Sliders, Demons, etc.

Masakazu Shinta

I placed another Othello piece in the corner of the board, where it could not be reversed. Koizumi Itsuki, my opponent, seemed blissfully unaware of the strategic advantage this gave me despite playing this game with me several times. I found it odd that Koizumi could be so bad at every board game in existence despite his ostentatious intelligence and his (I suspected) ability to read minds.

Perhaps there was some ulterior motive in Koizumi's losing streak. Maybe he wanted to throw me off his tail and keep me from realizing that he could actually read minds. Perhaps his plot was as convoluted as Ocean's 12.

Koizumi looked up at me, his mouth shaped in a perfect teen idol smile. "You're suspicious of me."

Aha! So you can read minds.

"No, but I'm quite good at reading facial expressions. I assure you, prying into your private thoughts is not something I'd try to do."

"Here you are," said a soft and perfectly feminine voice. Asahina Mikuru, dressed up in her tight-fitting maid outfit, set a cup of tea down on the table next to me.

"It's a new kind of tea. I hope you like it," she said before retreating to her seat.

Asahina-san, Aphrodite herself would abandon Olympus and its divine ambrosia simply for a sip of tea graced by your hands. Then she would see you and surrender to you her position as the goddess of beauty.

Sitting in the corner reading was the SOS Brigade's resident alien, Nagato Yuki. She sat so still that the most enlightened Buddha would be in awe. Her eyes were fixed on the heavy European book in front of her and not a single muscle (or whatever it was that made her body move) twitched. Some would see her and wonder if she had any awareness of the world around her. But there was no doubt in my mind that she was aware of even the tiniest, most imperceptible detail in this room and beyond it.

And spaced out in front of the Brigade's stolen and completely unneeded computer was our fearless leader, Suzumiya Haruhi. Every so often she'd take her hand off her mouse and curl her fingers into claws. I think she was trying to learn how to concentrate her spirit energy from a website made by an overzealous Dragonball Z fan. What's sad is that I would not be the least bit surprised if she actually managed it. It was her fault that I was trapped in a world filled with anime clichés coming to life.

Haruhi seemed preoccupied with learning the Kamehameha Wave, so I held strongly to the hope that I would get through this school day without anything weird happening. No giant crickets or glowing blue monsters today, thank you.

My hopes plummeted into the black pit of my gut when I heard a knock at the clubroom door.

The knock seemed to elicit similar reactions from my fellow club members. Asahina-san sat up straight like a startled kitten. Koizumi, hunched over like a ninja waiting in shadow, focused his gaze carefully towards the door. Even Nagato moved her eyes a couple millimeters to the side.

"Wah-hah!" Haruhi leapt over the computer's monitor (she's very athletic) and onto our table. Her shoes clomping loudly on the table, she skipped merrily to the door and pulled it open.

You know how every time you hear about a serial killer, his friends mention how normal and upstanding he was? How he was normal and even charming? But when you see a picture of him, you get a vibe that this guy is messed up? With that in mind, let me say that the boy at the door looked like a serial killer. His skin was pale and eerily smooth. He wore gold-rimmed glasses that added to his whole "wolf in sheep's clothing" look. Yet no father would object to his daughter dating him.

"Welcome to the SOS Brigade!" Haruhi said cheerily. "I'm Brigade Chief Suzumiya Haruhi and these are my subordinates." She waved her hand at us. "Have you encountered something mysterious? Ghosts or UFOs? Or maybe demons that only you can see?"

"No, it's nothing like that." The newcomer stepped into the clubroom, slowly turning his gold-rimmed gaze on each of us. His eyes seemed to linger just a moment longer on me.

…

No, not like that!

He looked at me and smiled to himself, as if I were an element in one of his private jokes.

"My name is Masakazu Shinta. I'd like to apply for membership."

Aaaaaaand the slider has appeared.

Crap.

XXXXX

After Haruhi dismissed us for the day, I followed Masakazu on the way out of school. Once we were in a sufficiently private area, I called out to him. "Yo, Masakazu!"

He turned to me. "Yes? Kyon, right?"

"Actually my name is… forget it. Everyone calls me Kyon anyways."

"So what's up?"

Not in the mood to beat around the bush, I just said it. "You're from another dimension, aren't you."

