(Author's Note: See, folks? I told you I was going to update moar!) ;]

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Rising from the bed and sitting himself at its edge, Lord Frieza tried his best to untie the tight knot in his stomach with a few deep breaths; the pink alien's long thick tail twitched at its talon-tip, as it always did when His Majesty was in a deep stat of agitation; Frieza looked down at his unusually formed feet, his six long dexterious toes and curved black talons curling into the soles once or twice, stretching out some kinks that might be irritated from putting on weight during a stand up. Bringing his right hand to his face, Frieza buried it in his white palm in frustration at the painful memories of last night; the alien prince tugged at the mattress and bed sheets with his other hand as the memories came flooding back: his elder brother upon him in the dark, caressing him... taking hold of his tiny body from behind and his penis from underneath... and then the utter pain of his older brother penetrating him in his most sensitive area as Frieza bit down on his pillow... their tails entwined...

With his face still hidden in his hand, Frieza sighed. He quietly shook his head.

How could something so forbidden outside of our race be so pleasing...?

Although it was not unusual for certain alien races to practice such acts as incest, the same could not be said from the mouths of the individuals. Tradition is normally what gives a culture or people their colorful uniqueness, right?

Frieza didn't know the answer, and at his current age, he no longer cared. He sighed again as he lifted his face from his palm and rested his chin in it instead as his red eyes fell to the light blue carpet of the small room; there was no way he would be in a decent mood for the rest of this day, possibly the whole week (which will, no doubt, become a terrible situation for his henchmen and armies-in-training). And with his growing ill temper there came a growing soreness in Lord Frieza's sensitive Second Entrance; it would be hard for him to sit still in his hover throne today, and no doubt his fidgeting would get noticed by his followers, particularly the two loyal men who stood by his sides.

This simply will not do! Not when I have an entire army to train as well as this planet to stock, Frieza thought to himself as he lifted his head and gazed around the room. There must be at least something pain-alieving that Cooler keeps around this spare room of his that I could take... hmm...

Suddenly, Frieza came upon the standard wooden desk that sat left beside the bedroom door; Frieza slowly rose from the bed (trying to ignore the pain growing within his crotch-pouch, and drew open open the top drawer. Among the few pieces of blank paper and some writing utensils, there lay a small metal box with a clip-lock on it. Frieza smirked slightly as he removed the metal box and hid it within his royal purple armor suit before making his way out of his father's now empty ship; luckily, King Cold and his small squadron of burly men had left for some explorations of this "rice field planet", and Cooler of course had sulked off into the neighboring forests to recover from last night's affair with his brother, so Frieza for the moment got the satisfaction of not having to interact to his father or older brother when he left, as well as making a clean getaway with the mysterious metal box in tow.

Meanwhile, back at Lord Cooler's ship:

Zarbon tried to avoid flustering himself as he gathered up his belongings as fast as he could; the heavy rains of the planet had finally seised (at least for now), giving him just enough time to make it back to his Lord Frieza's ship without any of the common soldiers noticing; however, that still left Dodoria, Kiwi, and of course Frieza to contend with. But given the sudden rainstorm, hopefully this and the fact that he was busy gathering an anti-virus computer chip would buy Zarbon enough credibility to not lead anyone on to the recent forbidden bedroom activities shared by him and a certain other pretty boy.

"Salza! Quick! Where is that damned computer chip that you had given be earlier? I need it this instant, mate!" Zarbon looked around the unclean room, knowing it was next to impossible to find a small object underneath all these strewn bed sheets.

"S'zeez, calm down, misure! I 'ave 'eet right 'ere." Salza appeared out of his bathroom holding the chip. "Z'illy 'Aussie! You muz' 't 'ehv left 'eet in z'are when you were 'een such heat laz' night, hahaha."

Zarbon quickly snatched up the chip and stowed it away inside his uniform as he checked himself in the bedroom mirror to see that his hair was alright and his long handsome cape was not too wrinkled. Salza continued to chuckle,

"H'onezly, I don't zee why you are ''zo worried; keep up face, misure, and no one will be able to tell! You think 'zis 'eez 'ze firz't time I 'ad a l'eetle fun with another warlord'z henchman? Ha ha ha!"

Zarbon made a face and sighed. "I really hope your joking about that, mate..."

When he was sure nothing was out of place on himself, Zarbon turned to Salza .

"Now mate. Remember that promise we made to each other last night? The one you had asked me in the first place? You'd have better. For I'm not about to lose my honor or my life for another fellow with a big mouth, you get me? Not a breath of what we did last night must ever leave this living quarter, understand? I'm sworn to keeping my own word, now you'd have better keep yours."

