Author's Note: This piece came to me not long after watching the scene between Orihime and Tatsuki just before she went to Soul Society. The simple interaction between the two was amazing and so heartfelt I was inspired. Hopefully, this little ficlet is worth the time I put into it.
Enjoy.
I don't know why you spend so much time worrying over him, it's not like he'll ever return your feelings or anything like that. I doubt it, anyway.
Okay, so I lie. I know what you see in him. It's the determination in his eyes, the conviction in his voice when he's speaking of something which he truly cares about, it's the way that he rarely, if ever, allows anyone to see inside, while at the same time letting everyone know he cares. I get it, because I've been there.
But, you see, I'm not there anymore. At least, not with him. No, because now, I can't get my mind to let go of you. You, with you quirky little antics, your determination to take care of yourself and not let the fact that you live alone destroy you. I'm completely twisted around your little fingers, all because I absolutely adore your smile and ability to look up even with the world coming down around your ears. In rain, snow, hell and high water that smile has never failed to uplift me, your ability to take everything in stride has never let me down, and your innocence in the face of it all has never left you.
Since the day I met you, Orihime, I have made it my life's goal to protect you and that innocence. Funny, how it works out that you are the one who ended up protecting me. Indeed, I feel I have underestimated you. You amaze me, Orihime. You are by far the strongest, most intelligent and beautiful person I know, and even though I rarely flat out say it, I love you. I will always love you, and I hate it.
I hate it because I know you will probably never feel for me what I feel for you, what you feel for him. I hate him, sometimes, you know? I hate him because he has something he may never know he has. Before he was to distracted by the world around him, now he's too distracted by Sado. Big, powerful Sado "Chad" Yasutora. Not very difficult to see why he wants Chad, though, is it?
No… not too difficult at all. It's funny, really, how obvious we all are. Ichi only has eyes for Chad, and the other way around. You swoon only for Ichigo, and I'm all stupid over you.
It probably doesn't help that it seems to me that the three of you have something together that I don't think I can even brush against. Indeed, it seems even Rukia and Ishida are in on it too. What is a girl to do?
I can only hope that one day, maybe, you'll look at me the way you look at him, that you'll see in me something worth loving.
For now, all I can do is be the best at the one thing I know how to do, and hope it'll be good enough for you.
I love you.
Tatsuki.