Chapter 8: Monster Collectors
[In case you've been living under a rock for this fic, you'd know that our little motely crew is still wandering in Anime-Land.]
Cait: Soooo! Who are we gonna kill today?
Tifa: [frowns] You don't have to say that...
Sephiroth: Face it, we're cold-blodded killers.
Shera: Now that's streching it a bit far...
Vincent: Well, we have killed the casts of seven different shows.
Cloud: One was a game...
Author: Get on with it already!
[Suddenly, a little white cat-looking creature runs into the group's view.]
Tifa: Not another one of those!
Red: Looks tasty though...
Cid: You gotta be kidding me...
[The thing takes one look at them and runs away. So the group follows it. It runs to a clearing in the forest, where there are two kids and a guy.]
Aeris: Are we going to kill them too?
[A giant bird swoops down and eats Aeris in one gulp.]
Author: Anyone else wanna spoil the ending??
[Everyone shakes their heads.]
Author: Good. Carry on...
[By now, the new group has noticed our heroes. They come over to investigate.]
Girl: Hello?
Boy: Who are you?
Cloud: We're from Final Fantasy 7. I'm Cloud, the leader-
Yuffie: [cuts him off] We're just wandering around, that's all. ^^
Boy: Oh. I'm Mondo.
Girl: And I'm Rockna. [points to the guy] And this is my dad, who's name escapes me now.
Sephiroth: You don't know your father's name??
Rockna: For some reason, I can't remember it.
Author: That's because I can't...
Mondo: Who said that???
Author: Oh, crap!
Shera: Uh...I'm a ventrilloquist...?
R.'s Dad: That's interesting. Say, have you guys seen a Monster Item around here?
Cid: What the #%$& is a Montser Item??
Vincent: [frowns] I think this guy looks familiar...
Yuffie: [pulls out a Materia orb] Is this one?
Mondo: Could be.
Rockna: Can we have it?
Yuffie: Hell no.
R.'s Dad: What?! If that's a Monster Item, we need to have it! Give it up!
Tifa: She said no.
Red: Don't make us do something we'll regret.
Sephiroth: [whispers] Please make us do something we'll regret...Please make us do something we'll regret...
Vincent: [jumps, surprised] That's who he is! HOJO!!!!!!!
Everyone: [stops] What????
Vincent: [ducks behind Cid and Sephiroth] It's Hojo! Hide me!!
Shera: Actually, he does look a lot like Hojo...
[Cid stabs Rockna's Dad through his forehead with his spear (a la Midaruchi doujinshi...).]
Mondo: Wow.
Rockna: Dad!
R.'s Dad: [bleeding profusely] That was...unexpected...[dies].
Vincent: Yay!
Sephiroth: [pouts] I wanted ta do it...
Tifa: [rolls her eyes] And so it begins...
Mondo: [turns to Rockna] Don't worry! I'll get these guys for killing your dad!
Rockna: You'd do that?
[Shoujo manga sparkles and bubbles fill the screen. Both their eyes go all teary.]
Mondo: You bet I would...
Rockna: Oh Mondo...
[Sephiroth, still pouting, takes Masamune to Mondo.]
Rockna: o.O
Cloud: Feel better?
Sephiroth: Yes, actually.
Cait: Well, we might as well get rid of the last one...
Rockna: That's it! You're toast!
[She summons a monster. It's a Lemming.]
Rockna: Oh crap. Just one of them??
Lemming: ^^ Squeek!
Shera: [accidentally steps on it] Oops. My bad?
Rockna: [-.-o] I'm doomed.
Cait: Got that right.
[His Moogle eats her whole.]
Yuffie: [smirks] Now there's a new one...
Tifa: Well, we wrapped that one up quicker than normal.
Author: Who said you were done?
Vincent: But...everyone's dead...
Author: Says you.
[As if on cue, three more enter the clearing. Two girls and a guy.]
Red: Just great...
Author: These are the normal villians. The purple-haired girl is Gluko, the redhead is Batch, and the weird guy is Eccentro. Kill them quickly. I have an appointment to keep.
Shera: That was odd.
Cloud: [stares at Gluko] She's cute...
Tifa: [thrashes Cloud with a tree] Give it a rest Spiky...
Cid: [sighs] I'll take care of it.
[He lights a stick of dynamite and hands it to Gluko.]
Gluko: Ooh, thanks.
[Dynamite go boom. Batch and Eccentro die. Gluko flies away with the impact. Anyone who has watched this show knows that she never gets hurt.]
Author: It was quick, I'll give you that.
Cid: Fun too.
Vincent: [looks around] Let's just go, before soemone finds the bodies...
Cloud: [still crushed under the tree] A little help here?
[The group moves on, ignoring Cloud's pleas.]
Cloud: Well, at least I'm alive...
Author: Not on my watch, Spike-Boy.
[Lightning hits the tree, even though it's grounded.]
Cloud: I...hate...this...fic...[dies.]
Notes: This is how I prepare for a erligious holiday...I am so going to hell. happy Easter
minna-san! Still waiting for couple votes. This might have gotten better, but I gotta go now.