General Zarbon's no-nonsense attitude alone was normally enough to keep every one of Frieza-Sama's soldiers in line, but with this other, perkier General of Cooler standing in front of him, Zarbon found himself talking to a brick wall.

Salza sighed with his hands to his hips as he said, "Zarbon, Zarbon... what makes you z'ink z'at I am not a man of my word? And if I recall correctly, you came on to me first..."

Salza chuckled as he lifted a hand to stroke Zarbon's beautiful facade, but in an instant Zarbon caught it with his own hand and gripped it, his attitude remained unchanged.

"I'm serious, mate."

Now Salza was paying attention, seeing as how even a sexy gesture was not being tolerated here. Nowing he could not break free from Zarbon hold until he gave him what he wanted to hear, Salza finally relented,

"Ok, ok... Misure, you 'ave my word z'at our little rondevouz will remain between you and I; I will tell no one else."

"Good." Said Zarbon, still stone-faced, slowly released Salza's hand; churning his wrist slightly, Salze added with a slight air of haughty quirk,

"... And should ei'zar of our Masters catch wind of our z'ecret, I I will personally throw myself at z'e feet of Emperor Frieza, claiming your rape at my 'andz."

Now it was Zarbon doing the chuckling;

"You molest me? Heh, somehow I don't see anyone buying that one, mate."

Salza glanced out the single round window if his living quarters.

"I'z getting past morning, you'd better go."

"A'y."

There was a sudden moment of silence, where the two high ranking officials just stood staring at each other, unsure of who would move first. Then they both did, in a surprisingly loving embrace and lip-lock. Neither knew how long it would be before they got to be together again, so they might as well get in one last minute of pleasure before returning to their lives of warfare.

By time Salza opened his light brown eyes again, Zarbon had already disappeared.

Meanwhile, back at the spacecraft of Lord Frieza...

Shuffling down the fine-lit hallways of the inner ship like a giant pink penguin, Dodoria was on his way to his master's chambers with nothing more then a simple report of the week's training sessions with the soldiers, as well as an environmental report on how good a profit the planet would bring in, should Frieza decide to cull it and resell it.

When Dodoria finally made it to this master's chambers, he was caught off guard by a rather peculiar oder that seemed to be coming through the tall, sliding metal doors adorned with Frieza's family crest in gold. At first, it smelt like something of vegetation origin, then as he stuck his round nose right up against the door for a better whiff, Dodoria could swear something was burning inside Frieza's bedroom. Standing back with widened eyes and twitching pointed ears, Dodoria punched in a code into the computer security system next to the doors, and within moments they slowly crept open.

Once inside, Dodoria instantly recognized the sillouett of Frieza in his large hovering throne sitting in front of the grand glass window which flooded the entire living space with warm sunlight (a welcome change from all the rain). But sitting next to Frieza was a very tall, thin metal structure which looked very much like a Middle Eastern hookah, complete with a spout and a long snake-like tube leading from one side of the device and leading up to behind the rim of the hover chair, where it was assumed that The Galactic Overlord held it within his cold, white hand.

Suddenly, an irritated Frieza spoke: "Whomever you are, you had better have a good reason for barging into my room this early."

"It's me, Dodoria," the flabby pink alien spoke, approaching with caution, though having a hard time ignoring the hookah-like device or the powerful auromas it produced. "My apologies, Lord Frieza, but when I smelt something burning in here, I though the ship was on fire! Ha heh... um, say! That's a nice bong ya' got there, Sir." Dodoria tried his best to lighten the mood, but none doing.

"It is called a shi'krah, Dodoria." Spoke Frieza, lightly rolling his tongue as he pronounced the title of the instrument in his native Ice-jin language. "Now what do you want?"

Dodoria swallowed nervously. "Um, well... I have the new reports on the planet that you wanted, as well as the week's military cureculum, Sire."

Frieza thought for a moment, then took a breath from the tube of the shi'krah before replying, "Summarize them."

"Ah, alright; um, the military spreadsheet just says that several of our officers have contracted some kind of sickness from being on this new planet, so we're low on military staff at this point. As far as the Planetary Stats go, the native virus that's running rampant on this planet appears to be the only potential turn-off for any future buyers."

All the while Dodoria read from the papers, Frieza continued to take in whiffs from the gold mouthpiece held between his glossy black lips. As the light grayish-blue fumes issued from his nose and mouth, the minty arouma continued to grow in intensity; in fact, as Dodoria started to conclude his reports, Dodoria could suddenly feel himself becoming very lightheaded. From behind his hovering throne, Frieza could hear Dodoria started to stumble over his own wide set feet; while trying not to laugh, he dismissed Dodoria of any further words, but did order him to assemble the troops into two sanctions, one for Dodoria and the other for Zarbon while he, Frieza, would oversee the entire thing himself in order to compensate for the soldiers and commanders down in the sickbay. Then Frieza dismissed Dodoria entirely.

