Kaoru is an idiot. I actually sort of liked her but she pushed me off. I won't go to her again for attention, no matter how rich she is or how powerfully she is. Are you done? Now let's order our food and catch up since last week."

The waitress that arrived was the same girl Kenshin had slept with. And she couldn't look anymore unhappy. She smiled at Aoishi in a friendly way, but when Kenshin ordered, she snapped her pencil writing the order so hard on her notepad and her nostrils were flared the entire time she took his order.

After the drinks and food arrived, Kenshin and Aoishi continued to chat about various business deals and transactions and random office gossip.

After a couple of hours, Kenshin and Aoishi said their goodbyes and made their way back to their separate office buildings. As soon as they parted, Kenshin started to feel nauseous and the world began to spin rapidly. Kenshin grabbed a nearby pole to steady himself and felt his body quake and he fell to his knees, clutching his stomach. Why is this happening? I was fine this morning…morning… And then it hit him. The girl he had slept with…she had served him drinks. Could it be possible she poisoned him? His stomach gave a lurch and he threw up on the sidewalk. He heard people rustle past him but a few stopped and asked him if he was all right. He heard a loud shout and when he raised his eyes from the sidewalk, he saw Aoishi saying something to him, but Kenshin couldn't understand. His ears didn't seem to working anymore let alone his body. He started to grow numb with pain and anger so much that he didn't even feel his body collapse and the side of his face fall flat on the rough sidewalk.

Kenshin tried to open his eyes but for some reason they wouldn't even budge. He heard mumbles of a conversation and he managed to squint his eyes open a fraction. He saw Aoishi and a man in his 40s talking in grave voices through his eye lashes. Kenshin managed to grasp a few words of their conversation.

"Still unconscious…blood sugar and other vitals normal so far…but unexplained secretion of estrogen from…keep him over night and watch over him…hopefully back to normal tomorrow."

Kenshin felt relieved. Okay, so I'm not dead…but estrogen? I thought that was only in females…well that's all I can remember from my biology class in college…

The mumbling stopped and a door clicked shut. He felt a large comforting hand on his arm.

"Kenshin, if you can hear me. Please be alright. If you don't, then I'll lose one of my few best friends…let alone one of my few friends. Pull through this. I have to go back to work and inform Hiko of your status. I'll send Sagara over. Seeya later."

When Kenshin heard the door shut, he opened his eyes fully and was relieved that the world was no longer spinning. He looked around and saw an IV connected to a vein on his upper left arm. Numerous patches covered his head and bare chest, catching his brain activity, breathing, heartbeat, and other vitals.

The room was sterile white and empty. Thin white linen came up to his midriff and he wore a slight hospital gown. He wasn't going to die. That's good news at least.

Kenshin heard the door open, disrupting him from his thoughts and saw Sano barrel through the door, his long brown hair on end like always however this time it seemed to reflect his emotions.

"Kenshin!! Thank god you're alright! Damn that Shinomori! He made it sound like you would die at any minute. How are you feeling?"

"Better," Kenshin said in a low gruff voice unlike his own which startled him.

"Well good. I'm here to take care of you. Just rest some okay?" Sano immediately plopped himself down on the plush chair by the bed and grabbed a magazine from a nearby rack.

For some reason, as soon as Sano said those words, Kenshin felt his eyes droop suddenly and a wave of weariness washed over him.

He fell into a blissful sleep until he awoke suddenly, a painfully burning in his chest. He jolted up and saw a note on his bed sheet but no Sano.

"Kenshin, went out to eat for a few minutes. I'll be right back. –Sano"

The idiot, leaving me for his bottomless pit of a stomach. Kenshin suddenly felt the pain attack again, this time around the groin region. Kenshin glanced at the monitor and saw that his vitals were still moving at a steady pace. Kenshin was shocked; he felt like his innards were being wrenched out and these stupid machines weren't showing anything!?

Kenshin got up, pulled out the IV and yanked off the patches on him and staggered hurriedly out of the room to the nearby bathroom. He felt a draft hit his behind, reminding him that his backside was bear and open but he didn't care for dignity at the moment. He was hoping a quick bathroom visit would help rid the pain.

But as soon as he entered the bathroom, he felt his body quake. He hurried into a stall but then felt his body start to shiver and sweat. His mind was going blank again. He felt his body collapse and he fainted as soon as the cool tile touched his skin.

"Young lady? Are you alright? This is a men's bathroom, sweetie," said a kind elderly voice above Kenshin.

Wait a second…young lady?

Kenshin raised his head slowly and looked up. An old man with a walker was looking down kindly at him.

"Are you alright, miss? The girl's bathroom is the next door, sweeitie."

Oh great, I pass out in a bathroom, and almost butt-naked in front of a delusional old man. Let me just get back to my room.

Kenshin got up and smiled sympathetically at the old man, and the old man smiled back and made his way to a stall. But as Kenshin was about to exit out of the bathroom, he stopped abruptly when he caught his reflection on the long mirror. It can't be…

Kenshin brought his hands slowly up to his chest, his eyes never leaving the mirror and gave a little squeeze. They were real! I have boobs? HUGE ones!

Kenshin felt non-pulsed as his eyes traveled down his body in the mirror and saw not only a nice rack, but also a slim waist, a nicely shaped bottom, and slim finely sculpted legs. This had to be a trick…maybe those crazy mirrors at circuses or something…

Kenshin took a deep breath and finally took his eyes off his reflection and glanced down at his body. He let out a yelp, a higher pitched yelp than he had expected. Not only had his body changed but his voice had too!

He ran out of the bathroom, and grabbed the nearest person, a middle aged nurse with a kind face.

"What am I?" Kenshin yelled frantically in the nurse's face, shaking her as he spoke.

The nurse looked startled for a few moments and then smiled in a motherly fashion.

"Why dear, you are a sweet beautiful young woman."

-Kish