Title: The Reason

Author: Sorasgirl333

Summary: They say your first love never dies and to never regret something that once made you smile, even if he was the one to give you your biggest heartbreak.

Disclaimer: You all should clearly know by now that I don't own any of the Square-Enix stuff, nor do I own the song The Reason, that belongs to Hoobastank. I don't know if you could classify me owning my own events that happened in my life.. If so, they're mine and they also belong to the people I shared them with.

Authors Note: Yeah, most of you should know (if you've read What A Life or know me personally) the events that took place between my ex boyfriend and me. It was a sad thing that I went through but we've been talking again and we're willing to make up and try to move onto a better relationship as best friends. Anywho, this story kind of covers what's happened and how things are now. Enjoy!

---

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to kn–

She turned off the stereo realizing what this song had meant to her for the last five months and what boy had promised he'd always love her. The young girl was curled up into a ball in the middle of the night staring at the stars outside her bedroom window. She sat close to the glass that looked out on the world wondering what happened to her perfect life as she wiped away the warm tears that were making paths down her now rosy cheeks. The memory of what had happened earlier that day slowly came back into her already congested mind.

Kairi slowly scooted off her bed to turn on the bedroom light. Once the room lit up, she stood in front of her mirror-closet. The once always cheery auburn haired 14, soon to be 15-year-old, now stared at her reflection that looked nothing like her. Her eyes were red and puffy and her lightly tan skin was pale. She reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear before walking over to get the notebook she had between her best friend, Namine, and herself. Kairi grabbed a pen and turned to the next available page of their diary like notebook. She sat down on her bed again and started to write what had happened that evening.

Hey, Sunday, 10/10/2004

I never expected today to turn out like this! Okay, well my mom took me to Olive Garden because when me and Roxas were going out, we planned to go there for our celebrated shared birthday which was supposed to be today. Well when we got back, around five-ish, Ricky (Christy's boyfriend) and Brian came over (A/N: This is an actual entry by the way. It's personal but it's ready to be put out for people to know... and as most of you know Christy is in Dear Diary/Dear Diary 2... yes she's in here oh btw, Christy and Kairi/me are next door neighbors). They said that Christy was at Roxas's house. My heart started to race. I told Ricky that I would be nervous if I were him and he started to, because in May when me and Roxas first went out, Christy said she would probably try to go for Roxas if we ever broke up and Roxas told me that if we ever got into a huge fight, if we broke up, that he would go out with Christy to make me jealous. Of course it never really bothered me too much because I never thought me and Roxas would break up. Anyway, they were supposed to come home by six and by that time, while we were waiting, Miguel (A/N: my cousin) and Brian's younger brother showed up. Me and Brian decided to go and ask Lindsey (A/N: Christy's brother) when Christy would be back and when we rang the doorbell, Christy answered. Everyone came to the door and Christy left us outside. After a few seconds, I just went inside. As I was walking to her room, I heard her say "They're still out there." I figured she was on the phone with Roxas and as I turned the corner, there Roxas was. My mouth dropped open and my eyes got big. I looked at him and I looked at her. I told Christy that I would be right back. As I left her room, I began to cry. Ricky started to get even more nervous. We all went inside. After a little bit, Ricky, Miguel and I went to my house to get this envelope with notes for Roxas. By the time I got back to Christy's, I threw the envelope at Roxas and said "This is what I was going to give you, you might want to read them." Then Ricky, Miguel and I waited outside while Brian talked to Roxas. After a while, everyone went home. I went and told my mom what had just happened. Of course I cried again. After I told her, I called Christy to have Roxas meet me outside. Roxas met me out front and we about how I felt about things. He told me the reason why he broke up with me was because his feelings for me started to fade away, they've been that way for a month.