Struggling just to walk out of his master's chambers, Dodoria was huffing and wheezing when the tall sliding metal doors closed behind him, and like magic he was fine again once he got some normal air in his lungs.

"Good Kami al-freakin'-mightly!" Dodoria exclaimed to himself, slapping his forehead with his thick hand to wake himself up further. "Only the all powerful Lord Frieza could withstand such a drug as that (whatever that stuff even is)! Anymore time in there and I would've been dead! Haha... now, where the hell is Zarbon with that anti-virus chip?"

Speaking of whom, a few minutes later, Zarbon had just made it back to the loading dock of the flying saucer just as the many members of Frieza's massive army marched beside him in the opposite direction. Taking notice of the troops leaving the ship, Zarbon was on his way to Lord Frieza's chambers when he ran into Dodoria:

"Zarbon! There you are! Its about time you got back! Kiwi and I though you drowned in the rain puddles, hahaha!"

"Knock it off, mate. At least I managed to get back here without getting my hair wet."

"Sure whatever, Mr. Pre-Madonna! But where the hell did you stay this whole time?"

Taken aback and slightly worried on how to answer at first, Zarbon quickly notioned, "I was just with an aquaintance, Dodoria; that's all it was. Now what do I do with this anti-virus chip? And why are all the men leaving the ship now?"

"I'll take the chip down to the labs myself." Zarbon handed Dodoria the chip, just as the fat pink alien added, "And speaking of the men, Lord Frieza has ordered a full scale training session today; he's makin' 'em all run in the mud as a means of playing 'catch-up' due to all the sick officials around here."

"So I've now heard... where is Lord Frieza, though? I... want to have a word with him." Zarbon hoped he didn't sound as suspicious as he thought he did.

"Oh, he'll be coming out of his chambers soon, I'd imagine." Dodoria said. "But he's not in the mood to chat with anyone today."

Zarbon felt a small ping of panic in him. "He's not? Why is that?"

But Dodoria just shrugged. "Dunno. I just spoke with him myself while delivering him these reports, and Prince Frieza seems kinda bitchy today. But you know how it is: one day Frieza is the King of the Universe, the next he's wanting to destroying the Universe!"

Zarbon could feel a bead of sweat running down the side of his temple. "Yes. I'm well aware..."

Suddenly all the lights of the ship's corridors started to flicker; a clear sign of computer generating issues. Dodoria then started off down the opposite direction of the hall.

"Well, that's my cue to get this chip down to the labs before I'm forced to report computer issues to the Emperor as well, and of course I would hate to do that, as Frieza sure does hate getting bad news. I'll meet you down in the valley, Zarbon."

And with that he rushed off down the hall towards the computer room, leaving Zarbon standing in the middle of the hallway, now terrified that it would be he who would have to deliver some "delicate" bad news to The Ice-Jin Prince.

Within the next hour and a half, all of the men aboard Frieza's massive spaceship had deployed back unto the now thoroughly-soggy planet surface. Most had wisely taken the time to line themselves up on one side of the large wet field some ways away from Frieza's ship, while a few others just stood around, talking and making jokes about how little use this planet would be to anyone save intergalactic farmers. Eventually though, high upon a hill there appeared Dodoria, then Zarbon, and finally, Frieza.

In the clear light of day, and after a night of blissful unawareness for Dodoria and sexual deviation for Zarbon, the two henchmen got to gaze upon the face of their galactic Soveriegn: the dark bruises that blotched Frieza's normally pearl-white face and cuts etched into his white bone armor and soft pink skin of his arms and legs retold the terrible events that took place the other night; looking deeper into his master's beaten facade, Zarbon could see a sort of "emptiness" in Frieza's half-lidded ruby eyes, whether it was from the drugs he had been smoking or from the brutal treatment at the hands of his father, Zarbon certainly couldn't tell. Zarbon also took particular notice of the tall hookah-like drug-smoking device which sat floating a few inches off the ground between himself and next to its owner's hovering throne (apparently, being under the influence of such powerful drugs didn't make Lord Frieza's legendary telepathic powers any less legendary). None-of-the-less, General Zarbon still found it strangely possible to find pity for the beaten Frieza from within his own cold, reptilian heart.

Just then, Frieza, still stone-faced and taking silent huffs from the smoking tube of his shi'krah, lifted up his pale hand off the rim of his hover throne; Zarbon watched as Frieza extending his index finger, and a tiny red orb of energy came into form right over the sharp point of his black claw; Zarbon and Dodoria knew what was coming next...