Masakazu burst out laughing. His teeth were blindingly white. He kept laughing for so long that I felt my face grow hot.

"Hahahahahaha…"

Maybe he wasn't a slider.

"Hahahahahahaha…"

He was probably just some misguided kid who thought that it would be cool to join the mysterious SOS Brigade.

"Hahahahahahaha…"

I felt like an ass.

"Ha ha ha yes."

"What?"

"I'm from another dimension. A 'slider' as Suzumiya-san puts it. I was just laughing at your bluntness. But considering the people you've met, it's to be expected."

So he knew about the others. "So what's your interest in Haruhi?" I asked

"That's my business. Later, Kyon." Masakazu turned and walked away.

Hey! No fair! All the others were perfectly honest about their interest in Haruhi. Come back here! It's time for an info dump, you jerk!

XXXXX

I sat at my desk, puzzling over my homework. Of course, I couldn't concentrate. How could I? There was yet another wild card in my completely messed up life. Koizumi, Nagato, Asahina-san, and now Masakazu. Things are getting out of control.

"KYON!" My little sister shouted my nickname as she threw open my door Haruhi-style and bounced happily into my room. She waved the cordless phone in my face. "Phone call."

I plucked the phone from her grasp and shooed her out of the room. "Hello?"

"Kyon?"

"Masakazu. What's up?"

"Sorry about before," he said in a voice that did not hold a speck of sincerity. "I still can't tell you why I'm so interested in Haruhi, but I can give you the next best thing."

"What's that?"

"Proof that I'm really a slider."

At this point, I didn't really need proof but, "Okay. When?"

"Right now a good time for you?"

"Right now? Wait, where are you?" The line went dead.

A hand clapped on my shoulder. "Right behind you."

"Gaah!" I jumped and tumbled out of my chair. The phone went flying. Masakazu stood over me, looking thoroughly pleased with himself. "H-how did you get in here?"

"For people who perfected inter-dimensional travel, simple teleportation is child's play. It's all based on wormhole technology."

I sensed an info dump coming. It's about time.

"Think of wormholes as tunnels that connect every point in space together and even bridge the gap between dimensions. Wormholes allow you to go from point A to point B without having to travel the distance between them." There was a bit more to it, but that was about all I understood.

He took hold of my wrist. "I'll show you." He helped me up and began to pull me, leading me towards the wall of my bedroom.

Then everything became a blur. My room rushed by me. Looking forward, the only static object I saw was a big red door with a brass knob. Masakazu pulled that door open and led me into a place that resembled an abandoned warehouse. He shut the door behind me.

I looked around at the bare concrete walls. "Is this your world?"

"No, this room is its own dimension, created by the people I work for. It's not a part of any larger dimension. Not yours, mine, or anyone else's."

Before I could ask why anyone would create a place like this at all, I heard the red door open behind me. "This is so weird," said a new but strangely familiar voice.

"What the hell are you doing here?" asked Masakazu.

"I just wanted to stop by and see my counterpart," said the newcomer. I turned to look at him. My jaw fell open.

He looked exactly the same as me.

"Hello, handsome," he greeted me. I responded with confused babble.

"Let me explain," said Masakazu. "Between our two dimensions, everyone has a counterpart. Somewhere in your world, there's another Masakazu Shinta. In my world, there's another you and likely another Suzumiya, Koizumi, and Asahina. Or at least there will be another Asahina."

Masakazu pulled open the red door, revealing my bedroom. Motioning to Bizarro-Kyon, he said, "Get going." The handsome boy headed for my room.

"Hey! You can't go in there," I said. I ran at Bizarro-Kyon, trying to stop him. I barely heard Masakazu's "Wait! Stop!" as I grabbed my doppelganger's arm.

A terrible shock burst from my hand and through my body. The pain was immeasurable. It felt like my entire arm was about to come off. For a moment, my right hand disappeared from my senses. It was as if it had disappeared.

"Idiot!" Masakazu shoved me away. Almost instantly, the pain disappeared and the feeling in my hand returned. "You okay?" he asked Bizarro-Kyon. My inter-dimensional counterpart nodded weakly.

Masakazu turned to me. "Idiot," he said again. "The two of you are opposites."

"What?" Well, excuse me if I'm not well-versed in the intricacies of inter-dimensional quantum physics.