That explains why he's been acting different for a month. Man, hearing this was just hurting my spirit. He also told me that if, if he ever went out with Christy, it wouldn't be for revenge, that would just be cold. I agreed and told him that I hope he doesn't go out with any of my friends because even that would be cold. I told him that we were planing to try to get him jealous. Well, I don't think we should do that and that we should try to return to normal. Ricky called me up in the middle of the convo and said that Christy had to tell him something and he was really scared to know what it was about. After a while, Roxas said something doesn't feel right so we went to Christy's house. They were okay. Roxas had to talk to Ricky, so they did. Christy told me that she invited Roxas over yesterday and that they never went to his house. I asked why she never told me. She said they were afraid of how I would react. She also told me she was starting to like him again; she mentioned "You're going to have to realize that we'll be hanging out more now that you guys aren't together anymore." She was becoming my friend again, then she does something like hang out and like my ex boyfriend after only three days of us not being together! I feel horrible... it's amazing how much can happen to a person in three days. Just thought you should know how my weekend went. Love always, Kairi

Kairi closed her notebook and put it away in her bag before realizing it was late and that she really needed her sleep. The small framed girl curled up into a ball and stared out the window wondering what life would be like if nothing had changed before her eyes grew heavy and she fell asleep.

---

The days passed with memories of him and her. Eventually the days turned into weeks, then months, and eventually it was a whole new school year. Kairi hardly ever talked to the boy who had promised to never break her heart. The first couple weeks were the hardest. She would see him walking down the hall with his friends all happy… without her. They talked on the phone every once in a while but she would only end up in tears after hanging up. That was the true tragedy of teenage heartbreaks.

The summer went by without seeing Roxas or talking to Christy for that matter. Kairi avoided all ways possible so not to end up crying again. She and Namine met new people and Kairi did develop new crushes but no one to take the pain away completely. Namine eventually went to a private school leaving Kairi back at Destiny High School with just Tidus and Sora who were her other two best friends. The boys always made sure she was okay and promised to never hurt her.

It was the first day of Kairi's Junior year at DHS. Tidus and Sora walked to their classes once the bell had rung, leaving Kairi to walk through the crowd on her way to her History class in 400 hall. The auburn haired, 15-year-old stared at the faces she passed seeing how happy everyone was. She was no longer sad but nor was she her completely happy self. Kairi knew she couldn't let Roxas haunt her forever so she managed to do the best she could. For some reason; however, she felt she would see the golden-blond haired teen again sometime soon. Kairi walked through the busy hallway and into her classroom. Not too many people were in there yet so she slowly made her way to a table with a few familiar faces. She watched her feet tread across the carpet and as soon as she was about to reach the table, she noticed someone grab the seat she was about to take. Kairi's cobalt colored eyes shifted up to see who had just taken her spot. She couldn't believe whom she had just spotted.

"I had a feeling you would be in one of my classes this year…" She said to the royal blue colored eyes that were staring back up at her. Roxas hadn't changed too much since she had last seen him.

"Hi." He smiled softly. Kairi smiled slightly before replying with a 'hi' and sitting at a new table. She sank into her chair and watched as her hair fell from behind her ears and shadowed her face from the world as she sighed to herself. Roxas was laughing with his table mates behind Kairi. She tried not to care but just seeing him once brought back all the mixed feelings she wanted to throw away.

"Good morning class!" A deep thundering voice said from the doorway. Kairi sat up to see her teacher walk in. "Welcome to U.S. History!"

"I know someone who likes you." Christy's and her then boyfriend, James, brought up randomly during lunch one day back in their freshmen year. It was late April of 2004, the sun was starting to warm up the town as Spring had finally relieved them of their winter. Kairi was sitting against the cool brick wall with Christy, James, Namine, Yuffie, Jess, and Wakka, as she watched Tidus and Sora goofing around. Kairi turned to look at Christy who didn't smile nor frown at the statement she had just brought up.

"That was random… but who is it?" Kairi asked out of curiosity. She wouldn't really worry about this new admirer too much since she was dating Tidus's cousin, even though it was a long distance relationship.

"My buddy Roxas." James answered. "He's in band with us."

"Oh… cool…" She said kind of shrugging. It was flattering that someone had liked her even though Tidus and Sora had already confessed that they, too, were crushing on her. Kairi wasn't all that impressed yet since it was a 'band geek' who liked her although she couldn't say much considering she was a 'choir nerd'.

"You two should go to the semiformal together." James insisted. Kairi looked at him wondering if he was serious or not.

"Why?" She asked him.

"So you two can get to know each other. Who knows maybe something may happen." He smiled.

