Author's Notes: I always wondered why they never put those two together. After writing this, I finally realized the reason. xD
Summary: She was beautiful, mysterious, and powerful. A perfect Mary Sue if anybody's ever seen one. Then along came the mysterious past that's supposed to tie it all together. OneShot Parody
Disclaimer: -checks- Well, since my request to buy YYH for a safety pin and some lint hasn't been accepted yet, I don't own YYH.
Unsolved Mysteries
She was beautiful. She was mysterious. She was powerful. Her name was long, fancy, and consisted of sounds that never even existed in the Japanese language.
She was El Princessa Sinorita Bella Banana Shadow Sue the Third.
The Reikai Tentai called her Stupid for short.
Then that day came.
Stupid woke up with a feeling of dread in her beautiful stomach. She immediately ran to weep it to Kurama, who was rather interested in using her tears to water his plants.
"It's better than water because we don't pump up Genkai's hydro bill this way," he states wisely, holding a bucket under Stupid's face as she proceeded to weep in utter sadness and depression.
"B-but, don't you get it?" she choked out. "Something terrible's going to befall me today. I can just feel it!"
Kurama knew what she was talking about, of course, since he's just so much smarter than Yuu Kaitou.
"Yes, yes," he chided. "Last time you were overcome with a feeling of dread, which was yesterday, you were suddenly overcome with a fatal disease which can only be cured by a kiss from the forbidden child—Hiei. The poor guy's still in a coma because of that."
"No!" she protested. "It's worse than that!"
"Like two days ago, when the Makai and Ningenkai suddenly broke out into a war that ended in a day because you valiantly discovered some newfound powers to save it with? Of course, it had to involve you dying and being revived by a kiss from me," Kurama shuddered at the memory.
"Well, yes," she said, tears suddenly halting as she returned to looking more beautiful than ever. No poofy cheeks, no swollen eyes, nothing. "Except," she muttered, "I think it's going to happen to me."
It took all of the former thief's self restraint to not prance around the temple, giggling like an idiot.
Deciding that the bishounen wouldn't be sweeping her up into his arms and kissing the tears away any time soon, Stupid huffed. "Hn. Like you'd understand me."
Kurama decided not to comment.
Then, as was required with all cold, silent, and completely mysterious characters, Stupid disappeared without a trace.
---
As the setting sun made its way out of the sky, the Reikai Tentai huddled around a table, each looking more anxious than the last.
"Dammit!" Yusuke exclaimed. "I can't believe Stupid's gone!"
"I know!" Kuwabara agreed. "The last time she disappeared, everything in Koenma's vault did along with her."
"And we were the ones who had to get it back," Yusuke huffed. "That took us two whole hours!"
"That was only because Hiei agreed to let her glomp him," Kurama reminded. "He really does a lot for the team."
"Yeah!" Yusuke exclaimed. "I'm supposed to be the protagonist here! Not him."
"I'm sure Hiei wouldn't mind getting into the back seat again, Yusuke," the redhead said. "But with Stupid here, that'll never happen."
"Everything seems to revolve around her and the shrimp making out," Kuwabara agreed.
The other two boys nodded in agreement to the orange-haired boy.
"Look at this," Hiei stated as enthusiastically as a Hiei could, suddenly appearing in the doorway.
"Hiei!" Kurama exclaimed. "You got out of your coma!"
"Well, yes. After all, I had to see this," here he held up an old newspaper. On it read this:
Miracle Nerd Disappears!
Twelve year old miracle nerd vanishes overnight. Police baffled but too lazy to continue investigation.
Under it was a picture. There was Stupid, mysterious, dark, evil Stupid, sporting a pink tutu, an ugly haircut, and a huge set of glasses too big for her face.
The Reikai Tentai burst out laughing.
"So her feeling of dread was right," Kurama managed between his chuckling.
"That's why she never talked to us about her past!" Kuwabara exclaims happily. He was then whacked on the head by a very peeved Yusuke, who sported the 'duh' look.
Then the Reikai Tentai held a very big party to celebrate. They invited all their friends, including the ghost of Younger Toguro and that guy you only saw for three seconds in that episode you don't remember.
And Stupid? Well, nobody ever saw or heard from her again.
Here's to the mysterious female whose dark past caught up to her. Cheers!
I have no clue whatsoever where this idea came from. But, eh, it's good. Right?
…
Right? -insert horrid attempt at being menacing here-
Review. Constructive criticism, and stuff like that. This story wasn't meant to offend anybody who is currently and/or will be writing a mysterious girl with an equally ambiguous past. But you gotta admit, Miracle Nerd is a mysterious past. There's even a disappearance! Zomigawd!