~KCSS
[In case you've been living under a rock for this fic, you'd know that our little motely crew is still wandering in Anime-Land.]
Cait: Soooo! Who are we gonna kill today?
Tifa: [frowns] You don't have to say that...
Sephiroth: Face it, we're cold-blodded killers.
Shera: Now that's streching it a bit far...
Vincent: Well, we have killed the casts of seven different shows.
Cloud: One was a game...
Author: Get on with it already!
[Suddenly, a little white cat-looking creature runs into the group's view.]
Tifa: Not another one of those!
Red: Looks tasty though...
Cid: You gotta be kidding me...
[The thing takes one look at them and runs away. So the group follows it. It runs to a clearing in the forest, where there are two kids and a guy.]
Aeris: Are we going to kill them too?
[A giant bird swoops down and eats Aeris in one gulp.]
Author: Anyone else wanna spoil the ending??
[Everyone shakes their heads.]
Author: Good. Carry on...
[By now, the new group has noticed our heroes. They come over to investigate.]
Girl: Hello?
Boy: Who are you?
Cloud: We're from Final Fantasy 7. I'm Cloud, the leader-
Yuffie: [cuts him off] We're just wandering around, that's all. ^^
Boy: Oh. I'm Mondo.
Girl: And I'm Rockna. [points to the guy] And this is my dad, who's name escapes me now.
Sephiroth: You don't know your father's name??
Rockna: For some reason, I can't remember it.
Author: That's because I can't...
Mondo: Who said that???
Author: Oh, crap!
Shera: Uh...I'm a ventrilloquist...?
R.'s Dad: That's interesting. Say, have you guys seen a Monster Item around here?
Cid: What the #%$& is a Montser Item??
Vincent: [frowns] I think this guy looks familiar...
Yuffie: [pulls out a Materia orb] Is this one?
Mondo: Could be.
Rockna: Can we have it?
Yuffie: Hell no.
R.'s Dad: What?! If that's a Monster Item, we need to have it! Give it up!
Tifa: She said no.
Red: Don't make us do something we'll regret.
Sephiroth: [whispers] Please make us do something we'll regret...Please make us do something we'll regret...
Vincent: [jumps, surprised] That's who he is! HOJO!!!!!!!
Everyone: [stops] What????
Vincent: [ducks behind Cid and Sephiroth] It's Hojo! Hide me!!
Shera: Actually, he does look a lot like Hojo...
[Cid stabs Rockna's Dad through his forehead with his spear (a la Midaruchi doujinshi...).]
Mondo: Wow.
Rockna: Dad!
R.'s Dad: [bleeding profusely] That was...unexpected...[dies].
Vincent: Yay!
Sephiroth: [pouts] I wanted ta do it...
Tifa: [rolls her eyes] And so it begins...
Mondo: [turns to Rockna] Don't worry! I'll get these guys for killing your dad!
Rockna: You'd do that?
[Shoujo manga sparkles and bubbles fill the screen. Both their eyes go all teary.]
Mondo: You bet I would...
Rockna: Oh Mondo...
[Sephiroth, still pouting, takes Masamune to Mondo.]
Rockna: o.O
Cloud: Feel better?
Sephiroth: Yes, actually.
Cait: Well, we might as well get rid of the last one...
Rockna: That's it! You're toast!
[She summons a monster. It's a Lemming.]
Rockna: Oh crap. Just one of them??
Lemming: ^^ Squeek!
Shera: [accidentally steps on it] Oops. My bad?
Rockna: [-.-o] I'm doomed.
Cait: Got that right.
[His Moogle eats her whole.]
Yuffie: [smirks] Now there's a new one...
Tifa: Well, we wrapped that one up quicker than normal.
Author: Who said you were done?
Vincent: But...everyone's dead...
Author: Says you.
[As if on cue, three more enter the clearing. Two girls and a guy.]
Red: Just great...
Author: These are the normal villians. The purple-haired girl is Gluko, the redhead is Batch, and the weird guy is Eccentro. Kill them quickly. I have an appointment to keep.
Shera: That was odd.
Cloud: [stares at Gluko] She's cute...
Tifa: [thrashes Cloud with a tree] Give it a rest Spiky...
Cid: [sighs] I'll take care of it.
[He lights a stick of dynamite and hands it to Gluko.]
Gluko: Ooh, thanks.
[Dynamite go boom. Batch and Eccentro die. Gluko flies away with the impact. Anyone who has watched this show knows that she never gets hurt.]
Author: It was quick, I'll give you that.
Cid: Fun too.
Vincent: [looks around] Let's just go, before soemone finds the bodies...
Cloud: [still crushed under the tree] A little help here?
[The group moves on, ignoring Cloud's pleas.]
Cloud: Well, at least I'm alive...
Author: Not on my watch, Spike-Boy.
[Lightning hits the tree, even though it's grounded.]
Cloud: I...hate...this...fic...[dies.]
Notes: This is how I prepare for a erligious holiday...I am so going to hell. happy Easter
minna-san! Still waiting for couple votes. This might have gotten better, but I gotta go now.
~KCSS