"Let me put it this way. If he's positive one, then you're negative one. Put the two of you together, and you get zero. That's why you can't touch each other. Contact each other for too long and you both cease to exist."

"What's going on?" I yelled at him.

In response, Masakazu put a hand on his gold-rimmed glasses. There was a flash of light that appeared to reflect off his lens. My muscles tensed up and my body froze. My jaw locked up and I was unable to voice my protests.

"Get going, Kyon," Masakazu said to Bizarro-Kyon.

Bizarro-Kyon headed for the door. "Don't call me that. That nickname's stupid."

"Okay…Kyon."

Ha! You may have imprisoned me and taken my place in the world, but at least I got you stuck with a stupid nickname. Take that!

Masakazu shut the door behind Bizarro-Kyon only to open it again, revealing a sparsely furnished apartment that I assumed was the place he was staying. "Later," he said before he shut the big red door, leaving me alone in the concrete room.

Over time, the paralysis faded. Little by little I regained the ability to move. As soon as I could, I trudged towards the door and pulled it open, only to reveal an empty black void beyond the doorframe. I reached through it, only to be blocked by a rippling blue force field, similar to the walls of Haruhi's Closed Spaces. With a resigned sigh, I shut the door.

For an indeterminate amount of time, I wandered about the concrete cell, unsure of what to do. Several times I opened the door, only to be met with the same black void.

What did they want? Why would Bizarro-Kyon want to replace me in my world? It had something to do with Haruhi, there was no doubt about that. But what?

I pondered this question as I wandered about the cell, growing more restless, frustrated, and claustrophobic. I wanted out!

Then, like the long-awaited Second Coming of Christ that the Westerners believe in, I heard my salvation. Someone knocked on the door.

I scrambled up and threw the door open. I saw the whirling chaos of the wormhole, looking like a scrambled picture.

A glowing red blur formed in front of me, taking a vaguely humanoid shape.

"Koizumi?"

"Hurry, Kyon-kun. Jump in. You don't have much time." The red blur faded.

I didn't have to be told twice. I leapt into the wormhole. My journey through it was more violent and unstable than before. I tumbled through the open air as colored blurs spun rapidly around me. Finally, I felt hard, solid ground materialize beneath me and the whirling colors slowed and formed a coherent image. I was in Nagato's apartment.

"Kyon-kun!" A sobbing Asahina-san threw herself on top of me and buried her face in my chest. "You're safe! You're safe!" She hugged me tightly. It was such a sweet, heartbreaking sight that I embraced her back.

I looked up and saw that Asahina was accompanied by Koizumi and Nagato. In the background was a small group of teenagers escorted by stern-faced men in black suits and sunglasses.

Koizumi gently laid a hand on Asahina-san's shoulder and pulled her off of me (curse him!). "Kyon-kun, we know what Masakazu and that other Kyon did to you. Tell us, did you learn anything? Anything about their dimensions."

I told them everything I had heard about wormholes, counterparts, and how two touching counterparts cancel each other out. "But I don't know what they're planning or why they're so interested in Haruhi."

I looked around a the teens and their MIB bodyguards. "Your colleagues?" Koizumi nodded. Apparently, they had helped him break through to the dimension of the concrete room. He nodded to them and they left. They were dismissed.

"You said that when you and the other Kyon touched, you nearly destroyed each other," said Koizumi. I nodded. "And if I touched the other Itsuki, we'd destroy each other too," he said.

"Probably."

"Why should this principle be limited to human bodies?" Koizumi said. He tapped Nagato's wooden table. "Perhaps this table has a counterpart in their dimension and if they touch, they will cease to exist. Perhaps this principle applies to everything in our universe. Every rock, tree, star, and person. Perhaps our two universes are opposites."

"So our two universes may destroy each other?" I said.

"Which would give them motivation to destroy ours first. And if they wanted to do that, I can think of no weapon better than Suzumiya-san. That would explain the other Kyon's actions this past week."

"I've been gone a week?"

"Um, time does not pass at the same rate in dimensions that are not perfect opposites," said Asahina-san.

"Well, what are we going to do about Masakazu and Bizarro-Kyon?" I asked.

"You'll have to decide that very quickly." The door to Nagato's bedroom slid open, revealing Masakazu and Bizarro-Kyon. Masakazu's hand was once again on the frame of his glasses. Bizarro-Kyon, who was empty handed, reached behind his back and pulled out an assault rifle. I realized that the handsome boy had probably pulled it out of a wormhole.