"I'll get to know him, but nothing will happen. I'm dating Shay."

"That's long distance. Roxas is right here." James winked. Kairi just stared at him.

"I'm getting to know him, that's all." She said.

---

Kairi never ended up going to the dance, which she felt bad about. It wasn't really her fault though, her math teacher clearly hated her and the rest of his students and gave her a negative mark on her conduct report. Supposedly if you received a low mark, you weren't aloud at the dance. The 14-year-old sat at home with her pajama's on talking on the phone with Tidus who didn't go since Kairi didn't. Her other friends had called her and insisted she came anyway because they weren't really checking. The whole thought of the dance just didn't seem fun anymore so she refused to go.

Two weeks had passed since the Semiformal. Kairi had heard from all her friends who went, that Roxas did indeed like Kairi. To make up for not going to the dance with him, she agreed to get to know him on the band and choir trip to Six Flags on May 7th. Everyone was excited to go there and compete in the "Music At The Parks" competition. Kairi, Jess, Christy, James and Roxas waved to the ones staying behind as they climbed on the two busses they provided for the students going. Christy, Jess, and Kairi sat on the bus with most of the younger students which they weren't too happy about. Roxas and James were lucky to get on the bus with all their friends.

The ride was about five hours on the busses and it was a long and boring one for the three girls. Christy was in tears most of the time since she was promised to be on the bus with her boyfriend, yet didn't get to. Jess and Kairi tried to cheer her up but it didn't work. After arriving in town, they checked into their hotel rooms then headed to the mall where Jess's parents took the her and Kairi out to eat. About twenty minutes before the busses were set to leave back for the hotel, Kairi and Jess ran to look for their friends. They ran up and down the mall stories and found out just before it was time to go; they were in the corridor over from where they were to begin with. Jess, Devin, Roxas, James, Christy and Kairi ran out the doors to catch the busses and realized they were on the wrong side of the mall. The six of them ran as fast as they could to catch the busses.

"Let's play chicken!" Roxas declared later that night in the pool where the two classes were having fun. Kairi scooted toward the group to see what was going on.

"I'm with James." Christy said as he ducked under the water. Christy moved forward and slowly rose above the water, on top of James's shoulders. "It's cold!" She shivered holding onto her arms.

"Jess," Devin said waving the tall blonde toward him. Jess did the same thing and soon was on Devin's shoulders.

"Come on, Kai." Roxas smiled. Kairi agreed with a smile and soon she and Roxas were on a team. "Let's fight!" Roxas ran forward, well tried to, in the water toward the other groups. Kairi was small but she managed to knock over the other two.

"Yay!" She cheered as she hopped off of Roxas shoulders. "We won!" She and Roxas high fived each other.

"Rematch!" Devin said. The group of friends battled it out for another five rounds before getting sick of playing and hopping into the hot tub near by. Kairi's cobalt colored eyes watched the blond haired boy compete against a few others to see who could hold their breath the longest under the hot water. She felt a smile begin to form upon her face. Kairi quickly snapped out of it when the chaperones told the students it was time for bed. They all walked up together to their rooms where Kairi was sad to say by to her friends.

The next day after the competition, the band and choir students split up into their friends and ran through the park to have fun. Christy and James denied the offer to hang out with Devin, Jess, Roxas, Kairi and a few others. Throughout the day, Roxas and Kairi got to know each other better as they rode all the rides together. A little before closing, Jess went home with her parents while Kairi rode on the bus with her friends. She agreed to sit with Roxas since she really wanted to be near him. The sky was finally dark but it had many stars twinkling. It was late at night and Kairi could feel her eyes grow heavier with each yawn that managed to sneak out.

"You can lean on me if you want." Roxas said quietly. He was closer to the window and the only way Kairi could get comfortable enough to sleep was if she leaned against something.

"All right. Thank you." She smiled softly. Her head slowly fell onto Roxas's shoulder. He put his arm around her petite body to keep her warm. Kairi thought about her boyfriend that was eight hours away and couldn't help but feel bad for what she was doing, but she knew deep down that she was falling for the boy keeping her warm. Her eyes closed and soon she was asleep.