Fling!

BLAST!

Without even a hint of emotion upon his bruised and scuffed white face, Frieza lowered his hand, aimed directly into the area of the uncooperating soldiers, and flicked the tiny energy orb away into the planet's surface, whereupon coming into contact with the muddy ground, it detonated into a fiery inferno, ripping apart that portion of the land and undoubtably annialating almost every soldier who once stood there.

When the screams and the panic died down, and all attention was properly fixed upon their master, the soldiers assembled themselves into their proper lines alongside the proper soldiers on the other half of the field, leaving the other to fester with rubble and thousands dead bodies.

Zarbon sighed. He was plenty used to this kind of destruction, hell he much enjoyed it really. Along with the annoyance that some of those foolish soldiers were his own and who had obviously forgotten everything they were taught by General Zarbon, the princely green-skinned man couldn't help but wonder if Frieza's bad mood was also the result of something else... did Lord Frieza know something about the actions which took place between he and Salza? And if so, how could he have known? Was that handsome blue-skinned pretty boy just as great a traitor as he, Zarbon, was to his own master?

Zarbon could feel himself becoming more and more anxious as he pondered all the terrible possibilities, so he did his best to focus his mind on what Frieza did next.

Taking up his index finger, Frieza aimed over to the side where all the soldiers now stood; after taking yet another long breath of his powerful dizzying drugs, Frieza then did something truly terrible: rather then just shooting out another destructive exploding red orb from his claw tip, Frieza pointed his finger at the collection of men and created a beam of blinding red energy, and began to shoot it at the now panicking people down below; every time the men would move to one side of the field to avoid being vaporized by the Fingerbeam, Frieza would simply move his finger around, allowing the destructive beam to "chase" them in circles. As screams and hollering filled the air, the great army began to break up into smaller groups, with some running off into the distance and others staying within their designated field.

Assuming Dodoria knew as well, Zarbon himself understood what Frieza was doing: the galactic overlord was just taking on yet another more brutal form of training of his men; though both Frieza's henchmen were weary of the fact that Frieza at that point was certainly not a sober overlord. Still, it gave Zarbon (and Dodoria) and ever further glimpse into just a hair of what Lord Frieza's power truly must have been.

However, for Frieza himself, this (including the drugs) was nothing more then just a way for him to vent his anger and frustrations over his abusive father and forced sex with his elder brother.

It was a couple hours later, and after he had finally grown bored with tormenting and exhausting what remained of his still-endlessly-vast army, Frieza took up retirement back into his ship while power fell back to General Zarbon and General Dodoria. Without having so much of a fear of dying as they did with their overlord, the men still made sure to cooperate when taking training instructions from Frieza's two henchmen. Th is carried on about the wet, muddy surface of the planet until around sundown, when most of the men were looking ready to pass out; with a few last stern words of critique from Zarbon about the importance of paying attention to when and where the Lord Frieza would show up, he and Dodoria dismissed them to retirement back inside the ship.

As the planets' suns were creeping beneath the watery reflective horizon, Zarbon could feel his insides churning with stress as he knew his time to report to his Master's chambers was riding fast upon him. Keeping up a good firm face, Zarbon was only caught off guard when Dodoria suddenly spoke,

"Hay Zarbon, check out that blondie over there!"

As Dodoria pointed a fat finger in the direction, Zarbon somehow knew instantly who it was that he had spotted.

Without looking, Zarbon asked, "Let me guess: that would be General Salza, head of the Armored Squadron and second-in-command to His Greatness, Lord Cooler, I presume?"

Looking over at his fellow man with surprise, Dodoria said, "Wow. How'd you come up with that, Zar'?"

"I'm not making it up, Dodoria; that is who I said it is. And from what I hear, Salza's quite the warrior as well, despite his good looks."

"'Despite his good looks'? "Look who's talkin'!" Dodoria scoffed. "Why if I didn't know any better, I'd say you and him were like brothers, or somethin'!"

Zarbon did want to chuckle at this, but the reptilian man was having a hard enough trouble as it was trying to make it seem like he barely knew or cared about this other man, whom he had just spend a few lovely hours with.

"Funny, I could almost say the same for you and a gum ball, Dodoria." Zarbon mocked back.

"...Eehh, whatever, man. You and your little 'clone' over there can make happy time if you wish, albeit you don't get killed by Frieza's brother for trespassing . I'm going inside for a beer. Peace."

And with that, Dodoria shuffled his wide self down the tall hill along with the few straggling men still making it back to the ship.

As he turned back to the shape of Salza walking back to his own master's ship, Zarbon could sense that some unknown force was telling him to do the same thing, so he proceeded to the massive space saucer, undoubtedly to face Frieza...