Akito would come looking for him soon. After all, it was almost dawn, and when it was finally morning, Akito would want to begin torturing him.
The frost on the windowpanes didn't enchant him as it would any other child. It was just frost, no colder that the Sohma god's heart. He was used to the cold. He liked it, even. It didn't bother him when his hands went numb. He never felt any pain that way. Sometimes, when Akito got angry, he would ache for a while. Then he'd cradle his injuries and pray to any god who would listen to give him the bliss, the relief, of being completely numb.
Sometimes, the little boy wished he was numb on the outside, so that when people were cruel to him, it wouldn't hurt inside. He almost preferred physical pain to the pain of being hurt by someones carelessness.
He could see his breath, now. He didn't care. He realized with a shock that his teeth were chattering. When had that happened? He couldn't remember.
He stopped for a second, to look out at the frozen world. The garden was covered in frost and the pond was covered in ice. The half-light that signalled the beginning of the dawn illuminated the yard, making everything sparkle faintly.
And suddenly, he needed to be out there. Needed to be a part of that frozen world. He wanted to be where nothing could hurt him. He wanted the wonderful numbness to overtake him. He had to be out in a place where Nothing could reach him; nothing could drag him back. He wanted to become as ice. To be numb forever. To melt and fade into nothing.
"Yuki?" came Hatori's voice. "What are you doing out on the porch in such could weather?"
Yuki didn't answer. Instead, he just let Hatori guide him back inside. When the door closed behind them, Yuki finally let himself shed one single tear.
And he wished once again that he were part of the ice.