---

It had been two and a half months since the Six Flags trip. Shay and Kairi argued and eventually broke up. They were still okay and friends but Kairi didn't hesitate to end up with Roxas. They had been dating for about two months now and they were with Tidus at the hilltop that over looked the valley. Christy and James had eventually broken up and Tidus had dated Christy for not even 24 hours before she called it off. Tidus was very heartbroken and so he sat at the edge tossing rocks around. Roxas and Kairi were walking around a house they were building.

It was a cool July evening. Roxas and Kairi sat in the wooden windowsill and stared out at the orange, pink and purple sunset. Kairi leaned against her boyfriend as he wrapped his arms around her stomach to keep her close.

"I feel bad for Tidus." Kairi said sadly watching her friend drown in his misery of a broken heart.

"Me too." Roxas agreed. "But he'll pull out of it."

"Yeah." She smiled sadly resting her head on his shoulder. Her eyes glanced into the sky to see the clouds moving slowly as the sun was getting ready for bed. The cars on the highway had begun to turn on their headlights with made a stream of yellow light below. The hill tops began to darken and the colors in the sky became more deep. "It's gorgeous. I'm glad you're here with me."

"I'm glad I'm here too." Kairi felt his lips on her head which caused her to smile. He hugged her tighter. The two noticed Tidus just sitting there and knew that right then he needed his friends. "Let's go."

"Huh?" Kairi questioned as she stood up. Roxas stood from the window and jumped out another to meet up with his buddy. Kairi watched as Roxas patted Tidus's back to comfort him in his time of need. Kairi crossed her arms and admired the site. She knew that Roxas was the one she wanted to be with forever. He had a caring heart and was a good person all around. She knew life couldn't get any better as she headed down to the two boys.

---

It was early October of their Sophomore year. Roxas and Kairi spent a lot of their time with each other over summer vacation and seemed perfect every day. Tidus eventually was able to move on again and had feelings for Kairi once more. Christy and Kairi were barely starting to get along after continuous bickering back and forth and Christy liking Roxas over the summer. Finally, Christy got a boyfriend, Ricky, and that's when things started to be okay.

Kairi was noticing ever since school started, Roxas hadn't been himself. She tried not to worry about it but something was wrong and she could feel it. He hadn't been himself lately. Roxas seemed to avoid Kairi, if possible, which wasn't normal. Roxas's and Kairi's birthdays were coming up. His being October 7, and hers being October 12 (A/N: Which is true btw for those of you who didn't know), and they planned to celebrate their fifteenth birthdays with each other on the tenth, which was the day perfectly in the middle.

It was a week before Roxas's birthday and Kairi couldn't help but cry herself to sleep every night. The fact that Roxas didn't seem to love her anymore was killing her inside. Something was wrong and he wouldn't admit it.

"Where's Roxas?" Sora asked looking around during lunch of October 7th. Kairi sighed and sat down on the stone statue in front of Destiny High School.

"I don't know." She replied looking at her group of friends who were also planning to spend Roxas's birthday with him. "He promised me he'd be here."

"Let's go look for him." Tidus said. Amanda (A/N: not the one from Dear Diary 2), Jess, Devin, Tidus, Namine, Sora, and Kairi looked at each other.

"I can't leave the school. My mom won't let me." Namine frowned.

"I'll go." Kairi stood up.

"I"ll come with you." Sora said.

"Same here." Tidus agreed. Soon everyone wanted to come but that'd mean they'd leave Namine behind.

"Sora and I will go. The rest of you stay here with Namine." Kairi told them. Sora and Kairi wandered the whole school and the possible place's Roxas would be but had no luck.

"Why don't we try Wendy's." The brunet suggested. Kairi and Sora stuck together as they walked off the school grounds to the nearby fast food restaurant. Sure enough, Roxas was there with many of his band buddies. They all looked up at the two best friends as Roxas tried to reach out to Kairi. She crossed her arms and stepped back out of his reach. He gave her a questioning look but she only shook her head and ran out the door with Sora following behind her. Kairi couldn't tell if she was more mad or sad by the time she got back to school and explained to her friends what happened.

"Roxas is back." Amanda said after coming from inside the school a while after Kairi and Sora came back from Wendy's.