I heard the telltale sound of Nagato's speedy incantations, twisting the universe around us. The windows disappeared and the doors became immovable parts of the walls.

"I have collapsed the wormholes that you used to enter this place," said Nagato. "You have no escape."

Another flash of light issued from Masakazu's glasses but this time, they apparently had no effect. A flash of red light issued from Koizumi's hand. Masakazu's glasses shattered, making his face satisfyingly bloody. Panicking, Bizarro-Kyon opened up with his assault rifle on full auto spraying bullets everywhere. Asahina-san shrieked and threw her arms over her head, cowering from the noise. Nagato chanted a wall of light in front of us. The bullets bounced off it harmlessly.

Clickclickclick. Bizarro-Kyon was out of ammo.

Koizumi became a red streak of light. He shot past them, causing them both to collapse on the ground.

The esper looked down on the two sliders. "You're outmatched," he said with his friendly smile. "I suggest you give up and leave."

"Or what?" gasped Masakazu.

"Neither of you are from this universe," said Koizumi. "Your deaths would go unnoticed."

"You've been defeated," I said. "You can't gain anything more from staying here. Just leave." Turning to Nagato, I said, "Can you make it so that the only wormholes they can use are the ones out of this dimension?"

She nodded. "This place is under my data jurisdiction. Any inter-dimensional travel from this space is under my control."

"This isn't over," said Bizarro-Kyon. As quick as the blink of an eye, the sliders disappeared.

Nagato began chanting again. The windows returned to her apartment and I once again got the feeling that I was connected with the outside world. Bizarro-Kyon's bullets disappeared.

"Are they back in their dimension?" I asked. Nagato gave a quick, curt nod.

"So what has Bizarro-Kyon been up to this past week?" I asked.

Koizumi smacked his fist into his palm, as if remembering something. "That reminds me, you have to get ready for tonight."

What?

Koizumi grinned. "For your date with Suzumiya-san."

What?

XXXXX

As I headed towards the appointed meeting place, I found myself wondering what Bizarro-Kyon's plan actually was. Had he truly intended to get Haruhi to destroy our world? How did this date factor into it all?

Perhaps he planned to build up Haruhi's hopes and get her attached to me, only to pull the rug out from under her with a devastating and heartless breakup. Was that it? Was their master plan just a romantic comedy cliché?

Of course, that plan would require one important thing: that Haruhi be in love with me. That was a possibility that I was definitely not willing to consider. I ended that train of thought right there. This is just a date, I told myself.

Instead, I thought of the sliders, their world, and all the people in it. Despite all that those two subjected me to, I couldn't help but feel a pang of pity for them. All they had wanted to do was protect their world.

I saw Haruhi waiting for me at the movie theater. "One and a half minutes late. Penalty." She lacked her characteristic harshness when she said it. Her tone made me think that she wouldn't actually enforce the penalty. In fact, everything about Haruhi seemed…subdued. As if she had calmed down. And the way she looked at me…

She wouldn't look into my eyes. Her little hand was curled at her chin. Her cheeks were tinged with red. And she had tied her short hair into a ponytail. Oh dear. That Bizarro-Kyon must have been a real charmer.

We saw a sci-fi movie about aliens. It was actually pretty good. Over dinner, Haruhi went on and on about how great the movie was, her plans for the SOS Brigade, her plot bunnies for the next Mikuru movie, and so much else. I could hardly get a word in edgewise.

"Haruhi," I said, making sure my tone was somber and serious.

Haruhi, surprisingly enough, quieted down. "Yeah?"

"Have you ever heard of a situation where there are two good parties yet for one to survive, the other has to be harmed?"

"Wha?" said Haruhi.

"Aren't those situations just terrible? No matter what the outcome, someone who doesn't deserve it will get hurt."

There was a moment of silent introspection as Haruhi contemplated my words. Then she was back to her old self. "Whatever!" She continued on her monologue about the next Mikuru movie, wondering what costumes Asahina-san should be forced into. But that was all right with me. I knew my words had had some kind of effect.

Masakazu, Bizarro-Kyon, I hope that your physicists detect some kind of change that will allow our two worlds to coexist. I hope everything turns out the best for all of us.