Ready for some more insanity? Good...
Durza's Pancakes!
"Hey Eragon, lemmie have a shot on Saphira and I'll give you a pancake!" shouted Durza as he held out a plate stacked with delicious, freshly baked pancakes with syrup trickling down its sides.
"Too many pancakes are bad for you, you know." Replied Eragon smugly. "And that, me thinks, is too many pancakes!"
"TOO MANY PANCKES!" screamed Durza, "THERE IS NO SUCH THING BOY! NOW WASH YOUR FILTHY MOUTH OUT!"
"Wash it out with what?"
"Pancakes!" Durza held the platter higher and the sweet smell of warm and fresh pancake mixture entered Eragon's nostrils. He began to drool slightly and Durza pulled the platter away so quickly that several pancakes made a break for the floor! "HELP!" squealed Durza, trying to catch them but missing! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
SUDDENLY…Murtagh slid along the floor, at a rather rapid pace, and swallowed the pancakes whole before they touched the floor! He sprang to his feet and gave Durza a broad grin.
"You…you ate…"
"I ate the pancakes, yes! Well, salvaged them more like!" Murtagh took a step back at the look of utter ferocity on Durza's face, then he quickly added; "But you still have a handsome amount left, see?"
Durza's snarling face slowly transformed into that of a thankful smile as he turned to admire the wonderful platter that was his pancakes.
However, what he saw when he turned round was not what he had expected. Not what he had expected at all!
"Good morning, Durza!" said Arya brightly as she shoveled all of his wonderful pancakes onto a wicker basket she carried in her arms. "Lovely day. Mind if I take these?" Durza stared at her in disbelief. There was not a single pancake left on his plate!
"Wha…?"
"Well, I best be off! Bye Durza…wait, Durza, what's the matter? You look upset!"
"You…"
"Oh, the pancakes?" She lifted a particularly tiny pancake out of the basket and placed it gently on the plate which still lay in Durza's outstretched hand. Murtagh came over to join them and stared at the pancake, whining slightly. "Awww!" Arya lifted the pancake off the plate and held it up to Murtagh's mouth. He opened his mouth and with one almighty gulp – it was gone!
"ARGH!" Durza crushed the plate and then proceeded to crumple it into a tiny ball which he then threw at Murtagh's head! Murtagh stood there, however, chewing away at the remains of his pancake quite happily.
Arya smiled affectionately at them both. "Boys." She sighed. She lifted the basket o' pancakes and ran away with them, cackling madly as she did so.
"WHA…???" Durza stared after her as she went! "#&?!$+/!"
"Now, now Durza!" scolded Murtagh, waving a finger at him, "Don't be so – what are you doing?"
Durza (manically) laughed under his breath as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a large pancake. He dug in his other pocket and found a handy mini pocket sized bottle of chocolate pancake sauce. "Ahehehehehe."
He had stopped laughing abruptly as Murtagh had stolen the small bottle and swallowed it whole!
"You know," said Durza in a bored voice, "that was made of plastic!"
"Yup! With a yummy chocolately centre!" chimed Murtagh happily, bobbing on the spot slightly.
"Anyway," said Durza, feeling a whole lot more scared than he did at the start of this pointless story! He lifted the pancake slightly and stared at it fondly "At least I still got you panca - HEY"
He looked up and saw, to his horror, Angela running away holding the pancake high in the air! She was shaking it, so bits of pancakey goodness flew everywhere and Murtagh ran after her catching them all in his mouth! Suddenly, Durza saw Murtagh catch up with the herbalist and bite onto the pancake with his teeth. She didn't seem to notice this however, and continued to run with Murtagh having to run after her, still hanging from the pancake!
"Ok," said Durza, "Now I've seen everything. Well, nearly everything! I still haven't seen an elephant tap-dance! Not that I want to, I just haven't seen it happen!" He watched Angela (and Murtagh) disappear into the horizon and slowly walked away. Glancing up he saw Eragon, who seemed to be washing his mouth out with, what Durza could only presume was, a very soapy pancake and some minty fresh toothpaste!
Have we turned you insane yet? R&R plz :-D