"And he didn't come here?" Kairi said looking in the direction of the band room where she assumed he'd be. She slowly made her way to the room with all of her truest friends close behind. She pushed the door open with as much force as she could with all the anger built up inside her. She didn't want to be mad on his birthday but she couldn't help it. She walked up the steps where Roxas and his friends were. They all whispered amongst themselves as Kairi and her friends stared back. All Kairi wanted to know was where she went wrong in this relationship. Was it something she did to cause him to change? She shook her head only to leave the same way she did when she saw him at Wendy's. Her friends followed behind, annoyed by how their friend had treated their other friend.

---

"Kairi, call me back. We need to talk." Roxas's voice was dull as Kairi and Christy listened to Kairi's answering machine. She was rubbing her arms and tried to hold back her tears as she had a feeling she knew what he needed to talk about. It was after school the same day and the two "love birds" hadn't talked since lunch.

"It's okay." Christy tried to reassure her neighbor and was also trying to prove she wanted to be friends again. Kairi looked at her dirty blonde haired friend and nodded slowly as she made her way across her bedroom toward her phone which seemed to be a lot further than it actually was. Kairi grabbed the white phone and sat at the edge of her bed next to Christy. She slowly dialed his number and it rang in her ear a couple times before Roxas picked up.

"Hello?" He said in an irritated voice. Kairi took in a deep breath.

"Hi." She said almost in a whisper as her voice began to shake. "What did you want to talk about?"

"What was your problem earlier?" Roxas was angry and his voice clearly portrayed it. Kairi flinched a little as the tears began to pour out her eyes. She was angry at him and he was angry at her. The young teenage girl realized what she had done earlier today was wrong and that she shouldn't have acted that way but she realized he shouldn't be angry at her either.

"What's my problem?" She asked with more courage and slight irritation in her own voice. Kairi began to shake and she looked over at Christy. For some reason, Kairi's emotions transferred into Christy's and she was also crying. The auburn haired girl watched herself through her mirror closet doors to see her face red and her eyes puffy with tear-streaked cheeks. "I just wanted to spend your birthday with you! I've been wanting to since May!"

"Why were you so bitchy about it!" He was furious. Kairi was crying harder now and she was shaking uncontrollably. She didn't want to seem weak but she couldn't help it. It fell quiet on the other line and Kairi wondered if Roxas had hung up on her.

"I don't know..." She whimpered softly. There was another silence but it wasn't too long before Roxas said his final words.

"You know what, Kairi, I'm done!" There was a click and finally Kairi heard the beeping on the other line. Kairi clicked the off button and cried her heart out.

"Oh my god!" She screamed as Christy wrapped her arms around the petite framed girl.

"I'm so sorry." Christy said trying to calm her down as she cried herself.

"I can't believe he just broke up with me. I still love him." Kairi managed to say through her tears. Her heart had just broken into a million pieces and she was lost in everything she once knew. Kairi and Christy managed to calm down from the heart wrenching cry after about ten minutes which was enough time for Kairi to call Tidus to come over.

Tidus was over about fifteen minutes after they hung up. Kairi explained what happened and only ended up in tears again. Tidus wrapped his arms around his best friend trying to calm her down the best he could. Deep down he was furious at Roxas for breaking this girls heart.

"Should I call up Roxas to see what happened?" Christy asked staring at Tidus and Kairi in the doorway. Kairi shrugged with a small nod as Christy reached for the phone and called up Roxas. They began to talk and nothing was really brought up in the conversation about Kairi and Roxas's breakup. Kairi and Tidus watched the other teenage girl laughing and flirting with the boy on the other line. Suddenly anger was being built up inside cobalt colored-eyed girl as she watched her ex friend flirting up a storm with her ex boyfriend, whom she still loved. As she watched everything happening before her, she realized life would never be the same, nor would she ever expect the worst to come just a few days later.

"I don't want my heart to break again." Kairi sniffled well into her Senior year. (A/N: All of this is recent stuff now from like the last two weeks, some events are changed to face-to-face convos though). Sora, who was her best friend and current boyfriend, held onto the girl he had fallen in love with. They had been together since June 6, 2006, even though Sora confessed his love for her back in March and Kairi confessed in May.

"I wont ever hurt you." Sora said wiping her eyes of her warm salt-filled tears. "I promise."

"I've been heartbroken before by Roxas, I can't stand to feel that way again." The 17-year-old reminded her best friend who had been there the whole time.

"I know." He wrapped his arms around her. They had been going through problems which was causing their relationship to be rocky. It was time that Kairi told Sora before it ended like her's and Roxas's relationship. She wanted to be with Sora more than anything in this world and she needed things to work if he felt the same.

"You've been acting different. You seem distant from me which Roxas had done before he broke up with me." Kairi sighed as she snuggled up against the ocean blue-eyed 18-year-old.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, but I promise I'll make this work." Sora said kissing her light pink lips. "I won't hurt you. I love you."

"I love you too." She wrapped her arms around Sora and hugged him tightly knowing this is where she wanted to be.

The rest of the day was an easy one where Sora and Kairi just spent the day laughing and enjoying life together. It was truly a meant to be relationship with these two best friends and everyone close to them could clearly see that. Later that evening after Kairi drove Sora home, she received a message online from someone very familiar to her.

Kairi had sent a message to this somewhat of a stranger, recently. They hadn't talked too much this year but it was time things were made up by now. A friendship was starting to rekindle from the ashes of a great relationship. It had been a year and a half since the two were really close but she thought it'd be good to get to know someone she thought she knew better than anyone else.

Sent on Feb. 18: I think we should have lunch together sometime or hang out after school... at least once before the school year is over (nods).

The boy who had received this message was eager to meet up with the one who sent it. He replied and not too long after, got a reply back agreeing to meeting up just about a week later after school.

---

The day had come to hang out. Kairi was wrapped up in her warm fuzzy jacket since it was a cold afternoon. She had waved Sora and Olette, a best friend since last year, off while she headed to the nearby park. Her heart was beating at a slightly faster pace and she couldn't explain why. Kairi's feet drug the whole way as she stared at the ground moving as she went by. After a slow walk, she made it in about five minutes with the park to herself. Kairi walked across the grass and sat on the swings. Her small hands wrapped around the chains as she slowly rocked back and forth. She stared down at her feet that disappeared and reappeared behind her knees.

I've found a reason for meTo change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

"Hey." A voice said in front of her. Her eyes wandered from her feet to the person standing before her.

"Hi." She said back as he sat down next to her. Kairi watched the boy wrap his hands around the chains of the swing too as he looked back at her.

"It sure is cold." The golden-blond haired boy said. Kairi nodded and examined his face. He didn't look all too different from when she last studied his features last year. His eyes were still kind of sad looking as he looked at her. Kairi stared down at the ground again. This had been the first time they actually really talked in person, as just the two of them, since that fall of 2004.

"You seem sad..." Kairi said quietly looking up at Roxas.

"It's because I am." Roxas sighed. "After talking to you this last week, I realize what I've done."

"What do you mean?"

"The break up. Me breaking up with you. I regret it now." The boy seemed even more hurt as he said this aloud. Kairi could sense the pain he felt but she had felt even greater pain since it had happened to her.

"How have you felt about the whole thing?" Kairi asked curiously as she shifted her weight so she could face her ex better.

"As soon as I did it, I felt like a jerk, like the biggest jerk in the world. Then as time went on, that was just a planted seed that kept growing inside of me. Knowing that I hurt you as much as I did made me feel like dirt. I hated myself; then we had class together last year which showed me that you didn't completely hate me, which was comforting, and to this day I still hate myself for doing what I did..." Roxas was in pain and it was finally clear now. Kairi knew how he felt because she felt almost the same way.

"I'm sorry you feel that way but you were the one who hurt me." Kairi said looking at a few birds flying above them.

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over newand the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

"I know and I wish it wasn't." He whispered. Kairi liked hearing this because never in a million years would she have thought to hear this come from his mouth. More curiosity about his feelings started to make her wonder, making her ask more questions.

"What do you wish you could do to change it?"

"I'd go back and that one day when you told me you missed me and were willing to change, I should have said yes. And then when you got back from your vacation, I should have talked to you and then everything would have worked out."

"How often do you think about the past?"

"I think about the past a lot, almost every day and every time that I see you, what used to be, how happy we were, how much I loved you..." He was looking at Kairi now. She didn't know if he was just saying this or if this was true and she probably never would know the truth unless he did something big to prove it. No matter what though, she did enjoy hearing this come from him.

"How do you wish things were now?"

"I wish things never changed and that I never broke up with you so that we would both be happy right now... I wish I could still hear those 3 simple words roll of your lips and they would be in my head forever...and that I could say them in return and we would both know it was meant to be." Roxas said quietly.

"Again, I'm sorry." Kairi said leaning her head against one of the chains. "That's exactly how I've felt since you broke up with me. I was still in love if you for I don't know how long but you never came back to me. I figured you were over me and I'd never be with you again."

"I should have come back to you."

"But you didn't, and that's why we aren't together now. I tried to get back with you but you never excepted me after the break up. I figured you'd always want to be with Christy and I couldn't handle that. My life was ruined after we broke up. All my trust for everyone in my life was tossed out the window." Kairi was getting sad as she stared into the sky. "All I wanted was to have someone love me and I thought you'd be the one to do that."

"I was. I am."

"I've come a long way since me and you. I've slowly gained my trust back with people. It took a long time for me to move on; a year and half!" She cried out, slightly angry at the fact she had waited that long for him and he never came. "I needed someone to be there for me when I needed it. I hoped you'd be back with me. I tried to move onto other guys, like Ryan, but you kept coming into mind! I wondered and doubted everything... all because I was scared."

"I'm sorry I did that to you. I never meant to hurt you." He was sorry and she could see it.

"But the thing is, is that you did hurt me. I don't think I've cried that hard since that day you broke up with me except for when I thought Sora was going to do the same thing you did just last week. Nothing's been the same between us and all I hoped was that we could at least be friends, which is starting to happen. I loved you, Roxas."

"You have no idea how much I still miss you, and love you. Every single time I hear the name Kairi, I look quickly to see if it is you. Whenever I see you my heart skips a beat, just as it did in 9th grade. I never stopped loving you, Kairi, not once. Even when I was dating Jenn or Tia or Jessi, I tried not to think about you but it didn't happen. You were my everything and I couldn't stand to be away from you. I still can't. Dammit why does life suck so much!" He yelled. "I can't stop thinking about you! I haven't been able to for the past 2 years! I still love you, maybe not as much as I used to, but I still do. And I miss every second that I am not with you. Every single second. Not a minute of my time was a waste when I was with you, not one, but yeah, those are my feelings. I love you...always and forever."

Kairi looked at him. He was kind of breathing heavier than normal.

"I've been that way too but I've been able to have someone pull me out of my sorrow. Sora has been there the whole time and he was willing to help me move on from the past. He showed me that there is someone out there for everyone. I still think about you a lot, never really stopped I guess but that's because you've left such a big impact on me. I couldn't be any more thankful with where me and you have come along now though. I never thought I'd really speak or even befriend you for that matter after we broke up. I'm happy in my life and I want you to be too because we can't keep holding onto the past. We'll always be together, that's impossible from now on. I'm sure you'll find your true love. I'm willing to help you, Roxas. I want to be there for you. I promised I always would and I'm still keeping to my promise." Kairi said standing up. "I never let you down before, have I?"

"Never." Roxas stood up too, revealing his height difference. She stared up at the tall blue eyed 17-year-old. Kairi moved closer and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around her too and he couldn't feel more at home.

"I'll always be here." She said quietly as she stepped back to look at him again.

"I am too." Roxas nodded.

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

"Promise?" Kairi asked nervously. That was what her whole relationship was based off of: Promises. Promises that were broken that made her heart break. This was going to the first real promise that the two friends were going to agree on and hopefully not the last. And hopefully, these would be kept... forever.

"Promise." Roxas said placing his hand in hers.

A/N: Finished! Gosh this was too long... oh well. It's not something I'm dying for you to review (although they would be nice). It was just something that needed to be written. All facts in here. The things Roxas said were the things Caleb (my ex) had recently said to me. Me and him are good friends now and hopefully everything will be okay and hopefully he'll find someone to make him happy. Anyway, hope those of you who read this actually enjoyed it. Review or not, it's up to you this time. Thank you!